Post by Jimmy Zane on Oct 25, 2011 10:08:32 GMT -6
[I can hear it now! Can't you? I mean, I know you are all just completely looking forward to the awesomeness of the next Ricky Johnson promo, right? I mean, with his match against Jimmy Zane and their recent history, you can bet there will be plenty of backpack jokes, right? I mean, because that's Oscar Wilde type wordplay right there! Ricky should be commended on his exceptional use of a children's show as his inspiration for his promos. It's been awesome. Truly! I am honestly looking forward to the promos this week.
Maybe some Go Go Diego
Or some Teletubbies!
No, I got it. Remember the "What's Opera Doc" Bugs Bunny episode? Man, that was a classic! Seriously, man, that's the one to go with! You can't lose, bro!
No really!
I mean think about it. You put on the awesome outfit and stand at the top of a mountain looking all angry and stuff. Scowling and cursing under your breath! Face turning red with anger! All of your recent disappointments fueling your anger, and you scream to the top of your lungs!
KILL THE JIMMY! KILL THE JIMMY!
NORTH WINDS BLOW! SOUTH WINDS BLOW! TYPHOONS! HURRICANES! EARTHQUAKES!
LIGHTNING! STRIKE THE JIMMY!
Man that would be... well, honestly, it would be the exact opposite of ripping off Dora the Explorer. Meaning it would actually be funny and worth watching.
Anyway, where was I?
Oh yes, Ricky and Jimmy. Does the question of "Who Gives a ****" come to mind? Neither of them have been able to achieve the ultimate goal, and I am sure you will all hear, more then you will be able to stand, how it was Jimmy that cost him the World Title at last months Pay Per View. I personally can't wait to hear all the finger pointing this week.
So... let's do this, shall we?]
(The scene picks up where we left off in our last episode with Jimmy Zane. He is leaving his apartment in the French Quarter in downtown New Orleans, Louisiana. He pulls out just south of Bourbon street and heads out. The camera pans over to his friend who appears jittery and fidgety. A giant Red Bull in his hand, his clothes all disheveled, and his hair is a mess.)
OK, bro. You got me out of bed for some insane reason. So tell me the whole deal.
Babaloo - I built something extraordinary, Jimmy. Beyond my wildest dreams, I never thought it would work, but it does. It's...magnificent.
Yeah, yeah. What is it?
Babaloo - Well, a couple of weeks ago, I was up all night playing Gears of War 3 online and I was riding a major sugar rush from all the Red Bulls when I finally decided to give it a break after being at it for like fifteen hours. So I started flipping through channels on TV and I came across one of my favorite movies. I don't know if it was all the Red Bull or if something just clicked or what, but everything the guy was saying made sense.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-K
Babaloo - And the more he explained how his invention worked, the more things made sense. So I decided to make one too. His designs were perfect, so I copied them. And I came up with something so awesome that I can't even explain it!
And what movie were you watching?
Babaloo - Back to the Future! You know, Michael J Fox looked so young back then! He was a perfect compliment to Christopher Lloyd. It was truly ama....
(Jimmy shakes his head and pulls the car into a parking lot. He puts the car in park and sighs a little bit.)
Babaloo....you got me out of bed because you got all hopped up on a case of Red Bull, watched some TV and built....
Babaloo - A TIME MACHINE!
*sigh*
Babloo - I'm serious, Jimmy! This thing is AWESOME!
Man, I love you. You are my best friend in the whole world, but you really need to lay off the Red Bull, bro. I know I am going to regret this....
(Jimmy puts the car in park and pulls back out onto the road and heads towards Babaloo's work shop on the other end of town. As his car pulls nearly out of sight, the scene fades to black.)
-------------------------------------------
Ricky Johnson. I knew this was coming sooner or later. Hell, if I had to hear Steve Awesome tell me one more time that Ricky and I should just duke it out in the ring I was going to scream! But hey, it's just another match, another week to move another step ahead. Get back in the driver's seat.
*Enter another cliche here*
Look, Ricky, I don't give a **** about you. You were never on my radar for anything. We were tossed into a feud together out of convenience. We have had several matches in the past, and guess what. I won. I don't forsee things being much different this time around. And I am pretty sure you know it too. But just for show, let's go over your future rant, shall we?
*clears throat*
"if it wasn't for you, I would be World Champion right now! You screwed me on purpose to help out Steve and Rob! You are a low life son of a bitch!"
