Post by Dexter Davis on Oct 28, 2011 1:25:32 GMT -6
I sit back in my easy chair and begin to watch some tape. As much as I wish it was a tape of a couple of women making out but as it stands I'm forced to take some notes on past Jackhammer matches. This is why I dislike bigger wrestlers. No innovation what so ever. Same old punch then kick then power move. If I ever started to become that I think I'd just quit and move onto a career of mixed martial arts. At least then when you throw a punch you'd get the crowd to respond.
Someone is creeping up behind me and at this time of night it's probably just Freya. Kids are sound asleep in their rooms. Ever since this last weekend Tasha's finally stopped throwing a fit when I leave the room. She still wants tons of my attention when she's awake but I can leave the room to take a piss without a screaming infant. I scribble a few more things down onto my notepad. Yep in our age of computers I find that the best way to scout is still with a pen and paper. Then I hear the voice to go along with the footsteps.
Freya: Who in the hell is that and why does it look like he shot himself with an entire year's worth of steroids. If he has a girlfriend she must get her lovin' from someone else due to him not having a peeny.
I let out a loud chuckle turning to see Freya in her bedrobe. Honestly knowing what she wears to bed it's only a thong under there. If I wasn't scoutin' this giant man she'd be scaling something. Anywho she sits on the couch which is pretty much right next to me.
Freya: So you telling me who this guy is or will I have to beat it out of you?
Dexter: That'd be Jackhammer. The guy I'm facin' on the Wired show this Sunday. Figured I'd get a few matches of his and take down the notes.
I glance over at her and she gives me that I used to wrestle to so I know what you're doing jackass sort of look. I place the DVD on pause for a moment before placing the paper down onto the coffee table. After a sip of my apple strawberry juice because I love juice I begin to give Freya my attention.
Dexter: Sorry. Sometimes I do forget you were an accomplished female wrestler.
Freya: Damn right I was. Only woman to ever retain a World Title by only talking about a penis in the promo videos leading to said match.
The penis she was talking about was mine. I felt honored at the time as she was still getting her divorce to that retard done up.
Dexter: And everyone loved you for it.
Freya: I'm a loveable woman. Sure I have a few haters but give me an hour with them and they'll love me.
I won't disagree. I found her to be the most charming person in the world the first time we spoke. It was over coffee at a friend's house. So many Freya stories I could tell online in a blog or vlog but I don't think that'd exactly put asses in the seats.
Dexter: I loved you from the first minute but I think the rings around our fingers has given that away. What are you doing up at this time of night though? You do have school tomorrow...
I think Freya was the most excited I've ever seen her in a non baby/wedding sort of way when she got into San Diego State. Doing well too. Couldn't be more proud of her.
Freya: I do but I heard the TV on and wondered what you were doing. I know you certainly wouldn't watch a movie without me here to enjoy it. The penalty would be worse then what you could ever imagine.
I fake a gasp and glup to give her a response. Love it when she acts tough. We both know she's not that at all but it gives us a spot of fun every once in a while.
Dexter: I'mma get back to watching this for a bit. You can stay and help if you'd desire to but I won't force you.
She gives me a nod and sits back into the couch. I pick up my pen and paper going back to work on Jackhammer. I think if he changed his name he'd already be a better wrestler. Jackhammer just doesn't have any sort of ring to it. I thought of the construction equipment when I saw the card. When I told Freya she thought of the position.
Freya: Don't mind me Dexy just going to lotion my legs.
I peak over to see her put lotion in her hands and begin to rub her already smooth legs. No. Stay focused on scouting Jackhammer. Oh what a shock a big power wrestler using a powerbomb to finish his opponents off. I'm tempted to call someone to tell them how surprised I really am right now. And a chokeslam too? This gets better and better. I smell Freya's lotion and look over again. She's up to her thighs and I lick my lips. No one has every been able to torture me like Freya.
