Post by Mercedes Vargas on Sept 25, 2011 4:08:05 GMT -6
1:05 PM
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 23, 2011
DR. BEATRIZ SANTOS
LOS ANGELES, CA
“So, you say you're suffering from claustrophobia?”
“I like to believe that, but I'm not quite so sure.”
(Mercedes vising her therapist ffice.)
Therapist: The fear of being in closed spaces can be traumatic. Tell me, what led to this experience for you?
Mercedes: Do you really want know?
Therapist: Well, if I am to help you -
Mercedes: I don't NEED help.
Therapist: Would you at least tell me your story.
Mercedes: Oh, alright, fine.
(Flashback. Mercedes and Carmen are waiting outside an elevator.)
Mercedes: “You don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into.”
Carmen: “Oh, I think I do.”
Mercedes: “Did I mention that this interview is going to be boring?"
Carmen: “Aren’t most interviews are?”
(The elevator door opens and they walk in as a few people are on board.)
Mercedes: "I had no idea today would be so busy."
Carmen: "Yeah."
(They are greeted with a warm handshake from Passenger # 1.)
Passenger # 1: "Please, call me Admiral. And what floor would you like, miss?"
Mercedes: "12th, please."
Passenger # 1: "Is that your final answer?"
Mercedes: "What?"
Passenger # 1: "Is that your final answer?"
Mercedes: (sighs) "Yes, that is my final answer."
(The elevator door close.)
Passenger # 1: "This is lift number 1, ready for ascent to 2nd floor. Waiting for permission to depart, over."
(The elevator jolts going up to the next floor as the doors open again.)
Passenger # 2: "Ding."
Passenger # 5: (running towards elevator) "Wait!"
(Passenger # 4 holds the doors open as Passenger # 3 steps in.)
Passenger # 3: "Thanks."
Passenger # 2: (to Passenger # 3) "Hey, Clark. How was your day?"
Passenger # 3: "I’m sorry, what?"
Passenger # 1: "This is lift number 1, ready for ascent to 3rd floor. Waiting for permission to depart, over."
(The elevator starts up again and stops at the next floor.)
Passenger # 2: "Ding."
Mercedes: “I’m sorry I dragged you into this.”
Carmen: “I’m sorry I listened.”
Mercedes: "Since when did you ever listen to me? It's usually the other way around."
(The door opens and Passenger # 6 walks in with a clear bottle of apple juice.)
Passenger # 6: (starts drinking) "Ah, there’s nothing like your own urine to quench your thirst. Does anybody want some?" (offers bottle)
Carmen: "Mercedes?"
Mercedes: "Yes, Carmen?"
Carmen: "I think I’m going to be sick."
Passenger # 1: "That will be $2.50."
Passenger # 3: "Since when did we have to pay to ride the elevator?"
Passenger # 1: "You don’t, but you have to pay on this one. And by the way, it’s the lift.”
Passenger # 3: “The lift? Oh, you mean the elevator.”
Passenger # 1: (annoyed) “No, I mean the lift.”
Passenger # 3: “I should know what it’s called. Besides, elevators were invented in the United States.”
Passenger # 1: “Perhaps. But the language was invented in England.”
Passenger # 3: "Yeah, and so was soccer, or as you call it, football. (to himself) Too bad you guys suck at it.”
Passenger # 1: "I beg your pardon? I'll have you know that -"
Passenger # 3: "England was embarrassed in the World Cup?"
Passenger # 1: "And the United States didn't fare any better in that very tournament either, so there! At least we did win the World Cup."
Passenger # 3: "Yeah, some 40-plus years ago."
Passenger # 1: "And it must be embarrassing to know that your women's team manged to get the job done twice."
(While Passenger # 1 and Passenger # 3 are arguing, Passenger # 6 turns to a mother and her daughter in a Girls Scout uniform.)
Passenger # 6: (to Girl) "Hey, whatcha got there?"
Girl: "What does it look like, you idiot? It's Girl Scout cookies."
Mother: (appalled) "Elizabeth! You apologize this instant!"
Girl: "Would you like to buy some?"
Passenger # 6: "I would have to respectfully decline, thank you."
Girl: "So YOU don't want to BUY Girl Scout COOKIES?"
Passenger # 2: "Meow?"
Passenger # 5: (eating a sandwich; to Passenger # 3) "Hey, wanna see what in muh mouf?"
Mercedes: "It's official: this is the elevator from hell."
Carmen: "And if you had to choose between this, and being out in the middle of nowhere?"
(Passenger # 4 grimace painfully while smacking her forehead.)
Passenger # 4muttering) “Shut up, all of you just shut UP!”
Mercedes: (fanning herself) What is that smell?
Passenger # 5: (sheepishly) Sorry, had to break wind.
Mercedes: "I'll take getting lost every time."
Carmen: (holding her nose) Longest. Elevator ride. Ever.
Passenger # 1: This is lift number 1, ready for ascent to 11th floor. Waiting for permission to depart, over."
Passenger # 6: (burps) "Mmmmm....tasty." (to girl) "Got any more of those cookies?"
(The girl bursts into tears as her mother gives Passenger # 6 a withering stare before moving to the other side of the elevator.)
Passenger # 2: “Ding.”
(Three blonds enter the elevator. One of the other passengers hands out a religious tract and a nametag.)
Passenger # 2: “Vroom.”
Passenger # 3: (to the blonde girls) "What are you three so happy about?"
Blonde # 1: "We finished a jigsaw puzzle in the fastest time ever."
Blonde # 2: That's right, and it only took us 60 days."
Passenger # 3: "Sorry to rain on your parade, girls. People do puzzles all the time, some finish in a couple of days."
Blonde # 3: "Sure. But on the box it said 3 to 5 years."
Passenger # 4: Wouldn't it be great if this lift were to plummet to the floor, what do you think will happen?"
Passenger # 2: “Ding.”
(Mercedes and Carmen exchange looks as the elevator door finally opens to their floor.)
Mercedes/Carmen: Run!
Mercedes: "...and I believe that's about it."
Therapist: I don't get it.
Mercedes: Get what?
Therapist: How is having an usual encounter on an elevator have anything remotely to do with claustrophobia?
