Post by Caleb Lockwood on Aug 26, 2011 3:07:12 GMT -6
www.newchampionshipwrestling.com/blogs/caleb-lockwood/vlog-know-this-x.html
Know This X
August 26, 2011
NOTE FROM CALEB: Hey guys, sorry about the brevity this week. I'd have said more, but not only am I sleep-deprived, but my video camera has decided that now is the right time to become ridiculously finicky. Oh, and on another note, somebody tell Jimmy Zane that that much ice cream CANNOT be good for your health...or your digestion. Enjoy the show, folks, and don't forget to leave feedback in the comments section below.
The video opens on me standing before an Off The Wall Productions banner (catchy, isn't it?) Once again, I manage a grin on my face, even though I feel like tearing my hair out. Once again, I don't take the fall in a multi-man match and I don't get booked next week. I'm nothing but thankful, but...
“Hey there nCw faithful. For those of you who've been wondering where I was last week, apparently the contract I signed stipulated that I only perform every other week. I mean, that's the only explanation for me only getting booked every other week, right? Right? I mean, you've got to put yourself in nCw management's collective Armani shoes. They've got a dynamic new talent, one that gets the crowd going like gangbusters every time he comes out and wrestles...why WOULDN'T you book him as much as you could? That's the only thing that makes sense to me, anyway...enough of that little rant at management...”
I make a phone signal with my hand and mouth “Hey Nikki, call me!”, smirking before settling back into a marginally more professional stance and trying to continue on with my promo.
“Moving on to my match—my first on pay-per-view, which is...I mean, holy ****. There are people who go entire CAREERS without making it onto a pay-per-view. I'm getting to compete against a guy that is a former X-Division and National Champion, for a shot at the X Title. That belt...No Limits, No Holding Back...that whole concept is a great metaphor for my career as a whole. I don't hold back. There are no limits for me. What you see is a whole lot less than what you get...Freakke, I'm not sure what I see with you.”
I'm not kidding, folks. See? I've got the serious face on. Srs face = Caleb is not kidding. And you don't want to mess with SRS Lockwood. That's like...I dunno, being a cameraman around DDK: hazardous to your health and a poor career choice.
“What are you? A clown? A psychopath? See, I don't understand you, Freakke...you seem to think this is a game. You think you can waltz in and out of here willy-nilly, acting one way the first week and completely different the next. This isn't that sort of place, Freakke. nCw demands more than that sort of lackadaisical half-commitment. This is the biggest company in the world, with the highest standards. In the few short months I've been part of the roster, that's something I've noticed: the competition here...they MAKE you step it up, whether you like it or not.”
Still serious. What can I say? I just...effing hate clowns. Have for a long time. I blame It, ICP and a bad experience at the Shrine Circus.'course, goofballs like this don't help matters either.
“See, Freakke...I love nCw. I love this business. Professional wrestling is the only thing that's kept me going all these years. Through the dirt and muck and grime and general hopelessness, it was my beacon in the dark. I've done everything and been everywhere, just trying to keep myself alive. I was the king of Oakland. And when I finally got hired here, when I got my dream job—because, even though some people bitch and moan and hold out for money, this IS a dream come true—I promised myself I'd push myself to levels I'd never even thought of before. And at the end of the day...I have.”
Okay, time to drop SRS Caleb and get back to the acrobatic charmer that the people know and love in three...two...boom! Back to happiness, and nobody the wiser. To quote Jayson “Perpetual Sugar Rush” Matthews, kaplow bitches!
“Because nothing makes you go harder than being put up against world-class athletes like Phil Burns and Curtis Kanyon. No more wrestling 400-pound slobs whose wrestling ability is limited to hitting things with chairs and sloppy body avalanches. Freakke, if you think you can coast by on name recognition and image alone, you're about to have a rude awakening courtesy of the Master of Gravity. You want to stumble around, acting like a third-rate Vertigo Dirtmurder ripoff? I've beaten you once, man. I can beat you again. So in Madison Square Garden, the MECCA of this business...in front of an audience of tens of thousands...Freakke, prepare to have all your pretensions stripped away again. Don't blink. You might miss something important.”