I had a party a couple of weeks ago and she teased and tortured me the whole time. I wanted to be mad but I couldn't find it in me to yell at her. She's far too sweet for that. Though she does have a bitchy side. After living by myself for a number of years and with my best friend we always left the seat up. I still do said thing and well, yeah.
Freya: Oh my goodness. So much lotion all over me now...
DAMMIT WOMAN I'M TRYING TO FOCUS ON MY CAREER! I really don't want to say this but...
Dexter: Ther... there's some... towels on the counter.
I don't dare look at Freya. I know she's thinking of some other way to coax me into stopping what I'm doing and going to bed. I feel her hands rubbing my shoulders.
Freya: You're so tense. Don't let wrestling get like this to you. You want to keep it fun and where's the fun of studying a guy? I mean he's a big wrestler who does the things every other big wrestler does. Nothing special about this guy at all.
I close my eyes and enjoy the shoulder rub dropping my pen and paper to the floor. She knows how to hit the right spots to relax me. And honestly she's right. What more can I do? I've seen three matches now and they're all the same.
Dexter: You're right. There is nothing really special about the guy what so ever. Let the chips fall where they may I suppose.
Freya: That's the spirit. Now get your butt to bed. You get up early to you know. Two screaming boys running around all day and an infant is a tall order daddy.
Dexter: I've managed well have I not?
She doesn't say anything while she stops rubbing my shoulders. I stand up and look down at my beautiful wife before giving her a kiss. She leans up on her toes and kisses me back. I follow her into our bedroom ready to hit the sack while she... nevermind. I won't go down that road. I'm in the bedroom and that's my private business.
-----
"Watched some tape on Jackhammer tonight and I've found the four things I think I've learn about him. Aside from tracking down his DVD for hours on end from Ebay there's just nothing special about this guy. I'm being completely honest and not trying to be a dick. Some people have that extra factor and some don't. Jackhammer's the guy who doesn't. But the four things I learned are as follows.
He's large.
He uses a powerbomb like every other giant wrestler in the world.
He indeed might be injected with a huge supply of steroids.
And to finish it off his wife looks like a tranny.
Them's the facts bruh. Like I said not trying to be an ass sans that last fact I found but when you and me get into the ring I look forward to choppin' down the giant. No other way about it. I'll beat Jackhammer and head home with my head held high."
Someone is creeping up behind me and at this time of night it's probably just Freya. Kids are sound asleep in their rooms. Ever since this last weekend Tasha's finally stopped throwing a fit when I leave the room. She still wants tons of my attention when she's awake but I can leave the room to take a piss without a screaming infant. I scribble a few more things down onto my notepad. Yep in our age of computers I find that the best way to scout is still with a pen and paper. Then I hear the voice to go along with the footsteps.
Freya: Who in the hell is that and why does it look like he shot himself with an entire year's worth of steroids. If he has a girlfriend she must get her lovin' from someone else due to him not having a peeny.
I let out a loud chuckle turning to see Freya in her bedrobe. Honestly knowing what she wears to bed it's only a thong under there. If I wasn't scoutin' this giant man she'd be scaling something. Anywho she sits on the couch which is pretty much right next to me.
Freya: So you telling me who this guy is or will I have to beat it out of you?
Dexter: That'd be Jackhammer. The guy I'm facin' on the Wired show this Sunday. Figured I'd get a few matches of his and take down the notes.
I glance over at her and she gives me that I used to wrestle to so I know what you're doing jackass sort of look. I place the DVD on pause for a moment before placing the paper down onto the coffee table. After a sip of my apple strawberry juice because I love juice I begin to give Freya my attention.
Dexter: Sorry. Sometimes I do forget you were an accomplished female wrestler.
Freya: Damn right I was. Only woman to ever retain a World Title by only talking about a penis in the promo videos leading to said match.
The penis she was talking about was mine. I felt honored at the time as she was still getting her divorce to that retard done up.
Dexter: And everyone loved you for it.
Freya: I'm a loveable woman. Sure I have a few haters but give me an hour with them and they'll love me.