Mercedes: Are the good things that come to people who wait, the leftovers of people who went before them?
Therapist: We're out of time. Please show yourself out.
Mercedes: Does that mean I'm cured?
Therapist: Go. Now.
Mercedes: Winning. No, I mean leaving.
8:27 AM
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, 2011
Hello, everyone. Yes, I know it's been two months since the last recording and I deeply apologize for that but I promise this will never happen again. Before I begin, I just like to take time out and say no damage was done in the making of this video blog because Irene wasn't as bad as I had feared. For the most part, I was in LA when the storm hit the East Coast. And I feel sorry for you people next door in Joisy. I mean, damn, you guys got the worst of it. My heart goes to anyone who was deeply affected by the aftermath of that storm. But everything, more or less, is back to normal, so that's good news.
(Mercedes, wearing a robe, just as she is entering the kitchen area in her Queens, New York apartment. Stifling a yawn, she walks over to the kitchen table in the center of the room and sits down.)
A lot has changed in two months. Now, you may have noticed that I do not have a particular title anymore. Thing 1 and Thing 2, also known as Team Sapphism, also known as Bitches with Attitude, also known as Ayla Saint James and Rayne are your new NCW Women’s Tag Team Champions, for those of you who care. And for those of you who don't care, Bitches with Attitude are your new NCW Women's Tag Team Champions. And it's all my fault. I wish I could just crawl into a black hole and disappear. But you know what? If I did that, the terrorist would win. And I couldn't allow that. It would go against everything I stand for. I'll get to them in a moment, but first, I've got something to get off my chest.
So, Margaret, you beat me last week.
In a tag match match.
With Kelly Knite as your partner.
OH GOOOOOOOD FOR YOU, AND HOW WAS IT?! Was it better than housework? Better than sex?! OMG! WHO THE HELL CARES! The very thought of you, YOU, beating ME is a joke, an absolute JOKE! Just like your sister-in-law!
“Oh, leave Britney alone! Oh, leave Britney alone!”
(Mercedes turns in the direction of a large bird cage where an Amazon parrot is eating a walnut held by its foot.)
Mercedes: My brother's parrot. Apparently, he thought it was pretty funny to name the thing after me. Real piece of work, that one. The parrot, not my brother.
“Mercedes the Parrot”: (Squawk) Stop looking at me, swan! Stop looking at me, swan!
(Mercedes shakes her head before looking back at the camera.)
Mercedes: The same feelings I had about Freya hasn't changed. She was an embarrassment of a world champion in Ring of Beauty, she was an embarrassment of a world champion in AFPW, and an even worst commentator now, and she was an embarrassment of a singles competitor in New Championship Wrestling! Hell, I don't know what her husband sees in her. I don't even know what guys see in her, but it's no secret when she is amongst a group of them, she's given a rating of “E” for “Everyone.” As a matter of fact, she's like a damn supermarket.
“Mercedes the Parrot”: (Squawk) No line, no waiting! No line, no waiting!
Mercedes: Last week didn't change my opinion of you either, Megan. You still won't amount to anything in this business. Honestly, I can't believe what comes of your mouth – or what goes in, for that matter. OK, you know what? Maybe the reason why I'm a little antsy is because I'm not much of a morning person. Yeah, that's gotta be it. How about some breakfast?
“Mercedes the Parrot”: (Squawk) Make me a bicycle, clown! Make me a bicycle, clown!
Mercedes: Shut it, you! I wonder how Bradley likes his eggs?
(Mercedes takes a pair of raw eggs from the fridge. Just as she reached for the bacon, Mercedes jumped up and bumped her head on top of the fridge.)
“Mercedes the Parrot”: (Squawk) Momma cooked a breakfast with no hog! Momma cooked a breakfast with no hog!
Mercedes: I've learned that food can teach you a lot of things about life.
(The camera goes into a close-up of Mercedes holding one egg.)
Mercedes: This is your brain. (lifts up a frying pan) And this is alcohol. (placing egg on the kitchen counter) This is what happens to your brain after you drink alcohol.
(In one fluid motion, Mercedes brought the frying pan down hard against the egg. As she lifts the pan back up, we see the contents of the egg dripping from the bottom of the pan and on the floor.)
Mercedes: And this (glancing at the frying pan) is what your body goes through. Whether it's alcohol or crack cocain -
“Mercedes the Parrot”: (Squawk) Crack is whack! Crack is whack!
Mercedes: or whatever Freya does in her spare time, you Kanes sure love your vices, don't you?
“Mercedes the Parrot”: (Squawk) Messed around and got a triple double! Messed around and got a triple double!
Mercedes: Yeah, that a nice way of putting Megan's situation in perspective. Too much “messing around” does that to you. But I guess it couldn't be avoided. Just like the cancellation of your late night gig only after three weeks. Megan, I cannot wait to see the stupid look on your face when Kathleen and I become champions again. We don't think we can win back the Women's Tag Team Championships, we know we can win those titles back. But I'm not done yet, I'm just getting started.
(Mercedes rubs her hands expectantly with a smile on her face.)
So, we meet again, BWA. You don't know how long I've been waiting for this.
(Mercedes picks up a nearby calender and adjust it on the table. From what we can see, she has been marking x's on the calender towards the pay-per-view.)
I hope you two are enjoying your little reign, because each passing day, those titles have to be nice and polished, counter clockwise, of course, before they're given back to their rightful owners, that would be Kathleen Conway and myself, in case you're wondering. Ever since proving your might at the last pay-per-view, I really haven't been seeing any of this so-called “change” you've been promising. Wasn't this suppose to be “change we can believe in” ? I have yet to see it, girls. I mean, you got Tara Fenix on your side now, but that's neither here or there. I'm talking about the revolutionary hardline stance that you've been preaching week after week, month after month. It's been nearly a month, and nothing.
Making promises you can't keep, that's not a good thing if you want to enter the graces of the so-called “fans” you're trying to convert to your oh so worthy cause. If there's anything we can take away from Zelda Knite, it's that at least she had good intentions behind those promises, or did she? Maybe that should be next week's Knitelife poll question, you know, since she's taken over for Kelly and all? These fans, as fickle as they are, they don't forget very easily.
