Post by Rob Diamond on Jul 27, 2011 10:01:31 GMT -6
{ So there he was, Spike Kane, the rehabilitated druggie of xtreme... err, God of Xtreme, sitting on the couch of Diamond/Knite in the home of your favorite World Champion's... Rob and Zelda, numb-skull! So Spike is all sitting there surrounded by a mountain of empty chip bags and soda cans on the couch, x-box controller in his hand, headset over his ears as he yells at the screen. }
Spike: DAMMIT GRAFF! Stop getting in the ****ing way!
{ This "Graff" yammers something back to Spike. }
Spike: Look here dumb-ass, this is my team, not yours, so do what I say or GTFO!
{ Spike laughs at whatever "Graff's" retort was. }
Spike: Ok, whatever man, my kill ratio is way higher than yours.
{ Spike shakes his head as he slaughters another n00b on Halo when all of a sudden... }
*SLAM!*
{ Spike jumps off the couch as Rob Diamond comes storming in. }
Rob: FUGGER!
Spike: Hey man, brb.
{ Spike turns the game off as Rob does an angry Ric Flair like strut behind the couch. }
Spike: Dude, what's up?
{ Rob turns. }
Rob: THIS!
{ And tosses the contract at Spike. }
Spike: And what is "this"?
Rob: That old son of a whores "final offer"!!
{ Spike's eyes go wide as he briefly looks over the first page. }
Spike: Dude! You broke the old man, man, he's gonna give Zelda everything she wants. This is great news!
{ Rob stops his strutting and rips the contract out of Spike's hands. }
Rob: No, dumb-ass, it's not.
{ He flips it to the page with the oh so important stipulation and shoves it back into Spike's chest. }
Rob: Read.
{ Spike begins to scan the pages and gets to the stipulation and he begins to understand. }
Spike: That's pretty gay.
Rob: Yeah, tell me about it.
Spike: So what are you guys gonna do?
Rob: I don't know, I need to talk to Zee, is she back from her*expletive deleted* show?
Spike: No, I think she's working a house show for *expletive deleted* tonight.
Rob: Dammit... Should I call her or wait until she gets home?
Spike: Is this your second or third promo?
Rob: Second, why?
Spike: Then you should probably wait.
{ }
Rob: Alright...
{ Rob just stands there for a second looking at Spike, the two of them smiling because, well, you know... Then it starts to dawn on Rob... }
Rob: The **** did you do to my living room?
{ Shrugs. }
Spike: I'm the baby, gotta love me?
{ Anyone else miss "Dinosaurs"? }
Rob: Dude, not cool, no one quotes canceled nineties tv shows in my promo and gets away with it but me! On a completley unrelated note! You. Me. Basement. Now.
{ Spike looks nervously from side to side. }
Spike: What's in the basement?
{ Three... Two... One... The Rob smirks! }
**** you!
{ Wide shot on the city of Boston. }
"Let it begin."
{ Extreme close up to the smiling, partially masked face of the Dark Lord himself. }
"The beginning of the end for you, that is!"
{ MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! }
"Side kick!"
{ Enter Senior Xtremo. }
"Dude, not cool."
"Silence side kick! We have much work to do and apparently far too much time on our hands to do it!"
"Ok, so where do we begin o' master of evil?"
"We begin with my foe for this comping Sunday, the man who wishes to remove the WORLD! title FROM MY GRASP!"
"Fat chance."
"Precisely, but we must be prepared, it is the trade mark of an evil genius."
"I thought the trade mark of an evil genius was to reveal your master plan with just enough time for the hero to foil it?"
{ Glares. }
"Or not."
"I promise you, young on, there will be no foiling me this time. MANY HAVE TRIED! All have failed, even Lady Death herself could not remove me from this earthly plain."
{ Flashback to Lord Dominicus standing toe to toe with who appears to be Mercedes Lewis but painted all white and wearing a black leather bra and panties with a cape and a sword. }
Lady Death: You are coming with me Dominicus!
