Post by Curtis D. Kanyon on Oct 29, 2011 20:37:39 GMT -6
*We open on Curtis D. Kanyon sitting behind a desk. His hands are folded. He's wearing a nice suit with a noticeable mustard stain on the lapel.*
Curtis: Hello everyone, and welcome to douche bag theater. Tonight, I bring you the story of the "Sexy One" Jason Evans. Formerly known as Sexy Jason. Formerly known as a steroids abusing ladies man. Formerly known as my bitch.
*Curtis puts on some reading glasses and dusts off a book before opening it.*
Curtis: You see, back in the day, my good ol' boy Ron Gibson and I stole Amber Ashe from the large grip and tiny nethers of Sexy Jason. It was mostly me though, because I'm the one who threw Jason through a table in order to win her..."services." And no matter what, Jason could not beat me in any match. Not until a tornado tag match where he used his then good buddy to help him cheat and he pinned Ron. But he has still never pinned me.
*Curtis pulls off his glasses and looks deep into the camera.*
Curtis: Never.
*Curtis goes back to the book.*
Curtis: Then he floundered, dropped off the map. The stigma of being utterly destroyed by me basically ruined his career. Then he came back to NCW with a new name, obviously cleaned up a bit, even found himself a little wife who doesn't love him and has run away under the disguise of a kidnapping or something, and then just to kick the poor bastard while he's down, he gets put in a match with me again, ready to once again fall to the floor in utter disgrace.
*Curtis slams the book shut and then tosses it through the window.*
Curtis: You see, Jason is involved in his own little world, he's not even paying attention to me. That is his biggest mistake. Because when he was on the sauce and paying attention to me, I whooped his ass. Now that he's off chasing ghosts and frail like a bitch, he's screwed. Flat out, just plain screwed. That's the facts, and he's going to have to live with that. Because since our careers split paths, I've only ascended higher and higher, and he's only fallen and fallen. Now he's at the bottom of the barrel, trying to claw back up. I would feel sorry for him, but I'll never have that problem, so screw him. I have my own problems. Aside from the sloppy sandwich I ate earlier today, I was within moments of winning the world title.
*Curtis pushes all the junk off his desk. He slams his fist into it and then stands up on and jumps up and down.*
Curtis: Moments! I had Steve in the palm of my hand! I had the title within my grasp! I had it! I had it! I HAD IT! Steve was distraught, worst for ware, beaten down in every was possible. One little screw up and he took advantage. Sometimes that all it takes. Ain't life funny like that? But you live, you learn, you love, you laugh, and then you make sure not to do it again. That's just the way things go. BUT IT WAS MINE TO HAVE!
*Curtis jumps up and elbow drops the desk, breaking it in half. He lays in the wreckage. A time lapse goes by and then after thirty minutes sped up, Curtis finally stand from the wreckage.*
Curtis: And now, because of my efforts, Steve is even more weak and easily beatable for Xander. When Xander wins that world title, he'll have me to thank. Will he thank me? No. Will he give me a shot? Probably not. But will I try and force him too? Oh you damn right! Because I just handed Steve Awesome to him on a silver platter, all he has to do is push him over and make the cover. But Xander will never admit that. Because he too, is a douche bag.
*Curtis dusts himself off.*
Curtis; So I need a place to get out my aggression. Now I come to find out, I just finished fighting a Steve, and now I'm fighting another Steve. So that makes it even better. I'm going to run down to that ring, beat the hell out of Steve "Sexy One Jason" Evans. It will be vicious, it will be fun, and I will feel better about myself when it's done. Really, that's all that matters. So it will be fun. Then once the fun is over, it's back to work for me! My job right now is to win that world title, and I'll beat Jason and show everyone in the world that Steve Awesome's victory was a fluke. Peace bitches!
*Curtis walks out of the office and slams the door. The scene fades.*
Curtis: Hello everyone, and welcome to douche bag theater. Tonight, I bring you the story of the "Sexy One" Jason Evans. Formerly known as Sexy Jason. Formerly known as a steroids abusing ladies man. Formerly known as my bitch.
*Curtis puts on some reading glasses and dusts off a book before opening it.*
Curtis: You see, back in the day, my good ol' boy Ron Gibson and I stole Amber Ashe from the large grip and tiny nethers of Sexy Jason. It was mostly me though, because I'm the one who threw Jason through a table in order to win her..."services." And no matter what, Jason could not beat me in any match. Not until a tornado tag match where he used his then good buddy to help him cheat and he pinned Ron. But he has still never pinned me.
*Curtis pulls off his glasses and looks deep into the camera.*
Curtis: Never.
*Curtis goes back to the book.*
Curtis: Then he floundered, dropped off the map. The stigma of being utterly destroyed by me basically ruined his career. Then he came back to NCW with a new name, obviously cleaned up a bit, even found himself a little wife who doesn't love him and has run away under the disguise of a kidnapping or something, and then just to kick the poor bastard while he's down, he gets put in a match with me again, ready to once again fall to the floor in utter disgrace.
*Curtis slams the book shut and then tosses it through the window.*
Curtis: You see, Jason is involved in his own little world, he's not even paying attention to me. That is his biggest mistake. Because when he was on the sauce and paying attention to me, I whooped his ass. Now that he's off chasing ghosts and frail like a bitch, he's screwed. Flat out, just plain screwed. That's the facts, and he's going to have to live with that. Because since our careers split paths, I've only ascended higher and higher, and he's only fallen and fallen. Now he's at the bottom of the barrel, trying to claw back up. I would feel sorry for him, but I'll never have that problem, so screw him. I have my own problems. Aside from the sloppy sandwich I ate earlier today, I was within moments of winning the world title.
*Curtis pushes all the junk off his desk. He slams his fist into it and then stands up on and jumps up and down.*
Curtis: Moments! I had Steve in the palm of my hand! I had the title within my grasp! I had it! I had it! I HAD IT! Steve was distraught, worst for ware, beaten down in every was possible. One little screw up and he took advantage. Sometimes that all it takes. Ain't life funny like that? But you live, you learn, you love, you laugh, and then you make sure not to do it again. That's just the way things go. BUT IT WAS MINE TO HAVE!
*Curtis jumps up and elbow drops the desk, breaking it in half. He lays in the wreckage. A time lapse goes by and then after thirty minutes sped up, Curtis finally stand from the wreckage.*
Curtis: And now, because of my efforts, Steve is even more weak and easily beatable for Xander. When Xander wins that world title, he'll have me to thank. Will he thank me? No. Will he give me a shot? Probably not. But will I try and force him too? Oh you damn right! Because I just handed Steve Awesome to him on a silver platter, all he has to do is push him over and make the cover. But Xander will never admit that. Because he too, is a douche bag.
*Curtis dusts himself off.*
Curtis; So I need a place to get out my aggression. Now I come to find out, I just finished fighting a Steve, and now I'm fighting another Steve. So that makes it even better. I'm going to run down to that ring, beat the hell out of Steve "Sexy One Jason" Evans. It will be vicious, it will be fun, and I will feel better about myself when it's done. Really, that's all that matters. So it will be fun. Then once the fun is over, it's back to work for me! My job right now is to win that world title, and I'll beat Jason and show everyone in the world that Steve Awesome's victory was a fluke. Peace bitches!
*Curtis walks out of the office and slams the door. The scene fades.*