Post by Ander Carvetti on Oct 30, 2011 4:25:36 GMT -6
“You gain power by pretending to be weak. By contrast, you make people feel strong. You save people by letting them save you.
All you have to do is be fragile and grateful. So stay the underdog.
People really need somebody they feel superior to. So stay downtrodden.
People need somebody they can send a check at Christmas. So stay poor.
"Charity" isn't the right word, but it's the first word that comes to mind” – Chuck Palahniuk
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I love arrogance.
Truly, if there ever was a trait that I loved to see in others, it would have to be arrogance. Pure, unhinged, uncontrolled, holier-than-thou, arrogance.
I love having the opportunity to fight someone who's already decided in the back of their minds how the match is going to go before the bell even rings. The kind of person who will start a promo at the beginning of the week and say just how superior he truly is to everyone else.
This same person will then enter the match with a certain sense of bravado or entitlement, as though they already have the match won. They don't really need to worry about anything else because they've already convinced themselves. They have entered a mindset that has far exceeded the normal parameters of confidence.
They'll step through the ropes and not even bother to acknowledge the person in front of them as though that person is beneath them and should be grateful to even share the same ring. They'll soak up as much of the attention as they can. They'll remind everyone that this match isn't about athleticism or putting on the best damn show possible. No...
It's about “me.”
This match revolves around that person of so much entitlement, arrogance, and pride. It's theirs for the taking. They already even have the post-match figured out. The finish, the reaction, everything. It's almost like it's practically rehearsed.
God, do I love arrogance so much.
You know what else I love about arrogance? What I really love the most? The single biggest kick I get out of seeing that trait when it comes time for the bells to ring?
I love being the guy who knocks the arrogance out of someone.
The fact is, and this is probably true...
You're right, Doc.
You are right.
You probably have beaten guys who are much bigger than me. I'm only 5'10” and I don't even breach two-hundred pounds. I'm even smaller than you are, and you're really not that big of a guy yourself.
What can I little guy like myself do, right?
Badder? I won't even question that you've fought people badder than me. I mean have you looked at me? I'm hardly a problem child in this company. Rat Pack history aside, I keep my nose clean. I don't cause much trouble. The last feud I was involved in never even took place outside of the ring.
Appearance wise, I'm not tatted up. No piercings. If you didn't know what I did, you'd assume that I was a respectable member of society.
Hell, I don't even try to argue the fact that I'm boring. I kind of relish the description, actually. Go ahead. I like being boring. It suits me.
Tougher? Well...
You know what? We'll argue that after the match. If you've looked at me and you think you've got a good read that I'm not a tough guy, then fine. I'm not going to sit here and try to disprove it. I have no need to. Go ahead and run with your assertions about me, your assumptions, whatever it is that you think about me that may be true....
Stick to them if it suits you. You will not be the first, of that I can assure you.
A lot of people in this company have looked down on me before and thought that I would roll over and die for so many different reasons that really, at this point in my professional fighting career, I've actually lost count. Too new, not experienced enough, haven't paid my dues, too lazy, too old, don't have what it takes...
Afraid, even.
Pick the ones you feel are appropriate because I have the feeling you've done the same thing. You've made your decision on me, you've made your judgments, and there's not much I can do to sway your opinion...
Well, okay. There is one thing.
I can do one very simple and very easy thing to change your opinion of how big, bad, tough, and dangerous I am, and I can assure you that it'll change your opinion of me really quick.
I can take your ****ing head off your shoulders and leave you laying in the middle of the ring, just like everyone else.
Let's see what you think of me then.
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(A little known factoid about me: I don't sleep very well. It may attribute to my general demeanor, but I've woken up in the middle of the night so many times before a high profile match, it honestly drives me nuts...)
Grrr....
(This match is no exception.)
”Ugh...Ander?”
(I sit myself up in the hotel room bed and look over at Amy, of whom has been woken up from my growl. She turns and looks over to me, eyes half shut and groggy as can be...)
Don't worry. Just going to use the restroom...
(She rolled back over calmly and covered herself with more of the blankets.)
”Just come back to bed and get some sleep....”
(I get up from the bed and walk myself to the bathroom easily enough. I'll spare you the details of me doing any sort of business other than it's the first option and I feel instantly relieved. Upon finishing this, I walk to the sink and start to wash my hands....)
...And then I look in the mirror.
