Post by Alysson Gardner on Sept 23, 2011 3:38:17 GMT -6
Christian: Ok, and since when has Freya been attending college?
These questions were really starting to piss me off. Well, long story short, Chris came to my apartment in Brooklyn, New York to talk to me about... Something I don't know yet. And then he sees Tasha, Freya Kane's mixed-color daughter, with me as I babysit her. Freya herself has decided to take a turn on her life and started attending San Diego State University from the fall semester. So she needs her little baby to be with someone for some time, and the chosen one for the round was me. Not that I don't like taking care of children, because I love these little pests... Thing is, did Christian really have to put me through all these questions just because a clumsy mom started working her life out?
Alysson: I don't know, two months? Listen: she asked me to take care of little Tasha for a couple of days, and when she's back from San Diego, I'm giving her back. That's about it.
Christian: And why couldn't Davis take care of her?
Alysson: I don't f***ing know! He must have had a reason, whatever. Traveling, maybe?
I look at the baby and she smiles at me with the purity of someone who still doesn't understand crap about life and is loving it.
Alysson: If he had the time he wouldn't have to be away from this pretty little baby here, huh? Oooooh, c'mon, who's aunt Aly's sweet li'l caramel, huh?
Christian: I just hope River won't be hearing you...
Alysson: What the--?!
I hop up to him and slap him on the arm several times to show him my disapproval of what he just said, as he defnds himself.
Alysson: Shut up, you stupid f***! What the hell? God forbid she ever does! Damn...
Christian: Oi! I'm sorry!
Alysson: You better. Hmpf!
I then shift my attention to the baby again, as she looks at me with big round eyes and a confused face. Probably because I was screaming at my brother earlier on.
Alysson: So, what brings you here?
Christian: Well, it's mom.
I look back at Chris with wide eyes, worries about the state of my old lady.
Alysson: What about mom? Something happened? Is she ok?!
Christian: Easy, easy, she's ok, she's in one piece.
I take a sigh of relief. But before I can move my lips to say any word else, he completes himself:
Christian: And she's in America. I had dinner with her yesterday, annnnnd she wants to see you.
I shrug.
Alysson: Nothing wrong with that.
Christian: AND she wants to meet your boyfriend. AND your new stepson.
Ok, now we do have trouble. I gulp and blink twice at my brother, worried about Heather's reaction.
Alysson: Did you tell her it wasn't the best of times?
Christian: And could I? I mean, we don't want any other of those rants about 'oh my, why does Alysson have to hook up with these problematic kind of boys 'n yadda yadda' things, now do we?
I scratch my head, as I have to admit he's right. But we can't let mom meet Xander... Because he's not with us.
Alysson: Well, at least mom doesn't watch wrestling. She'd freak out if she knew Michael had been to prison just a couple of weeks ago.
Christian: For something he did not do.
Alysson: Do you think she's gonna care about it?! It happened, that's all that matters to her! We paid his bail, we hired the best lawyers our money could afford, but still, he was in jail, and she'd HATE to know that!
His time to admit that I'm right, as his long break tells the whole story.
Christian: ... so what do you want me to do?
Alysson: What do I want you to do? Why do you ask me?!
Christian: Well, she wants to get along with YOUR side of the family, it's YOUR decision!
Alysson: ... yeah... Makes sense. Listen: there's NO way mom can meet Xander right now, because he's clearly not around. He's with River. And we won't be seeing him until the trials, IF we do. So, about him...
Christian: We can always tell the truth.
Alysson: WHAT?!
Christian: Tell mom that Xander is with his mom! Settle down!
Alysson: Well... Yeah. Could do it. But she's going to notice something wrong if we never let her meet him. And something tells me it's going to be a long time.
Christian: That's damn true. And how about Mike?
Alysson: That's a whole different game. We can arrange a meeting between mom and Spike, no problem with that. I just have to talk with him first, so to get him prepared to meet his mom-in-law.
Christian: It's fair.
