Post by Alex Jones on Sept 24, 2011 23:34:03 GMT -6
I stand alone in my home. No children laughing. No wife’s voice. Not sounds of music or television. Just myself and the silence. I’m alone with my thoughts. This is the one time I am ever truly afraid. You see in front of the camera, in that fake world of NCW where I am an arrogant and brash individual with a cocky nature and an even more arrogant demeanour when I am home alone, I am just Alexander Jones. I’m a flawed man insecure about his own abilities and even though I have fans and enemies alike singing my praises and telling me I am as good as I have said my own mind and heart scream with fear. The great questions of my own existence....
What if....
What if I fail?...
What if I’m not that good?....
What if It’s all been lucky?
What if I am not the man I was?
What if the last few months have been my final run and my final
shot?....
What if....
I look over at my desk. My appointment book open telling me where I have to be and when and why. On the desk I have various pictures scattered about. Shelly and I on our wedding day. Me holding our son for the first time. A big family photo of Myself, Shelly, Angel, the kids, Rob, Chris, Sandy and Sydney as well as Shelly’s parents, of course Rob and I are over separate sides. We looked so happy. My eyes focus on another picture. I pick it up and smile for a brief moment as my heart slowly breaks apart. The picture is of myself and Dylan, my brother who my son is named after......
What if....
What if I fail?...
What if I’m not that good?....
What if It’s all been lucky?
What if I am not the man I was?
What if the last few months have been my final run and my final
shot?....
What if....
I look over at my desk. My appointment book open telling me where I have to be and when and why. On the desk I have various pictures scattered about. Shelly and I on our wedding day. Me holding our son for the first time. A big family photo of Myself, Shelly, Angel, the kids, Rob, Chris, Sandy and Sydney as well as Shelly’s parents, of course Rob and I are over separate sides. We looked so happy. My eyes focus on another picture. I pick it up and smile for a brief moment as my heart slowly breaks apart. The picture is of myself and Dylan, my brother who my son is named after......
Dallas Texas-7 Years ago....
“Dyl....I promise I’ll be home....”
I smiled at my younger brother. His eyes lighting up as I put my hand on his shoulder.....
“Alex you promised you’d take me with you....”
I sighed knowing that I had promised. Our mother stopped it...
“I know bro but mom told me that you had to be sixteen.....you still have six months......”
I know his heart sank.......How could I tell him I was leaving on tour to take up a contract offer with a major wrestling organisation?....
“Look I’ll be going for a while little bro.....Charlie will be here to look after you....”
I looked up smiling at my younger sister, she just rolled her eyes hating the fact with me gone she was the oldest and had to take care of our baby brother.....
“Until then just watch TV you’ll be able to see me...”
I smiled, just thinking about getting in the ring in front of thousands of people made my heart race....
“I’ll be following you Alex. I’m going to train and be a better wrestler than you!...”
Dylan smirked, arrogant and cocky, must be a family thing.....
“Maybe we can team up and be like all the best brother tag teams?. Like the Steiners, The Hardyz and Edge and Christian....”
I smirked back at him and shook my head.
“Edge and Christian aren’t really brothers D...but I’d love for that to happen little bro....just train hard...I left my old gym bag in your room....I got to go...take care of mom guys...I love you both....”
They smiled at me, things at home were finally good after my dad died. My mom was working, my sister had started training in muay thai and Brazilian jiu jitsu, my little brother wanted to follow in my footsteps........three years later my mother was dying, I was too busy to go to the funeral, I was about to win my first world title. My younger brother has been in the same company as me and showed promise but was released due to the drug habit that was going to take his life three years later.......my sister pulled away and now never talks to me.....my family is now my son, my step daughter and my wife......and I love my family....but my passion remains and my fire to be the best is always there.....
“Dyl....I promise I’ll be home....”
I smiled at my younger brother. His eyes lighting up as I put my hand on his shoulder.....
“Alex you promised you’d take me with you....”
I sighed knowing that I had promised. Our mother stopped it...
“I know bro but mom told me that you had to be sixteen.....you still have six months......”
I know his heart sank.......How could I tell him I was leaving on tour to take up a contract offer with a major wrestling organisation?....
“Look I’ll be going for a while little bro.....Charlie will be here to look after you....”
I looked up smiling at my younger sister, she just rolled her eyes hating the fact with me gone she was the oldest and had to take care of our baby brother.....
