Post by Shelly Taylor-Jones on Oct 29, 2011 3:02:31 GMT -6
“So this is how we play it....”
“You find it boring for us to show respect...”
“To keep it civil....”
“Here I thought we could be different....”
“I thought we could go a week without the mudslinging....”
“But I was wrong....”
“Because here we are....”
“The mudslinging has begun.....”
“So be it.....”
“Should I play your game?”
My eyes open, a smile comes across my face.
“Should I look over your life and find something that people may find annoying to flesh out and contort to throw it in your face as some kind of petty insult?. You and I both know I can do that Kelly. You know I could make some clever jokes about your commentating career or your work as a writer. But, I won’t. I won’t because this match deserves better. This title deserves better. But you SHOULD be honoured by my respect for you. It doesn’t happen often Kelly. Most of the time I sit here and verbally destroy someone over and over. I look deep inside find their insecurities and bring them to the surface. Now a question you need to ask yourself is do I truly respect who and what you are or am I just screwing with you?....”
“Who knows, maybe even I don’t know. But I will call you out on one thing. I don’t hate Zelda. Am I angry she left before I got a chance to face her one on one?. Yes, Yes I am. Am I disappointed my cheap tactics I tried using to lure her back didn’t work?, Yeah I am. But I don’t hate Zelda, Kelly. I admire her, respect her. It was both yourself and Zelda that legitimised women’s wrestling in NCW. I respect that Kelly. But you’re right, you don’t need to sing my praises now that you.re here in front of me. You don’t need to tell the world how good I am. I’m not asking you to......”
“I am asking you to understand why I am the way I am. I’m asking you to look inside and see that just because I’ll be in the ring with you on Sunday it doesn’t mean we have to verbally rip into each other. But I can tell that you have chosen your path and so be it. I know why you won the tournament, I know how and why. I know that in the end win or lose on Sunday I will shake your hand either as a dethroned champion showing respect to a woman who on that night was better, or as a champion defeating the number one contender and reaffirming my status as number one.....”
I smile wide and stand up looking at the Starlets title.
“But I do find it amusing that in some way you believe I wanted this to be all about respect and friendship. Truth is Kelly while Crystal is my friend you and I aren’t friendly towards one another. I’ve seen you around over all these years whether I was on Angel or Alex’s arm. But I did not want our match to be something where we sing about love and respect. But what I do want is competition, Something I know you will bring me. I know that when I stand in that ring with you in front of me you’ll be coming at me. Every move will be to take my head off. Every risk you take will be with a reward, everything you do will be to take this title off of me. I’m not stupid Kelly and now you’re sitting there painting some kind of picture in your mind that I’m in that little world of fluffy bunnies and mutha ****ing unicorns, but make no mistake, I respect you, I like you, I think you’re great but.....”
“In that ring I will do everything in my power to break your skinny little ass. Before the bell rings, I’ll shake your hand, after the match is done I’ll embrace you as a sister and thank you for what we have just done. But in between those moments it will be pure violence. I will try to break limbs, destroy joints, crack skulls, I will do anything and everything I need to. But you already know that. I don’t want you to believe me to be so arrogant that I don’t know that you know me well enough to know what I bring to the table Kelly.....”
“You said it yourself. I’m tough, I’m dedicated, you know this, I know this and every single starlet that lays bloody and beaten on that path that In carved for myself DAMN SURE knows it. But I also know your mind games. After all here you are calling me a stuck up, arrogant, two timing gutter trash bitch. And hey some would say I earned it. I am stuck up, I do walk around with what some would say is an undue sense of privilege. I am arrogant, I do scream about how good I am, but that’s because I AM THAT ****ING GOOD.....”
“But your comments about my personal life. Well from the outside looking in I can see what people think of me. They think I cheated on Angel, they think I led Alex on and destroyed him when he faced my ex-husband. I did things I’m not proud of, I did things that are horrible and embarrassing, but I’ve paid my sins Kelly. I’ve paid my dues.....”
I put the starlets title down.
“So I will take my respect.....”
“I will take my redemption.....”
“I will take my good fight.....”
“But if you want to take MY TITLE....”
“Then come and get it......”
“When all is said and done....”
“When I lay down my sword....”
“My armour....”
“My shield....”
“When I go home....”
“When the war ends...”
“What am I?...”
“Who am I?...”
“A mother?....A wife?....”
“Or am I just my sword?....”
“Am I just a warrior?...”
“A fighter?....”
“A question asked with no answer.....”
“Do you know what I am Kelly?....”
I’m serious.
“Do you?.....”
I want to know....
“I don’t. My life is some sort of identity crisis....”
Sad but true....
“I don’t know if I’m a mother, a sister, a wife.....I don’t know if I
can be those things....”
Why am I baring my soul?
“I thought it was enough. To be a mother, to be a wife. But I wanted more, I NEEDED more. Does that make me a bad person?....”
I hope not....
“I ask this because lately I’ve been forced to ask myself if I’m a hero...or a villain.....”
I take these slings and arrows.....
“People say my comments were to much last month.....”
About Spike’s son.....oh god I’m a monster.
“I hurt someone deeply...I hurt them worse.....but now I wonder am I a bad person?...or just overly competitive?...”
If I close my eyes will I like what I see?....
“I know this will mean nothing to you Kelly...or you’ll find it funny...but this is me, this is what I am....I’m an insecure little girl trapped in a womans body.....I have fears and trepidations like everyone else. So while some people believe my arrogance is because of my family thinking we’re better than everyone else..it’s actually because I have doubts.....I am a warrior, I am a woman.....and I am me.....”