Chris snickers, as he gets up from his seat.
Christian: I'm going to grab some soda for us, so we can think about it over some sugar.
Alysson: I like it.
And then Chris leaves the living room, off to the kitchen, and I'm alone with the little Tasha Davis for a while. Damn, she looks like Freya, only tanned. And by looking like Freya, she, by default, looks like Michael.
... why can't I bring my son home?
Story of my life: every time that I brought a new victory home, whether it was in wrestling or in my personal life, there would be a power-hungry bitch that would seek after me in order to destroy me the worst way possible and take my belongings away. It was like this with my first boyfriend, a basketball player that was being blown by some other chick while I was busting my ass to make him happy. Then came my only girlfriend, Gabrielle Crimson, and when I was starting to savor the joy of being free to make my own choices – even if that meant being openly lesbian –, there came my father, trying to rape me, to make me understand the position of the men in the life of a woman. So, the old man goes to jail for that, and comes Victoria Valentine, stealing my girlfriend from me.
Then came my first ever championship, a Hardcore Championship, that was the accomplishment of a dream. I've trained my whole life to be recognized as one of the most resilient, most crafty female wrestler of them all, and I learned it from the best, as I followed on the footsteps of the Ragnal clan. People in nCw might remember this name from the original X-Champion that was Joe Ragnal, brother of my sister-in-law. And then came Stephanie Sullivan, stealing the championship from me in a three-way match in which I was never pinned.
And then I fell in love with Spike Kane. And my heart once again felt whole, as I once again had the opportunity to build a family... And then came River Maddison, his ex-wife, trying to ruin our lives, just when I was hoping to become the mother that the powers that be never wanted me to.
Do we see a pattern here? Yes, we do: The cheerleader... My father... Miss Valentine... Stephanie Sullivan... River Maddison... Shelly Taylor-Jones. The power-hungry fools that walk into my life and try to attack me from the inside out to take the things I pride in the most away from me. They who belittle me in every chance possible. The underhanded maneuvers, the lies, the unnecessary drama...
Unluckily for you, Shelly, I'm an eternal learner. And every time people come into my life trying to destroy it, every time individuals like you come in and try to bash me and bury my head into the ground, I grow stronger. And each and every time someone like you comes in, I do my best and then some, to make sure they're going to be the last one. And one of these days, it really is going to be the last time. And believe me, Shelly, I'm going to fight for it so it's the last time someone like you questioned my talent, my will and my heart. You see, the only difference between you and Tara Fenix is that you actually won a#1 contenders match to get to this point, whereas she sent me a fair warning about how destructive a force she is, yet she couldn't even make it to the main show, and here I am, still waiting for her ominous attack.
Or maybe she's just like waiting for a match that's actually worth something to attack, because, says your logic, matches with no goal other than just a win aren't worth crap, right? Otherwise you wouldn't have spent a whole month bitching about how I got the Women's Championship in that battle royale in which all of the so-called perfect and better deserving women slacked off and got thrown away early on while the big upset here fought to the end for the sole reason of being the best in that ring at that night, excelling in my every move, in a fashion that you weren't able to pull off because, well, it didn't really matter for you, did it?
Ok, I know what you're going to say next: you don't have to grow better when you're already the best, right? Well, what were you doing for the last whole month? Not having your hand raised by a ref, that's for sure. But, then again, says your logic, that proves nothing, right? Those are just black marks on your record, nothing to worry about.
As if I hadn't done enough to prove myself to the world, as you're the only one that refuses to see it. Hell, you might as well keep saying those things out loud so you can make yourself believe in your words. I mean, I was inches away from a main event match last week, tagging along with your husband against your new friend in Crystal Hilton while you were getting your ass kicked by Mercedes Lewis in a Trauma match. Sure, I lost that match, but I have the dignity to say that Crystal Hilton was the better woman that night... Something you don't seem to have the capacity to do. Your speeches about "black marks in your record" have gotten so old enough. And I'm pretty sure you're going to blame Mercedes and BWA for your last loss. Just like you're likely to blame Christian for your loss in the week before. And then me for the other one. And then Ayla Saint James for the one in that battle royale where you ended up lying on the ringside while I was on my way to become the champion that nobody was looking forward to... And the one woman that you vowed so assertively to take down and prove the entire roster and the fan base of this company that YOU are the next big thing, but haven't made a single move ever since you've become the #1 contender.