I grin, tossing a salute at the camera before bolting out of shot. Fade to le black.
Know This X
August 26, 2011
NOTE FROM CALEB: Hey guys, sorry about the brevity this week. I'd have said more, but not only am I sleep-deprived, but my video camera has decided that now is the right time to become ridiculously finicky. Oh, and on another note, somebody tell Jimmy Zane that that much ice cream CANNOT be good for your health...or your digestion. Enjoy the show, folks, and don't forget to leave feedback in the comments section below.
The video opens on me standing before an Off The Wall Productions banner (catchy, isn't it?) Once again, I manage a grin on my face, even though I feel like tearing my hair out. Once again, I don't take the fall in a multi-man match and I don't get booked next week. I'm nothing but thankful, but...
“Hey there nCw faithful. For those of you who've been wondering where I was last week, apparently the contract I signed stipulated that I only perform every other week. I mean, that's the only explanation for me only getting booked every other week, right? Right? I mean, you've got to put yourself in nCw management's collective Armani shoes. They've got a dynamic new talent, one that gets the crowd going like gangbusters every time he comes out and wrestles...why WOULDN'T you book him as much as you could? That's the only thing that makes sense to me, anyway...enough of that little rant at management...”
I make a phone signal with my hand and mouth “Hey Nikki, call me!”, smirking before settling back into a marginally more professional stance and trying to continue on with my promo.
“Moving on to my match—my first on pay-per-view, which is...I mean, holy ****. There are people who go entire CAREERS without making it onto a pay-per-view. I'm getting to compete against a guy that is a former X-Division and National Champion, for a shot at the X Title. That belt...No Limits, No Holding Back...that whole concept is a great metaphor for my career as a whole. I don't hold back. There are no limits for me. What you see is a whole lot less than what you get...Freakke, I'm not sure what I see with you.”
I'm not kidding, folks. See? I've got the serious face on. Srs face = Caleb is not kidding. And you don't want to mess with SRS Lockwood. That's like...I dunno, being a cameraman around DDK: hazardous to your health and a poor career choice.
“What are you? A clown? A psychopath? See, I don't understand you, Freakke...you seem to think this is a game. You think you can waltz in and out of here willy-nilly, acting one way the first week and completely different the next. This isn't that sort of place, Freakke. nCw demands more than that sort of lackadaisical half-commitment. This is the biggest company in the world, with the highest standards. In the few short months I've been part of the roster, that's something I've noticed: the competition here...they MAKE you step it up, whether you like it or not.”
Still serious. What can I say? I just...effing hate clowns. Have for a long time. I blame It, ICP and a bad experience at the Shrine Circus.'course, goofballs like this don't help matters either.
“See, Freakke...I love nCw. I love this business. Professional wrestling is the only thing that's kept me going all these years. Through the dirt and muck and grime and general hopelessness, it was my beacon in the dark. I've done everything and been everywhere, just trying to keep myself alive. I was the king of Oakland. And when I finally got hired here, when I got my dream job—because, even though some people bitch and moan and hold out for money, this IS a dream come true—I promised myself I'd push myself to levels I'd never even thought of before. And at the end of the day...I have.”
Okay, time to drop SRS Caleb and get back to the acrobatic charmer that the people know and love in three...two...boom! Back to happiness, and nobody the wiser. To quote Jayson “Perpetual Sugar Rush” Matthews, kaplow bitches!
“Because nothing makes you go harder than being put up against world-class athletes like Phil Burns and Curtis Kanyon. No more wrestling 400-pound slobs whose wrestling ability is limited to hitting things with chairs and sloppy body avalanches. Freakke, if you think you can coast by on name recognition and image alone, you're about to have a rude awakening courtesy of the Master of Gravity. You want to stumble around, acting like a third-rate Vertigo Dirtmurder ripoff? I've beaten you once, man. I can beat you again. So in Madison Square Garden, the MECCA of this business...in front of an audience of tens of thousands...Freakke, prepare to have all your pretensions stripped away again. Don't blink. You might miss something important.”
I grin, tossing a salute at the camera before bolting out of shot. Fade to le black.