Now, I am quite sure there will be a lot more to it. But that's the general jist of it all, I am sure. So, let's clear it up, in case you didn't hear me last month. I had plans on screwing you over. I wanted to **** you over so bad that I couldn't wait to get the chance. But when it came right down to it, my own personal vanity wouldn't allow me to just give away my tag team titles. Ultimately it happened anyway, but I didn't just lay down for anyone.
Get it?
Got it?
GOOD!
I mean what did you really lose aside from the match? You put nothing on the line. You brought nothing to the match. So ultimately, you walked away with the same thing you brought with you...
NOTHING.
I am the one who lost the tag titles. Lex lost his tag title. You didn't lose a damn thing. Take it for what you will, Ricky. I don't give two ****s either way. Nothing you can say or do is going to make a difference to me either way. You are just another name on another show across the ring from me. Now I am sure you will have some eloquently worded promo, and that's fine. I am sure it will be entertaining, well except for the fact that you are in it.
-------------------------------------------
(The scene fades in just a few blocks from Babaloo's workshop. Sitting at a red light, Babaloo downs his Red Bull and quickly reaches for another, cracking it open. Jimmy shakes his head and snatches it from him.)
Dude! Quit drinking these like water! They are bad for you!
Babaloo - These things ROCK! I mean they get me so amped I am pumped about it.
.....
Babaloo - No, seriously, I love it! It's awesome!
Calm the hell down, holmes! (Drinks Red Bull) Hey, this is might tasty, sir! Mighty tasty indeed. So, tell me about this "time machine".
Babaloo - OK, so I built my own personal flux capacitor. Once I got it all put together, I started building all the other equipment necessary. Seventeen days and six cases of Red Bull later, it was complete.
Right.....
Babaloo - So then I started the testing phase.
And how does this thing work?
Babaloo - Well, he was WAY off. It doesn't need 1.21 Jiggawatts to run. Nor does it need a nuclear reaction.
Oh really? (rolling eyes)
Babaloo - I did all the math, Jimmy. Seriously, he was way off.
Uh huh. So what does it run on?
Babaloo - Red Bull!
.......What the F...
Babaloo - Just the reactor runs on it, the car itself runs on unleaded gasoline. I didn't have time to completely change the entire fuel system. Who do you think I am, Reed Richards or something? I am pretty smart, Jimmy, but I am no Peter Venkman!
*sighs*
(Jimmy drives another couple of blocks listening to Babaloo talk about how he took the designs from the movie and made them a reality with some sort of mathematical equation that included a scientific calculator, pen and paper, and an abacus. Jimmy wonders to himself why the hell he let himself be sucked into this crazy experiment, but then again, he always somehow enjoyed spending the time with Babaloo. They pull into the driveway and Jimmy parks the car. They get out and Babaloo is still explaining the time space continuum or something like that.)
Babloo - so when we hit the exact speed, the reactor creates an electrical charge that will send us through time to the chosen point in history.
Yeah, not to say I don't believe you, but you did base the design on the movie, which is nuts to begin with. But hey, I am out of bed, I am feeling a bit amped on this Red Bull I took from you, so what the hell, right?
Babaloo - What the hell indeed!
(Babaloo smiles as he pulls his keys out of pocket. He fumbles with the keys for a moment before finally finding the right key. He puts the key in and turns the lock. The Masterlock pops open and he pulls it off. He slides the lock to the side and walks out in front of the door.)
Babaloo - OK. This is a historic day for me, for us, for all of mankind. This is the day that we...
Just open the door, Babaloo!
(Babaloo smiles and turns to the garage. He slowly slides the door up. The first thing Jimmy sees is what looks like a complete supply of Red Bull by the case load. Stacked as high as the ceiling in row after row. He walks around the Red Bulls and stops dead in his tracks. Babaloo smiles a huge smile as Jimmy stands there. In shock. Awe. Or Confusion. Pick any of them, and it's probably accurate. He shakes his head and says the only thing that comes to his mind.)
That's a ****ing pinto!
(Babaloo smiles and shakes his head feverishly as the scene fades to black.)
Maybe some Go Go Diego
Or some Teletubbies!
No, I got it. Remember the "What's Opera Doc" Bugs Bunny episode? Man, that was a classic! Seriously, man, that's the one to go with! You can't lose, bro!
No really!
