Post by Jimmy Zane on Jul 27, 2011 7:03:28 GMT -6
*BUZZ*
*BEEP*
*CRACKLE*
{Stupid Technology}
*BUZZ*
*SLAM*[/color]
{Why won't this stupid thing work?!}
*SLAM SLAM*
(Suddenly the picture comes in crisp and clear. You see movement in front of the camera, and then, in a chair sits Jimmy Zane/James Wolfe/Whatever you are calling him this week. He adjust his seat to get comfortable and clears his throat. He sits there in silence for a moment before beginning to talk.)
You know the last few weeks have been epically hard on me personally. Not because of whats happened in the ring, but because of whats happening outside of it. I have been verbally abused, ripped to shreds, beaten down and then some. My whole life has been dissected, and my career has as well. It's funny to think that I have had a **** load of gimmick changes throughout my time in NCW, but when you look back, its been quite a lot. Hell, I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have changed my gimmick. It's pretty sad I think. Trying to hard to be things I am not just to impress a bunch of pricks who couldn't care less. Actually, sad is rather a lighter term. I think a better word would be..
Downright PATHETIC!
Throughout my time here, I have tried to fit in where I could. I have tried to impress those who needed to be impressed. I have tried all of these things with the hopes that something would catch on. Something would be good enough for the fans, and for management. Sadly, none of it ever has. I tried the Joker gimmick, and of course, I was ripped to shreds about it being the latest movie craze, and it was just a ripoff. I tried the evil thing. Yeah, that worked for about a month until it got old, or people got bored. I don't remember which, but I am pretty sure it was a little of both. Then I left. Then I was supposed to be the "pale horse" but unfortunately circumstances beyond my control kept me from returning, but that would have undoubtedly failed.
Horribly!
I have tried so many ****ing gimmicks that I lost who I was. I lost who I was supposed to be. I got so lost, that I ended up at the bottom of a hole that I couldn't get out of. The more I changed my gimmick, the deeper the hole got. The deeper the hole got, the more I struggled. The more I struggled, the worse it got. And the cycle just kept on and on and on until I woke up one day and found myself in a hole so deep that I didn't think it was possible to ever get out. I mean sure, I am one half of the tag team champions. But Lex has picked up the majority of the wins. So I guess everyone is right, I am riding his coattails. I guess I am lucky in that respect. Hell, I should be rotting at the bottom of the curtain jerker squad. Just waiting for my next match, so I can walk out there, get my ass kicked, collect a paycheck and go home. That should be my life in NCW!
But somehow, it's not.
So I started examining why and how I got into this hole. Why I made so many changes in such a short time. And you know what I came up with? I have come to the conclusion that I did it so that the upper management would notice how hard I was working. I did it so that management would see that I was trying to find something that they liked. That they could support. And all I did was become the laughing stock of this company. The whipping boy. The butt of every joke. And the more I fought it, the worse it got. To be honest, I couldn't tell you how I became tag team champion. Or how I got teamed with Lex. Or any of it. But I can tell you that I get some frustrated sometimes with myself and this company that I can't remember who I am half the time.
I can't tell where whatever character I am playing this week ends, and the real me begins!
I have tried to include drama, suspense, humor, darkness, and every other aspect you can think of, in my promos. I have tried to appeal to mass audiences and try to become a household name. But again, it has failed miserably. So miserably in fact, that I have battled bouts of depression, alcoholism, drug addiction, and so many other things you never heard of before. Why? Because I couldn't personally cope with epic failure after epic failure. You never heard of it because I kept it quiet. I kept it on the down low. I am sure there were suspicions on the locker room. I am sure people had their notions that I was doing things I probably shouldn't have been, and I was. I was doing things that nobody should have been doing.
But I am still standing.
Only God knows why I am still in this business. Or why I continue to push each and every week. Trying to be the best in this business, because quite frankly, I never will be. Any chance of me becoming the best went out the window when I started making so many changes to my persona that even I forgot who I was. If I can't keep that **** straight, how can anyone else? The task became so ridiculous that even I tired of it. I grew tired of having to play someone different every week. And you know what the truly weird, sad, and insane thing is?
I am only that way here in NCW.
I left this company on bad terms. I lost the tag titles and I walked out. I couldn't have given a **** about those titles anymore than I gave a **** about anything. Everyone will tell you that when the going got tough, Jimmy Zane got going....out the door. Like I said, it's a running joke around here. Not that I am making excuses for my behavior, but the mountain of self imposed stress became too much to bear. The high expectations. The self-imposed "world championship or bust" mindset. It came crashing down on me in a way that very few could fathom. The weight of the world was suffocating me to no end and I had to get out before it killed me.
