Post by Curtis D. Kanyon on Sept 21, 2011 22:23:44 GMT -6
*We open in on the door of the "Knitely Bangs locker room, presented by Burger King." Two men are unscrewing the Burger King logo from the door. The camera goes past them into the room.*
DDK: I can't believe we lost our sponsorship! What the hell!?
GQ: Well, you're alter ego is going crazy and causing a ruckus. I mean, did you see that commercial he did last week?
"DDK": Burger King! Have it your way! If your way means having burgers spit on and fries that are a little dirty and undercooked. Oh yeah, and you think that's mustard? That's not mustard! Oh no, what that really is, is--
*The scene cuts to fuzz.*
DDK: Oh, that's not cool. Well ****.
*Obsidian runs in.*
Obsidian: Ffffuhfuh, fffaaffa ffooo.
DDK: What?
*Obsidian swallows.*
Obsidian: Ow ow ow. Should have chewed the chips more first. Anyway, I think you should come this way!
*They head out the door and walk down the hall as the two guys continue working on removing the Burger King logo from the door. As they walk away, we hear running and suddenly DDK dives through one of the workers as the other jumps back in surprise!
DDK: BANG!
*DDK walks off.*
*We are outside in the parking lot. The arena's door opens and Obsidian, GQ, and DDK walk outside.*
DDK: It just sucks. I have to stay away from my buddy Joe. I have to keep Adam away from me. I have to hold back from hanging out with anyone I care about, in case Curtis regains control and goes crazy on them!
Obsidian: Yeah, that sucks.
GQ: Wait a minute, but you're hanging out with us.
DDK: Right.
Obsidian: Of course he is.
GQ: But he just said he wanted to stay away from people because of his alter ego.
Obsidian: Duh.
DDK: Yeah, thanks for the recap.
GQ: But...but...
Obsidian: Anyway! Check this out!
*The camera pans over to a bouncy castle.*
Obsidian: To get the spirits up! All thanks to our party rental buddy over there!
*He points over and DDK is already standing over the body of the technician.*
DDK: BANG! I mean, whoops. BOUNCY CASTLE!
*DDK dives into the rubber structure, followed shortly after by Obsidian.*
GQ: You guys are so lame...ah hell!
*GQ jumps in too. They all jump around and laugh.*
DDK: This is so gay, but I don't care!
GQ: Yeah, I love it!
DDK: You would.
GQ: I AM NOT G--
Obsidian: Don't ruin this.
*They continue to bounce around until we hear a POP! The castle deflates.*
GQ: Abandon ship!
Obsidian: The captain must go down with it, save yourselves!
*DDK and GQ climb out of the castle as Obsidian salutes.*
DDK: My life flashed before my eyes!
GQ: Was that Curtis?
Betty White: Think again d-bag!
*Betty stands behind DDK and GQ with a knife in hand. GQ screams like a girl and quickly runs into the deflated castle.*
DDK: I thought you were dead!
Betty: You thought wrong fatty! Now let me carve some weight off ya so we can fit you in a cute dress!
DDK: Bring it on you bag of bones and STDs!
*DDK charges at Betty and goes for a BANG!, but Betty leap frogs over him! She slashes at him across the back with her knife.*
DDK: Aaaagh!
Betty: Scream piggy!
*Betty and DDK circle each other and she swipes at him again and again, but he dodges and ducks. She goes for another swipe and DDK punches her elbow, causing her to drop the knife. DDK then goes for another punch, but Betty ducks and puts DDK in a sleeper. DDK spins around trying to get her off.*
Betty: Go to sleep so I can rape your ass you fat piece of crap!
DDK: NEVER!
*DDK grabs Betty by her white hair and tosses her over his shoulder, landing hard on the cement.*
Betty: Ow, my back. I've fallen and I can't get up!
DDK: Oh, I'm so sorry!
*DDK pulls Betty up off the floor.*
DDK: Sorry I ain't falling for it!
*DDK shoves Betty back and then charges with the BANG! She lays on the floor, out like a light. GQ and Obsidian crawl out of the castle.*
DDK: BANG!
Obsidian: Is it over?
DDK: It will be this time. Gather the wood, lets start a pyre...
*DDK looks down at Betty in disgust, the wind blowing his long blond hair as GQ and Obsidian start looking around. The scene pauses. The camera zooms out and we see it on a TV screen. Curtis stands next to the TV.*
Curtis: Do you see this? This kind of crap? Does this entertain you? Huh? Because this is going to end! This crap. This feud with Betty White. Well, that won't happen again after what they did next, but you get my point. There is no debate here, I am ending DDK. I am killing him from my mind! I am severing his ties! Joe is staying so far away. Adam is hiding his family. When I go out there on Sunday, I will end DDK by destroying the last friend he has. Adam can think he's being righteous, he can think he's doing the right thing, but what about me? This is my body. What about my family? They don't get a father when DDK is out there banging people left and right. That's not right. That's not fair to me. THAT IS NOT FAIR...to me! I will bring every trick in my bag and then some if I have to. I'm taking my life back, and not a damn soul is going to stop me!
