Post by Jimmy Zane on Sept 19, 2011 9:56:42 GMT -6
WOW!
I wake up this morning in a fairly good mood. Well, kind of. I sit down to check some email and check out my fantasy football scores and the first thing that pops up is an Alex Jones promo. So I sit there, trying to take it all in. I am barely awake, mind you, and I hear my name over and over and over again. And the only thing running through my mind....
IS WOW!
First of all, how did such a vulgar, foul-mouthed piece of trash like Alex Jones get that promo past the NCW Censors? I mean, seriously, dude. I drop a cuss word here and there. An occasional F-Bomb. But Jeezus, you take it to a whole new level in that promo, bro. And at the risk of sounding like a complete hypocrite for a moment.
CALM THE **** DOWN!
Man, now I know exactly what everyone was thinking about me a couple of years back. I couldn't see the forest for the trees back then, and honestly, from deep down in my heart..
I am truly sorry.
I am sorry that I subjected everyone to that kind of ignorance and stupidity. I know that I have never went off on that type of foul-mouthed tangent before, but I am sure I have done the temper tantrum on more than a few occasions. This guy hasn't just pushed the envelope, he burned it to the ground! Not that it's any conseqence to me, because as he pointed out, I am in the main event at Battlegrounds...and he..
well....isn't!
So, Alex, I have to ask you. How does it feel to get surpassed on the depth chart? How does it feel to get passed up by someone you think is beneath you in both ability and pecking order in this company? Sucks, doesn't it? Really gets your gode! Pisses you off a bit, does it? It has you so twisted up inside that you can barely even focus on YOUR match this week because you are so worried what everyone else is doing. All I can say to that is..
Welcome to my world!
So really, all I got to say to you, Alex, is the same thing that everyone was saying to me two years ago. Shut up! Please. You and Roberto Verona run your mouths, and talk, talk, talk more than any other people in this company combined. It's all talk. So, quit running your mouth about **** you got nothing to do with and focus on your own ****. I would hate for your hope for the World Title to get flushed away by getting beat by Verona or Gardner on Sunday night. They don't tend to want losers in the World Title picture. Then again, that could by why you haven't gotten a shot yet.
Just sayin.
(The scene fades into the first ever InZane-O-Sense Ice Cream Social with Awesomesauce at the Radison Hotel. The hustle and bustle of people in the room chatting, laughing, joking and making some great sundaes complete with some wonderful dairy deliciousness....
Provided by Ben & Jerry's
Inside we see the hosts of the event standing together, chatting. The NCW Tag Team Champions, Jimmy Zane and Lex Sense and the current NCW World Champion, Steve Awesome.)
This is quite a turnout! I am glad I had this idea!
Lex Sense: Don't you mean "We"?
Steve Awesome: Yeah, "We"!
(Lex and Jimmy both look at Steve like he has lost his mind.)
Dude, you weren't even there when we had the idea. You just love ice cream. Besides the new "Face of the Freezer" flavor is a big hit. I never knew that ice cream full of nuts could be so popular.
(Everyone pauses for a moment before bursting into laughter.)
But seriously guys, this match at Battlegrounds has me all twisted up inside.
Lex Sense: How so?
I mean, on one hand, I don't want to let these tag titles go! We Have been tag champions for almost three months with several successful tag title defenses, and I want those good times to keep rolling.
Lex Sense: But?
But I can't tell you how bad I DON'T want that toolbag Ricky Johnson to be the World Heavyweight champion!
Steve Awesome: Me either!
Lex Sense: Well, that's the only two options we got, Jimmy. We win and keep the titles and Ricky Johnson becomes the champ, or we lose the titles and Steve here stays the champ.
Steve Awesome: I vote number two!
You don't get a vote, Steve.
Steve Awesome: I don't?
Lex Sense: No, you don't. Honestly, I don't care about it either way! I just want to get my hands on Rob Diamond's throat and choke his ass until the life leaves his body forever.
Steve Awesome: (blinks)
Ummmm, pretty sure that's murder, big man. You guys really need to bury the hatchet, man. Seriously.