Lord Dominicus: NEVER!
{ Lord Dominicus swings his mighty hammer of Thor in a back fist maneuver and catches Lady Death in the side of the head, FALCON STYLE! She stumbles and raises her sword. }
Lady Death: NO ONE ESCAPES THE COLD TOUCH OF DEATH!
{ She swings and Dominicus blocks the blow then vamps out "True Blood" style and grabs her by the throat. }
Lord Dominicus: NOT EVEN DEATH HERSELF!
{ And he sinks in. BTW, did you ****ers watch the episode of "True Blood" featuring Rob Diamond yet? Well why the hell not? Get the hell off your computers and stream that ****, NOW! Back to Xtremo and his master. }
"Dude, you seriously killed death? Isn't that an oxymoron?"
"What'd you call me?"
{ Sighs. }
"Nothing."
"Look here side kick, I could stand here all day and tell you tales of my greatness. Take for instance all the times I schooled Trent Helms, alleged herald to Galactus, in light saber duels. Or that one really epic fight I had with Gib. Not to mention the time I defeated Chuck Norris."
"Bull****"
{ Lord Dominicus raises in his right hand the head of Chuck Norris. }
"Is it?"
Chuck Norris: It's not, he totally schooled me.
"Where'd he get that head from?"
"Fact is my dear side kick that there is a threat out there, and this threat is looking to take away from me all I have. I cannot allow that."
"So whats the plan?"
"The plan is most obvious..."
""
"We must take from Steve Awesome the one thing he may or may not possibly love more than the world title... Crystal Hilton must die."
{ Lord Dominicus throws his head back and cackles like a mad man as Senior Xtremo begins to rub his hands together with a menacing smile. }
"Yes, it makes sense now. CRYSTAL HILTON MUST DIE!"
{ The two super villains of mass destruction can hardly contain themselves as we scene swipe to somewhere in Boston. Todd Williams was playing a video game. }
Todd: I don't who the hell this Graff kid is, but goddam he's easy to kill.
{ Todd is owning him some Halo when he suddenly drops the controller. }
Todd: My "Crystal-Sense" is tingling...
{ Williams whips around in a circle and suddenly he's dressed in baggy black Southpole jeans, a black hoody and a pair of Tim's. He throws the hood up to mask his face. }
Todd: Black-Man to the rescue!
{ And runs out his hotel where he car jacks the first Benz he comes across... Scene swipe to Crystal Hilton trying on some clothes at a down town store in Boston, don't get all hot and heavy you pervs, she's mostly clothed! }
Crystal: Mirror Mirror on the wall... Which bra gives me a "B" cup?
{ She holds two in her hands and models a third. }
Lord Dominicus: I'd go with the black.
Senior Xtremo: Hell yeah.
{ She turns and spots the two super villains salivating over her. }
Crystal: PERVS!
{ Right? }
Lord Dominicus: You are coming with us Crystal. Now. Before Steve has a chance to declare his love to you.
Crystal: He loves me?
{ Sighs. }
Lord Dominicus: NO! I refuse to let this promo become some sappy attempt at sympathy!
{ Pszh! Lightsaber's baby. Xtremo's is red and Dominicus' green and apparently coming out of his Green Lantern ring. }
Lord Dominicus: You are coming with us.
Todd: OVER MY BLACK BODY!
Dominicus and Xtremo: BLACK-MAN???
Black-Man: That is correct and you two villains most foul will step away from the lovely...
{ He stops and stares at her half naked self. }
Crystal: Todd?? TODD!!
{ He snaps out of it. }
Black-Man: You will leave her alone this instant!
Lord Dominicus: Or what?
{ Black-Man whips out his own PURPLE LIGHTSABER WITH GOLD HILT! }
Lord Dominicus: I see.