“Until then just watch TV you’ll be able to see me...”
I smiled, just thinking about getting in the ring in front of thousands of people made my heart race....
“I’ll be following you Alex. I’m going to train and be a better wrestler than you!...”
Dylan smirked, arrogant and cocky, must be a family thing.....
“Maybe we can team up and be like all the best brother tag teams?. Like the Steiners, The Hardyz and Edge and Christian....”
I smirked back at him and shook my head.
“Edge and Christian aren’t really brothers D...but I’d love for that to happen little bro....just train hard...I left my old gym bag in your room....I got to go...take care of mom guys...I love you both....”
They smiled at me, things at home were finally good after my dad died. My mom was working, my sister had started training in muay thai and Brazilian jiu jitsu, my little brother wanted to follow in my footsteps........three years later my mother was dying, I was too busy to go to the funeral, I was about to win my first world title. My younger brother has been in the same company as me and showed promise but was released due to the drug habit that was going to take his life three years later.......my sister pulled away and now never talks to me.....my family is now my son, my step daughter and my wife......and I love my family....but my passion remains and my fire to be the best is always there.....
“The countdown is on isn’t it?...”
I smile and shake my head, my sunglasses hiding my bright blue eyes as I sit in the sun. My dark brown hair spiked up.
“Only a few days left until I get a chance to regain a title that has become THE title to hold in NCW. See Venom made the National title special, he made it worth holding. Then slowly I also made the title special. Roberto Verona was able to be the best on that night. To be clear I have never said Roberto is BETTER than me. I give him respect because he earned it but I feel that in my heart I am one of the best in NCW and eight times out of ten I beat Verona. He was able to get the better of me by being on his game and on that night being the best Roberto he can be...”
“But I need to be the best Alex Jones I can be....”
“If I get in the ring and do what only I can do I will be National champion again, This match isn’t about my hatred for Leonard Fox, this isn’t about my feelings towards being misused. This match is about the National title and the fact the winner will be able to lay claim to being a champion and being better than the other man. See Christian is in this match to make up numbers. What did he go to earn it?. He beat Todd Williams?.....amazing...in that case half the damn roster deserves a National title shot....”
I smirk and pause for a moment...did I just make a joke at my good friends expense?..yes I did....
“See Christian while I do believe you to be a talented man your family annoys the **** out of me. You sister is a loud mouthed arrogant bitch who has about as much right holding the starlets title as you do being in this match. You are here for one reason and one reason only. Because Leonard Fox hates Roberto Verona and wants the National title on someone else. Leonard knew I had a rematch clause and he realises if I become National champion my crosshairs are no longer on his pretty boy world champion....”
“You’ve been put here because with both of us in this match we both have an equal shot at winning the belt and leaving Verona without a title and without the power to instigate the change he believes needs to happen. That is why you’re here Christian, until you prove that you’re in NCW for the long haul I don’t believe you deserve anything except an ass kicking.,...”
“On the other hand we have Roberto Verona. A man who in a short time has earned respect from almost everyone in this company. Earning respect the way you did is not easy. You were loud, brash and obviously smart. You did it by backing up your words in the ring and showing how good you are and how dominant you could be. And honestly I can say it now and not feel like an idiot....you will be a world champion some day Roberto....”
I smile...
“But not now....”
“See you have what is known as untapped talent. You have amazing potential and while you did BEAT me I am better than you. This is something I know and don’t get it twisted here, I don’t know that I will win on Sunday I just know that I can win and if I don’t it’ll be because the better man beat me on the night. You might not be “any old champion” but I’m not “any old challenger”. I’m a two time X-Division champion, former tag team champion, I have beaten the best in NCW and I was NCW’s savior when Adam Knite tried to remould it in his own image....”
“And you’re not the only one who can separate business and personal Roberto. See I like you, I do, but when I get in that ring I will do everything in my power to break you in half and take the NCW National title home with me. I will throw everything I have at you, my entire being will be aimed in one direction. Everything I am Roberto, Everything I have ever been and will ever be will be on the line and in my heart of hearts I know that I can beat you and Christian, I know that I can be champion again and I know that I can go on to be a dominant force again”
“No longer will I be ignored, swept under the rug and forced to be the curtain jerker on the b show as my wife’s sidekick. I will be in the main event where I belong entertaining the world and showing why I am the best ***damn wrestler on this planet on planet Helmsphere, in this UNIVERSE and in any universe. Coming from anyone else this would be an empty boast but coming from me there is a small amount of validity because I AM THAT ****ING GOOD.....”