“You find it boring for us to show respect...”
“To keep it civil....”
“Here I thought we could be different....”
“I thought we could go a week without the mudslinging....”
“But I was wrong....”
“Because here we are....”
“The mudslinging has begun.....”
“So be it.....”
“Should I play your game?”
My eyes open, a smile comes across my face.
“Should I look over your life and find something that people may find annoying to flesh out and contort to throw it in your face as some kind of petty insult?. You and I both know I can do that Kelly. You know I could make some clever jokes about your commentating career or your work as a writer. But, I won’t. I won’t because this match deserves better. This title deserves better. But you SHOULD be honoured by my respect for you. It doesn’t happen often Kelly. Most of the time I sit here and verbally destroy someone over and over. I look deep inside find their insecurities and bring them to the surface. Now a question you need to ask yourself is do I truly respect who and what you are or am I just screwing with you?....”
“Who knows, maybe even I don’t know. But I will call you out on one thing. I don’t hate Zelda. Am I angry she left before I got a chance to face her one on one?. Yes, Yes I am. Am I disappointed my cheap tactics I tried using to lure her back didn’t work?, Yeah I am. But I don’t hate Zelda, Kelly. I admire her, respect her. It was both yourself and Zelda that legitimised women’s wrestling in NCW. I respect that Kelly. But you’re right, you don’t need to sing my praises now that you.re here in front of me. You don’t need to tell the world how good I am. I’m not asking you to......”
“I am asking you to understand why I am the way I am. I’m asking you to look inside and see that just because I’ll be in the ring with you on Sunday it doesn’t mean we have to verbally rip into each other. But I can tell that you have chosen your path and so be it. I know why you won the tournament, I know how and why. I know that in the end win or lose on Sunday I will shake your hand either as a dethroned champion showing respect to a woman who on that night was better, or as a champion defeating the number one contender and reaffirming my status as number one.....”
I smile wide and stand up looking at the Starlets title.
“But I do find it amusing that in some way you believe I wanted this to be all about respect and friendship. Truth is Kelly while Crystal is my friend you and I aren’t friendly towards one another. I’ve seen you around over all these years whether I was on Angel or Alex’s arm. But I did not want our match to be something where we sing about love and respect. But what I do want is competition, Something I know you will bring me. I know that when I stand in that ring with you in front of me you’ll be coming at me. Every move will be to take my head off. Every risk you take will be with a reward, everything you do will be to take this title off of me. I’m not stupid Kelly and now you’re sitting there painting some kind of picture in your mind that I’m in that little world of fluffy bunnies and mutha ****ing unicorns, but make no mistake, I respect you, I like you, I think you’re great but.....”
“In that ring I will do everything in my power to break your skinny little ass. Before the bell rings, I’ll shake your hand, after the match is done I’ll embrace you as a sister and thank you for what we have just done. But in between those moments it will be pure violence. I will try to break limbs, destroy joints, crack skulls, I will do anything and everything I need to. But you already know that. I don’t want you to believe me to be so arrogant that I don’t know that you know me well enough to know what I bring to the table Kelly.....”
“You said it yourself. I’m tough, I’m dedicated, you know this, I know this and every single starlet that lays bloody and beaten on that path that In carved for myself DAMN SURE knows it. But I also know your mind games. After all here you are calling me a stuck up, arrogant, two timing gutter trash bitch. And hey some would say I earned it. I am stuck up, I do walk around with what some would say is an undue sense of privilege. I am arrogant, I do scream about how good I am, but that’s because I AM THAT ****ING GOOD.....”
“But your comments about my personal life. Well from the outside looking in I can see what people think of me. They think I cheated on Angel, they think I led Alex on and destroyed him when he faced my ex-husband. I did things I’m not proud of, I did things that are horrible and embarrassing, but I’ve paid my sins Kelly. I’ve paid my dues.....”
I put the starlets title down.
“So I will take my respect.....”
“I will take my redemption.....”
“I will take my good fight.....”
“But if you want to take MY TITLE....”
“Then come and get it......”
“When all is said and done....”
“When I lay down my sword....”
“My armour....”
“My shield....”
“When I go home....”
“When the war ends...”
“What am I?...”
“Who am I?...”
“A mother?....A wife?....”
“Or am I just my sword?....”
“Am I just a warrior?...”
“A fighter?....”
“A question asked with no answer.....”
“Do you know what I am Kelly?....”
I’m serious.
“Do you?.....”
I want to know....
“I don’t. My life is some sort of identity crisis....”
Sad but true....
“I don’t know if I’m a mother, a sister, a wife.....I don’t know if I
can be those things....”
Why am I baring my soul?
“I thought it was enough. To be a mother, to be a wife. But I wanted more, I NEEDED more. Does that make me a bad person?....”
I hope not....
“I ask this because lately I’ve been forced to ask myself if I’m a hero...or a villain.....”
I take these slings and arrows.....
“People say my comments were to much last month.....”
About Spike’s son.....oh god I’m a monster.
“I hurt someone deeply...I hurt them worse.....but now I wonder am I a bad person?...or just overly competitive?...”
If I close my eyes will I like what I see?....
“I know this will mean nothing to you Kelly...or you’ll find it funny...but this is me, this is what I am....I’m an insecure little girl trapped in a womans body.....I have fears and trepidations like everyone else. So while some people believe my arrogance is because of my family thinking we’re better than everyone else..it’s actually because I have doubts.....I am a warrior, I am a woman.....and I am me.....”