Senior Xtremo: Psst... Dude... Uhhh... If we hit him isn't it a hate crime?
Lord Dominicus: Probably.
Senior Xtremo: Look uhhh... I should of mentioned this but uhhh... If I commit any more of those... Let's just I'm not going back to jail.
{ Xtremo removes his mask. }
Senior Xtremo: Sorry dude.
Lord Dominicus: TRAITOR!!!!
{ Xtremo is out. It's just Black-Man and Lord Dominicus now. }
Crystal: I can't believe TODD is here to duel for my honor.
Lord Dominicus: Yes, it is remarkable that he would arrive here first. I wonder what Steve is doing that is so important...
{ Cut to Steve Awesome sitting in that room where all his promos are shot. }
"Blah blah blah suicide blah blah blah goat blah blah blah i love crystal blah blah blah the same thing i said the last time i ****ed up a world title shot blah."
{ And back to the fight. }
Crystal: Figures...
Black-Man: Are you prepared to die this day Dominicus?
Lord Dominicus: The lady is coming with me.
Black-Man: No way Jose.
Lord Dominicus: Don't you ever... EVER insinuate that I am a Mexican.
{ Lord Dominucs lunges for Black-Man and their blades clash and crackle in the middle of the store. They both rear back and their blades connect once more. }
Lord Dominicus: You will not defeat me, I am the master of all that is evil and dark and I am the ruler of the world.
Black-Man: I totally beat you for the X title!
Lord Dominicus: LIES!
{ LD begins to rapidly strike at BM but BM counters and dodges all the attacks and manages to swing around the back of LD. The two of them leap on top of the dressing rooms and walk the narrow ridge while getting a great over head shot of some half naked ladies. Their blades continue to strike one another sending sparks flying all over. }
Lord Dominicus: GIVE UP!
Black-Man: NEVER!
{ LD throws a force lighting bolt at BM but BM throws out a twenty sided die and it turns up 13. }
Black-Man: HAH! I rolled the save, bitch!
Lord Dominicus: BLAST!
{ BM begins to push back and he drives LD to the edge of the dressing rooms. BM leaps into the air and spins looking to take LD's head but LD force grabs him and this time rolls a 20! }
Lord Dominicus: CRITICAL HIT!
{ And he sends BM soaring through the air and out the front window of the shop onto the street. LD leaps out after him, BM is on his knees now, looking up at LD as the dark lord approaches. }
Lord Dominicus: It is all over for you Black-Man. You have failed to protect your former woman from me, just like you failed against Steve. Now, with her in my grasp, Awesome will be NO MORE!
{ BM grins and tilts his head up. }
Lord Dominicus: Why the hell are you grinning?
Black-Man: Because you walked right into my trap.
{ BM opens his mouth and reveals the sickest grill this side of 50 Cent's private collection, the sun hits it just right and the light bounces off into Lord Dominicus' eyes. }
Lord Dominicus: THE LIGHT! I'm blind!
{ He drops to his knees as Black-Man leaps to his feet, scoops up Crystal and salutes Lord Dominicus. }
Black-Man: Your safe now ma'am.
Crystal: Todd...
{ This isn't a Crystal or Todd promo so if you want to hear whatever conversation may come out of this then go watch their promos. They soar away as Lord Dominicus stands up and smiles. }
"I win..."
{ He shifts his attention to us. }
"Now that Todd has proved his manliness to Crystal Hilton she will be lost to you forever..."
{ His smile gets that much brighter. }
"Come now Steve, you didn't really think I'd let you get off so easy, did you?"
{ Did you? }
"I saw what you were planning a mile away and while it seemed like a solid plan, breaking up with your girl friend just after a pay per view only to realize you really do love her the week before your big world title shot, it's not going to work this time. She was never yours to begin with Steve. You were but a play thing to her."