Here the thing, BWA. I believe in change, I really do. And that's why at Battlegrounds, what's a-changing are the tag team titles back to Opportunity. You want a fight? You want a challenge? You always had one, you just didn't know it yet, but you will this Sunday.
8:15 AM
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 23, 2011
WDCJ WASHINGTON, D.C./XM 145
[We open our scene with an brief exterior shot of the radio station. Fade out. Fade in and we're now in the parking lot area. The camera slowly pans over a few vehicles already lined up and we stop an empty space where soon the headlights of a black sedan pulls up. The engine cuts off and the car door opens. Behind a pair of sunglasses is Mercedes as she steps out of the car and slams the door behind her. She raises her sunglasses over her head. Walking across the parking lot, someone is filming her every move, but she doesn't seem to mind much.)
Mercedes: Another morning, another great day to be alive.
Camera person: How's it going?
Mercedes:: Oh, it's going.
(As she makes her way to the building, she pulls out a keychain remote, turns around, and points, activating the alarm.)
Mercedes: I know that I'm awake, but I still feel asleep, you know?
Camera person: I take it you didn't get enough sleep?
Mercedes: Oh, I slept like a baby. It just that days like today, you have to have the iron will to wake up this early. Even if you had four hours.
Camera person: So, what were you up to last night?
Mercedes: Ciao!
(Mercedes reaches the entrance and opens the door to the building as we fade.)
(Fade in on Mercedes just leaving the concession area. She uncaps a bottle of water and takes a small gulp before replacing the cap. Entering into one set of doors, she walks up towards an elevator and, as it opens, she stands aside as two people got off before she enters. The door closes.)
Camera person: So, this is your first time on this show?
Mercedes: Nope. This is my (holds up five fingers) fifth time. I'm pretty much like a celebrity, more or less.
(Camera fades out )
(We fade in again in the elevator as the door opens. Mercedes stops and looks to her left than her right before pointing in that direction.)
(Camera fades out )
(As we fade in once more, we find Mercedes waiting in the lobby area. We can hear an interview going on between the host and her guest at the moment. Mercedes distracts herself by playing “Angry Birds” on her iPhone.)
Mercedes: This game is addicting, I'm telling you.
(Camera fades out )
And we welcome you back to That Wrestling Show. Just a great panel we've had today. And there she is...the woman of the hour.
(Mercedes is finally brought into the studio followed by the person who has been filming her since her arrival. Behind a plexiglass window is the executive producer and talent coordinator, who both wave at them. Mercedes flashes a smile at the host and they hug before taking their seats.)
Host: Wow. It's been a long time. How are you?
Mercedes: Busy, Roz. Always busy. (laughing)
(Camera fades out )
(Fade in again on Mercedes from her point of view. A microphone is in front of her.)
Host: So, let's talk about your next event, it's you and Kathleen Conway in a re-match for the New Championship Wrestling Starlets Tag Team Championship against Ayla St. James and Rayne, one of six title matches scheduled for Battlegrounds. From the look on your face, you're just rearin' to go, aren't you?
Mercedes: I seem to give off that impression a lot, don't I? I don't know where to begin when it comes to those two. As much as I would like to get my hands on BWA and snap their necks, which Kathleen and I will probably do anyway, two days is just too long.
Host: A “Submission Elimination Xtreme” match. Quite a concept.
Mercedes: Oh yeah. In order to win, you have to eliminate both members of a team, only by submission, and there's only one rule.
Host: What's that?
Mercedes: There are none, which basically means that Kat and I get our way with Ayla and Rayne once we get in that ring, and trust me, for what they've got coming to them, they're going to wish they brought their field pass because we're going to be going places. First we'll go to Philadelphia, then to Boston, New York, next door to New Jersey, before we're back in DC and the arena, where Kat and I are going to enjoy making those two bitches scream for their lives.
(Camera fades out )
Host: You’re listening to That Wrestling Show. Standing in for Mark Slater, I am Rosalind Myers with my guest for the final hour, none other than Mercedes Vargas.
Mercedes: What's happened to “The Slate”?
Host: Called in sick, can you believe that?
Mercedes: Hope he gets better. Give him my love.
Host: Let’s take in some calls right now. We have Rich from Baltimore. Hey, Rich. Welcome to That Wrestling Show.
Caller # 1: Hey, Roz. Hey, Mercedes.
Mercedes: Hey, hey. How are you?
Caller # 1: Fantastic now that I'm talking to you. (Mercedes laughs) When you and Kathleen became the Women's Tag Team Champions, you two never defended the titles in all of the two months before losing them to BWA. Who do you blame for that, yourselves or Management?
Mercedes: Well, with me, you know that I never sugarcoat anything, I always speak what's on mind.. Regardless of how Kathleen and I won the titles the first time, it happened. Any number of options could have been presented here, the more obvious would be Alysson Gardner showing up, but she had to do what she had to do, Mercedes Lewis still wanted to go on with the match, and who were we to argue? Were we happy that it was a handicap situation? Despite what everyone would say, no. I, for one, wanted to get my hands on Alysson, so color me disappointed when she never showed. Like I say, a win is a win no matter how you get it. If there was someone to blame, I would put it squarely on the shoulders of management simply because we had a few tag teams in the women's division who very well could have challenged for the titles. It's not to say that the title shouldn't be defended on pay-per-view, but between Reborn and Picture Perfect, would it have killed them to at least had a title defense on TV? I thought the 4th Anniversary Show was a pretty good, and excuse the pun here (using finger quotes) “opportunity” for that to happen, but alas, it is what it is, so.
Host: Thanks for calling, Rich. Elizabeth from Dallas. What's your question, Elizabeth?
Caller # 2: Hey, Roz, how are you?
Host: I'm good, thanks for asking.
Mercedes: Hey, Elizabeth.
Caller # 2: Cowboys or Redskins Monday night?
Mercedes: Um, I'm going to have to say Romo and the Cowboys, sorry. (laughing)
Caller # 2: Boo! My question for you is who do you see as a bigger threat in your tag match, Rayne or Ayla St. James?
Mercedes: Biggest threat. I have to say Rayne. I mean, she's been in this business for 20+ years so she knows a lot more then I give her credit for, and I don't admit that very often.
Caller # 2: Who do you think might be eliminated first in the match?