I sit back and sigh deeply....
“But there will always be those people wanting me to prove it, to beat this guy or that guy or win the world title even though twice now I have come close, within seconds of being world champion only to have it taken away...”
Ahhh Kayfabe anyone?....
“But hey who am I to judge right?......People can say what they want about me but in the end it’s on me to prove my worth and this Sunday I have my shot at it.....this Sunday I get a shot at being a two time National champion.....and I refuse to waste it....”
I smile and shake my head, my sunglasses hiding my bright blue eyes as I sit in the sun. My dark brown hair spiked up.
“Only a few days left until I get a chance to regain a title that has become THE title to hold in NCW. See Venom made the National title special, he made it worth holding. Then slowly I also made the title special. Roberto Verona was able to be the best on that night. To be clear I have never said Roberto is BETTER than me. I give him respect because he earned it but I feel that in my heart I am one of the best in NCW and eight times out of ten I beat Verona. He was able to get the better of me by being on his game and on that night being the best Roberto he can be...”
“But I need to be the best Alex Jones I can be....”
“If I get in the ring and do what only I can do I will be National champion again, This match isn’t about my hatred for Leonard Fox, this isn’t about my feelings towards being misused. This match is about the National title and the fact the winner will be able to lay claim to being a champion and being better than the other man. See Christian is in this match to make up numbers. What did he go to earn it?. He beat Todd Williams?.....amazing...in that case half the damn roster deserves a National title shot....”
I smirk and pause for a moment...did I just make a joke at my good friends expense?..yes I did....
“See Christian while I do believe you to be a talented man your family annoys the **** out of me. You sister is a loud mouthed arrogant bitch who has about as much right holding the starlets title as you do being in this match. You are here for one reason and one reason only. Because Leonard Fox hates Roberto Verona and wants the National title on someone else. Leonard knew I had a rematch clause and he realises if I become National champion my crosshairs are no longer on his pretty boy world champion....”
“You’ve been put here because with both of us in this match we both have an equal shot at winning the belt and leaving Verona without a title and without the power to instigate the change he believes needs to happen. That is why you’re here Christian, until you prove that you’re in NCW for the long haul I don’t believe you deserve anything except an ass kicking.,...”
“On the other hand we have Roberto Verona. A man who in a short time has earned respect from almost everyone in this company. Earning respect the way you did is not easy. You were loud, brash and obviously smart. You did it by backing up your words in the ring and showing how good you are and how dominant you could be. And honestly I can say it now and not feel like an idiot....you will be a world champion some day Roberto....”
I smile...
“But not now....”
“See you have what is known as untapped talent. You have amazing potential and while you did BEAT me I am better than you. This is something I know and don’t get it twisted here, I don’t know that I will win on Sunday I just know that I can win and if I don’t it’ll be because the better man beat me on the night. You might not be “any old champion” but I’m not “any old challenger”. I’m a two time X-Division champion, former tag team champion, I have beaten the best in NCW and I was NCW’s savior when Adam Knite tried to remould it in his own image....”
“And you’re not the only one who can separate business and personal Roberto. See I like you, I do, but when I get in that ring I will do everything in my power to break you in half and take the NCW National title home with me. I will throw everything I have at you, my entire being will be aimed in one direction. Everything I am Roberto, Everything I have ever been and will ever be will be on the line and in my heart of hearts I know that I can beat you and Christian, I know that I can be champion again and I know that I can go on to be a dominant force again”
“No longer will I be ignored, swept under the rug and forced to be the curtain jerker on the b show as my wife’s sidekick. I will be in the main event where I belong entertaining the world and showing why I am the best ***damn wrestler on this planet on planet Helmsphere, in this UNIVERSE and in any universe. Coming from anyone else this would be an empty boast but coming from me there is a small amount of validity because I AM THAT ****ING GOOD.....”
I sit back and sigh deeply....
“But there will always be those people wanting me to prove it, to beat this guy or that guy or win the world title even though twice now I have come close, within seconds of being world champion only to have it taken away...”
Ahhh Kayfabe anyone?....
“But hey who am I to judge right?......People can say what they want about me but in the end it’s on me to prove my worth and this Sunday I have my shot at it.....this Sunday I get a shot at being a two time National champion.....and I refuse to waste it....”