Post by JackHammer on Sept 23, 2011 16:48:00 GMT -6
It's a beautiful sunny day in California as they step off the luxury bus. It has been a long trip, but everybody has forgotten how long it took them to get here as they have reached their final destination. The bus pulls into the designated area as the Chi-Town Terror gets up and looks at all of the excited faces who don't happen to be looking at him. Instead they are climbing over each other trying to get a glimpse out of the window to look at their surroundings. JackHammer clears his throat to attempt to speak over the commotion of the kids who have earned this trip through the hard work in their communities and giving back to others. He can't help but smile as he can sense their anticipation.
JackHammer: Ok....ok. Boys and girls. Children of all ages. We have arrived at the "Happiest Place on Earth", where dreams really do come true. Ladies and gentleman, I give you Disneyland!!![/color]
You can hear a chorus of cheers break out as no matter how old there really is something about this place that draws out the happiness in you from when you were a kid as JackHammer breaks out the ground rules.[/color]
JackHammer: I know you guys have waited for what seems like forever to get here. But, now that we are I know you know the rules. But, I will go over them one more time before we get off the bus. There will be no pushing, shoving, arguing, b*tch slapping or stealing of any motorized carts from the elderly. If I catch any of you doing this, I will be forced to have you removed from the park and you will sit on the bus all day and into the evening until our day here is finished. Remember, we only have one day to soak all of this in before we have to get back to Chicago as I have business to attend too tomorrow night. So do we have a deal?[/color]
The kids all in unison agree through the muddled laughter of the jokes made towards the end of his rant as JackHammer looks them over.[/color]
JackHammer: All right then. What are you doing still sitting in those seats? Get the hell up and lets get on those rides!![/color]
The kids rush towards the front of the bus as JackHammer is the first one off and tries to organize the madness.[/color]
JackHammer: Okay! Let's get into pair of two's and we will head towards the ticket window.[/color]
The kids from around the ages of junior high and high school age all get into their pairs as they head up to the window. JackHammer walks up to the cashier and asks for the price.[/color]
DISNEYLAND ATTENDANT: And how many is in your group today?[/color]
JackHammer: I believe there is thirty two? Including myself.[/color]
DISNEYLAND ATTENDANT: Okay, well that brings your grand total too....two thousand, five hundred and twenty eight dollars.[/color]
JackHammer: HOLY SH*T! Are you kidding me?[/color]
DISNEYLAND ATTENDANT: Uhm...no sir. It is seventy nine dollars a piece for a one day pass. Would you like a calculator?[/color]
JackHammer: Heh...no. That will be okay.[/color]
DISNEYLAND ATTENDANT: I would also state that we would like you to refrain from the use of profanity while your in the park.[/color]
Alrighty then you smiling little b*tch, JackHammer thinks to himself as he produces his credit card.[/color]
JackHammer: No, that won't be necessary. Here ya go.[/color]
JackHammer reluctantly hands over the credit card as she slides it through as he turns back and nods at the children who attempt to remain patient. He turns back and signs the slip as she produces the armbands for each child. Two at a time they all go through the gates and what opens up to them is the wonderful world of Disney.
JackHammer takes a map as half the kids go one way and the other half stay surprisingly with the NCW Superstar. As he attempts to decide where the go first in this thrill park.[/color]
JackHammer: Well, where do we want to go first? Big Thunder Railroad Mountain? Or do we go for the guts on the first shot and go to Space Mountain?[/color]
There is minimal debate as the group decides to go to Space Mountain as we all would and they begin the make there way through the Magic Kingdom. There are countless visions of Mickey and Donald as they stop ever so often to go half a mile around the park to go stand in line.[/color]
JackHammer: How in the hell?[/color]
As far as he knew they were the first one's in the park. But, somehow there is already a line an hour long for the ride. Almost as if these Japanese tourist shot up out of a hatch from somewhere to cut in front of them. They wait and then wait for some more as they watch the TV monitors describing the enormous sensation of the ride along with analyzing how much steel went into it and the "fast facts" of the creation as you can hear the excitement of the others as they shoot off on the coaster as they wait there turn.
