Post by Curtis D. Kanyon on Aug 24, 2011 22:50:14 GMT -6
*We open in on DDK standing around in his office. Wait...office?*
DDK: That's right, DDK is moving back up in the world! I've got an office.
Curtis: It's just a bathroom with a backdrop.
DDK: Shut uuuuup!
*A toilet flushes. Obsidian walks across the "set."
Obsidian: Sorry bro, it's going to smell a bit.
DDK: Damnit! I'm trying to do a bit here! Forget it!
*DDK starts ripping at the fake wall. He kicks the desk away, which turns out to be styrofoam. He picks up a potted plant and throws it against the wall.*
DDK: Here's the deal! I need to get Curtis out of me!
Curtis: I need you out of me!
DDK: Or at least...at the very least, let us live together in harmony!
Curtis: You never would.
DDK: Okay, you're right, but we both like violence, we can at least agree to beat up Seth and Jack together right? I mean, we can't lose to those two idiots.
Curtis: Yeah, I guess you're right. I wouldn't want my body to lose to those two, even if I'm not in control.
DDK: Here that boys! You're not just facing former world champ and tag team champion DDK, but also two time tag team champ and former Xtreme champ Curtis Kanyon! You two can't survive that! You can't hope to beat that. Sure, Seth has beaten world champs before, sure Jack is a huge beast of a man, sure they both have chops and could easily take advantage of any situation to win. But I have my mortal enemy, whom is myself, watching my back. This is win-win. This situation can't possibly go awry!
Curtis: Of course not..."buddy."
DDK: But you know, if I can't beat a big dork that can't seem to use plurals, and if I can't beat a little pipsqueek that thinks he can hang with me every day of the week, well then I just don't know what I would do with myself! I'd...I'd go...
Curtis: ...crazy?
DDK: Hell yeah! But you see, I'm the best wrestler in the world, so I don't think it's too much of a problem to worry about. But then again, I never thought Lance Ryan would walk again, and I was proven wrong. So I'll be the first to admit that, I could be wrong some times. So if I lose, I lose. But if I win, well then I'm on the right track. The right path as it were! The best way to go to...
*DDK leans into the camera and whispers.*
DDK: Find a way to get rid of Curtis.
Curtis: What was that?
DDK: I said find a way to win the world title again. Because obviously, the best way to the belt is to beat two guys in the opening match of the show before the show.
Curtis: Oh...yeah that makes sense. Well, I will be there to support you my friend.
*Curtis leans into the camera.*
Curtis: Also to find a way to get rid of DDK, that son of a bitch.
DDK: What?
Curtis: I said good plan!
DDK: Thanks!
Curtis: Dumbass
DDK: Retard
*DDK walks away as the scene fades out.*
DDK: That's right, DDK is moving back up in the world! I've got an office.
Curtis: It's just a bathroom with a backdrop.
DDK: Shut uuuuup!
*A toilet flushes. Obsidian walks across the "set."
Obsidian: Sorry bro, it's going to smell a bit.
DDK: Damnit! I'm trying to do a bit here! Forget it!
*DDK starts ripping at the fake wall. He kicks the desk away, which turns out to be styrofoam. He picks up a potted plant and throws it against the wall.*
DDK: Here's the deal! I need to get Curtis out of me!
Curtis: I need you out of me!
DDK: Or at least...at the very least, let us live together in harmony!
Curtis: You never would.
DDK: Okay, you're right, but we both like violence, we can at least agree to beat up Seth and Jack together right? I mean, we can't lose to those two idiots.
Curtis: Yeah, I guess you're right. I wouldn't want my body to lose to those two, even if I'm not in control.
DDK: Here that boys! You're not just facing former world champ and tag team champion DDK, but also two time tag team champ and former Xtreme champ Curtis Kanyon! You two can't survive that! You can't hope to beat that. Sure, Seth has beaten world champs before, sure Jack is a huge beast of a man, sure they both have chops and could easily take advantage of any situation to win. But I have my mortal enemy, whom is myself, watching my back. This is win-win. This situation can't possibly go awry!
Curtis: Of course not..."buddy."
DDK: But you know, if I can't beat a big dork that can't seem to use plurals, and if I can't beat a little pipsqueek that thinks he can hang with me every day of the week, well then I just don't know what I would do with myself! I'd...I'd go...
Curtis: ...crazy?
DDK: Hell yeah! But you see, I'm the best wrestler in the world, so I don't think it's too much of a problem to worry about. But then again, I never thought Lance Ryan would walk again, and I was proven wrong. So I'll be the first to admit that, I could be wrong some times. So if I lose, I lose. But if I win, well then I'm on the right track. The right path as it were! The best way to go to...
*DDK leans into the camera and whispers.*
DDK: Find a way to get rid of Curtis.
Curtis: What was that?
DDK: I said find a way to win the world title again. Because obviously, the best way to the belt is to beat two guys in the opening match of the show before the show.
Curtis: Oh...yeah that makes sense. Well, I will be there to support you my friend.
*Curtis leans into the camera.*
Curtis: Also to find a way to get rid of DDK, that son of a bitch.
DDK: What?
Curtis: I said good plan!
DDK: Thanks!
Curtis: Dumbass
DDK: Retard
*DDK walks away as the scene fades out.*