{ Probably. }
"Now all you have to worry about is me, the Dark Lord of nCw, the Master of Evil, the Lord of the Sith, the Suicidal Maniac who has beaten every major name to ever walk through those doors. LORD DOMINICUS! ROB MOTHER LOVING DIAMOND! Whatever you want to call me. It's just you and I now... unless you manage to somehow retcon everything that happened in this promo like DC comics are retconning their entire history come september.
{ Grins. }
"The two of us will do the dance one last time... Three times in a row... More than likely.... And by the end of the night only one of us can reign supreme as the ruler of all New Championship Wrestling."
{ Lord Dominicus brushes the dust off his shoulder, symbolically brushing off the threat that is Steve Awesome. }
"No worries brother, I'll still let you touch it after I beat you."
{ Nothing like being crotch chopped by a man in spandex. }
"Suck it."
{ Cut back to Rob and Spike sitting on the couch. Both of them now playing Halo. }
Rob: Dude, why the hell would you ever let this Graff loser on your team?
Spike: I don't know man, he joined, he seemed cool, but he keeps getting shot by whoever the hell Black-T is.
{ The door to the house opens as in walks the lovely Zelda Knite herself. Rob drops the controller and leaps over the couch. }
Zelda: Hey Rob, Spike.
Spike: Sup.
Rob: Zee!
{ She picks up the contract before Rob reaches her. }
Zelda: is this...
{ She begins to read through it. }
Rob: Wait, Zee, hold on!
{ She gets to the third page... }
Zelda: That old... Slimy... Dirty... Son of a bitch.
{ Fade. }
Spike: DAMMIT GRAFF! Stop getting in the ****ing way!
{ This "Graff" yammers something back to Spike. }
Spike: Look here dumb-ass, this is my team, not yours, so do what I say or GTFO!
{ Spike laughs at whatever "Graff's" retort was. }
Spike: Ok, whatever man, my kill ratio is way higher than yours.
{ Spike shakes his head as he slaughters another n00b on Halo when all of a sudden... }
*SLAM!*
{ Spike jumps off the couch as Rob Diamond comes storming in. }
Rob: FUGGER!
Spike: Hey man, brb.
{ Spike turns the game off as Rob does an angry Ric Flair like strut behind the couch. }
Spike: Dude, what's up?
{ Rob turns. }
Rob: THIS!
{ And tosses the contract at Spike. }
Spike: And what is "this"?
Rob: That old son of a whores "final offer"!!
{ Spike's eyes go wide as he briefly looks over the first page. }
Spike: Dude! You broke the old man, man, he's gonna give Zelda everything she wants. This is great news!
{ Rob stops his strutting and rips the contract out of Spike's hands. }
Rob: No, dumb-ass, it's not.
{ He flips it to the page with the oh so important stipulation and shoves it back into Spike's chest. }
Rob: Read.
{ Spike begins to scan the pages and gets to the stipulation and he begins to understand. }
Spike: That's pretty gay.
Rob: Yeah, tell me about it.
Spike: So what are you guys gonna do?
Rob: I don't know, I need to talk to Zee, is she back from her*expletive deleted* show?
Spike: No, I think she's working a house show for *expletive deleted* tonight.
Rob: Dammit... Should I call her or wait until she gets home?
Spike: Is this your second or third promo?
Rob: Second, why?
Spike: Then you should probably wait.
{ }
Rob: Alright...
{ Rob just stands there for a second looking at Spike, the two of them smiling because, well, you know... Then it starts to dawn on Rob... }
Rob: The **** did you do to my living room?
{ Shrugs. }
Spike: I'm the baby, gotta love me?
{ Anyone else miss "Dinosaurs"? }
Rob: Dude, not cool, no one quotes canceled nineties tv shows in my promo and gets away with it but me! On a completley unrelated note! You. Me. Basement. Now.
{ Spike looks nervously from side to side. }
Spike: What's in the basement?
{ Three... Two... One... The Rob smirks! }
Once upon a time in a galaxy far, far away....