Or so I thought.
They say hindsight is 20/20, and when I look back its easy to say I should have stayed. I should have worked through all the pressure and dumb**** that I brought upon myself. I probably would have achieved my goals by now. But no, I ran like a pussy and cost myself my reputation. My Hopes. My dreams. I brought it all on myself. I can see it now, but I couldn't then. I wish I had. I mean if someone like Kanyon become World Champion, I am sure I could have had a chance.
Maybe.
At this point, it doesn't really matter, does it? Those days are gone, and I can't get them back. I can't change the mistakes I made in the past. I can only learn from them, and make sure not to let them happen again in the future. Mistakes are a hard habit to break, but we all make them. I mean, Todd Williams made the mistake of signing his name on the dotted line with me this week. He made the mistake of coming back to begin with. All mistakes I have made in the past. But I am older and wiser for having made those mistakes.
Or at least I would like to think I am.
Hell, who knows? I guess only time will tell. So bring on your long-winded diatribes, Todd. Bring on the promos so long that NCW management will have to buy additional airtime to get them all on TV by the end of the week. Bring on the same old jokes, the same old line, and the same old cut downs. Be just like all the other slackers who have had nothing to say but the same things that have been said for years. Be the pathetic loser that you are, and just memorize word for word the latest Simon Daye promo and regurgitate it right back to me. That would be impressive I think. The problem with all that, Todd
Is that it won't get you a damn place with me.
You won't rattle my cage.
IT'S ALREADY BEEN RATTLED!
You won't ruffle my feathers.
THEY ALREADY ARE!
You won't get inside my head.
BECAUSE YOU AREN'T GAWD DAMN GOOD ENOUGH!
And you damn sure won't be able to come up with any original material.
BECAUSE IT'S JUST NOT YOUR STYLE!
So bring all the jokes and happy go lucky, warm belly feelings on, Todd. I could care less. You aren't worth my time. You aren't worth my effort. You aren't worth the t shirts your ugly face is printed on. But you are across the ring from me at Picture Perfect. You are my opponent regardless. And for that alone, you will pay the price, Todd. You will walk out there full of confidence and swagger, and you will limp out a beaten, broken man. Now, if you will excuse me, I have some things to get from storage.
(The scene fades to black.)
*BEEP*
*CRACKLE*
{Stupid Technology}
*BUZZ*
*SLAM*[/color]
{Why won't this stupid thing work?!}
*SLAM SLAM*
(Suddenly the picture comes in crisp and clear. You see movement in front of the camera, and then, in a chair sits Jimmy Zane/James Wolfe/Whatever you are calling him this week. He adjust his seat to get comfortable and clears his throat. He sits there in silence for a moment before beginning to talk.)
You know the last few weeks have been epically hard on me personally. Not because of whats happened in the ring, but because of whats happening outside of it. I have been verbally abused, ripped to shreds, beaten down and then some. My whole life has been dissected, and my career has as well. It's funny to think that I have had a **** load of gimmick changes throughout my time in NCW, but when you look back, its been quite a lot. Hell, I can't even begin to tell you how many times I have changed my gimmick. It's pretty sad I think. Trying to hard to be things I am not just to impress a bunch of pricks who couldn't care less. Actually, sad is rather a lighter term. I think a better word would be..
Downright PATHETIC!
Throughout my time here, I have tried to fit in where I could. I have tried to impress those who needed to be impressed. I have tried all of these things with the hopes that something would catch on. Something would be good enough for the fans, and for management. Sadly, none of it ever has. I tried the Joker gimmick, and of course, I was ripped to shreds about it being the latest movie craze, and it was just a ripoff. I tried the evil thing. Yeah, that worked for about a month until it got old, or people got bored. I don't remember which, but I am pretty sure it was a little of both. Then I left. Then I was supposed to be the "pale horse" but unfortunately circumstances beyond my control kept me from returning, but that would have undoubtedly failed.
Horribly!
I have tried so many ****ing gimmicks that I lost who I was. I lost who I was supposed to be. I got so lost, that I ended up at the bottom of a hole that I couldn't get out of. The more I changed my gimmick, the deeper the hole got. The deeper the hole got, the more I struggled. The more I struggled, the worse it got. And the cycle just kept on and on and on until I woke up one day and found myself in a hole so deep that I didn't think it was possible to ever get out. I mean sure, I am one half of the tag team champions. But Lex has picked up the majority of the wins. So I guess everyone is right, I am riding his coattails. I guess I am lucky in that respect. Hell, I should be rotting at the bottom of the curtain jerker squad. Just waiting for my next match, so I can walk out there, get my ass kicked, collect a paycheck and go home. That should be my life in NCW!