Steve Awesome: Yeah, bury the axe thing!
Lex Sense: To hell with that! Wait a minute. He didn't get invited to the ice cream social, did he?
(Jimmy and Steve look at each other for a moment. They stand in silence, looking away, avoiding the question.)
Lex Sense: Jimmy!
Uhhh, no, of course not! Just ****ing with ya, big man! I wouldn't want to ruin our little party!
Lex Sense: Good! He better not show up here either!
I doubt he would ever do that! Why don't you go check on some of the other guests while Steve and I go do the same!
(Lex stands there, stonefaced, for a few moments before walking off. Steve and Jimmy turn and walk quickly to the front door to where a large bouncer stands with a clip board in hand.)
Jamal, we need to remove Rob Diamond from the guest list.
Steve Awesome: Yeah! Cross that son of a gunslinger off the list.
And for the love of God, don't let him in, even if he has an invitation in hand!
Steve Awesome: Even if he has an invitation in hand!
Don't let him in, no matter what!
Steve Awesome: No matter what!
STOP DOING THAT!
Steve Awesome: (blinks)
Jamal: Got it! No Rob Diamond. No matter what. Consider it done, Boss!
(Jimmy turns to Steve and pulls his arm and they walk back inside as the scene fades to black.)
Andrew, you never seem to amaze me with your.....ignorance. You see, I know exactly why you joined up with Rob and Steve. Oh yeah. Contrary to popular opinion, I am friends with both of them. Hell, Steve is even hosting an ice cream social with me and Lex. Mostly because we all have a love for ice cream.
It brings people together.
If you haven't received an invitation, it's in the mail.
I promise.
WARFARE. This match is peculiar and it isn't the first one I have ever been in. As a matter of fact, the last time I was in a Warfare match, Rob Diamond was on the opposite side of the ring from me then too. My team came up just short, and I was denied an opportunity to be the X Champion. I didn't lose, though. Let's make that clear. My partners lost. I just got dragged down with them. It was a horrible feeling to say the least. To lose a match and be snuffed on the titles because of someone else's shortcomings.
Probably the same thing Steve and Rob are thinking right now.
AJ you were never the leader of the Young Guns no matter how badly you, or others, wanted you to be. You never had the stomach for what we had to do. That was your downfall, not ours. Lex and I carried that group, and were thankful to be rid of you and Verona. You two were doing nothing but losing. Verona seems to have moved on, and is now the National Champion while you try and live off of Rob and Steve and hope to somehow slime your way into our Tag Team Titles. Normally, I would say no chance in hell. But this week is a bit different. You caught me in a bit of a pickle this week.
I'm in a tight spot to be honest.
You see, I love these tag titles. I love them. But I hate Ricky Johnson with a passion. I would hate very much for him to be the World Champion. But I can't have one without the other. You see what I am saying here, AJ? Now, without a shadow of a doubt, I want to win this match. But come Sunday night, I may have changed my mind. Ricky Johnson is undeserving of the title and he is undeserving of being champion. The guy used lies and deceit to get not one, but two title shots from Steve, and for him to cash in and become champion would just be an outright slap in the face to all of those who have worn the belt before. Well...
Except Jack Hammond...
And the Ace...
And Curtis Kanyon..
....
Oh! And Xavier Williams.
But other than them, yeah, it's a slap in the face.
I hope you know what I am getting at there, AJ. I don't like you. Never have, never will. But I like you more than Ricky Johnson. So, if you see an opening in this match Sunday night to win it for your team. You should do it. You should take the chance, take the ball and run with it. Score the win for your team. Not that I want to lose.
Oh no, I'm not saying that.
I am just giving you some advice. That if you see an opening and have a chance to win the match on Sunday night, you should totally take it. I bet Steve would let you be INFamous then! Because you helped him keep his World Title and all.
So.
During the match, it's best to pay attention. Pay COMPLETE ATTENTION to everything going on because you never know when you will get the chance to claim victory for your team.
That is all.
(Meanwhile, out in front of the Radison Hotel, Rob Diamond walks up with invitation in hand. He waits in line behind a few people before finally coming to the bouncer. He hands him his invitation and starts to walk in, but the bouncer stops him.)