Mercedes: If given a choice, I would have to say Rayne again. She's the stronger of the two, so getting rid of her would leave Ayla to fend for herself. It very well could be the case this Sunday.
(Camera fades out )
Host: Tell me a little more about Opportunity. How did you and Kathleen Conway came to be a tag team?
Mercedes: Well, believe it or not, Kathleen and I were mortal enemies, and out of the blue, management decided to find challengers for the then-vacant tag team titles after Every Man's Fantasy, Crystal Hilton and Zelda Knite, broke up.
Host: Right, and she also left the company after a contract dispute from what sources tell me.
Mercedes: That's the story and I'm sticking to it. Opportunity defined who we are and what we were given that night in London, England at Reborn, a favourable outcome which to this day we'll always be criticized for. Winning the belts again gives us another chance to live up to that name. It's not a matter of if, but WHEN we kick BWA's asses and get back our titles, there isn't going to be the same whining, bitching and moaning that was going on during our first reign, I promise you that. The very team that was randomly thrown together is now the only real threat in the tag team division, and I'm not making this up, it's the truth. There isn't a team in the women's division that comes even close.
(Camera fades out )
Host: So, after NCW, what's next for Mercedes Vargas?
Mercedes: Well, let's see. I still am Television Champion in 3WL, so I'm looking forward to my third title defense, and then... AFPW is back up after a short hiatus, and there's a tournament going on to crown a new Pride Champion, now that Crystal Hilton takes over as Talent Relations. And that's pretty much it.
Host: Well, Mercedes Vargas and Kathleen Conway, Opportunity, to take on Bitches with Attitude this Sunday for New Championship Wrestling at their Battlegrounds pay-per-view event. It's going to be a great show, so if you haven't gotten your tickets already -
Mercedes: Get them now, now NOW!
Host: Mercedes, best of luck to you this Sunday.
Mercedes: Aw, thanks, Roz.
Host: And once again, New Championship Wrestling presents Battlegrounds this Sunday at the Verizon Center. You're listening to That Wrestling Show.
Mercedes: TH-TH-TH-THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
(Mercedes removes the headset as she prepares to leave)
(Camera fades out )
Camera person: Well, how did you think it went?
Mercedes: Great.
(The lobby area as Mercedes makes her way to the elevator.)
Camera person: You, uh, didn't hold anything back when it came to the competition committee.
Mercedes: And you wonder why people are pissed off at Management right now. As far as I'm concerned, Ruston Bourne deserves every bit of the blame for not giving any of the girls at least a number one contendership between June and August. Kat and I would have done well if we at least had one title defense. Just saying.
(Mercedes walks into the elevator)
Camera person: So, what's next, Mercedes?
Mercedes: Hmm, I don't know. Smithsonian; maybe catch a show or concert at the Kennedy Center; visit the Houses of government; I heard there was an International Spy Museum.
Camera person: We're going to the International Spy Museum?!
Mercedes: We? Oh no, there's no 'we', Jason Dunn. I'm going International Spy Museum. See ya!
(When the doors opened again, Mercedes walks out into the entrance. Jason Dunn sighs as he calls out after her.)
Jason Dunn: But, but, I wanted to get my inner Bond on!
(The door closes in on him as the scene ends.)
And here we go again. Opportunity and BWA, parte dos. Didn't think this match would come down to one important person, the X-factor.
Me.
Might as well come out and say it: last week could have been worse. Losing to Megan Kane had to have been one of the most, if not THE most embarrassing loss of my career in this company. Nothing to Lose, I cost Kathleen and myself the New Championship Wrestling World Women's Tag Team Championship. Instead of crying because it was over, I smiled. Because this wasn't the end, this is...another opportunity.
But if any of you think this is the changing of the guard in the women's division, if you think this is the beginning of the Bitches with Attitude era, have I got news for you – YOU'RE DEAD WRONG! And you want to know why? because Bitches with Attitude aren't the real champions! They”re your next “pretenders to the throne! It's funny, Ayla, that you actually thought after what happened last month that Kathleen and I were done as a team.
WELL, THE PRICE IS WRONG, BITCH! And I can guarantee you two things: one, that you and Rayne are going to get your ass kicked tonight, and two, you both are on BORROWED TIME. BORROWED...TIME!
I guess out of all of us, I'm the only one who won't be apologizing to either of you. Not now, not ever. By kicking your asses, I'm not doing this for the fans, I'm not doing this for the Starlets; I'm not doing this for the Wrestlers. Hell, I'm not even doing this for Kathleen and myself. I'm doing this for you, Ayla and Rayne. You two need to be put in your place. And I can't think of a better way then this particular match. You've tested my limits before, now Kat and I get to return the favour. And I can promise you that someone is gonna be tapping that night.
Yeah, you keep changing your little strategy there, Rayne. You continue to stay up late at night and plot, and scheme all you want. You once said my promos are the “bathroom breaks” of NCW. Oh, yeah? Well, I don't see Zelda Knite coming off the couch and running to the arena to see you or Ayla. I don't see either of you handing out petitions for the Every Man's Fantasy reunion. Wait, do you hear that? Oh, that was the last call for Every Man's Fantasy, and you two just missed that last train. Awww..that's too bad.
No me mandes fruta. Don't bullsh*t me. Having threesomes with Leonard Fox (which probably explains why you both smell like Bengay, Viagra and Benefiber) isn't going to change how his company is run.. And why not add a stripper pole to your lingerie matches, that should be loads of fun, Rayne. You must have NCW confused with that other promotion up north, because the last time I checked, we didn't have those types of matches.
It's said that opportunity seldom knocks twice. Kathleen and I aren't planning on knocking on the door or breaking down the door, we plan on kicking them down. BWA, you may have the belts, you may even think we live in your world...
Now you'll play in ours.
On September 25 at Battlegrounds, everything will be ours. This match...is ours. Those Tag Titles? Ours. And your asses? I promise you...No, I guarantee you, as God as my witness, in Washington, D.C. at the Verizon Center...YOUR ASSES WILL BE OURS TONIGHT!
As for tonight's forecast, it reads a little bit different from my outlook. The winds of change will more like a cool ocean breeze. Because I'm primed and ready to stop...the...Rayne.