(Normally, you'd think you'd see yourself, but I'm seeing something different. I'm seeing one year ago. Road To the Gold IV. My Match with Johnny against Blood Ties. Our first title match...)
....Dammit.
(We'd give Blood Ties the match of their lives, but we'd fall short. I took the pin that night. The next month, we won the match and the belts. First and only championship title I've held in nCw. How appropriate that my third opportunity to win gold comes one year later...)
It's not going to end like that... not this time...
(I remember the sting of that loss all too well. For weeks, we chased Blood Ties down to get a return match. We worked our asses off to prove we deserved it. But still... my record at this pay-per-view is Zero and One and I plan on changing that.)
Jonas Potter...
(I was really starting to hate everything about him. His arrogance, his attitude, right down to his lousy name... though then again, mine isn't much better, so I guess we're even. Thanks, Mom. Still, my disposition when it came to him wasn't exactly getting better.)
Sigh...
(As I splashed water onto my face, I felt more awake than ever. For sure, I would love to be back in bed, but I felt like I needed to say something. I wanted to purge the demons from last year... hell, purge the demons of the last two months. This match was the culmination of my revival.)
Sorry, Amy. Can't come to bed quite yet it would seem.
(I walked back into the living area of the hotel room and went searching through my bags. There was the digital camera I had always brought with me for impromptu moments like this. I turned on a small desk light and sat down at it, facing the camera towards me. Finally, I fired it up and hit the record button quickly...)
Sup Doc...
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You know, there is something to be said for name-dropping the people you've beaten. It's really all the same kind of dick-measuring, don't get me wrong. However, It's all just a matter of perspective and when you do it.
See, when you're on top of the world as it were, and you feel a certain need to prove to everyone else why you're the best out there... you name drop those you've stepped on in getting to the top. You remind everyone exactly what road you had to travel to get to where you are. You make sure they know it so you can establish that sense of superiority. And you make it very clear that you have no problem with adding one more name to that list, just to further reinforce that dominance.
When you're not on the top though and you're making that climb... well, that perspective changes. See, when you're making that climb and you drop those same names, you're doing it to prove to the person at the top that you belong. You do it to prove that you're in their league. You show them that you've walked the same dangerous path that they did and that you plan on adding one more name onto that journey to the finish line, thereby making your road just a little bit tougher.
Do you really see much of a difference, Potter?
Good, neither do I.
Again, matter of perspective is all that differentiates what would come out of my mouth and what would come out of yours...
And it's your perspective that intrigues me, Potter.
See... you want to talk fear with me and that's fine. You talk to me as though I've mentally put myself on the edge of survival and despair, and it's because I'm letting my fears dictate my actions.
Perhaps.
Indeed, I fear a lot of things. I fear being a failure. I fear not living up to the potential that I have and the standard that I've set for myself. I fear the thought of being forced away on the terms of someone else versus walking away on my own. I fear the thought of having my child in my lap and explaining to him that his dad was a failure.
Those are all things that run through my head each and every time I walk into a match. If I lose, I risk falling over the edge of failure. Pretty simple.
But I do get a choice in the matter.
For sure, if I resign to my fears, I'm going over the edge. If I half-ass it, if I stop caring, if I give up in the middle of that ring before it's ever begun... then I'm taking that suicide leap. That's all there is to it, right then and there. No questions, no disputes. I'm a failure.
But what if I don't?
What if I decided somewhere in my head that I wasn't going to let a fear of failure stop me from trying. I might lose or I might win, but there's only one way for me to find out and that was to fight. Fight like I have never fought before.
You want to call that being controller by fear?
I call it being dictated by courage.
And honestly Doc, I'm not all that afraid of you. There's nothing you bring to the table that strikes any kind of fear in my heart.
...But I would like to know if you can say the same for me.
See, unlike you, I don't actually have all that much to lose when I step into the ring against you. If you end my career, then fine. It ends. I go out on my shield. I can live with that. I have no doubts in my mind that I'm going to give you all you can handle and more, but if it's not enough, then that's how it is.
But you, Potter... you've talked up one HELL of a game up to this point.
You've made a big deal about how much this title reign really means to you. You've name dropped everyone that you could to prove that this is your destiny. You've had no problems displaying the irony of you being a doctor who now spends his time hurting those he made an effort to heal. You have tried to establish how mentally weak I am. All of this to prove that you've got my number.
Do you really?
Because I think you're scared.