Jamal - I'm sorry sir, you aren't on the list.
Rob Diamond: But I got an invitation.
Jamal: But you aren't on the list.
Rob Diamond: Check it again. Rob. Diamond.
Jamal: (Checking list) Nope. Not on the list.
Rob Diamond: Try again. R-O-B. D-I-A-M-O-N-D. Look again, big boy.
Jamal: (staring stone faced.) Nope, not on the list. I got Rob Ruby. Rob Young. No Rob Diamond.
Rob Diamond: Come on man! Check one more time. Rob Diamond.
Jamal: Former NCW Heavyweight Champion.
Rob Diamond: Yes!
Jamal: Leader of INFamous?
Rob Diamond: YES!
Jamal: NOT. ON. THE. LIST!
Rob Diamond: Let me in there, big boy or I am gonna....
(Jamal leans down, his mammoth frame towering over Rob.)
Jamal: You are gonna what?
Rob Diamond: I am gonna leave and quit bothering you!
(Rob walks off, looking over his shoulder, unamused by this big jackass not letting him in. He walks back to his car and grabs a jacket, hat and sunglasses and puts them on. He slowly walks up the sidewalk with a strut. He stops and puts his fist in there.)
Rob Diamond: Yo! My man! Rob Ruby's the name, and ice cream is my game. How goes it tonight?
Jamal: What was the name again?
Rob Diamond: Rob Ruby, brother.
Jamal: Not on the list.
Rob Diamond: That's impossible, my good man. Can you kindly check again? Rob Ruby.
Jamal: For the last time, you are not on the list Mr Diamond!
Rob Diamond: I HAVE TO BE ON THE LIST! I mean...err....I mean...who is Mr Diamond?
Jamal: ......
Rob Diamond: **** it!
(Rob punches Jamal in the nuts and walks off as Jamal hits the ground and the scene fades to black.)
Ricky Johnson, I have been forced to team with you. Why, I have no idea. I don't like you. I never have, and I never will. You are undeserving of being the World Champion. I don't want to see you become World Champion any more than I want to lose the tag titles.
So that puts me in quite the conundrum doesn't it?
Win and keep the tag titles around mine and Lex's waists and watch you slide your way into the World Championship or lose the tag titles and prevent you from being the World Champion. Kind of a tight spot if you ask me.
A real tight spot.
So now, I got some soul searching to do, don't I? I have to decide between my loyalty to my partner and my hatred for you. Which one is stronger? Which side do I choose? How do I decide between the two and how the hell do I overcome the decision I make because someone will be disappointed either way.
We lose the tag titles, and Lex could be pretty upset. I mean, we have been champions for going on three months and it would be a shame to lose the titles. But part of me doesn't think he gives a **** right now. Part of me thinks he only cares about destroying Rob Diamond and taking this already personal conflict even farther. He doesn't care what the **** he has to do to make sure Rob pays for his sins. So, with that said, if we lost the tag titles, I think it would give Lex the freedom to pursue his current course of action against Rob without the responsibility of the titles.
Open Door Perhaps?
Then there is you, Ricky. You have connived and cheated your way into another title shot after failing miserably last month to take the title from Steve. You would be disappointed to no end to lose again Sunday night, wouldn't you? Heartbroken to be sure. Pissed beyond belief, especially if it was say...
Me..
Who cost us the match. Would be awfully weird, wouldn't it? I mean, downright peculiar. Would seem like it was rigged or something, wouldn't it? Like someone went behind your back to stack the deck against you. Yeah, that would suck. I would hate to lose that way, but sometimes things are what they are.
It is what it is.
Not that I would ever intentionally throw a match. I am above such things, I am just giving some examples of what COULD possibly happen Sunday night. Oh, and don't bother with the "If you throw this match, I am gonna" blah blah blah "insert idle threat here" blah blah blah **** either. I don't care. You and your words mean nothing to me, Ricky.
Hell, you mean nothing to me.