LORD DOMINICUS
And the Critical Hit
Episode II
Once known as the mild mannered Rob Diamond, his life was soon to be altered when he was bitten by a radioactive asshole on a Jedi school trip to see the cosmic cube while being inducted into the Green Lantern Corp...
Now known as LORD DOMINICUS! RULER OF THE COSMOS! He has conquered all his foes, yet, he faces his biggest threat ever.
HIS BEST FRIEND!
Empowered with the awesome force of being... Awesome, Steve Awesome looks to dethrone the Dark Lord and send him back to his humble beginnings as just a run of the mill douche bag. So, once again partnered up with his side kick-
LORD DOMINICUS
And the Critical Hit
Episode II
Once known as the mild mannered Rob Diamond, his life was soon to be altered when he was bitten by a radioactive asshole on a Jedi school trip to see the cosmic cube while being inducted into the Green Lantern Corp...
Now known as LORD DOMINICUS! RULER OF THE COSMOS! He has conquered all his foes, yet, he faces his biggest threat ever.
HIS BEST FRIEND!
Empowered with the awesome force of being... Awesome, Steve Awesome looks to dethrone the Dark Lord and send him back to his humble beginnings as just a run of the mill douche bag. So, once again partnered up with his side kick-
**** you!
Senior Xtremo, Lord Dominicus begins a journey that could lead him to something more powerful and more unexpected than even he could imagine...
{ Wide shot on the city of Boston. }
"Let it begin."
{ Extreme close up to the smiling, partially masked face of the Dark Lord himself. }
"The beginning of the end for you, that is!"
{ MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! }
"Side kick!"
{ Enter Senior Xtremo. }
"Dude, not cool."
"Silence side kick! We have much work to do and apparently far too much time on our hands to do it!"
"Ok, so where do we begin o' master of evil?"
"We begin with my foe for this comping Sunday, the man who wishes to remove the WORLD! title FROM MY GRASP!"
"Fat chance."
"Precisely, but we must be prepared, it is the trade mark of an evil genius."
"I thought the trade mark of an evil genius was to reveal your master plan with just enough time for the hero to foil it?"
{ Glares. }
"Or not."
"I promise you, young on, there will be no foiling me this time. MANY HAVE TRIED! All have failed, even Lady Death herself could not remove me from this earthly plain."
{ Flashback to Lord Dominicus standing toe to toe with who appears to be Mercedes Lewis but painted all white and wearing a black leather bra and panties with a cape and a sword. }
Lady Death: You are coming with me Dominicus!
Lord Dominicus: NEVER!
{ Lord Dominicus swings his mighty hammer of Thor in a back fist maneuver and catches Lady Death in the side of the head, FALCON STYLE! She stumbles and raises her sword. }
Lady Death: NO ONE ESCAPES THE COLD TOUCH OF DEATH!
{ She swings and Dominicus blocks the blow then vamps out "True Blood" style and grabs her by the throat. }
Lord Dominicus: NOT EVEN DEATH HERSELF!
{ And he sinks in. BTW, did you ****ers watch the episode of "True Blood" featuring Rob Diamond yet? Well why the hell not? Get the hell off your computers and stream that ****, NOW! Back to Xtremo and his master. }
"Dude, you seriously killed death? Isn't that an oxymoron?"
"What'd you call me?"
{ Sighs. }
"Nothing."
"Look here side kick, I could stand here all day and tell you tales of my greatness. Take for instance all the times I schooled Trent Helms, alleged herald to Galactus, in light saber duels. Or that one really epic fight I had with Gib. Not to mention the time I defeated Chuck Norris."
"Bull****"
{ Lord Dominicus raises in his right hand the head of Chuck Norris. }
"Is it?"
Chuck Norris: It's not, he totally schooled me.
"Where'd he get that head from?"
"Fact is my dear side kick that there is a threat out there, and this threat is looking to take away from me all I have. I cannot allow that."