And that is the main difference between you and me, Shelly. I have proof... You only have words.
Which, by the way, begs the question: who's the next to blame? Will it be Crystal Hilton, the one that you seem to be getting along with quite well to a point she agreed with carrying your load around in a tag team that's destined to failure? Maybe it'll be your own husband, Alex, for not training you well enough to overcome the odds? Or maybe you'll join the trend and blame Leonard Fox, because that seems to be the "on" thing to do...
Why don't you blame yourself for a change? Our old friend Crystal likes to say that "perfection never fails"... Newsflash, nobody is perfect... I know for a fact that I'm not, and you're not any better. Knowing our weaknesses and admitting our mistakes is the first and most important step to become better... And no, that won't make you any less deserving of being a champion, or facing one for that matter. And walking around with your nose up high and this whole "holier than thou" attitude won't make you any more deserving either.
And most important of all, something that you seem not to realize, even though you pride in being the "Strong Style Starlet" like it meant some kind of big deal: wasting the Women's World Championship... The Starlets World Championship in the career of a selfish, egotistical, stuck-up, annoying waste of air time would be finishing up with destroying the core of an already weakened segment that is the nCw Women's Division. You see, I'm not the champion because I want to rub it in the face of anyone, but because I want to create a new legacy, not only for myself, but to lead this new band of women into an era of better fights, most intense and hard-fought, so people can look at us, Female Wrestlers, Starlets, and know they're getting more than a two-minute half baked diva ass shaking stravaganza.
You may not agree with this idea, but if this championship means no more than bragging rights for you, and screw the rest of the world...
You don't deserve this championship more than I do.
These questions were really starting to piss me off. Well, long story short, Chris came to my apartment in Brooklyn, New York to talk to me about... Something I don't know yet. And then he sees Tasha, Freya Kane's mixed-color daughter, with me as I babysit her. Freya herself has decided to take a turn on her life and started attending San Diego State University from the fall semester. So she needs her little baby to be with someone for some time, and the chosen one for the round was me. Not that I don't like taking care of children, because I love these little pests... Thing is, did Christian really have to put me through all these questions just because a clumsy mom started working her life out?
Alysson: I don't know, two months? Listen: she asked me to take care of little Tasha for a couple of days, and when she's back from San Diego, I'm giving her back. That's about it.
Christian: And why couldn't Davis take care of her?
Alysson: I don't f***ing know! He must have had a reason, whatever. Traveling, maybe?
I look at the baby and she smiles at me with the purity of someone who still doesn't understand crap about life and is loving it.
Alysson: If he had the time he wouldn't have to be away from this pretty little baby here, huh? Oooooh, c'mon, who's aunt Aly's sweet li'l caramel, huh?
Christian: I just hope River won't be hearing you...
Alysson: What the--?!
I hop up to him and slap him on the arm several times to show him my disapproval of what he just said, as he defnds himself.
Alysson: Shut up, you stupid f***! What the hell? God forbid she ever does! Damn...
Christian: Oi! I'm sorry!
Alysson: You better. Hmpf!
I then shift my attention to the baby again, as she looks at me with big round eyes and a confused face. Probably because I was screaming at my brother earlier on.
Alysson: So, what brings you here?
Christian: Well, it's mom.
I look back at Chris with wide eyes, worries about the state of my old lady.
Alysson: What about mom? Something happened? Is she ok?!
Christian: Easy, easy, she's ok, she's in one piece.
I take a sigh of relief. But before I can move my lips to say any word else, he completes himself:
Christian: And she's in America. I had dinner with her yesterday, annnnnd she wants to see you.