I think you know exactly how dangerous I can really be when I'm in that imaginary corner of mine, and that has you rattled. I think you understand the concept of just how lethal a man on the brink can really be, and just how far someone like that will go to get it done. After all, what can you really take from someone who has little to lose in the first place?
And your sense of irony certainly isn't lost on me, so I get the mind games, but consider something...
I've made an entire career out of stepping into that ring against anyone and everyone the world had to throw in front of me. Big, small, fast, strong, intelligent, brutal, savage... pick one, I've probably fought it. About every time I've stepped into the ring, there's always been someone's that doubted me and what I'm capable of doing. There's always been someone who's tried to point out just how different they are and how I should fear them over the previous person...
You really think you have it in you to offer up something different? You really believe you're the only pro-wrestler who came out of the medical field and has tossed his Hippocratic oath? Was that supposed to shake me? Was that supposed to put me on edge so that you could hope for some psychological advantage?
...Because it didn't. From what I can tell, it looks like the comments of a man getting desperate because he doesn't have much else left to fall back on.
And I think you assumed that if I knew the road you took to get here, I'd be afraid to fight you, because names like Spike Kane, Falcon, and Xander are supposed to rattle me.
Guess what, though? I've beaten Spike Kane before. Falcon I've knocked out. I can say the same thing for Xander. And Alex Jones, too. Same with Jason Evans and Nathan Webb.
Road sound a bit similar there, Potter? Care to know what else I've done? Who else I've beaten? Would you really like to see how long my kill list goes? Does yours actually compare?
You were lucky to give Falcon and Xander a run for their money.
I've knocked them out.
You make such a big deal about just pushing them to the brink, but you couldn't finish the job. You put them on a pedestal as though they're Gods of some kind...
But I made the Gods bleed.
You wish to sit here and tell me that at the end of it all, you're the most dangerous man in this company and that you'll end my career? Spare me the bull. I've stood in the ring with the royalty of this company and have MORE than held my own. You have me on the ledge, but you're not capable of sending me over. You don't have the ability to do it. You never did and you never will. This match is just the formality of showing you how badly your arrogance has betrayed you. You will try, but you will fail. I will knock you out and strip you of your “Honor” and you will go from being in the history books as a great, to just being a mere footnote....
Let THAT sink in.
All you have to do is be fragile and grateful. So stay the underdog.
People really need somebody they feel superior to. So stay downtrodden.
People need somebody they can send a check at Christmas. So stay poor.
"Charity" isn't the right word, but it's the first word that comes to mind” – Chuck Palahniuk
+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
I love arrogance.
Truly, if there ever was a trait that I loved to see in others, it would have to be arrogance. Pure, unhinged, uncontrolled, holier-than-thou, arrogance.
I love having the opportunity to fight someone who's already decided in the back of their minds how the match is going to go before the bell even rings. The kind of person who will start a promo at the beginning of the week and say just how superior he truly is to everyone else.
This same person will then enter the match with a certain sense of bravado or entitlement, as though they already have the match won. They don't really need to worry about anything else because they've already convinced themselves. They have entered a mindset that has far exceeded the normal parameters of confidence.
They'll step through the ropes and not even bother to acknowledge the person in front of them as though that person is beneath them and should be grateful to even share the same ring. They'll soak up as much of the attention as they can. They'll remind everyone that this match isn't about athleticism or putting on the best damn show possible. No...
It's about “me.”
This match revolves around that person of so much entitlement, arrogance, and pride. It's theirs for the taking. They already even have the post-match figured out. The finish, the reaction, everything. It's almost like it's practically rehearsed.
God, do I love arrogance so much.
You know what else I love about arrogance? What I really love the most? The single biggest kick I get out of seeing that trait when it comes time for the bells to ring?
I love being the guy who knocks the arrogance out of someone.
The fact is, and this is probably true...
You're right, Doc.
You are right.
You probably have beaten guys who are much bigger than me. I'm only 5'10” and I don't even breach two-hundred pounds. I'm even smaller than you are, and you're really not that big of a guy yourself.
What can I little guy like myself do, right?
Badder? I won't even question that you've fought people badder than me. I mean have you looked at me? I'm hardly a problem child in this company. Rat Pack history aside, I keep my nose clean. I don't cause much trouble. The last feud I was involved in never even took place outside of the ring.