I mean think about it. You put on the awesome outfit and stand at the top of a mountain looking all angry and stuff. Scowling and cursing under your breath! Face turning red with anger! All of your recent disappointments fueling your anger, and you scream to the top of your lungs!
KILL THE JIMMY! KILL THE JIMMY!
NORTH WINDS BLOW! SOUTH WINDS BLOW! TYPHOONS! HURRICANES! EARTHQUAKES!
LIGHTNING! STRIKE THE JIMMY!
Man that would be... well, honestly, it would be the exact opposite of ripping off Dora the Explorer. Meaning it would actually be funny and worth watching.
Anyway, where was I?
Oh yes, Ricky and Jimmy. Does the question of "Who Gives a ****" come to mind? Neither of them have been able to achieve the ultimate goal, and I am sure you will all hear, more then you will be able to stand, how it was Jimmy that cost him the World Title at last months Pay Per View. I personally can't wait to hear all the finger pointing this week.
So... let's do this, shall we?]
(The scene picks up where we left off in our last episode with Jimmy Zane. He is leaving his apartment in the French Quarter in downtown New Orleans, Louisiana. He pulls out just south of Bourbon street and heads out. The camera pans over to his friend who appears jittery and fidgety. A giant Red Bull in his hand, his clothes all disheveled, and his hair is a mess.)
~{-/-CHARACTER INTRODUCTION-\-}~
The character seen with Jimmy Zane in this episode, and future episodes, as his lifelong friend Jackson Wade. He was always the science geek in school and was always picked on and ridiculed for being a bookworm. He was ultra smart though, and Jimmy took care of him because he enjoyed being around him. They were just kids then, but their friendship has never wavered. Jimmy affectionately calls Jackson "Babaloo" because of his insane fascination with "I Love Lucy". For that reason, Jackson shall also be referred to as Babaloo in this promotional video as well as future promotional videos.
~{-/-END CHARACTER INTRODUCTION-\-}~
The character seen with Jimmy Zane in this episode, and future episodes, as his lifelong friend Jackson Wade. He was always the science geek in school and was always picked on and ridiculed for being a bookworm. He was ultra smart though, and Jimmy took care of him because he enjoyed being around him. They were just kids then, but their friendship has never wavered. Jimmy affectionately calls Jackson "Babaloo" because of his insane fascination with "I Love Lucy". For that reason, Jackson shall also be referred to as Babaloo in this promotional video as well as future promotional videos.
~{-/-END CHARACTER INTRODUCTION-\-}~
OK, bro. You got me out of bed for some insane reason. So tell me the whole deal.
Babaloo - I built something extraordinary, Jimmy. Beyond my wildest dreams, I never thought it would work, but it does. It's...magnificent.
Yeah, yeah. What is it?
Babaloo - Well, a couple of weeks ago, I was up all night playing Gears of War 3 online and I was riding a major sugar rush from all the Red Bulls when I finally decided to give it a break after being at it for like fifteen hours. So I started flipping through channels on TV and I came across one of my favorite movies. I don't know if it was all the Red Bull or if something just clicked or what, but everything the guy was saying made sense.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-K
Babaloo - And the more he explained how his invention worked, the more things made sense. So I decided to make one too. His designs were perfect, so I copied them. And I came up with something so awesome that I can't even explain it!
And what movie were you watching?
Babaloo - Back to the Future! You know, Michael J Fox looked so young back then! He was a perfect compliment to Christopher Lloyd. It was truly ama....
(Jimmy shakes his head and pulls the car into a parking lot. He puts the car in park and sighs a little bit.)
Babaloo....you got me out of bed because you got all hopped up on a case of Red Bull, watched some TV and built....
Babaloo - A TIME MACHINE!
*sigh*
Babloo - I'm serious, Jimmy! This thing is AWESOME!
Man, I love you. You are my best friend in the whole world, but you really need to lay off the Red Bull, bro. I know I am going to regret this....
(Jimmy puts the car in park and pulls back out onto the road and heads towards Babaloo's work shop on the other end of town. As his car pulls nearly out of sight, the scene fades to black.)
-------------------------------------------
Ricky Johnson. I knew this was coming sooner or later. Hell, if I had to hear Steve Awesome tell me one more time that Ricky and I should just duke it out in the ring I was going to scream! But hey, it's just another match, another week to move another step ahead. Get back in the driver's seat.
