Post by Shelly Taylor-Jones on Nov 24, 2011 17:06:22 GMT -6
Failure. The word alone carries with it a weight that pushes down on ones shoulders until the feeling is so full of pressure you feel like you can’t move. When you put everything into the holding of your dream and that dream gets pulled away and the only person you have to blame is yourself that pressure becomes more than most people can bare. I let it push me down, I let the pressure come close to breaking me. I stopped caring, I stopped wanting to do what I love. All because I lost. The competitor in me hated it, was angry. But my mind and body didn’t care. Then he came. A man I once loved. A man I once felt I couldn’t live without. He told me he never realised I wanted this, he told me he was impressed. In the business we both call ours his name carries more weight than failure. So with his help, can I overcome failure?......
“Stop it.....”
Angel looked at me, a small mixture of confusion and intrigue. A small smirk on his face with his long hair tied back revealing his unconventional good looks and boyish face. His eyes a deep well of emotion, emotion he never talked about. He may not have been the most open of men, but you could tell he cared.
“Stop what?.....”
I sighed deeply and shook my head. I had a feeling he knew what I was talking about but didn’t want to say. He wanted me to say it to start the conversation. I breathed deeply and folded my arms.
“Stop the unfeeling crap.....”
He looked even more confused, even a little hurt.....
“You sit there with your stone face, pushing people away. You did it with me and you did it with Tara.....”
Angel shook his head at me, he didn’t want to talk about it, atleast not with me calling him on his bull****.
“Tara would have trained with you again if you’d given her the chance.....”
His eyes snapped at me, he looked annoyed.
“Tara is weak. I told her what she needed to put the fire back in her heart and to have that passion, she needs that. Tara can only go so far on talent she needs to learn that....”
I snapped back, it’s a reaction between us.....like oil and water....
“And what about me?. I was close to quitting, I lost my passion yet here you are wanting to help me, to train me....”
He leaned back against the wall and shook his head.
“You don’t understand. I know you. I know you have that passion and love for this business, you never lost it, You have a natural talent and I want you to bring that out. And I can help you.......so let’s stop talking and go back to training..you have alot of work to do if you’re going to be champion again.....”
And with that the conversation was over. Back to training, back to Angel trying to make me be better than ever...
“Oh Freya....”
“welcome back to NCW....”
“Nice to see some of our alumni is making an effort to return....”
“Just one problem...”
“You’re facing me...”
“And I’m not in a very welcoming mood...”
“I had it all...”
“World title...”
“top spot on the card....”
“Then it got taken away....”
“How many members of the Kane family are there?.....”
I sigh and shake my head.
“First I watch Megan piss on her husband and brother in law’s legacy by being a complete joke and now here we are with Spike and Brad’s baby sister Freya, the girlfriend, baby mama, wife, “bitch ass ho” of NCW’s hottest new sensation Dexter Davis. Now excuse me for a moment Freya but nothing you can say is going to stop me from thinking of you as a scumbag, mainly because right now I have a problem with your family and most specifically your brother. And too be clear Freya I hope my husband ends that pitiful little worms career. But hearing you talk it kind of dawns on me, you sound like a ten year old girl when you talk. So full of innocence, using words like “I’mma” and “Anywho”. You’re so cute I don’t know if when I get in the ring with you I’m going to wrestle you or play barbies.....”
“Yet even with your childish innocence and even though you sound like you should be in elementary school passing notes under a desk you seem to believe some people think of me as a bimbo. Funny I have a feeling I’ve had this conversation before. I seem to remember Amy Marshall saying things like that until I kicked her teeth down her throat......”
“You really think that you’re going to work your way up to Kelly Knite and get a title shot?. Freya first off, Kelly Knite is a great champion and would eat you alive if you faced her. Second off to get to her you’d have to beat me as you well know. But that isn’t going to happen. See Freya, I regained something I thought I lost. Let’s call it my confidence. I lost to Kelly Knite and I felt it all disappear, but now. Well let’s just say arrogance doesn’t begin to describe me....”
I smirk and shake my head.