I wake up this morning in a fairly good mood. Well, kind of. I sit down to check some email and check out my fantasy football scores and the first thing that pops up is an Alex Jones promo. So I sit there, trying to take it all in. I am barely awake, mind you, and I hear my name over and over and over again. And the only thing running through my mind....
IS WOW!
First of all, how did such a vulgar, foul-mouthed piece of trash like Alex Jones get that promo past the NCW Censors? I mean, seriously, dude. I drop a cuss word here and there. An occasional F-Bomb. But Jeezus, you take it to a whole new level in that promo, bro. And at the risk of sounding like a complete hypocrite for a moment.
CALM THE **** DOWN!
Man, now I know exactly what everyone was thinking about me a couple of years back. I couldn't see the forest for the trees back then, and honestly, from deep down in my heart..
I am truly sorry.
I am sorry that I subjected everyone to that kind of ignorance and stupidity. I know that I have never went off on that type of foul-mouthed tangent before, but I am sure I have done the temper tantrum on more than a few occasions. This guy hasn't just pushed the envelope, he burned it to the ground! Not that it's any conseqence to me, because as he pointed out, I am in the main event at Battlegrounds...and he..
well....isn't!
So, Alex, I have to ask you. How does it feel to get surpassed on the depth chart? How does it feel to get passed up by someone you think is beneath you in both ability and pecking order in this company? Sucks, doesn't it? Really gets your gode! Pisses you off a bit, does it? It has you so twisted up inside that you can barely even focus on YOUR match this week because you are so worried what everyone else is doing. All I can say to that is..
Welcome to my world!
So really, all I got to say to you, Alex, is the same thing that everyone was saying to me two years ago. Shut up! Please. You and Roberto Verona run your mouths, and talk, talk, talk more than any other people in this company combined. It's all talk. So, quit running your mouth about **** you got nothing to do with and focus on your own ****. I would hate for your hope for the World Title to get flushed away by getting beat by Verona or Gardner on Sunday night. They don't tend to want losers in the World Title picture. Then again, that could by why you haven't gotten a shot yet.
Just sayin.
-------------------------------------
INZANE-O-SENSE ICE CREAM SOCIAL WITH AWESOMESAUCE
(The scene fades into the first ever InZane-O-Sense Ice Cream Social with Awesomesauce at the Radison Hotel. The hustle and bustle of people in the room chatting, laughing, joking and making some great sundaes complete with some wonderful dairy deliciousness....
Provided by Ben & Jerry's
Inside we see the hosts of the event standing together, chatting. The NCW Tag Team Champions, Jimmy Zane and Lex Sense and the current NCW World Champion, Steve Awesome.)
This is quite a turnout! I am glad I had this idea!
Lex Sense: Don't you mean "We"?
Steve Awesome: Yeah, "We"!
(Lex and Jimmy both look at Steve like he has lost his mind.)
Dude, you weren't even there when we had the idea. You just love ice cream. Besides the new "Face of the Freezer" flavor is a big hit. I never knew that ice cream full of nuts could be so popular.
(Everyone pauses for a moment before bursting into laughter.)
But seriously guys, this match at Battlegrounds has me all twisted up inside.
Lex Sense: How so?
I mean, on one hand, I don't want to let these tag titles go! We Have been tag champions for almost three months with several successful tag title defenses, and I want those good times to keep rolling.
Lex Sense: But?
But I can't tell you how bad I DON'T want that toolbag Ricky Johnson to be the World Heavyweight champion!
Steve Awesome: Me either!
Lex Sense: Well, that's the only two options we got, Jimmy. We win and keep the titles and Ricky Johnson becomes the champ, or we lose the titles and Steve here stays the champ.
Steve Awesome: I vote number two!
You don't get a vote, Steve.
Steve Awesome: I don't?
Lex Sense: No, you don't. Honestly, I don't care about it either way! I just want to get my hands on Rob Diamond's throat and choke his ass until the life leaves his body forever.
Steve Awesome: (blinks)
Ummmm, pretty sure that's murder, big man. You guys really need to bury the hatchet, man. Seriously.