*Enter another cliche here*
Look, Ricky, I don't give a **** about you. You were never on my radar for anything. We were tossed into a feud together out of convenience. We have had several matches in the past, and guess what. I won. I don't forsee things being much different this time around. And I am pretty sure you know it too. But just for show, let's go over your future rant, shall we?
*clears throat*
"if it wasn't for you, I would be World Champion right now! You screwed me on purpose to help out Steve and Rob! You are a low life son of a bitch!"
Now, I am quite sure there will be a lot more to it. But that's the general jist of it all, I am sure. So, let's clear it up, in case you didn't hear me last month. I had plans on screwing you over. I wanted to **** you over so bad that I couldn't wait to get the chance. But when it came right down to it, my own personal vanity wouldn't allow me to just give away my tag team titles. Ultimately it happened anyway, but I didn't just lay down for anyone.
Get it?
Got it?
GOOD!
I mean what did you really lose aside from the match? You put nothing on the line. You brought nothing to the match. So ultimately, you walked away with the same thing you brought with you...
NOTHING.
I am the one who lost the tag titles. Lex lost his tag title. You didn't lose a damn thing. Take it for what you will, Ricky. I don't give two ****s either way. Nothing you can say or do is going to make a difference to me either way. You are just another name on another show across the ring from me. Now I am sure you will have some eloquently worded promo, and that's fine. I am sure it will be entertaining, well except for the fact that you are in it.
-------------------------------------------
(The scene fades in just a few blocks from Babaloo's workshop. Sitting at a red light, Babaloo downs his Red Bull and quickly reaches for another, cracking it open. Jimmy shakes his head and snatches it from him.)
Dude! Quit drinking these like water! They are bad for you!
Babaloo - These things ROCK! I mean they get me so amped I am pumped about it.
.....
Babaloo - No, seriously, I love it! It's awesome!
Calm the hell down, holmes! (Drinks Red Bull) Hey, this is might tasty, sir! Mighty tasty indeed. So, tell me about this "time machine".
Babaloo - OK, so I built my own personal flux capacitor. Once I got it all put together, I started building all the other equipment necessary. Seventeen days and six cases of Red Bull later, it was complete.
Right.....
Babaloo - So then I started the testing phase.
And how does this thing work?
Babaloo - Well, he was WAY off. It doesn't need 1.21 Jiggawatts to run. Nor does it need a nuclear reaction.
Oh really? (rolling eyes)
Babaloo - I did all the math, Jimmy. Seriously, he was way off.
Uh huh. So what does it run on?
Babaloo - Red Bull!
.......What the F...
Babaloo - Just the reactor runs on it, the car itself runs on unleaded gasoline. I didn't have time to completely change the entire fuel system. Who do you think I am, Reed Richards or something? I am pretty smart, Jimmy, but I am no Peter Venkman!
*sighs*
(Jimmy drives another couple of blocks listening to Babaloo talk about how he took the designs from the movie and made them a reality with some sort of mathematical equation that included a scientific calculator, pen and paper, and an abacus. Jimmy wonders to himself why the hell he let himself be sucked into this crazy experiment, but then again, he always somehow enjoyed spending the time with Babaloo. They pull into the driveway and Jimmy parks the car. They get out and Babaloo is still explaining the time space continuum or something like that.)
Babloo - so when we hit the exact speed, the reactor creates an electrical charge that will send us through time to the chosen point in history.
Yeah, not to say I don't believe you, but you did base the design on the movie, which is nuts to begin with. But hey, I am out of bed, I am feeling a bit amped on this Red Bull I took from you, so what the hell, right?
Babaloo - What the hell indeed!
(Babaloo smiles as he pulls his keys out of pocket. He fumbles with the keys for a moment before finally finding the right key. He puts the key in and turns the lock. The Masterlock pops open and he pulls it off. He slides the lock to the side and walks out in front of the door.)
Babaloo - OK. This is a historic day for me, for us, for all of mankind. This is the day that we...
Just open the door, Babaloo!
(Babaloo smiles and turns to the garage. He slowly slides the door up. The first thing Jimmy sees is what looks like a complete supply of Red Bull by the case load. Stacked as high as the ceiling in row after row. He walks around the Red Bulls and stops dead in his tracks. Babaloo smiles a huge smile as Jimmy stands there. In shock. Awe. Or Confusion. Pick any of them, and it's probably accurate. He shakes his head and says the only thing that comes to his mind.)
That's a ****ing pinto!
(Babaloo smiles and shakes his head feverishly as the scene fades to black.)