Which was well worth it as they blast off into the cosmos going seventy miles an hour on the coaster, through the twist and turns of the moutain as you can hear the screams of excitement and enjoyment of everybody on the ride as it finally ends and they comeback into the station. They laugh at each other at one of those camera stations that take your picture during the ride as even the toughest guys, JackHammer included looks like a little school girl as he screams through one of the turns.
JackHammer then turns towards his group as he has a bit of a surprise for them.[/color]
JackHammer: Okay, that was fun. Now what if I told you we had a little something special planned for today?[/color]
A hush of excitement comes over the group as JackHammer fills them in.[/color]
JackHammer: As most of you know NCW is now affiliated with cable tv and with that comes some special perks. What special perks you ask? Well, what if I told you were going to be test subjects for two never before seen special adventure rides that have yet to debut on your little map there.[/color]
You can see half of them excited while the other are not sold on being guinea pigs for a test ride on a roller coaster.[/color]
JackHammer: I assure you. Everything has been tested for safety. This is more for the "enjoyment of the experience".[/color]
With there minds set at ease, they set off the normal path and go to the newly, developed projects that have been patterned after two NCW superstars. One ride is fittingly called "The American Dreamer" and the other right beside it is called "The Terrorer". You can hear the ooh's and ahhs from the crowd looking at the two mammoth coasters.[/color]
JackHammer: Which one do you want to ride first?[/color]
JackHammer listens to the debate as most of them have no interest in riding the American Dreamer as it looks too big, too scary and frightening for most.[/color]
JackHammer: Let's ride it! It can't be that bad. I mean sure it looks like a bad mamma jamma, but surely it can't be that scary. I am sure it's bark is a lot louder than it's bite. Come on...[/color]
JackHammer hops in the first seat as the kids reluctantly get in afraid of the unknown. The ride starts out with a big hill at the beginning as it slowly begins to churn chain link by chain link up higher and higher giving you a nice view of the park. As soon as you reach the peak however it takes a nose dive right into the ground sending you on a real adrenaline rush and underground into a dark cavern where images of Joe Everyman pop out blowing hot air and smoke as his likeness pops out ever so often around a couple of curves. It then shoots you out of the cavern and up another hill and then a couple of turns returning you to the station.
You can hear everybody on the ride saying, "is that it"? "That wasn't bad at all". "This ride sucks". "It started out ok, but then it was a real let down". "It was too short".[/color]
JackHammer: So what did you guys think? It wasn't that bad was it?[/color]
A chorus of "boos" start up from the kids as JackHammer wasn't overly impressed with the ride either as he makes his way towards his ride.[/color]
JackHammer: Da*n! Tough crowd. I am afraid to see what you guys think of mine.[/color]
With the American Dreamer being a total flop the kids are more than willing to try the Terrorer as they have gotten over their inital reaction and expect more of the same of this one. They all load up in the coaster as JackHammer takes the first seat once again.
The music of "Becoming the Bull" by Atreyu begins to play. As they wait they can see another coaster in front of them take off with a couple of engineer looking types, for what appears to be a test run as this is normal to check out the track. As they begin to wait suddenly there coaster starts up and begins to follow the one in front of them. It starts off as the other coaster did but instead of building up slowly they appear to be going full throttle up the big incline.
They watch the coaster in front of them reach the peak as too see what is coming next and what they see scares the living **** out of them as the coaster full of engineers flies off the freaking track! You can hear blood curdling screams coming from the people both from the off track coaster and in there very own as there's seems destined for the same fate as they reach the apex. Instead it takes a hard right turn, through a twisting triple loop spinning them all around all the while the kids are screaming their bloody heads off demanding the ride be stopped. Waiting for the coaster to fall off the track. Another couple of small bumps in the track and a couple of more twist and turns and the ride pauses half way around in a half tunnel and C4 signs begins to flash! A huge explosion of pyro lets loose and the ride begins to go in REVERSE! Thus repeating the track they just took as it finally pulls into the station.
