Post by Curtis D. Kanyon on Aug 26, 2011 22:33:30 GMT -6
*We open on DDK sitting in the "Knitely Bangs locker room, presented by Burger King. He sits at his table, eating his whopper.*
DDK: This whopper is so delicious! I love me some Burger King!
Curtis: Wendy's is better.
DDK: No they're not! You're so silly! Ah ha ha ha...ha...ha...
*DDK looks around. Then he goes back to eating his whopper. Adam Knite walks into the room.*
Adam: Hey DDK, how are things.
DDK: Fantastic! Curtis and I are on a truce, just long enough to destroy Seth and Jack in this triple threat.
Adam: How did you pull that off?
DDK: We realized that losing to those two rubes would do neither of us a favor.
Curtis: Plus it get's me a chance to get closer to finding out and ending whatever DDK is sticking around for.
Adam: What?
DDK: What?
Adam: I guess it's nothing.
DDK: How's the injuries healing?
Adam: Doing pretty good. Things are feeling better. Should be back soon.
DDK: Can't wait until my bestie comes back and we can reak havoc together again!
Curtis: Hmmm.
Adam: All in due time pal. Just enjoying the time with Rileigh for now.
DDK: Yeah, they grow up so fast.
Adam: I just came by to get some things and then go find Kelly.
DDK: Cool.
*Adam goes to his bag and grabs a few things.*
Adam: I'll be out of your hair and let you get back to the camera.
DDK: The camera is here...*DDK looks at the camera.*...I mean, I knew that.
Adam: Later buddy.
DDK: Have fun.
*Adam leaves.*
DDK: Such a great guy. Don't know what I'd do with out him.
Curtis: ...interesting...
DDK: What? Oh right, the camera. Listen here viewers at home, I plan to go out there and fight in a match you'll never see, and probably just read about online, then maybe watch when the PPV comes out on DVD, maybe. But I can tell you with one-hundred and ten percent confidence that it will be the best triple threat match you never watched! Because Seth Evans is an athletic son of a bitch. Jackhammer is a tough as nails Chi-town terror. I can't deny that. Then when you throw good old crazy ass DDK into the mix, who's the baller of all wrestlers, the best of all entertainers, the top dawg! It's going to be explosive!
*DDK chuckles as he looks off to the camera.*
DDK: Now I suppose I should focus on bashing my opponents after building them up so well. Because despite their gifts, I've got all that and more. That's what makes me a king of wrestling. That's what makes me the best in the world. I've proved that time and again. And I'm glad Seth respects me more that his "master." Which you know what? Before I get to Seth, let me say a little something to AJ. AJ wants to say I didn't deserve to be a world champion. Well AJ, from one former NCW world champ to another, you can...oh, wait, I'm sorry, you're not a former NCW world champion, so nevermind. You're not worth hearing my advice.
*DDK laughs.*
DDK: Oh, I hope that burns him good. So Seth, as for you, I can make the gay jokes about you and AJ, too easy. I can make the small guy jokes, but it helps you move pretty fast. So I guess, all I can really say is, what is wrong with you? You've been in this business for years! What are you doing lowering yourself and getting a "mentor" You don't need that crap! I mean, sure, you're not on my level, but who can be? I understand you try to aspire to my heights in this business, but you don't need a phoenix to get you closer. Is your self-esteem that low? Or do you just like being someone's bitch? Honestly, what's the deal? But to each their own I suppose. I'm not going to do you any favors. I'm not going to let you show what you can do on your own. I'm going to beat you every chance I get, because let's face it, you may be harder to hit, but get enough good hits in, you'll go down faster than that tree of a man Jackhammer. And speaking of!
*DDK strokes his chin.*
DDK: Jack, Jack, Jack. Just Jack! Mr. Hammer if you will. Any relation to M.C.? Because Seth is right, you're crazy. Just as crazy as M.C.! Do you have magic shoes that help you gain power? Ah, I'm sorry, M.C. Hammer cartoon references might be stretching it too far. I mean, he's lucky anyone remembers him at this point. And you Jack, you're kind of the same way. I remember you being in NCW, then not being in NCW, but I don't remember when you left. And honestly, I have no clue when you came back. You're a beast of a man, as I've stated, but you're not...well...don't take this personally, but you're not interesting. You don't stand out, unless we had "who's the tallest" competitions. I mean, I have to climb a ladder to give you a headlock! That's a huge advantage and you ain't done jack? I will beat some sense into you boy. I will try to beat it into you so hard, that if it knocks you out of the business all together, I will be just as happy with that. You're already senile anyway, so it can't hurt, emotionally. Physically it will hurt, like a lot. I know I can take Seth out with a few hard hits, but some times chopping a tree down is just more fun, and you're a hell of a tree. I may just tear you down bit by bit and really deconstruct you. That sounds like fun.
*DDK rubs his hands and licks his chops.*
DDK: Sounds like this Sunday will be a blast. But as I stated before, Curt and I are not going to argue in the old noggin here and lose this match. Curt and I are on the same page now. We will be even more of a threat, and you two have no chance in hell against us!
Curtis: You know it! This match will be...interesting.