Steve Awesome: Yeah, bury the axe thing!
Lex Sense: To hell with that! Wait a minute. He didn't get invited to the ice cream social, did he?
(Jimmy and Steve look at each other for a moment. They stand in silence, looking away, avoiding the question.)
Lex Sense: Jimmy!
Uhhh, no, of course not! Just ****ing with ya, big man! I wouldn't want to ruin our little party!
Lex Sense: Good! He better not show up here either!
I doubt he would ever do that! Why don't you go check on some of the other guests while Steve and I go do the same!
(Lex stands there, stonefaced, for a few moments before walking off. Steve and Jimmy turn and walk quickly to the front door to where a large bouncer stands with a clip board in hand.)
Jamal, we need to remove Rob Diamond from the guest list.
Steve Awesome: Yeah! Cross that son of a gunslinger off the list.
And for the love of God, don't let him in, even if he has an invitation in hand!
Steve Awesome: Even if he has an invitation in hand!
Don't let him in, no matter what!
Steve Awesome: No matter what!
STOP DOING THAT!
Steve Awesome: (blinks)
Jamal: Got it! No Rob Diamond. No matter what. Consider it done, Boss!
(Jimmy turns to Steve and pulls his arm and they walk back inside as the scene fades to black.)
-------------------------------------
Andrew, you never seem to amaze me with your.....ignorance. You see, I know exactly why you joined up with Rob and Steve. Oh yeah. Contrary to popular opinion, I am friends with both of them. Hell, Steve is even hosting an ice cream social with me and Lex. Mostly because we all have a love for ice cream.
It brings people together.
If you haven't received an invitation, it's in the mail.
I promise.
WARFARE. This match is peculiar and it isn't the first one I have ever been in. As a matter of fact, the last time I was in a Warfare match, Rob Diamond was on the opposite side of the ring from me then too. My team came up just short, and I was denied an opportunity to be the X Champion. I didn't lose, though. Let's make that clear. My partners lost. I just got dragged down with them. It was a horrible feeling to say the least. To lose a match and be snuffed on the titles because of someone else's shortcomings.
Probably the same thing Steve and Rob are thinking right now.
AJ you were never the leader of the Young Guns no matter how badly you, or others, wanted you to be. You never had the stomach for what we had to do. That was your downfall, not ours. Lex and I carried that group, and were thankful to be rid of you and Verona. You two were doing nothing but losing. Verona seems to have moved on, and is now the National Champion while you try and live off of Rob and Steve and hope to somehow slime your way into our Tag Team Titles. Normally, I would say no chance in hell. But this week is a bit different. You caught me in a bit of a pickle this week.
I'm in a tight spot to be honest.
You see, I love these tag titles. I love them. But I hate Ricky Johnson with a passion. I would hate very much for him to be the World Champion. But I can't have one without the other. You see what I am saying here, AJ? Now, without a shadow of a doubt, I want to win this match. But come Sunday night, I may have changed my mind. Ricky Johnson is undeserving of the title and he is undeserving of being champion. The guy used lies and deceit to get not one, but two title shots from Steve, and for him to cash in and become champion would just be an outright slap in the face to all of those who have worn the belt before. Well...
Except Jack Hammond...
And the Ace...
And Curtis Kanyon..
....
Oh! And Xavier Williams.
But other than them, yeah, it's a slap in the face.
I hope you know what I am getting at there, AJ. I don't like you. Never have, never will. But I like you more than Ricky Johnson. So, if you see an opening in this match Sunday night to win it for your team. You should do it. You should take the chance, take the ball and run with it. Score the win for your team. Not that I want to lose.
Oh no, I'm not saying that.
I am just giving you some advice. That if you see an opening and have a chance to win the match on Sunday night, you should totally take it. I bet Steve would let you be INFamous then! Because you helped him keep his World Title and all.
So.
During the match, it's best to pay attention. Pay COMPLETE ATTENTION to everything going on because you never know when you will get the chance to claim victory for your team.
That is all.