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 23, 2011
DR. BEATRIZ SANTOS
LOS ANGELES, CA
“So, you say you're suffering from claustrophobia?”
“I like to believe that, but I'm not quite so sure.”
(Mercedes vising her therapist ffice.)
Therapist: The fear of being in closed spaces can be traumatic. Tell me, what led to this experience for you?
Mercedes: Do you really want know?
Therapist: Well, if I am to help you -
Mercedes: I don't NEED help.
Therapist: Would you at least tell me your story.
Mercedes: Oh, alright, fine.
(Flashback. Mercedes and Carmen are waiting outside an elevator.)
Mercedes: “You don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into.”
Carmen: “Oh, I think I do.”
Mercedes: “Did I mention that this interview is going to be boring?"
Carmen: “Aren’t most interviews are?”
(The elevator door opens and they walk in as a few people are on board.)
Mercedes: "I had no idea today would be so busy."
Carmen: "Yeah."
(They are greeted with a warm handshake from Passenger # 1.)
Passenger # 1: "Please, call me Admiral. And what floor would you like, miss?"
Mercedes: "12th, please."
Passenger # 1: "Is that your final answer?"
Mercedes: "What?"
Passenger # 1: "Is that your final answer?"
Mercedes: (sighs) "Yes, that is my final answer."
(The elevator door close.)
Passenger # 1: "This is lift number 1, ready for ascent to 2nd floor. Waiting for permission to depart, over."
(The elevator jolts going up to the next floor as the doors open again.)
Passenger # 2: "Ding."
Passenger # 5: (running towards elevator) "Wait!"
(Passenger # 4 holds the doors open as Passenger # 3 steps in.)
Passenger # 3: "Thanks."
Passenger # 2: (to Passenger # 3) "Hey, Clark. How was your day?"
Passenger # 3: "I’m sorry, what?"
Passenger # 1: "This is lift number 1, ready for ascent to 3rd floor. Waiting for permission to depart, over."
(The elevator starts up again and stops at the next floor.)
Passenger # 2: "Ding."
Mercedes: “I’m sorry I dragged you into this.”
Carmen: “I’m sorry I listened.”
Mercedes: "Since when did you ever listen to me? It's usually the other way around."
(The door opens and Passenger # 6 walks in with a clear bottle of apple juice.)
Passenger # 6: (starts drinking) "Ah, there’s nothing like your own urine to quench your thirst. Does anybody want some?" (offers bottle)
Carmen: "Mercedes?"
Mercedes: "Yes, Carmen?"
Carmen: "I think I’m going to be sick."
Passenger # 1: "That will be $2.50."
Passenger # 3: "Since when did we have to pay to ride the elevator?"
Passenger # 1: "You don’t, but you have to pay on this one. And by the way, it’s the lift.”
Passenger # 3: “The lift? Oh, you mean the elevator.”
Passenger # 1: (annoyed) “No, I mean the lift.”
Passenger # 3: “I should know what it’s called. Besides, elevators were invented in the United States.”
Passenger # 1: “Perhaps. But the language was invented in England.”
Passenger # 3: "Yeah, and so was soccer, or as you call it, football. (to himself) Too bad you guys suck at it.”
Passenger # 1: "I beg your pardon? I'll have you know that -"
Passenger # 3: "England was embarrassed in the World Cup?"
Passenger # 1: "And the United States didn't fare any better in that very tournament either, so there! At least we did win the World Cup."
Passenger # 3: "Yeah, some 40-plus years ago."
Passenger # 1: "And it must be embarrassing to know that your women's team manged to get the job done twice."
(While Passenger # 1 and Passenger # 3 are arguing, Passenger # 6 turns to a mother and her daughter in a Girls Scout uniform.)
Passenger # 6: (to Girl) "Hey, whatcha got there?"
Girl: "What does it look like, you idiot? It's Girl Scout cookies."
Mother: (appalled) "Elizabeth! You apologize this instant!"
Girl: "Would you like to buy some?"
Passenger # 6: "I would have to respectfully decline, thank you."
Girl: "So YOU don't want to BUY Girl Scout COOKIES?"
Passenger # 2: "Meow?"
Passenger # 5: (eating a sandwich; to Passenger # 3) "Hey, wanna see what in muh mouf?"
Mercedes: "It's official: this is the elevator from hell."
Carmen: "And if you had to choose between this, and being out in the middle of nowhere?"
(Passenger # 4 grimace painfully while smacking her forehead.)
Passenger # 4muttering) “Shut up, all of you just shut UP!”
Mercedes: (fanning herself) What is that smell?
Passenger # 5: (sheepishly) Sorry, had to break wind.
Mercedes: "I'll take getting lost every time."
Carmen: (holding her nose) Longest. Elevator ride. Ever.
Passenger # 1: This is lift number 1, ready for ascent to 11th floor. Waiting for permission to depart, over."
Passenger # 6: (burps) "Mmmmm....tasty." (to girl) "Got any more of those cookies?"
(The girl bursts into tears as her mother gives Passenger # 6 a withering stare before moving to the other side of the elevator.)
Passenger # 2: “Ding.”
(Three blonds enter the elevator. One of the other passengers hands out a religious tract and a nametag.)
Passenger # 2: “Vroom.”
Passenger # 3: (to the blonde girls) "What are you three so happy about?"
Blonde # 1: "We finished a jigsaw puzzle in the fastest time ever."
Blonde # 2: That's right, and it only took us 60 days."
Passenger # 3: "Sorry to rain on your parade, girls. People do puzzles all the time, some finish in a couple of days."
Blonde # 3: "Sure. But on the box it said 3 to 5 years."
Passenger # 4: Wouldn't it be great if this lift were to plummet to the floor, what do you think will happen?"
Passenger # 2: “Ding.”
(Mercedes and Carmen exchange looks as the elevator door finally opens to their floor.)
Mercedes/Carmen: Run!
_______≈₪≈______
Mercedes: "...and I believe that's about it."
Therapist: I don't get it.
Mercedes: Get what?
Therapist: How is having an usual encounter on an elevator have anything remotely to do with claustrophobia?
Mercedes: Are the good things that come to people who wait, the leftovers of people who went before them?
Therapist: We're out of time. Please show yourself out.