DDK: Very...interesting...
*DDK gets an evil grin on his face...or is it Curtis? [Cue dramatic music]*
DDK: This whopper is so delicious! I love me some Burger King!
Curtis: Wendy's is better.
DDK: No they're not! You're so silly! Ah ha ha ha...ha...ha...
*DDK looks around. Then he goes back to eating his whopper. Adam Knite walks into the room.*
Adam: Hey DDK, how are things.
DDK: Fantastic! Curtis and I are on a truce, just long enough to destroy Seth and Jack in this triple threat.
Adam: How did you pull that off?
DDK: We realized that losing to those two rubes would do neither of us a favor.
Curtis: Plus it get's me a chance to get closer to finding out and ending whatever DDK is sticking around for.
Adam: What?
DDK: What?
Adam: I guess it's nothing.
DDK: How's the injuries healing?
Adam: Doing pretty good. Things are feeling better. Should be back soon.
DDK: Can't wait until my bestie comes back and we can reak havoc together again!
Curtis: Hmmm.
Adam: All in due time pal. Just enjoying the time with Rileigh for now.
DDK: Yeah, they grow up so fast.
Adam: I just came by to get some things and then go find Kelly.
DDK: Cool.
*Adam goes to his bag and grabs a few things.*
Adam: I'll be out of your hair and let you get back to the camera.
DDK: The camera is here...*DDK looks at the camera.*...I mean, I knew that.
Adam: Later buddy.
DDK: Have fun.
*Adam leaves.*
DDK: Such a great guy. Don't know what I'd do with out him.
Curtis: ...interesting...
DDK: What? Oh right, the camera. Listen here viewers at home, I plan to go out there and fight in a match you'll never see, and probably just read about online, then maybe watch when the PPV comes out on DVD, maybe. But I can tell you with one-hundred and ten percent confidence that it will be the best triple threat match you never watched! Because Seth Evans is an athletic son of a bitch. Jackhammer is a tough as nails Chi-town terror. I can't deny that. Then when you throw good old crazy ass DDK into the mix, who's the baller of all wrestlers, the best of all entertainers, the top dawg! It's going to be explosive!
*DDK chuckles as he looks off to the camera.*
DDK: Now I suppose I should focus on bashing my opponents after building them up so well. Because despite their gifts, I've got all that and more. That's what makes me a king of wrestling. That's what makes me the best in the world. I've proved that time and again. And I'm glad Seth respects me more that his "master." Which you know what? Before I get to Seth, let me say a little something to AJ. AJ wants to say I didn't deserve to be a world champion. Well AJ, from one former NCW world champ to another, you can...oh, wait, I'm sorry, you're not a former NCW world champion, so nevermind. You're not worth hearing my advice.
*DDK laughs.*
DDK: Oh, I hope that burns him good. So Seth, as for you, I can make the gay jokes about you and AJ, too easy. I can make the small guy jokes, but it helps you move pretty fast. So I guess, all I can really say is, what is wrong with you? You've been in this business for years! What are you doing lowering yourself and getting a "mentor" You don't need that crap! I mean, sure, you're not on my level, but who can be? I understand you try to aspire to my heights in this business, but you don't need a phoenix to get you closer. Is your self-esteem that low? Or do you just like being someone's bitch? Honestly, what's the deal? But to each their own I suppose. I'm not going to do you any favors. I'm not going to let you show what you can do on your own. I'm going to beat you every chance I get, because let's face it, you may be harder to hit, but get enough good hits in, you'll go down faster than that tree of a man Jackhammer. And speaking of!
*DDK strokes his chin.*
DDK: Jack, Jack, Jack. Just Jack! Mr. Hammer if you will. Any relation to M.C.? Because Seth is right, you're crazy. Just as crazy as M.C.! Do you have magic shoes that help you gain power? Ah, I'm sorry, M.C. Hammer cartoon references might be stretching it too far. I mean, he's lucky anyone remembers him at this point. And you Jack, you're kind of the same way. I remember you being in NCW, then not being in NCW, but I don't remember when you left. And honestly, I have no clue when you came back. You're a beast of a man, as I've stated, but you're not...well...don't take this personally, but you're not interesting. You don't stand out, unless we had "who's the tallest" competitions. I mean, I have to climb a ladder to give you a headlock! That's a huge advantage and you ain't done jack? I will beat some sense into you boy. I will try to beat it into you so hard, that if it knocks you out of the business all together, I will be just as happy with that. You're already senile anyway, so it can't hurt, emotionally. Physically it will hurt, like a lot. I know I can take Seth out with a few hard hits, but some times chopping a tree down is just more fun, and you're a hell of a tree. I may just tear you down bit by bit and really deconstruct you. That sounds like fun.
*DDK rubs his hands and licks his chops.*
DDK: Sounds like this Sunday will be a blast. But as I stated before, Curt and I are not going to argue in the old noggin here and lose this match. Curt and I are on the same page now. We will be even more of a threat, and you two have no chance in hell against us!
Curtis: You know it! This match will be...interesting.
DDK: Very...interesting...
*DDK gets an evil grin on his face...or is it Curtis? [Cue dramatic music]*