"Holy Sh*t" is all that can be heard as they proclaim it one of the "coolest" rides they have ever been on and one tries to out do the other saying how they knew the first coaster was a fake and try to play it off as if they weren't scared.[/color]
JackHammer: So what did you think? Is that piss I smell....and are you going to get sick?[/color]
JackHammer looks at a couple of the kids who don't appear to be doing so well and points them in the direction of the vomit bags and a change of shorts as he smiles at the affect of the ride.[/color]
JackHammer: Hey. I will catch up with you guys in a minute. I need to make a stop in this video booth for a moment.[/color]
The kids take a break and discuss the two rides as JackHammer walks over to the booth and deposits his money for the brief momento of Disneyland.[/color]
JackHammer: Kind of an odd preparation for our match don't you think Joe Everyman and Mark Evil. While you train hard and take your protein shakes and do what ever it is you do. I take some disadvantage kids to an amusement park half way across the country. But, if you think about it. It really just fits.
I mean your career has been nothing short of a roller coaster ride. You had your ups, then you had your downs. Then you find it within yourself to build yourself up once again and now your so fortunate to share the same ring with the Chi-Town Terror and the Texas Terror at the ppv. I would consider that a high point. But, now it is time for that roller coaster to take another downward spiral into the ground as all of your hopes will be dashed one more time, by JackHammer and Chris Cooper. But, that's your M.O. Ever so close, but in reality ever so far away.[/color]
The light in the booth begins to flash as five bucks don't buy you very much time these days inside of Disneyland as JackHammer sums it up, short and sweet so Mark Evil won't have to explain to Joe Everyman later on the video which he is watching because as far as JackHammer knows this isn't subtitled.[/color]
JackHammer: This place. It's where dreams come true Joe Everyman. If that was the case then you WOULD be the NCW Champion and every man, woman and child's American Dream would be exactly a nightmare. But, fortunately this place as nice as it seems is a land of fairy tales and make believe. They don't have wrestling rings here and you won't be wrestling a cartoon character from your childhood. No, now we have to face reality in the real world at Battle Grounds. You step in the same ring as I do and have to face me and Chris Cooper in a tag match with Mark Evil as your partner. Live and in living color, this will be no dream. This is what they would call the truth and that is something my friend you don't really want to hear. The time for talking is over with. Your reality check is coming, Sunday. I hope you ready cause I know I am.[/color]
The feed cuts off and spits out a little Disneyland imprinted disc on it as a souvenir. JackHammer steps out of the booth and lowers his shades as he walks back over to the crowd who wants to ride the ride once more as he smiles and obliges as the scene fades to black.[/color]
JackHammer: Ok....ok. Boys and girls. Children of all ages. We have arrived at the "Happiest Place on Earth", where dreams really do come true. Ladies and gentleman, I give you Disneyland!!![/color]
You can hear a chorus of cheers break out as no matter how old there really is something about this place that draws out the happiness in you from when you were a kid as JackHammer breaks out the ground rules.[/color]
JackHammer: I know you guys have waited for what seems like forever to get here. But, now that we are I know you know the rules. But, I will go over them one more time before we get off the bus. There will be no pushing, shoving, arguing, b*tch slapping or stealing of any motorized carts from the elderly. If I catch any of you doing this, I will be forced to have you removed from the park and you will sit on the bus all day and into the evening until our day here is finished. Remember, we only have one day to soak all of this in before we have to get back to Chicago as I have business to attend too tomorrow night. So do we have a deal?[/color]
The kids all in unison agree through the muddled laughter of the jokes made towards the end of his rant as JackHammer looks them over.[/color]
JackHammer: All right then. What are you doing still sitting in those seats? Get the hell up and lets get on those rides!![/color]
The kids rush towards the front of the bus as JackHammer is the first one off and tries to organize the madness.[/color]
JackHammer: Okay! Let's get into pair of two's and we will head towards the ticket window.[/color]
The kids from around the ages of junior high and high school age all get into their pairs as they head up to the window. JackHammer walks up to the cashier and asks for the price.[/color]
DISNEYLAND ATTENDANT: And how many is in your group today?[/color]
JackHammer: I believe there is thirty two? Including myself.[/color]
DISNEYLAND ATTENDANT: Okay, well that brings your grand total too....two thousand, five hundred and twenty eight dollars.[/color]
JackHammer: HOLY SH*T! Are you kidding me?[/color]
DISNEYLAND ATTENDANT: Uhm...no sir. It is seventy nine dollars a piece for a one day pass. Would you like a calculator?[/color]
JackHammer: Heh...no. That will be okay.[/color]
DISNEYLAND ATTENDANT: I would also state that we would like you to refrain from the use of profanity while your in the park.[/color]
Alrighty then you smiling little b*tch, JackHammer thinks to himself as he produces his credit card.[/color]
JackHammer: No, that won't be necessary. Here ya go.[/color]
JackHammer reluctantly hands over the credit card as she slides it through as he turns back and nods at the children who attempt to remain patient. He turns back and signs the slip as she produces the armbands for each child. Two at a time they all go through the gates and what opens up to them is the wonderful world of Disney.