I won't disagree. I found her to be the most charming person in the world the first time we spoke. It was over coffee at a friend's house. So many Freya stories I could tell online in a blog or vlog but I don't think that'd exactly put asses in the seats.
Dexter: I loved you from the first minute but I think the rings around our fingers has given that away. What are you doing up at this time of night though? You do have school tomorrow...
I think Freya was the most excited I've ever seen her in a non baby/wedding sort of way when she got into San Diego State. Doing well too. Couldn't be more proud of her.
Freya: I do but I heard the TV on and wondered what you were doing. I know you certainly wouldn't watch a movie without me here to enjoy it. The penalty would be worse then what you could ever imagine.
I fake a gasp and glup to give her a response. Love it when she acts tough. We both know she's not that at all but it gives us a spot of fun every once in a while.
Dexter: I'mma get back to watching this for a bit. You can stay and help if you'd desire to but I won't force you.
She gives me a nod and sits back into the couch. I pick up my pen and paper going back to work on Jackhammer. I think if he changed his name he'd already be a better wrestler. Jackhammer just doesn't have any sort of ring to it. I thought of the construction equipment when I saw the card. When I told Freya she thought of the position.
Freya: Don't mind me Dexy just going to lotion my legs.
I peak over to see her put lotion in her hands and begin to rub her already smooth legs. No. Stay focused on scouting Jackhammer. Oh what a shock a big power wrestler using a powerbomb to finish his opponents off. I'm tempted to call someone to tell them how surprised I really am right now. And a chokeslam too? This gets better and better. I smell Freya's lotion and look over again. She's up to her thighs and I lick my lips. No one has every been able to torture me like Freya.
I had a party a couple of weeks ago and she teased and tortured me the whole time. I wanted to be mad but I couldn't find it in me to yell at her. She's far too sweet for that. Though she does have a bitchy side. After living by myself for a number of years and with my best friend we always left the seat up. I still do said thing and well, yeah.
Freya: Oh my goodness. So much lotion all over me now...
DAMMIT WOMAN I'M TRYING TO FOCUS ON MY CAREER! I really don't want to say this but...
Dexter: Ther... there's some... towels on the counter.
I don't dare look at Freya. I know she's thinking of some other way to coax me into stopping what I'm doing and going to bed. I feel her hands rubbing my shoulders.
Freya: You're so tense. Don't let wrestling get like this to you. You want to keep it fun and where's the fun of studying a guy? I mean he's a big wrestler who does the things every other big wrestler does. Nothing special about this guy at all.
I close my eyes and enjoy the shoulder rub dropping my pen and paper to the floor. She knows how to hit the right spots to relax me. And honestly she's right. What more can I do? I've seen three matches now and they're all the same.
Dexter: You're right. There is nothing really special about the guy what so ever. Let the chips fall where they may I suppose.
Freya: That's the spirit. Now get your butt to bed. You get up early to you know. Two screaming boys running around all day and an infant is a tall order daddy.
Dexter: I've managed well have I not?
She doesn't say anything while she stops rubbing my shoulders. I stand up and look down at my beautiful wife before giving her a kiss. She leans up on her toes and kisses me back. I follow her into our bedroom ready to hit the sack while she... nevermind. I won't go down that road. I'm in the bedroom and that's my private business.
-----
"Watched some tape on Jackhammer tonight and I've found the four things I think I've learn about him. Aside from tracking down his DVD for hours on end from Ebay there's just nothing special about this guy. I'm being completely honest and not trying to be a dick. Some people have that extra factor and some don't. Jackhammer's the guy who doesn't. But the four things I learned are as follows.
He's large.
He uses a powerbomb like every other giant wrestler in the world.
He indeed might be injected with a huge supply of steroids.
And to finish it off his wife looks like a tranny.
Them's the facts bruh. Like I said not trying to be an ass sans that last fact I found but when you and me get into the ring I look forward to choppin' down the giant. No other way about it. I'll beat Jackhammer and head home with my head held high."