"So whats the plan?"
"The plan is most obvious..."
""
"We must take from Steve Awesome the one thing he may or may not possibly love more than the world title... Crystal Hilton must die."
{ Lord Dominicus throws his head back and cackles like a mad man as Senior Xtremo begins to rub his hands together with a menacing smile. }
"Yes, it makes sense now. CRYSTAL HILTON MUST DIE!"
{ The two super villains of mass destruction can hardly contain themselves as we scene swipe to somewhere in Boston. Todd Williams was playing a video game. }
Todd: I don't who the hell this Graff kid is, but goddam he's easy to kill.
{ Todd is owning him some Halo when he suddenly drops the controller. }
Todd: My "Crystal-Sense" is tingling...
{ Williams whips around in a circle and suddenly he's dressed in baggy black Southpole jeans, a black hoody and a pair of Tim's. He throws the hood up to mask his face. }
Todd: Black-Man to the rescue!
{ And runs out his hotel where he car jacks the first Benz he comes across... Scene swipe to Crystal Hilton trying on some clothes at a down town store in Boston, don't get all hot and heavy you pervs, she's mostly clothed! }
Crystal: Mirror Mirror on the wall... Which bra gives me a "B" cup?
{ She holds two in her hands and models a third. }
Lord Dominicus: I'd go with the black.
Senior Xtremo: Hell yeah.
{ She turns and spots the two super villains salivating over her. }
Crystal: PERVS!
{ Right? }
Lord Dominicus: You are coming with us Crystal. Now. Before Steve has a chance to declare his love to you.
Crystal: He loves me?
{ Sighs. }
Lord Dominicus: NO! I refuse to let this promo become some sappy attempt at sympathy!
{ Pszh! Lightsaber's baby. Xtremo's is red and Dominicus' green and apparently coming out of his Green Lantern ring. }
Lord Dominicus: You are coming with us.
Todd: OVER MY BLACK BODY!
Dominicus and Xtremo: BLACK-MAN???
Black-Man: That is correct and you two villains most foul will step away from the lovely...
{ He stops and stares at her half naked self. }
Crystal: Todd?? TODD!!
{ He snaps out of it. }
Black-Man: You will leave her alone this instant!
Lord Dominicus: Or what?
{ Black-Man whips out his own PURPLE LIGHTSABER WITH GOLD HILT! }
Lord Dominicus: I see.
Senior Xtremo: Psst... Dude... Uhhh... If we hit him isn't it a hate crime?
Lord Dominicus: Probably.
Senior Xtremo: Look uhhh... I should of mentioned this but uhhh... If I commit any more of those... Let's just I'm not going back to jail.
{ Xtremo removes his mask. }
Senior Xtremo: Sorry dude.
Lord Dominicus: TRAITOR!!!!
{ Xtremo is out. It's just Black-Man and Lord Dominicus now. }
Crystal: I can't believe TODD is here to duel for my honor.
Lord Dominicus: Yes, it is remarkable that he would arrive here first. I wonder what Steve is doing that is so important...
{ Cut to Steve Awesome sitting in that room where all his promos are shot. }
"Blah blah blah suicide blah blah blah goat blah blah blah i love crystal blah blah blah the same thing i said the last time i ****ed up a world title shot blah."
{ And back to the fight. }
Crystal: Figures...
Black-Man: Are you prepared to die this day Dominicus?
Lord Dominicus: The lady is coming with me.
Black-Man: No way Jose.
Lord Dominicus: Don't you ever... EVER insinuate that I am a Mexican.
{ Lord Dominucs lunges for Black-Man and their blades clash and crackle in the middle of the store. They both rear back and their blades connect once more. }
Lord Dominicus: You will not defeat me, I am the master of all that is evil and dark and I am the ruler of the world.
Black-Man: I totally beat you for the X title!
Lord Dominicus: LIES!