JackHammer takes a map as half the kids go one way and the other half stay surprisingly with the NCW Superstar. As he attempts to decide where the go first in this thrill park.[/color]
JackHammer: Well, where do we want to go first? Big Thunder Railroad Mountain? Or do we go for the guts on the first shot and go to Space Mountain?[/color]
There is minimal debate as the group decides to go to Space Mountain as we all would and they begin the make there way through the Magic Kingdom. There are countless visions of Mickey and Donald as they stop ever so often to go half a mile around the park to go stand in line.[/color]
JackHammer: How in the hell?[/color]
As far as he knew they were the first one's in the park. But, somehow there is already a line an hour long for the ride. Almost as if these Japanese tourist shot up out of a hatch from somewhere to cut in front of them. They wait and then wait for some more as they watch the TV monitors describing the enormous sensation of the ride along with analyzing how much steel went into it and the "fast facts" of the creation as you can hear the excitement of the others as they shoot off on the coaster as they wait there turn.
Which was well worth it as they blast off into the cosmos going seventy miles an hour on the coaster, through the twist and turns of the moutain as you can hear the screams of excitement and enjoyment of everybody on the ride as it finally ends and they comeback into the station. They laugh at each other at one of those camera stations that take your picture during the ride as even the toughest guys, JackHammer included looks like a little school girl as he screams through one of the turns.
JackHammer then turns towards his group as he has a bit of a surprise for them.[/color]
JackHammer: Okay, that was fun. Now what if I told you we had a little something special planned for today?[/color]
A hush of excitement comes over the group as JackHammer fills them in.[/color]
JackHammer: As most of you know NCW is now affiliated with cable tv and with that comes some special perks. What special perks you ask? Well, what if I told you were going to be test subjects for two never before seen special adventure rides that have yet to debut on your little map there.[/color]
You can see half of them excited while the other are not sold on being guinea pigs for a test ride on a roller coaster.[/color]
JackHammer: I assure you. Everything has been tested for safety. This is more for the "enjoyment of the experience".[/color]
With there minds set at ease, they set off the normal path and go to the newly, developed projects that have been patterned after two NCW superstars. One ride is fittingly called "The American Dreamer" and the other right beside it is called "The Terrorer". You can hear the ooh's and ahhs from the crowd looking at the two mammoth coasters.[/color]
JackHammer: Which one do you want to ride first?[/color]
JackHammer listens to the debate as most of them have no interest in riding the American Dreamer as it looks too big, too scary and frightening for most.[/color]
JackHammer: Let's ride it! It can't be that bad. I mean sure it looks like a bad mamma jamma, but surely it can't be that scary. I am sure it's bark is a lot louder than it's bite. Come on...[/color]
JackHammer hops in the first seat as the kids reluctantly get in afraid of the unknown. The ride starts out with a big hill at the beginning as it slowly begins to churn chain link by chain link up higher and higher giving you a nice view of the park. As soon as you reach the peak however it takes a nose dive right into the ground sending you on a real adrenaline rush and underground into a dark cavern where images of Joe Everyman pop out blowing hot air and smoke as his likeness pops out ever so often around a couple of curves. It then shoots you out of the cavern and up another hill and then a couple of turns returning you to the station.