-------------------------------------
(Meanwhile, out in front of the Radison Hotel, Rob Diamond walks up with invitation in hand. He waits in line behind a few people before finally coming to the bouncer. He hands him his invitation and starts to walk in, but the bouncer stops him.)
Jamal - I'm sorry sir, you aren't on the list.
Rob Diamond: But I got an invitation.
Jamal: But you aren't on the list.
Rob Diamond: Check it again. Rob. Diamond.
Jamal: (Checking list) Nope. Not on the list.
Rob Diamond: Try again. R-O-B. D-I-A-M-O-N-D. Look again, big boy.
Jamal: (staring stone faced.) Nope, not on the list. I got Rob Ruby. Rob Young. No Rob Diamond.
Rob Diamond: Come on man! Check one more time. Rob Diamond.
Jamal: Former NCW Heavyweight Champion.
Rob Diamond: Yes!
Jamal: Leader of INFamous?
Rob Diamond: YES!
Jamal: NOT. ON. THE. LIST!
Rob Diamond: Let me in there, big boy or I am gonna....
(Jamal leans down, his mammoth frame towering over Rob.)
Jamal: You are gonna what?
Rob Diamond: I am gonna leave and quit bothering you!
(Rob walks off, looking over his shoulder, unamused by this big jackass not letting him in. He walks back to his car and grabs a jacket, hat and sunglasses and puts them on. He slowly walks up the sidewalk with a strut. He stops and puts his fist in there.)
Rob Diamond: Yo! My man! Rob Ruby's the name, and ice cream is my game. How goes it tonight?
Jamal: What was the name again?
Rob Diamond: Rob Ruby, brother.
Jamal: Not on the list.
Rob Diamond: That's impossible, my good man. Can you kindly check again? Rob Ruby.
Jamal: For the last time, you are not on the list Mr Diamond!
Rob Diamond: I HAVE TO BE ON THE LIST! I mean...err....I mean...who is Mr Diamond?
Jamal: ......
Rob Diamond: **** it!
(Rob punches Jamal in the nuts and walks off as Jamal hits the ground and the scene fades to black.)
-------------------------------------
Ricky Johnson, I have been forced to team with you. Why, I have no idea. I don't like you. I never have, and I never will. You are undeserving of being the World Champion. I don't want to see you become World Champion any more than I want to lose the tag titles.
So that puts me in quite the conundrum doesn't it?
Win and keep the tag titles around mine and Lex's waists and watch you slide your way into the World Championship or lose the tag titles and prevent you from being the World Champion. Kind of a tight spot if you ask me.
A real tight spot.
So now, I got some soul searching to do, don't I? I have to decide between my loyalty to my partner and my hatred for you. Which one is stronger? Which side do I choose? How do I decide between the two and how the hell do I overcome the decision I make because someone will be disappointed either way.
We lose the tag titles, and Lex could be pretty upset. I mean, we have been champions for going on three months and it would be a shame to lose the titles. But part of me doesn't think he gives a **** right now. Part of me thinks he only cares about destroying Rob Diamond and taking this already personal conflict even farther. He doesn't care what the **** he has to do to make sure Rob pays for his sins. So, with that said, if we lost the tag titles, I think it would give Lex the freedom to pursue his current course of action against Rob without the responsibility of the titles.
Open Door Perhaps?
Then there is you, Ricky. You have connived and cheated your way into another title shot after failing miserably last month to take the title from Steve. You would be disappointed to no end to lose again Sunday night, wouldn't you? Heartbroken to be sure. Pissed beyond belief, especially if it was say...
Me..
Who cost us the match. Would be awfully weird, wouldn't it? I mean, downright peculiar. Would seem like it was rigged or something, wouldn't it? Like someone went behind your back to stack the deck against you. Yeah, that would suck. I would hate to lose that way, but sometimes things are what they are.
It is what it is.
Not that I would ever intentionally throw a match. I am above such things, I am just giving some examples of what COULD possibly happen Sunday night. Oh, and don't bother with the "If you throw this match, I am gonna" blah blah blah "insert idle threat here" blah blah blah **** either. I don't care. You and your words mean nothing to me, Ricky.
Hell, you mean nothing to me.