Mercedes: Does that mean I'm cured?
Therapist: Go. Now.
Mercedes: Winning. No, I mean leaving.
_______≈₪≈______
8:27 AM
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 21, 2011
Hello, everyone. Yes, I know it's been two months since the last recording and I deeply apologize for that but I promise this will never happen again. Before I begin, I just like to take time out and say no damage was done in the making of this video blog because Irene wasn't as bad as I had feared. For the most part, I was in LA when the storm hit the East Coast. And I feel sorry for you people next door in Joisy. I mean, damn, you guys got the worst of it. My heart goes to anyone who was deeply affected by the aftermath of that storm. But everything, more or less, is back to normal, so that's good news.
(Mercedes, wearing a robe, just as she is entering the kitchen area in her Queens, New York apartment. Stifling a yawn, she walks over to the kitchen table in the center of the room and sits down.)
A lot has changed in two months. Now, you may have noticed that I do not have a particular title anymore. Thing 1 and Thing 2, also known as Team Sapphism, also known as Bitches with Attitude, also known as Ayla Saint James and Rayne are your new NCW Women’s Tag Team Champions, for those of you who care. And for those of you who don't care, Bitches with Attitude are your new NCW Women's Tag Team Champions. And it's all my fault. I wish I could just crawl into a black hole and disappear. But you know what? If I did that, the terrorist would win. And I couldn't allow that. It would go against everything I stand for. I'll get to them in a moment, but first, I've got something to get off my chest.
So, Margaret, you beat me last week.
In a tag match match.
With Kelly Knite as your partner.
OH GOOOOOOOD FOR YOU, AND HOW WAS IT?! Was it better than housework? Better than sex?! OMG! WHO THE HELL CARES! The very thought of you, YOU, beating ME is a joke, an absolute JOKE! Just like your sister-in-law!
“Oh, leave Britney alone! Oh, leave Britney alone!”
(Mercedes turns in the direction of a large bird cage where an Amazon parrot is eating a walnut held by its foot.)
Mercedes: My brother's parrot. Apparently, he thought it was pretty funny to name the thing after me. Real piece of work, that one. The parrot, not my brother.
“Mercedes the Parrot”: (Squawk) Stop looking at me, swan! Stop looking at me, swan!
(Mercedes shakes her head before looking back at the camera.)
Mercedes: The same feelings I had about Freya hasn't changed. She was an embarrassment of a world champion in Ring of Beauty, she was an embarrassment of a world champion in AFPW, and an even worst commentator now, and she was an embarrassment of a singles competitor in New Championship Wrestling! Hell, I don't know what her husband sees in her. I don't even know what guys see in her, but it's no secret when she is amongst a group of them, she's given a rating of “E” for “Everyone.” As a matter of fact, she's like a damn supermarket.
“Mercedes the Parrot”: (Squawk) No line, no waiting! No line, no waiting!
Mercedes: Last week didn't change my opinion of you either, Megan. You still won't amount to anything in this business. Honestly, I can't believe what comes of your mouth – or what goes in, for that matter. OK, you know what? Maybe the reason why I'm a little antsy is because I'm not much of a morning person. Yeah, that's gotta be it. How about some breakfast?
“Mercedes the Parrot”: (Squawk) Make me a bicycle, clown! Make me a bicycle, clown!
Mercedes: Shut it, you! I wonder how Bradley likes his eggs?
(Mercedes takes a pair of raw eggs from the fridge. Just as she reached for the bacon, Mercedes jumped up and bumped her head on top of the fridge.)
“Mercedes the Parrot”: (Squawk) Momma cooked a breakfast with no hog! Momma cooked a breakfast with no hog!
Mercedes: I've learned that food can teach you a lot of things about life.
(The camera goes into a close-up of Mercedes holding one egg.)
Mercedes: This is your brain. (lifts up a frying pan) And this is alcohol. (placing egg on the kitchen counter) This is what happens to your brain after you drink alcohol.
(In one fluid motion, Mercedes brought the frying pan down hard against the egg. As she lifts the pan back up, we see the contents of the egg dripping from the bottom of the pan and on the floor.)
Mercedes: And this (glancing at the frying pan) is what your body goes through. Whether it's alcohol or crack cocain -
“Mercedes the Parrot”: (Squawk) Crack is whack! Crack is whack!
Mercedes: or whatever Freya does in her spare time, you Kanes sure love your vices, don't you?
“Mercedes the Parrot”: (Squawk) Messed around and got a triple double! Messed around and got a triple double!
Mercedes: Yeah, that a nice way of putting Megan's situation in perspective. Too much “messing around” does that to you. But I guess it couldn't be avoided. Just like the cancellation of your late night gig only after three weeks. Megan, I cannot wait to see the stupid look on your face when Kathleen and I become champions again. We don't think we can win back the Women's Tag Team Championships, we know we can win those titles back. But I'm not done yet, I'm just getting started.
(Mercedes rubs her hands expectantly with a smile on her face.)
So, we meet again, BWA. You don't know how long I've been waiting for this.
(Mercedes picks up a nearby calender and adjust it on the table. From what we can see, she has been marking x's on the calender towards the pay-per-view.)
I hope you two are enjoying your little reign, because each passing day, those titles have to be nice and polished, counter clockwise, of course, before they're given back to their rightful owners, that would be Kathleen Conway and myself, in case you're wondering. Ever since proving your might at the last pay-per-view, I really haven't been seeing any of this so-called “change” you've been promising. Wasn't this suppose to be “change we can believe in” ? I have yet to see it, girls. I mean, you got Tara Fenix on your side now, but that's neither here or there. I'm talking about the revolutionary hardline stance that you've been preaching week after week, month after month. It's been nearly a month, and nothing.
Making promises you can't keep, that's not a good thing if you want to enter the graces of the so-called “fans” you're trying to convert to your oh so worthy cause. If there's anything we can take away from Zelda Knite, it's that at least she had good intentions behind those promises, or did she? Maybe that should be next week's Knitelife poll question, you know, since she's taken over for Kelly and all? These fans, as fickle as they are, they don't forget very easily.