You can hear everybody on the ride saying, "is that it"? "That wasn't bad at all". "This ride sucks". "It started out ok, but then it was a real let down". "It was too short".[/color]
JackHammer: So what did you guys think? It wasn't that bad was it?[/color]
A chorus of "boos" start up from the kids as JackHammer wasn't overly impressed with the ride either as he makes his way towards his ride.[/color]
JackHammer: Da*n! Tough crowd. I am afraid to see what you guys think of mine.[/color]
With the American Dreamer being a total flop the kids are more than willing to try the Terrorer as they have gotten over their inital reaction and expect more of the same of this one. They all load up in the coaster as JackHammer takes the first seat once again.
The music of "Becoming the Bull" by Atreyu begins to play. As they wait they can see another coaster in front of them take off with a couple of engineer looking types, for what appears to be a test run as this is normal to check out the track. As they begin to wait suddenly there coaster starts up and begins to follow the one in front of them. It starts off as the other coaster did but instead of building up slowly they appear to be going full throttle up the big incline.
They watch the coaster in front of them reach the peak as too see what is coming next and what they see scares the living **** out of them as the coaster full of engineers flies off the freaking track! You can hear blood curdling screams coming from the people both from the off track coaster and in there very own as there's seems destined for the same fate as they reach the apex. Instead it takes a hard right turn, through a twisting triple loop spinning them all around all the while the kids are screaming their bloody heads off demanding the ride be stopped. Waiting for the coaster to fall off the track. Another couple of small bumps in the track and a couple of more twist and turns and the ride pauses half way around in a half tunnel and C4 signs begins to flash! A huge explosion of pyro lets loose and the ride begins to go in REVERSE! Thus repeating the track they just took as it finally pulls into the station.
"Holy Sh*t" is all that can be heard as they proclaim it one of the "coolest" rides they have ever been on and one tries to out do the other saying how they knew the first coaster was a fake and try to play it off as if they weren't scared.[/color]
JackHammer: So what did you think? Is that piss I smell....and are you going to get sick?[/color]
JackHammer looks at a couple of the kids who don't appear to be doing so well and points them in the direction of the vomit bags and a change of shorts as he smiles at the affect of the ride.[/color]
JackHammer: Hey. I will catch up with you guys in a minute. I need to make a stop in this video booth for a moment.[/color]
The kids take a break and discuss the two rides as JackHammer walks over to the booth and deposits his money for the brief momento of Disneyland.[/color]
JackHammer: Kind of an odd preparation for our match don't you think Joe Everyman and Mark Evil. While you train hard and take your protein shakes and do what ever it is you do. I take some disadvantage kids to an amusement park half way across the country. But, if you think about it. It really just fits.
I mean your career has been nothing short of a roller coaster ride. You had your ups, then you had your downs. Then you find it within yourself to build yourself up once again and now your so fortunate to share the same ring with the Chi-Town Terror and the Texas Terror at the ppv. I would consider that a high point. But, now it is time for that roller coaster to take another downward spiral into the ground as all of your hopes will be dashed one more time, by JackHammer and Chris Cooper. But, that's your M.O. Ever so close, but in reality ever so far away.[/color]
The light in the booth begins to flash as five bucks don't buy you very much time these days inside of Disneyland as JackHammer sums it up, short and sweet so Mark Evil won't have to explain to Joe Everyman later on the video which he is watching because as far as JackHammer knows this isn't subtitled.[/color]
JackHammer: This place. It's where dreams come true Joe Everyman. If that was the case then you WOULD be the NCW Champion and every man, woman and child's American Dream would be exactly a nightmare. But, fortunately this place as nice as it seems is a land of fairy tales and make believe. They don't have wrestling rings here and you won't be wrestling a cartoon character from your childhood. No, now we have to face reality in the real world at Battle Grounds. You step in the same ring as I do and have to face me and Chris Cooper in a tag match with Mark Evil as your partner. Live and in living color, this will be no dream. This is what they would call the truth and that is something my friend you don't really want to hear. The time for talking is over with. Your reality check is coming, Sunday. I hope you ready cause I know I am.[/color]
The feed cuts off and spits out a little Disneyland imprinted disc on it as a souvenir. JackHammer steps out of the booth and lowers his shades as he walks back over to the crowd who wants to ride the ride once more as he smiles and obliges as the scene fades to black.[/color]