{ LD begins to rapidly strike at BM but BM counters and dodges all the attacks and manages to swing around the back of LD. The two of them leap on top of the dressing rooms and walk the narrow ridge while getting a great over head shot of some half naked ladies. Their blades continue to strike one another sending sparks flying all over. }
Lord Dominicus: GIVE UP!
Black-Man: NEVER!
{ LD throws a force lighting bolt at BM but BM throws out a twenty sided die and it turns up 13. }
Black-Man: HAH! I rolled the save, bitch!
Lord Dominicus: BLAST!
{ BM begins to push back and he drives LD to the edge of the dressing rooms. BM leaps into the air and spins looking to take LD's head but LD force grabs him and this time rolls a 20! }
Lord Dominicus: CRITICAL HIT!
{ And he sends BM soaring through the air and out the front window of the shop onto the street. LD leaps out after him, BM is on his knees now, looking up at LD as the dark lord approaches. }
Lord Dominicus: It is all over for you Black-Man. You have failed to protect your former woman from me, just like you failed against Steve. Now, with her in my grasp, Awesome will be NO MORE!
{ BM grins and tilts his head up. }
Lord Dominicus: Why the hell are you grinning?
Black-Man: Because you walked right into my trap.
{ BM opens his mouth and reveals the sickest grill this side of 50 Cent's private collection, the sun hits it just right and the light bounces off into Lord Dominicus' eyes. }
Lord Dominicus: THE LIGHT! I'm blind!
{ He drops to his knees as Black-Man leaps to his feet, scoops up Crystal and salutes Lord Dominicus. }
Black-Man: Your safe now ma'am.
Crystal: Todd...
{ This isn't a Crystal or Todd promo so if you want to hear whatever conversation may come out of this then go watch their promos. They soar away as Lord Dominicus stands up and smiles. }
"I win..."
{ He shifts his attention to us. }
"Now that Todd has proved his manliness to Crystal Hilton she will be lost to you forever..."
{ His smile gets that much brighter. }
"Come now Steve, you didn't really think I'd let you get off so easy, did you?"
{ Did you? }
"I saw what you were planning a mile away and while it seemed like a solid plan, breaking up with your girl friend just after a pay per view only to realize you really do love her the week before your big world title shot, it's not going to work this time. She was never yours to begin with Steve. You were but a play thing to her."
{ Probably. }
"Now all you have to worry about is me, the Dark Lord of nCw, the Master of Evil, the Lord of the Sith, the Suicidal Maniac who has beaten every major name to ever walk through those doors. LORD DOMINICUS! ROB MOTHER LOVING DIAMOND! Whatever you want to call me. It's just you and I now... unless you manage to somehow retcon everything that happened in this promo like DC comics are retconning their entire history come september.
{ Grins. }
"The two of us will do the dance one last time... Three times in a row... More than likely.... And by the end of the night only one of us can reign supreme as the ruler of all New Championship Wrestling."
{ Lord Dominicus brushes the dust off his shoulder, symbolically brushing off the threat that is Steve Awesome. }
"No worries brother, I'll still let you touch it after I beat you."
{ Nothing like being crotch chopped by a man in spandex. }
"Suck it."
{ Cut back to Rob and Spike sitting on the couch. Both of them now playing Halo. }
Rob: Dude, why the hell would you ever let this Graff loser on your team?
Spike: I don't know man, he joined, he seemed cool, but he keeps getting shot by whoever the hell Black-T is.
{ The door to the house opens as in walks the lovely Zelda Knite herself. Rob drops the controller and leaps over the couch. }
Zelda: Hey Rob, Spike.
Spike: Sup.
Rob: Zee!
{ She picks up the contract before Rob reaches her. }
Zelda: is this...
{ She begins to read through it. }
Rob: Wait, Zee, hold on!
{ She gets to the third page... }
Zelda: That old... Slimy... Dirty... Son of a bitch.
{ Fade. }