But somehow, it's not.
So I started examining why and how I got into this hole. Why I made so many changes in such a short time. And you know what I came up with? I have come to the conclusion that I did it so that the upper management would notice how hard I was working. I did it so that management would see that I was trying to find something that they liked. That they could support. And all I did was become the laughing stock of this company. The whipping boy. The butt of every joke. And the more I fought it, the worse it got. To be honest, I couldn't tell you how I became tag team champion. Or how I got teamed with Lex. Or any of it. But I can tell you that I get some frustrated sometimes with myself and this company that I can't remember who I am half the time.
I can't tell where whatever character I am playing this week ends, and the real me begins!
I have tried to include drama, suspense, humor, darkness, and every other aspect you can think of, in my promos. I have tried to appeal to mass audiences and try to become a household name. But again, it has failed miserably. So miserably in fact, that I have battled bouts of depression, alcoholism, drug addiction, and so many other things you never heard of before. Why? Because I couldn't personally cope with epic failure after epic failure. You never heard of it because I kept it quiet. I kept it on the down low. I am sure there were suspicions on the locker room. I am sure people had their notions that I was doing things I probably shouldn't have been, and I was. I was doing things that nobody should have been doing.
But I am still standing.
Only God knows why I am still in this business. Or why I continue to push each and every week. Trying to be the best in this business, because quite frankly, I never will be. Any chance of me becoming the best went out the window when I started making so many changes to my persona that even I forgot who I was. If I can't keep that **** straight, how can anyone else? The task became so ridiculous that even I tired of it. I grew tired of having to play someone different every week. And you know what the truly weird, sad, and insane thing is?
I am only that way here in NCW.
I left this company on bad terms. I lost the tag titles and I walked out. I couldn't have given a **** about those titles anymore than I gave a **** about anything. Everyone will tell you that when the going got tough, Jimmy Zane got going....out the door. Like I said, it's a running joke around here. Not that I am making excuses for my behavior, but the mountain of self imposed stress became too much to bear. The high expectations. The self-imposed "world championship or bust" mindset. It came crashing down on me in a way that very few could fathom. The weight of the world was suffocating me to no end and I had to get out before it killed me.
Or so I thought.
They say hindsight is 20/20, and when I look back its easy to say I should have stayed. I should have worked through all the pressure and dumb**** that I brought upon myself. I probably would have achieved my goals by now. But no, I ran like a pussy and cost myself my reputation. My Hopes. My dreams. I brought it all on myself. I can see it now, but I couldn't then. I wish I had. I mean if someone like Kanyon become World Champion, I am sure I could have had a chance.
Maybe.
At this point, it doesn't really matter, does it? Those days are gone, and I can't get them back. I can't change the mistakes I made in the past. I can only learn from them, and make sure not to let them happen again in the future. Mistakes are a hard habit to break, but we all make them. I mean, Todd Williams made the mistake of signing his name on the dotted line with me this week. He made the mistake of coming back to begin with. All mistakes I have made in the past. But I am older and wiser for having made those mistakes.
Or at least I would like to think I am.
Hell, who knows? I guess only time will tell. So bring on your long-winded diatribes, Todd. Bring on the promos so long that NCW management will have to buy additional airtime to get them all on TV by the end of the week. Bring on the same old jokes, the same old line, and the same old cut downs. Be just like all the other slackers who have had nothing to say but the same things that have been said for years. Be the pathetic loser that you are, and just memorize word for word the latest Simon Daye promo and regurgitate it right back to me. That would be impressive I think. The problem with all that, Todd
Is that it won't get you a damn place with me.
You won't rattle my cage.
IT'S ALREADY BEEN RATTLED!
You won't ruffle my feathers.
THEY ALREADY ARE!
You won't get inside my head.
BECAUSE YOU AREN'T GAWD DAMN GOOD ENOUGH!
And you damn sure won't be able to come up with any original material.
BECAUSE IT'S JUST NOT YOUR STYLE!
So bring all the jokes and happy go lucky, warm belly feelings on, Todd. I could care less. You aren't worth my time. You aren't worth my effort. You aren't worth the t shirts your ugly face is printed on. But you are across the ring from me at Picture Perfect. You are my opponent regardless. And for that alone, you will pay the price, Todd. You will walk out there full of confidence and swagger, and you will limp out a beaten, broken man. Now, if you will excuse me, I have some things to get from storage.
(The scene fades to black.)