Post by Matt Jackson on Nov 25, 2011 17:26:34 GMT -6
“It’s a bird....”
“It’s a plane....”
“No....”
“It’s a man purse.....”
“And it seems as if the giant hand bag is thinking...”
“having some inner reflection....”
“here we are...”
“ready to do battle....”
“two men....”
“Against one man....”
“And his luggage....”
“Andrew, Andrew, Andrew....”
I smirk and fold my arms.
“Feeling the pressure?. Starting to realise your limitations as a
wrestler?, and a man?. It’s alright Andrew, you’re having some reflection about your life, it’s healthy and it’s normal. It helps you improve as a person and become a stronger individual with some self belief. Atleast it should do that Andrew, but for the last two years it’s all you’ve done and it hasn’t worked. You were a joke when you came here and you’re a joke now, nothing has changed. You won two X-Division titles, then.....nothing. As you said you spent two months getting kicked around by Alex Jones, two months of you telling the world “I’m better than him, I’m one of the best” and two months of failure and looking like a complete moron, you led a group from being a top force in NCW all the way to the bottom of the barrel almost killing three other men’s careers in the process....”
“Then your big break happened. Late one night by the fire in a log cabin somewhere in the wilds of Alaska Rob Diamond took your skinny little hand, slipped a fake diamond ring on your girly little finger and asked you to be his eternal backpack.....a hallmark moment if I’ve ever heard one. And you and Rob have had so much success, you beat Lex Sense and Jimmy Zane also known as “man and backpack version 1”, then you beat the internationals who are such a tough credible team right?. I mean wow those two really took me and Markus to the limit, for all of about five seconds until the bell actually rang.....”
“But as we have this lovely holiday and you sit and ask what you have to be thankful for and seem to come up with nothing but self loathing and self pity, I’m thankful for so much in my life....”
I smile and stand up.
“I’m thankful that I’m still alive, I’m thankful for my career, I’m thankful for my tag team partner and good friend Markus Reeves, I’m thankful for my employer Todd Williams, but most of all, I’m thankful I’m not you. A pasty faced little white boy who has had everything given to him yet whines and bitches about it. You had top billing on TV, you got handed the leadership of a group and got earmarked as a future champion by Venom but you failed to live up to the hype, You had national title shots handed to you just because you decided to go after Alex Jones, and failed to win. You’ve had all these opportunities and failed Andrew, FAILED. The only reason you’re tag team champion is because Rob Diamond is good enough to carry your ass....”
“But all is not lost. See right now, you’re a man purse, a joke. At one point Markus Reeves was a joke. He was laughed at, made fun of, but slowly he has turned his life and career around to become a monster and one half of the soon to be tag team champions. To go through a life changing transformation like that you need to lose it all, so Mark and I are going to do you a favour Andrew. We’re going to ease you into the transition of hitting rock bottom.....”
“You’ve already started with your little “woe is me” speech. Your family hates you, your best friends are complete douche bags, your career is in shambles, Doc is back to try and destroy you, yeah your life is pretty pathetic. And what’s worse, is that you’re whining about it. But I’m going to be kind to you Andrew. You see Instead of long, drawn pout torture, I’m going to take you down, and out a bullet in your skull like an old diseased pet or a race horse that has come up lame.....thank me later Andrew.........”
I fold my arms and lean back against the wall....
“And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, I move on to the other half of the tag team Rob Dia-....uh....Lord Dominicus?. Um, lame attempt at making fun of one’s self?. You know the guy who was world champion before rolling over for Steve Awesome and laying on his back like every hooker has done for him. It’s a great attempt Rob. Really, trying to claw back that credibility. Winning the world title, winning the tag titles, being with Zelda, all of hit was just you trying to claw back everything you lost when you decided to be Lord Dominicus, tried to kill yourself and dry humped a puppet. But honestly Rob I don’t want you and your super duper breaking the forth wall powers to get upset, I wasn’t making fun of the puppet really, I mean with that thing it was completely acceptable to slide your hand in its ass and make it talk, I heard Jacobsen squealed when you tried that **** on him....”
“By the way, just an FYI, my name isn’t Tito, or Michael, or Jermaine, or Randy, my name is Matt Jackson. I’m not a member of the Jackson five, the Jacksons, the Jackson family and I’m not related to formerly but still kind of fat American idol judge Randy Jackson. I don’t sing, I don’t dance, I wasn’t a member of journey and I don’t get unnecessary plastic surgery, I don’t molest kids, I’m Matt Jackson and I destroy people for a living. You may have beaten me Rob and now here you are with your big boy hair’s making fun of me, but eve though I tapped out in a match to fight another day I’m still content with the fact I’ve taken other people’s lives and you’re so much of a pussy you could only try and take your own.....”
“And even then you failed. So either you’re just a failure or you just did it for attention. See that makes sense, because you are far from a failure Robert. You are however an attention whore. Poor little Rob wants attention, poor little Rob isn’t in the spotlight OH NO. I’m happy you have your little relationship issue sorted out. I’m happy you were able to lie to Zelda and put on the act. You made her think you are a decent human being capable of love instead of the egotistical emotionally crippled anti-hero asshole you really are. You can keep bitching about my suicide jokes all you want rob, In the end this is what it is, this is you and Jacobsen limping through a lacklustre title reign where you have done NOTHING with those belts finally being forced to face two men who came together wanting to be an equal team, not the whole slave master thing you and Jacobsen have going,....”
I nod and move forward.
“But hey it’s fine Rob you just stand there stomping your feet screaming “IT’S NOT FAIR THEY DON’T DESERVE IT” over and over like the man child you are, meanwhile we’ll be preparing for this match, a match NCW management gave us because THEY SEE US AS A REAL TEAM. See you Sunday Rob and please....don’t forget your puppet......”