I shrug.
Alysson: Nothing wrong with that.
Christian: AND she wants to meet your boyfriend. AND your new stepson.
Ok, now we do have trouble. I gulp and blink twice at my brother, worried about Heather's reaction.
Alysson: Did you tell her it wasn't the best of times?
Christian: And could I? I mean, we don't want any other of those rants about 'oh my, why does Alysson have to hook up with these problematic kind of boys 'n yadda yadda' things, now do we?
I scratch my head, as I have to admit he's right. But we can't let mom meet Xander... Because he's not with us.
Alysson: Well, at least mom doesn't watch wrestling. She'd freak out if she knew Michael had been to prison just a couple of weeks ago.
Christian: For something he did not do.
Alysson: Do you think she's gonna care about it?! It happened, that's all that matters to her! We paid his bail, we hired the best lawyers our money could afford, but still, he was in jail, and she'd HATE to know that!
His time to admit that I'm right, as his long break tells the whole story.
Christian: ... so what do you want me to do?
Alysson: What do I want you to do? Why do you ask me?!
Christian: Well, she wants to get along with YOUR side of the family, it's YOUR decision!
Alysson: ... yeah... Makes sense. Listen: there's NO way mom can meet Xander right now, because he's clearly not around. He's with River. And we won't be seeing him until the trials, IF we do. So, about him...
Christian: We can always tell the truth.
Alysson: WHAT?!
Christian: Tell mom that Xander is with his mom! Settle down!
Alysson: Well... Yeah. Could do it. But she's going to notice something wrong if we never let her meet him. And something tells me it's going to be a long time.
Christian: That's damn true. And how about Mike?
Alysson: That's a whole different game. We can arrange a meeting between mom and Spike, no problem with that. I just have to talk with him first, so to get him prepared to meet his mom-in-law.
Christian: It's fair.
Chris snickers, as he gets up from his seat.
Christian: I'm going to grab some soda for us, so we can think about it over some sugar.
Alysson: I like it.
And then Chris leaves the living room, off to the kitchen, and I'm alone with the little Tasha Davis for a while. Damn, she looks like Freya, only tanned. And by looking like Freya, she, by default, looks like Michael.
... why can't I bring my son home?
Story of my life: every time that I brought a new victory home, whether it was in wrestling or in my personal life, there would be a power-hungry bitch that would seek after me in order to destroy me the worst way possible and take my belongings away. It was like this with my first boyfriend, a basketball player that was being blown by some other chick while I was busting my ass to make him happy. Then came my only girlfriend, Gabrielle Crimson, and when I was starting to savor the joy of being free to make my own choices – even if that meant being openly lesbian –, there came my father, trying to rape me, to make me understand the position of the men in the life of a woman. So, the old man goes to jail for that, and comes Victoria Valentine, stealing my girlfriend from me.
Then came my first ever championship, a Hardcore Championship, that was the accomplishment of a dream. I've trained my whole life to be recognized as one of the most resilient, most crafty female wrestler of them all, and I learned it from the best, as I followed on the footsteps of the Ragnal clan. People in nCw might remember this name from the original X-Champion that was Joe Ragnal, brother of my sister-in-law. And then came Stephanie Sullivan, stealing the championship from me in a three-way match in which I was never pinned.
And then I fell in love with Spike Kane. And my heart once again felt whole, as I once again had the opportunity to build a family... And then came River Maddison, his ex-wife, trying to ruin our lives, just when I was hoping to become the mother that the powers that be never wanted me to.
Do we see a pattern here? Yes, we do: The cheerleader... My father... Miss Valentine... Stephanie Sullivan... River Maddison... Shelly Taylor-Jones. The power-hungry fools that walk into my life and try to attack me from the inside out to take the things I pride in the most away from me. They who belittle me in every chance possible. The underhanded maneuvers, the lies, the unnecessary drama...