Appearance wise, I'm not tatted up. No piercings. If you didn't know what I did, you'd assume that I was a respectable member of society.
Hell, I don't even try to argue the fact that I'm boring. I kind of relish the description, actually. Go ahead. I like being boring. It suits me.
Tougher? Well...
You know what? We'll argue that after the match. If you've looked at me and you think you've got a good read that I'm not a tough guy, then fine. I'm not going to sit here and try to disprove it. I have no need to. Go ahead and run with your assertions about me, your assumptions, whatever it is that you think about me that may be true....
Stick to them if it suits you. You will not be the first, of that I can assure you.
A lot of people in this company have looked down on me before and thought that I would roll over and die for so many different reasons that really, at this point in my professional fighting career, I've actually lost count. Too new, not experienced enough, haven't paid my dues, too lazy, too old, don't have what it takes...
Afraid, even.
Pick the ones you feel are appropriate because I have the feeling you've done the same thing. You've made your decision on me, you've made your judgments, and there's not much I can do to sway your opinion...
Well, okay. There is one thing.
I can do one very simple and very easy thing to change your opinion of how big, bad, tough, and dangerous I am, and I can assure you that it'll change your opinion of me really quick.
I can take your ****ing head off your shoulders and leave you laying in the middle of the ring, just like everyone else.
Let's see what you think of me then.
+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
(A little known factoid about me: I don't sleep very well. It may attribute to my general demeanor, but I've woken up in the middle of the night so many times before a high profile match, it honestly drives me nuts...)
Grrr....
(This match is no exception.)
”Ugh...Ander?”
(I sit myself up in the hotel room bed and look over at Amy, of whom has been woken up from my growl. She turns and looks over to me, eyes half shut and groggy as can be...)
Don't worry. Just going to use the restroom...
(She rolled back over calmly and covered herself with more of the blankets.)
”Just come back to bed and get some sleep....”
(I get up from the bed and walk myself to the bathroom easily enough. I'll spare you the details of me doing any sort of business other than it's the first option and I feel instantly relieved. Upon finishing this, I walk to the sink and start to wash my hands....)
...And then I look in the mirror.
(Normally, you'd think you'd see yourself, but I'm seeing something different. I'm seeing one year ago. Road To the Gold IV. My Match with Johnny against Blood Ties. Our first title match...)
....Dammit.
(We'd give Blood Ties the match of their lives, but we'd fall short. I took the pin that night. The next month, we won the match and the belts. First and only championship title I've held in nCw. How appropriate that my third opportunity to win gold comes one year later...)
It's not going to end like that... not this time...
(I remember the sting of that loss all too well. For weeks, we chased Blood Ties down to get a return match. We worked our asses off to prove we deserved it. But still... my record at this pay-per-view is Zero and One and I plan on changing that.)
Jonas Potter...
(I was really starting to hate everything about him. His arrogance, his attitude, right down to his lousy name... though then again, mine isn't much better, so I guess we're even. Thanks, Mom. Still, my disposition when it came to him wasn't exactly getting better.)
Sigh...
(As I splashed water onto my face, I felt more awake than ever. For sure, I would love to be back in bed, but I felt like I needed to say something. I wanted to purge the demons from last year... hell, purge the demons of the last two months. This match was the culmination of my revival.)
Sorry, Amy. Can't come to bed quite yet it would seem.
(I walked back into the living area of the hotel room and went searching through my bags. There was the digital camera I had always brought with me for impromptu moments like this. I turned on a small desk light and sat down at it, facing the camera towards me. Finally, I fired it up and hit the record button quickly...)
Sup Doc...
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You know, there is something to be said for name-dropping the people you've beaten. It's really all the same kind of dick-measuring, don't get me wrong. However, It's all just a matter of perspective and when you do it.
See, when you're on top of the world as it were, and you feel a certain need to prove to everyone else why you're the best out there... you name drop those you've stepped on in getting to the top. You remind everyone exactly what road you had to travel to get to where you are. You make sure they know it so you can establish that sense of superiority. And you make it very clear that you have no problem with adding one more name to that list, just to further reinforce that dominance.
When you're not on the top though and you're making that climb... well, that perspective changes. See, when you're making that climb and you drop those same names, you're doing it to prove to the person at the top that you belong. You do it to prove that you're in their league. You show them that you've walked the same dangerous path that they did and that you plan on adding one more name onto that journey to the finish line, thereby making your road just a little bit tougher.