“Yet you started talking about my looks and most specifically my breasts. First off my breasts have nothing to do with how i wrestle. Or how good I am, so when you make fun of my body and call me a bimbo and then go on about how you want to keep it respectful I can’t help but want to beat your head in. See Freya you are the first step on my walk back to greatness. Back to my title. It’s nothing personal Freya, but in my mind right now I know that I need to make a statement. I needs to step in the ring and be that dominant force that I was. I need to be what I used to be and to do that I need to destroy you....I’m sorry Freya...but it just has to be this way.......”
“Stop it.....”
Angel looked at me, a small mixture of confusion and intrigue. A small smirk on his face with his long hair tied back revealing his unconventional good looks and boyish face. His eyes a deep well of emotion, emotion he never talked about. He may not have been the most open of men, but you could tell he cared.
“Stop what?.....”
I sighed deeply and shook my head. I had a feeling he knew what I was talking about but didn’t want to say. He wanted me to say it to start the conversation. I breathed deeply and folded my arms.
“Stop the unfeeling crap.....”
He looked even more confused, even a little hurt.....
“You sit there with your stone face, pushing people away. You did it with me and you did it with Tara.....”
Angel shook his head at me, he didn’t want to talk about it, atleast not with me calling him on his bull****.
“Tara would have trained with you again if you’d given her the chance.....”
His eyes snapped at me, he looked annoyed.
“Tara is weak. I told her what she needed to put the fire back in her heart and to have that passion, she needs that. Tara can only go so far on talent she needs to learn that....”
I snapped back, it’s a reaction between us.....like oil and water....
“And what about me?. I was close to quitting, I lost my passion yet here you are wanting to help me, to train me....”
He leaned back against the wall and shook his head.
“You don’t understand. I know you. I know you have that passion and love for this business, you never lost it, You have a natural talent and I want you to bring that out. And I can help you.......so let’s stop talking and go back to training..you have alot of work to do if you’re going to be champion again.....”
And with that the conversation was over. Back to training, back to Angel trying to make me be better than ever...
“Oh Freya....”
“welcome back to NCW....”
“Nice to see some of our alumni is making an effort to return....”
“Just one problem...”
“You’re facing me...”
“And I’m not in a very welcoming mood...”
“I had it all...”
“World title...”
“top spot on the card....”
“Then it got taken away....”
“How many members of the Kane family are there?.....”
I sigh and shake my head.
“First I watch Megan piss on her husband and brother in law’s legacy by being a complete joke and now here we are with Spike and Brad’s baby sister Freya, the girlfriend, baby mama, wife, “bitch ass ho” of NCW’s hottest new sensation Dexter Davis. Now excuse me for a moment Freya but nothing you can say is going to stop me from thinking of you as a scumbag, mainly because right now I have a problem with your family and most specifically your brother. And too be clear Freya I hope my husband ends that pitiful little worms career. But hearing you talk it kind of dawns on me, you sound like a ten year old girl when you talk. So full of innocence, using words like “I’mma” and “Anywho”. You’re so cute I don’t know if when I get in the ring with you I’m going to wrestle you or play barbies.....”
“Yet even with your childish innocence and even though you sound like you should be in elementary school passing notes under a desk you seem to believe some people think of me as a bimbo. Funny I have a feeling I’ve had this conversation before. I seem to remember Amy Marshall saying things like that until I kicked her teeth down her throat......”
“You really think that you’re going to work your way up to Kelly Knite and get a title shot?. Freya first off, Kelly Knite is a great champion and would eat you alive if you faced her. Second off to get to her you’d have to beat me as you well know. But that isn’t going to happen. See Freya, I regained something I thought I lost. Let’s call it my confidence. I lost to Kelly Knite and I felt it all disappear, but now. Well let’s just say arrogance doesn’t begin to describe me....”
I smirk and shake my head.
“Yet you started talking about my looks and most specifically my breasts. First off my breasts have nothing to do with how i wrestle. Or how good I am, so when you make fun of my body and call me a bimbo and then go on about how you want to keep it respectful I can’t help but want to beat your head in. See Freya you are the first step on my walk back to greatness. Back to my title. It’s nothing personal Freya, but in my mind right now I know that I need to make a statement. I needs to step in the ring and be that dominant force that I was. I need to be what I used to be and to do that I need to destroy you....I’m sorry Freya...but it just has to be this way.......”