Here the thing, BWA. I believe in change, I really do. And that's why at Battlegrounds, what's a-changing are the tag team titles back to Opportunity. You want a fight? You want a challenge? You always had one, you just didn't know it yet, but you will this Sunday.
_______≈₪≈______
8:15 AM
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 23, 2011
WDCJ WASHINGTON, D.C./XM 145
[We open our scene with an brief exterior shot of the radio station. Fade out. Fade in and we're now in the parking lot area. The camera slowly pans over a few vehicles already lined up and we stop an empty space where soon the headlights of a black sedan pulls up. The engine cuts off and the car door opens. Behind a pair of sunglasses is Mercedes as she steps out of the car and slams the door behind her. She raises her sunglasses over her head. Walking across the parking lot, someone is filming her every move, but she doesn't seem to mind much.)
Mercedes: Another morning, another great day to be alive.
Camera person: How's it going?
Mercedes:: Oh, it's going.
(As she makes her way to the building, she pulls out a keychain remote, turns around, and points, activating the alarm.)
Mercedes: I know that I'm awake, but I still feel asleep, you know?
Camera person: I take it you didn't get enough sleep?
Mercedes: Oh, I slept like a baby. It just that days like today, you have to have the iron will to wake up this early. Even if you had four hours.
Camera person: So, what were you up to last night?
Mercedes: Ciao!
(Mercedes reaches the entrance and opens the door to the building as we fade.)
(Fade in on Mercedes just leaving the concession area. She uncaps a bottle of water and takes a small gulp before replacing the cap. Entering into one set of doors, she walks up towards an elevator and, as it opens, she stands aside as two people got off before she enters. The door closes.)
Camera person: So, this is your first time on this show?
Mercedes: Nope. This is my (holds up five fingers) fifth time. I'm pretty much like a celebrity, more or less.
(Camera fades out )
(We fade in again in the elevator as the door opens. Mercedes stops and looks to her left than her right before pointing in that direction.)
(Camera fades out )
(As we fade in once more, we find Mercedes waiting in the lobby area. We can hear an interview going on between the host and her guest at the moment. Mercedes distracts herself by playing “Angry Birds” on her iPhone.)
Mercedes: This game is addicting, I'm telling you.
(Camera fades out )
And we welcome you back to That Wrestling Show. Just a great panel we've had today. And there she is...the woman of the hour.
(Mercedes is finally brought into the studio followed by the person who has been filming her since her arrival. Behind a plexiglass window is the executive producer and talent coordinator, who both wave at them. Mercedes flashes a smile at the host and they hug before taking their seats.)
Host: Wow. It's been a long time. How are you?
Mercedes: Busy, Roz. Always busy. (laughing)
(Camera fades out )
(Fade in again on Mercedes from her point of view. A microphone is in front of her.)
Host: So, let's talk about your next event, it's you and Kathleen Conway in a re-match for the New Championship Wrestling Starlets Tag Team Championship against Ayla St. James and Rayne, one of six title matches scheduled for Battlegrounds. From the look on your face, you're just rearin' to go, aren't you?
Mercedes: I seem to give off that impression a lot, don't I? I don't know where to begin when it comes to those two. As much as I would like to get my hands on BWA and snap their necks, which Kathleen and I will probably do anyway, two days is just too long.
Host: A “Submission Elimination Xtreme” match. Quite a concept.
Mercedes: Oh yeah. In order to win, you have to eliminate both members of a team, only by submission, and there's only one rule.
Host: What's that?
Mercedes: There are none, which basically means that Kat and I get our way with Ayla and Rayne once we get in that ring, and trust me, for what they've got coming to them, they're going to wish they brought their field pass because we're going to be going places. First we'll go to Philadelphia, then to Boston, New York, next door to New Jersey, before we're back in DC and the arena, where Kat and I are going to enjoy making those two bitches scream for their lives.
(Camera fades out )
Host: You’re listening to That Wrestling Show. Standing in for Mark Slater, I am Rosalind Myers with my guest for the final hour, none other than Mercedes Vargas.
Mercedes: What's happened to “The Slate”?
Host: Called in sick, can you believe that?
Mercedes: Hope he gets better. Give him my love.
Host: Let’s take in some calls right now. We have Rich from Baltimore. Hey, Rich. Welcome to That Wrestling Show.
Caller # 1: Hey, Roz. Hey, Mercedes.
Mercedes: Hey, hey. How are you?
Caller # 1: Fantastic now that I'm talking to you. (Mercedes laughs) When you and Kathleen became the Women's Tag Team Champions, you two never defended the titles in all of the two months before losing them to BWA. Who do you blame for that, yourselves or Management?
Mercedes: Well, with me, you know that I never sugarcoat anything, I always speak what's on mind.. Regardless of how Kathleen and I won the titles the first time, it happened. Any number of options could have been presented here, the more obvious would be Alysson Gardner showing up, but she had to do what she had to do, Mercedes Lewis still wanted to go on with the match, and who were we to argue? Were we happy that it was a handicap situation? Despite what everyone would say, no. I, for one, wanted to get my hands on Alysson, so color me disappointed when she never showed. Like I say, a win is a win no matter how you get it. If there was someone to blame, I would put it squarely on the shoulders of management simply because we had a few tag teams in the women's division who very well could have challenged for the titles. It's not to say that the title shouldn't be defended on pay-per-view, but between Reborn and Picture Perfect, would it have killed them to at least had a title defense on TV? I thought the 4th Anniversary Show was a pretty good, and excuse the pun here (using finger quotes) “opportunity” for that to happen, but alas, it is what it is, so.
Host: Thanks for calling, Rich. Elizabeth from Dallas. What's your question, Elizabeth?
Caller # 2: Hey, Roz, how are you?
Host: I'm good, thanks for asking.
Mercedes: Hey, Elizabeth.
Caller # 2: Cowboys or Redskins Monday night?
Mercedes: Um, I'm going to have to say Romo and the Cowboys, sorry. (laughing)
Caller # 2: Boo! My question for you is who do you see as a bigger threat in your tag match, Rayne or Ayla St. James?
Mercedes: Biggest threat. I have to say Rayne. I mean, she's been in this business for 20+ years so she knows a lot more then I give her credit for, and I don't admit that very often.
Caller # 2: Who do you think might be eliminated first in the match?