Do you really see much of a difference, Potter?
Good, neither do I.
Again, matter of perspective is all that differentiates what would come out of my mouth and what would come out of yours...
And it's your perspective that intrigues me, Potter.
See... you want to talk fear with me and that's fine. You talk to me as though I've mentally put myself on the edge of survival and despair, and it's because I'm letting my fears dictate my actions.
Perhaps.
Indeed, I fear a lot of things. I fear being a failure. I fear not living up to the potential that I have and the standard that I've set for myself. I fear the thought of being forced away on the terms of someone else versus walking away on my own. I fear the thought of having my child in my lap and explaining to him that his dad was a failure.
Those are all things that run through my head each and every time I walk into a match. If I lose, I risk falling over the edge of failure. Pretty simple.
But I do get a choice in the matter.
For sure, if I resign to my fears, I'm going over the edge. If I half-ass it, if I stop caring, if I give up in the middle of that ring before it's ever begun... then I'm taking that suicide leap. That's all there is to it, right then and there. No questions, no disputes. I'm a failure.
But what if I don't?
What if I decided somewhere in my head that I wasn't going to let a fear of failure stop me from trying. I might lose or I might win, but there's only one way for me to find out and that was to fight. Fight like I have never fought before.
You want to call that being controller by fear?
I call it being dictated by courage.
And honestly Doc, I'm not all that afraid of you. There's nothing you bring to the table that strikes any kind of fear in my heart.
...But I would like to know if you can say the same for me.
See, unlike you, I don't actually have all that much to lose when I step into the ring against you. If you end my career, then fine. It ends. I go out on my shield. I can live with that. I have no doubts in my mind that I'm going to give you all you can handle and more, but if it's not enough, then that's how it is.
But you, Potter... you've talked up one HELL of a game up to this point.
You've made a big deal about how much this title reign really means to you. You've name dropped everyone that you could to prove that this is your destiny. You've had no problems displaying the irony of you being a doctor who now spends his time hurting those he made an effort to heal. You have tried to establish how mentally weak I am. All of this to prove that you've got my number.
Do you really?
Because I think you're scared.
I think you know exactly how dangerous I can really be when I'm in that imaginary corner of mine, and that has you rattled. I think you understand the concept of just how lethal a man on the brink can really be, and just how far someone like that will go to get it done. After all, what can you really take from someone who has little to lose in the first place?
And your sense of irony certainly isn't lost on me, so I get the mind games, but consider something...
I've made an entire career out of stepping into that ring against anyone and everyone the world had to throw in front of me. Big, small, fast, strong, intelligent, brutal, savage... pick one, I've probably fought it. About every time I've stepped into the ring, there's always been someone's that doubted me and what I'm capable of doing. There's always been someone who's tried to point out just how different they are and how I should fear them over the previous person...
You really think you have it in you to offer up something different? You really believe you're the only pro-wrestler who came out of the medical field and has tossed his Hippocratic oath? Was that supposed to shake me? Was that supposed to put me on edge so that you could hope for some psychological advantage?
...Because it didn't. From what I can tell, it looks like the comments of a man getting desperate because he doesn't have much else left to fall back on.
And I think you assumed that if I knew the road you took to get here, I'd be afraid to fight you, because names like Spike Kane, Falcon, and Xander are supposed to rattle me.
Guess what, though? I've beaten Spike Kane before. Falcon I've knocked out. I can say the same thing for Xander. And Alex Jones, too. Same with Jason Evans and Nathan Webb.
Road sound a bit similar there, Potter? Care to know what else I've done? Who else I've beaten? Would you really like to see how long my kill list goes? Does yours actually compare?
You were lucky to give Falcon and Xander a run for their money.
I've knocked them out.
You make such a big deal about just pushing them to the brink, but you couldn't finish the job. You put them on a pedestal as though they're Gods of some kind...
But I made the Gods bleed.
You wish to sit here and tell me that at the end of it all, you're the most dangerous man in this company and that you'll end my career? Spare me the bull. I've stood in the ring with the royalty of this company and have MORE than held my own. You have me on the ledge, but you're not capable of sending me over. You don't have the ability to do it. You never did and you never will. This match is just the formality of showing you how badly your arrogance has betrayed you. You will try, but you will fail. I will knock you out and strip you of your “Honor” and you will go from being in the history books as a great, to just being a mere footnote....
Let THAT sink in.