Close on a picture of Andrew Jacobsen
“It’s a plane....”
“No....”
“It’s a man purse.....”
“And it seems as if the giant hand bag is thinking...”
“having some inner reflection....”
“here we are...”
“ready to do battle....”
“two men....”
“Against one man....”
“And his luggage....”
“Andrew, Andrew, Andrew....”
I smirk and fold my arms.
“Feeling the pressure?. Starting to realise your limitations as a
wrestler?, and a man?. It’s alright Andrew, you’re having some reflection about your life, it’s healthy and it’s normal. It helps you improve as a person and become a stronger individual with some self belief. Atleast it should do that Andrew, but for the last two years it’s all you’ve done and it hasn’t worked. You were a joke when you came here and you’re a joke now, nothing has changed. You won two X-Division titles, then.....nothing. As you said you spent two months getting kicked around by Alex Jones, two months of you telling the world “I’m better than him, I’m one of the best” and two months of failure and looking like a complete moron, you led a group from being a top force in NCW all the way to the bottom of the barrel almost killing three other men’s careers in the process....”
“Then your big break happened. Late one night by the fire in a log cabin somewhere in the wilds of Alaska Rob Diamond took your skinny little hand, slipped a fake diamond ring on your girly little finger and asked you to be his eternal backpack.....a hallmark moment if I’ve ever heard one. And you and Rob have had so much success, you beat Lex Sense and Jimmy Zane also known as “man and backpack version 1”, then you beat the internationals who are such a tough credible team right?. I mean wow those two really took me and Markus to the limit, for all of about five seconds until the bell actually rang.....”
“But as we have this lovely holiday and you sit and ask what you have to be thankful for and seem to come up with nothing but self loathing and self pity, I’m thankful for so much in my life....”
I smile and stand up.
“I’m thankful that I’m still alive, I’m thankful for my career, I’m thankful for my tag team partner and good friend Markus Reeves, I’m thankful for my employer Todd Williams, but most of all, I’m thankful I’m not you. A pasty faced little white boy who has had everything given to him yet whines and bitches about it. You had top billing on TV, you got handed the leadership of a group and got earmarked as a future champion by Venom but you failed to live up to the hype, You had national title shots handed to you just because you decided to go after Alex Jones, and failed to win. You’ve had all these opportunities and failed Andrew, FAILED. The only reason you’re tag team champion is because Rob Diamond is good enough to carry your ass....”
“But all is not lost. See right now, you’re a man purse, a joke. At one point Markus Reeves was a joke. He was laughed at, made fun of, but slowly he has turned his life and career around to become a monster and one half of the soon to be tag team champions. To go through a life changing transformation like that you need to lose it all, so Mark and I are going to do you a favour Andrew. We’re going to ease you into the transition of hitting rock bottom.....”
“You’ve already started with your little “woe is me” speech. Your family hates you, your best friends are complete douche bags, your career is in shambles, Doc is back to try and destroy you, yeah your life is pretty pathetic. And what’s worse, is that you’re whining about it. But I’m going to be kind to you Andrew. You see Instead of long, drawn pout torture, I’m going to take you down, and out a bullet in your skull like an old diseased pet or a race horse that has come up lame.....thank me later Andrew.........”
I fold my arms and lean back against the wall....
“And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, I move on to the other half of the tag team Rob Dia-....uh....Lord Dominicus?. Um, lame attempt at making fun of one’s self?. You know the guy who was world champion before rolling over for Steve Awesome and laying on his back like every hooker has done for him. It’s a great attempt Rob. Really, trying to claw back that credibility. Winning the world title, winning the tag titles, being with Zelda, all of hit was just you trying to claw back everything you lost when you decided to be Lord Dominicus, tried to kill yourself and dry humped a puppet. But honestly Rob I don’t want you and your super duper breaking the forth wall powers to get upset, I wasn’t making fun of the puppet really, I mean with that thing it was completely acceptable to slide your hand in its ass and make it talk, I heard Jacobsen squealed when you tried that **** on him....”
“By the way, just an FYI, my name isn’t Tito, or Michael, or Jermaine, or Randy, my name is Matt Jackson. I’m not a member of the Jackson five, the Jacksons, the Jackson family and I’m not related to formerly but still kind of fat American idol judge Randy Jackson. I don’t sing, I don’t dance, I wasn’t a member of journey and I don’t get unnecessary plastic surgery, I don’t molest kids, I’m Matt Jackson and I destroy people for a living. You may have beaten me Rob and now here you are with your big boy hair’s making fun of me, but eve though I tapped out in a match to fight another day I’m still content with the fact I’ve taken other people’s lives and you’re so much of a pussy you could only try and take your own.....”
“And even then you failed. So either you’re just a failure or you just did it for attention. See that makes sense, because you are far from a failure Robert. You are however an attention whore. Poor little Rob wants attention, poor little Rob isn’t in the spotlight OH NO. I’m happy you have your little relationship issue sorted out. I’m happy you were able to lie to Zelda and put on the act. You made her think you are a decent human being capable of love instead of the egotistical emotionally crippled anti-hero asshole you really are. You can keep bitching about my suicide jokes all you want rob, In the end this is what it is, this is you and Jacobsen limping through a lacklustre title reign where you have done NOTHING with those belts finally being forced to face two men who came together wanting to be an equal team, not the whole slave master thing you and Jacobsen have going,....”
I nod and move forward.
“But hey it’s fine Rob you just stand there stomping your feet screaming “IT’S NOT FAIR THEY DON’T DESERVE IT” over and over like the man child you are, meanwhile we’ll be preparing for this match, a match NCW management gave us because THEY SEE US AS A REAL TEAM. See you Sunday Rob and please....don’t forget your puppet......”
Close on a picture of Andrew Jacobsen