Unluckily for you, Shelly, I'm an eternal learner. And every time people come into my life trying to destroy it, every time individuals like you come in and try to bash me and bury my head into the ground, I grow stronger. And each and every time someone like you comes in, I do my best and then some, to make sure they're going to be the last one. And one of these days, it really is going to be the last time. And believe me, Shelly, I'm going to fight for it so it's the last time someone like you questioned my talent, my will and my heart. You see, the only difference between you and Tara Fenix is that you actually won a#1 contenders match to get to this point, whereas she sent me a fair warning about how destructive a force she is, yet she couldn't even make it to the main show, and here I am, still waiting for her ominous attack.
Or maybe she's just like waiting for a match that's actually worth something to attack, because, says your logic, matches with no goal other than just a win aren't worth crap, right? Otherwise you wouldn't have spent a whole month bitching about how I got the Women's Championship in that battle royale in which all of the so-called perfect and better deserving women slacked off and got thrown away early on while the big upset here fought to the end for the sole reason of being the best in that ring at that night, excelling in my every move, in a fashion that you weren't able to pull off because, well, it didn't really matter for you, did it?
Ok, I know what you're going to say next: you don't have to grow better when you're already the best, right? Well, what were you doing for the last whole month? Not having your hand raised by a ref, that's for sure. But, then again, says your logic, that proves nothing, right? Those are just black marks on your record, nothing to worry about.
As if I hadn't done enough to prove myself to the world, as you're the only one that refuses to see it. Hell, you might as well keep saying those things out loud so you can make yourself believe in your words. I mean, I was inches away from a main event match last week, tagging along with your husband against your new friend in Crystal Hilton while you were getting your ass kicked by Mercedes Lewis in a Trauma match. Sure, I lost that match, but I have the dignity to say that Crystal Hilton was the better woman that night... Something you don't seem to have the capacity to do. Your speeches about "black marks in your record" have gotten so old enough. And I'm pretty sure you're going to blame Mercedes and BWA for your last loss. Just like you're likely to blame Christian for your loss in the week before. And then me for the other one. And then Ayla Saint James for the one in that battle royale where you ended up lying on the ringside while I was on my way to become the champion that nobody was looking forward to... And the one woman that you vowed so assertively to take down and prove the entire roster and the fan base of this company that YOU are the next big thing, but haven't made a single move ever since you've become the #1 contender.
And that is the main difference between you and me, Shelly. I have proof... You only have words.
Which, by the way, begs the question: who's the next to blame? Will it be Crystal Hilton, the one that you seem to be getting along with quite well to a point she agreed with carrying your load around in a tag team that's destined to failure? Maybe it'll be your own husband, Alex, for not training you well enough to overcome the odds? Or maybe you'll join the trend and blame Leonard Fox, because that seems to be the "on" thing to do...
Why don't you blame yourself for a change? Our old friend Crystal likes to say that "perfection never fails"... Newsflash, nobody is perfect... I know for a fact that I'm not, and you're not any better. Knowing our weaknesses and admitting our mistakes is the first and most important step to become better... And no, that won't make you any less deserving of being a champion, or facing one for that matter. And walking around with your nose up high and this whole "holier than thou" attitude won't make you any more deserving either.
And most important of all, something that you seem not to realize, even though you pride in being the "Strong Style Starlet" like it meant some kind of big deal: wasting the Women's World Championship... The Starlets World Championship in the career of a selfish, egotistical, stuck-up, annoying waste of air time would be finishing up with destroying the core of an already weakened segment that is the nCw Women's Division. You see, I'm not the champion because I want to rub it in the face of anyone, but because I want to create a new legacy, not only for myself, but to lead this new band of women into an era of better fights, most intense and hard-fought, so people can look at us, Female Wrestlers, Starlets, and know they're getting more than a two-minute half baked diva ass shaking stravaganza.
You may not agree with this idea, but if this championship means no more than bragging rights for you, and screw the rest of the world...
You don't deserve this championship more than I do.