Post by Zelda Knite on Sept 15, 2011 17:21:45 GMT -6
That's right fans... I'm back and I'm rolling the Knitelife this week! Kelly is busy training for her new career as a professional wrestler, but have no fear I'm here to help out. It's not like I have anything better to do now that Rob kicked me out... anyway... just like last time it will be her and not I who will be making these predictions later, but until then it's all me.. and I've only done this once before and it led to a huge twitter war, so I'm going to try to keep this short and sweet while keeping you entertained and talking about video games. I love me some video games.
So I watched the shows this week, one because Lex Sense was on the show and I wanted to see
him get the crap kicked out of him by I'M TODD WILLIAMS because he's a smelly douche like that, and also because it was Kelly's first match on Collision, so I had to watch that. Anyway, things were pretty good this week I thought. A lot of exciting revelations and tons of action from start to finish. I'll tell you one thing that's getting interesting, is that Aly Gardner and Shelly feud, but Shelly is always being mean to me for dating her brother, so I hope my friend kicks her butt.
You know what was really cool though? Uncle Trent douchebagging Dave Holland over. That was so funny, he thought he could fool everybody but Trent was way too smart for him. Don't try that crap again Mr. Holland, ha ha. Uncle Trent deserves to be in the hall of fame, even if he does make a lot of mean comments towards me, I know it's just because he's jealous of how I became a more popular star than him so fast. I would be jealous too, don't blame him too much guys.
So speaking of him, he lost last week's poll by a lot to Kelly's brother. I gotta say I hate that Wes guy, he's a jerk, and has always been one and he even hit on me once at a New Years Eve party! It was disgusting. I'm glad he won that poll. This week we're going to Zelda up this poll some, just like last time. What Video game are you most looking forward to seeing come out (as of the date I posted this)? A lot of good choices there guys, enjoy.
RECAP AND REVIEW
//WHAT I LIKED//
The Return of the Bird's Nest rollup! The most dangerous and deadly move ever introduced to wrestling! Falcon's roll up has been known to dislocate hopes and dreams from the helpless victim, fear the rollup.
Gjenrei beating Joe Everyman, it's always fun watching that n00blet lose.
My man Rob totally upstaging those jerks “Young Bloods” speaking of which... what is up with that stupid name, it's so dumb it's like they just picked the worst name they could think of that still had “young” in the title.
//WHAT I DIDN'T//
Kanyon spearing Kelly... What the heck!? Kelly was looking good in her first match trying a new wrestling style and I wanted to see how she did, but now thanks to that moron, I'll have to wait until this week.
Emma Danielson and Tara Fenix... really, those are the two wrestlers who were supposed to follow up on my legacy? Please, those two put up a heck of a fight but that's why they aren't me, they don't know how to finish a match.
Stephanie losing to Roxxxie... double really!? This is the woman who chased me for months wanting a rematch from back in an old fed, and almost beat me to death in an intense ladder match spun from that, and she loses to Roxxxie?! Oh come on.
THE FAB FIVE
5. FALCON: Hey, he beat the man going for the world title soon and did it in his signature style.
4. AMY MARSHALL: I can't believe Stephanie laid an egg against her, but Rox totally earned that hard fought win.
3. ROBERTO VERONA: Jimmy Zane was winning a lot I hear, but Verona put an end to that.
2. MERCEDES VARGAS: For beating stupid freaking Mercedes who keeps trying to say that she looks like me and calls herself my aunt. She is such a goomba! Thank you Varg.
1. TODD WILLIAMS: He's TODD WILLIAMS and he's looking good with his third repackage in three months as the Measuring Stick.
PREDICTIONS
LAST WEEK'S RECORD: 11-6
OVERALL RECORD: 314-104
Oh, Kelly didn't do too bad there, but I still say it's a bit unfair she freakin picks her matches and then wrestles in them, how should that count!? Well thinking about it, I guess if she loses she has nobody to blame but herself and since she'll never vote that she's going to lose a match... it does kinda hinder her right? Meh, who cares?
TRAUMA
Tag Team Match
Kelly Knite and Megan Kane vs. Opportunity
Singles Match
Mike Jackson vs. Freakke
Singles Match
Mike Lazlo vs. Caleb Lockwood
Tag Team Match
PoP vs. Mercedes Lewis and STJ
Main Event
Singles Match
Ayla St. James vs. Tara Fenix
COLLISION WEB SHOW
Curtis Kanyon vs. Mark Evil
The Ace vs. Jonas Potter
COLLISION
Singles Match
Christian Gardner vs. Adam Knite
Singles Match
Venom vs. KLB
Elite X
Jason Evans vs. Ander Carvetti
Tag Team Match
Aly Gardner and Alex Jones vs. Todd Williams and Crystal Hilton
Singles Match
Brad Kane w/ Spike vs. El Dragon de Valor w/ Bushido
Tag Team Match
Devastation Inc.
Xander Famularo and Gjenrei vs. Devastation Inc.
Singles Match
Roberto Verona vs. Joe Everyman
Main Event
Battle Royal
1RP per person
Steve Aweosme, Rob Diamond, Andrew Jacobsen, Lex Sense, Jimmy Zane, Ricky Johnson
IN CLOSING
Isn't it so awesome that Aly picked up where I left off with the World title? EMF all day, all your base belong to us.
Lex Sense sucks butt.
When did Crystal make a new tag team.. and with Shelly!? Shelly hates me and Crystal is teaming with her!? Some friend she freaking is.
Kelly and Megan teaming together!? Well one good thing is you can say they've shown good chemistry together in the past. -wink,wink-
When did Venom get back? Does he still carry around my autograph with him everywhere he goes?
So finally, let me just end by saying this... GEARS OF WAR 3!!!!!!!!
It's getting so close guys! I can't wait! I'm going to play it all freaking day, it's going to be great guys. Remember the last game I told you about when I hosted this column, 3D Dot Game Heroes, well the follow up is that it was freaking awesome and one of my favorite games of that year. Gears of War 3 is going to blow that out of the water... ORDER IT!
Well thanks for letting me do this, Kelly and you fans, It's been my honor, Until next time...
ZELDA