Mercedes: If given a choice, I would have to say Rayne again. She's the stronger of the two, so getting rid of her would leave Ayla to fend for herself. It very well could be the case this Sunday.
(Camera fades out )
Host: Tell me a little more about Opportunity. How did you and Kathleen Conway came to be a tag team?
Mercedes: Well, believe it or not, Kathleen and I were mortal enemies, and out of the blue, management decided to find challengers for the then-vacant tag team titles after Every Man's Fantasy, Crystal Hilton and Zelda Knite, broke up.
Host: Right, and she also left the company after a contract dispute from what sources tell me.
Mercedes: That's the story and I'm sticking to it. Opportunity defined who we are and what we were given that night in London, England at Reborn, a favourable outcome which to this day we'll always be criticized for. Winning the belts again gives us another chance to live up to that name. It's not a matter of if, but WHEN we kick BWA's asses and get back our titles, there isn't going to be the same whining, bitching and moaning that was going on during our first reign, I promise you that. The very team that was randomly thrown together is now the only real threat in the tag team division, and I'm not making this up, it's the truth. There isn't a team in the women's division that comes even close.
(Camera fades out )
Host: So, after NCW, what's next for Mercedes Vargas?
Mercedes: Well, let's see. I still am Television Champion in 3WL, so I'm looking forward to my third title defense, and then... AFPW is back up after a short hiatus, and there's a tournament going on to crown a new Pride Champion, now that Crystal Hilton takes over as Talent Relations. And that's pretty much it.
Host: Well, Mercedes Vargas and Kathleen Conway, Opportunity, to take on Bitches with Attitude this Sunday for New Championship Wrestling at their Battlegrounds pay-per-view event. It's going to be a great show, so if you haven't gotten your tickets already -
Mercedes: Get them now, now NOW!
Host: Mercedes, best of luck to you this Sunday.
Mercedes: Aw, thanks, Roz.
Host: And once again, New Championship Wrestling presents Battlegrounds this Sunday at the Verizon Center. You're listening to That Wrestling Show.
Mercedes: TH-TH-TH-THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
(Mercedes removes the headset as she prepares to leave)
(Camera fades out )
Camera person: Well, how did you think it went?
Mercedes: Great.
(The lobby area as Mercedes makes her way to the elevator.)
Camera person: You, uh, didn't hold anything back when it came to the competition committee.
Mercedes: And you wonder why people are pissed off at Management right now. As far as I'm concerned, Ruston Bourne deserves every bit of the blame for not giving any of the girls at least a number one contendership between June and August. Kat and I would have done well if we at least had one title defense. Just saying.
(Mercedes walks into the elevator)
Camera person: So, what's next, Mercedes?
Mercedes: Hmm, I don't know. Smithsonian; maybe catch a show or concert at the Kennedy Center; visit the Houses of government; I heard there was an International Spy Museum.
Camera person: We're going to the International Spy Museum?!
Mercedes: We? Oh no, there's no 'we', Jason Dunn. I'm going International Spy Museum. See ya!
(When the doors opened again, Mercedes walks out into the entrance. Jason Dunn sighs as he calls out after her.)
Jason Dunn: But, but, I wanted to get my inner Bond on!
(The door closes in on him as the scene ends.)
_______≈₪≈______
And here we go again. Opportunity and BWA, parte dos. Didn't think this match would come down to one important person, the X-factor.
Me.
Might as well come out and say it: last week could have been worse. Losing to Megan Kane had to have been one of the most, if not THE most embarrassing loss of my career in this company. Nothing to Lose, I cost Kathleen and myself the New Championship Wrestling World Women's Tag Team Championship. Instead of crying because it was over, I smiled. Because this wasn't the end, this is...another opportunity.
But if any of you think this is the changing of the guard in the women's division, if you think this is the beginning of the Bitches with Attitude era, have I got news for you – YOU'RE DEAD WRONG! And you want to know why? because Bitches with Attitude aren't the real champions! They”re your next “pretenders to the throne! It's funny, Ayla, that you actually thought after what happened last month that Kathleen and I were done as a team.
WELL, THE PRICE IS WRONG, BITCH! And I can guarantee you two things: one, that you and Rayne are going to get your ass kicked tonight, and two, you both are on BORROWED TIME. BORROWED...TIME!
I guess out of all of us, I'm the only one who won't be apologizing to either of you. Not now, not ever. By kicking your asses, I'm not doing this for the fans, I'm not doing this for the Starlets; I'm not doing this for the Wrestlers. Hell, I'm not even doing this for Kathleen and myself. I'm doing this for you, Ayla and Rayne. You two need to be put in your place. And I can't think of a better way then this particular match. You've tested my limits before, now Kat and I get to return the favour. And I can promise you that someone is gonna be tapping that night.
Yeah, you keep changing your little strategy there, Rayne. You continue to stay up late at night and plot, and scheme all you want. You once said my promos are the “bathroom breaks” of NCW. Oh, yeah? Well, I don't see Zelda Knite coming off the couch and running to the arena to see you or Ayla. I don't see either of you handing out petitions for the Every Man's Fantasy reunion. Wait, do you hear that? Oh, that was the last call for Every Man's Fantasy, and you two just missed that last train. Awww..that's too bad.
No me mandes fruta. Don't bullsh*t me. Having threesomes with Leonard Fox (which probably explains why you both smell like Bengay, Viagra and Benefiber) isn't going to change how his company is run.. And why not add a stripper pole to your lingerie matches, that should be loads of fun, Rayne. You must have NCW confused with that other promotion up north, because the last time I checked, we didn't have those types of matches.
It's said that opportunity seldom knocks twice. Kathleen and I aren't planning on knocking on the door or breaking down the door, we plan on kicking them down. BWA, you may have the belts, you may even think we live in your world...
Now you'll play in ours.
On September 25 at Battlegrounds, everything will be ours. This match...is ours. Those Tag Titles? Ours. And your asses? I promise you...No, I guarantee you, as God as my witness, in Washington, D.C. at the Verizon Center...YOUR ASSES WILL BE OURS TONIGHT!
As for tonight's forecast, it reads a little bit different from my outlook. The winds of change will more like a cool ocean breeze. Because I'm primed and ready to stop...the...Rayne.