*Curtis pushes the TV off the stand and it crashes behind the stand. He walks off as the scene fades out.*
DDK: I can't believe we lost our sponsorship! What the hell!?
GQ: Well, you're alter ego is going crazy and causing a ruckus. I mean, did you see that commercial he did last week?
"DDK": Burger King! Have it your way! If your way means having burgers spit on and fries that are a little dirty and undercooked. Oh yeah, and you think that's mustard? That's not mustard! Oh no, what that really is, is--
*The scene cuts to fuzz.*
DDK: Oh, that's not cool. Well ****.
*Obsidian runs in.*
Obsidian: Ffffuhfuh, fffaaffa ffooo.
DDK: What?
*Obsidian swallows.*
Obsidian: Ow ow ow. Should have chewed the chips more first. Anyway, I think you should come this way!
*They head out the door and walk down the hall as the two guys continue working on removing the Burger King logo from the door. As they walk away, we hear running and suddenly DDK dives through one of the workers as the other jumps back in surprise!
DDK: BANG!
*DDK walks off.*
*We are outside in the parking lot. The arena's door opens and Obsidian, GQ, and DDK walk outside.*
DDK: It just sucks. I have to stay away from my buddy Joe. I have to keep Adam away from me. I have to hold back from hanging out with anyone I care about, in case Curtis regains control and goes crazy on them!
Obsidian: Yeah, that sucks.
GQ: Wait a minute, but you're hanging out with us.
DDK: Right.
Obsidian: Of course he is.
GQ: But he just said he wanted to stay away from people because of his alter ego.
Obsidian: Duh.
DDK: Yeah, thanks for the recap.
GQ: But...but...
Obsidian: Anyway! Check this out!
*The camera pans over to a bouncy castle.*
Obsidian: To get the spirits up! All thanks to our party rental buddy over there!
*He points over and DDK is already standing over the body of the technician.*
DDK: BANG! I mean, whoops. BOUNCY CASTLE!
*DDK dives into the rubber structure, followed shortly after by Obsidian.*
GQ: You guys are so lame...ah hell!
*GQ jumps in too. They all jump around and laugh.*
DDK: This is so gay, but I don't care!
GQ: Yeah, I love it!
DDK: You would.
GQ: I AM NOT G--
Obsidian: Don't ruin this.
*They continue to bounce around until we hear a POP! The castle deflates.*
GQ: Abandon ship!
Obsidian: The captain must go down with it, save yourselves!
*DDK and GQ climb out of the castle as Obsidian salutes.*
DDK: My life flashed before my eyes!
GQ: Was that Curtis?
Betty White: Think again d-bag!
*Betty stands behind DDK and GQ with a knife in hand. GQ screams like a girl and quickly runs into the deflated castle.*
DDK: I thought you were dead!
Betty: You thought wrong fatty! Now let me carve some weight off ya so we can fit you in a cute dress!
DDK: Bring it on you bag of bones and STDs!
*DDK charges at Betty and goes for a BANG!, but Betty leap frogs over him! She slashes at him across the back with her knife.*
DDK: Aaaagh!
Betty: Scream piggy!
*Betty and DDK circle each other and she swipes at him again and again, but he dodges and ducks. She goes for another swipe and DDK punches her elbow, causing her to drop the knife. DDK then goes for another punch, but Betty ducks and puts DDK in a sleeper. DDK spins around trying to get her off.*
Betty: Go to sleep so I can rape your ass you fat piece of crap!
DDK: NEVER!
*DDK grabs Betty by her white hair and tosses her over his shoulder, landing hard on the cement.*
Betty: Ow, my back. I've fallen and I can't get up!
DDK: Oh, I'm so sorry!
*DDK pulls Betty up off the floor.*
DDK: Sorry I ain't falling for it!
*DDK shoves Betty back and then charges with the BANG! She lays on the floor, out like a light. GQ and Obsidian crawl out of the castle.*
DDK: BANG!
Obsidian: Is it over?
DDK: It will be this time. Gather the wood, lets start a pyre...
*DDK looks down at Betty in disgust, the wind blowing his long blond hair as GQ and Obsidian start looking around. The scene pauses. The camera zooms out and we see it on a TV screen. Curtis stands next to the TV.*
Curtis: Do you see this? This kind of crap? Does this entertain you? Huh? Because this is going to end! This crap. This feud with Betty White. Well, that won't happen again after what they did next, but you get my point. There is no debate here, I am ending DDK. I am killing him from my mind! I am severing his ties! Joe is staying so far away. Adam is hiding his family. When I go out there on Sunday, I will end DDK by destroying the last friend he has. Adam can think he's being righteous, he can think he's doing the right thing, but what about me? This is my body. What about my family? They don't get a father when DDK is out there banging people left and right. That's not right. That's not fair to me. THAT IS NOT FAIR...to me! I will bring every trick in my bag and then some if I have to. I'm taking my life back, and not a damn soul is going to stop me!
*Curtis pushes the TV off the stand and it crashes behind the stand. He walks off as the scene fades out.*