Post by "The Expert" Bob Grenier on Nov 25, 2011 21:19:33 GMT -6
*Somewhere in the world, a young male wrestling fan clicks a youtube link*
"THE GARAGE"
SOME IMAGES MAY BE DISTURBING
(Bob Grenier is in a garage. This was the garage where James Grenier spent many a night working on things that were "broken" and drinking Whiskey as to escape his nagging wife. Parts of 4 wheelers, Snowmobiles and various other things are scattered about and rusted. Towards the back is an old John Deere tractor circa 1920. When Bob was a boy of maybe 10, his grandfather and him fished it out the mud that it had been sitting in for 20 years of so. This was also his first experience with the bottle. He is sitting on a little wooden chair between a dead bear and the moose his friends shot yesterday.)
Bob: I carried this beast on my back, from the woods to this garage. He got shot between the eyes. I call him Disdonn.
(He slaps the moose and let's out a smirk as he wraps his fingers around the antlers and moves it's head a bit.)
Bob: Tabernac, Dieu et la lutte ne pas mélanger.
(He laughs at this)
Bob: Disdonn, It will by MY pleasure to break every single bone in your over sized body. I'll tear you down limb from limb you dumb oaf. God cannot help you Sunday night. Your size just does not matter to me. I am a shark. You'll be the one weeping when I beat you to a pulp.
(Grenier reaches into his pocket and pulls out a piece of paper. He clears his throat and begins to read a poem.)
Disdonn Sucks, That's a fact.
I'll break his legs, I'll break his back.
That belt is mine for the taking.
Not just idle threats I'm making.
I'll make him cry, I'll make him bleed
I'm the Vulture, I need to feed.
I'm a pack of wolves I am
I am not a common man.
I'll tell you what it is I do.
Make a fool of chumps like you.
God and Wrestling do not mix.
So get a clue or hit the bricks.
Tell your momma don't be sad.
Tell your dad you've met your match.
You will not win, not even close.
I'll do you in, You'll smell burnt toast.
Bob: I've encountered a lot scarier things in my life than you Disdonn. I've been through the ringer. We have one thing in common though, and that is the dark side. I have one too. You are lucky to be dealing with me at this stage in my life, and not me 3 weeks ago, that actually goes for everyone. I may be smaller in stature than you, but my back is stronger and my will is mightier, I have a heart and the passion to take anything you throw at me. I will just stand there and take it like a champion. While you are in the sewers, fooling around underground with defenseless women doing god knows what to them I am hear trying to make a difference. There is no place in this company or this entire business for a person like you. You should have been put down at birth you untalented hack. You're a no good man-child who should be sedated with the highest grade pharmaceuticals. I'll be happy to administer the dose that will put you under for good. You probably think this is some kind of game, It's not, I am a trained professional and this is my job, I understand that you are too stupid to understand that but it is the truth. You are not welcome in my ring. Show up Sunday and I do not care how big and menacing you think you are, I will show you the door. I will find your kill spot and I will exploit it.
(He turns to the bear that is on the other side of him and gives that a whack as well.)
Bob: Yesterday while I was getting ready to cart Disdonn out of the woods. I was approached by a bear. Realizing that my gun was out of bullets, I beat this monster to the ground with the butt end of my shotgun and strangled him to death with my bare hands. Jackhammer, you better enjoy all the peace and tranquility you can get. Relax at home, put your feet up with a beer, watch some television, go to bed and make love to your wife for the last time. Get in my way Sunday buddy and I will end you. I was starting to have a little bit of respect for you, then you opened your worthless mouth. You are right and wrong pal, I WAS a cracking smoking dope fiend, I'll be the first to tell anyone about my past and my mistakes, and the stupid things I have to my mind and body, but with that one little smart mouth comment you have awoken the beast. I have a wet dream every night I'll have you know, I am a man. I bet you can hardly even get it up anymore you roided out freak. You are going to get hurt. Keep back talking me and see what happens. Last time I checked this was not hell in a cell, so there is no way you are going to be able to deliver that earth shatter.
(Bob Grenier get's up from his seat and looks at some of his old grandfathers tools with admiration. They are rusted as well but bring back alot of memories.)
Bob: I got one asshole glorifying violence with barbed wire steel chairs, and another one calling himself the "Chi-Town Terror"
(He says this in a very mocking tone, and picks up a hammer)
Bob: Jason Evans, do some research. I'm thankful to have an opponent as dumb as you. My family is mostly deceased and I'm from f****g Canada, thanksgiving was a month ago. Spare me this "May the best man win" BS. The best man will win, The best man is sitting right here in this majestic garage calling you out. Of course you have to work hard, Whats with you chumps just stating the obvious? There's one thing I hate more than anything in the world and it is Cops. I'm going to take great joy in smacking you around Evans, Great pride in putting you up in The Hotbox over and over again, just because you used to be a police officer, you should have kept it to yourself because now I am out for your blood. I'll be damned if I'm gonna let some pig get in the way of my rise to the top of this company. I may just have to bring a pair of handcuffs, and after the match when I am standing victorious, I'll slap em' on you and give you the beating of your life. You should have stayed in that profession friend. Good work habits and working hard in the gym will get you nowhere this go round' Sexy One. Keep thinking about Christmas and whether you will make it home or not while this animal is breathing down your neck and see what happens. Tell Momma If dad still ain't keeping his woman satisfied I am just a phone call away, and she'll definitely be seeing us real soon. "Sexy One", I think you are a Homosexual. Yeah I said it! I am now questioning your sexuality, What are you going to do about it? You say I talk a big game and ask if I can back it up? Does Tarzan **** in the jungle? I wouldn't be talking like this if I didn't know 100 % that I could back it up. There is going to be a belt around my waist in the future, that you were right about. It will be alot sooner than you think.
(Bob wipes the dust off of an old picture perched on a shelf. It is a photo of himself at a young age, his grandfather and father, complete with a beer in each hand.)
Bob: Memories. It's going to be very memorable for me. I will remember this coming Sunday night for the rest of my life, because that is the night all my wildest dreams come true. Women will be screaming my name. Children will be chanting "Expert, Expert" and I will have this company in the palm of my hands. Nobody is taking it away and I cannot stress that enough. I must be the only sane one in this match because I am the only one that is making any sense. Again, I will not be defeated. This will be my triumph, This will be my finest hour. My 15 minutes of fame are about to begin but they will not expire, they will just keep rolling over, again and again. I am going one way and that is Up, so you fellas keep talking, keep dreaming but realize It's not going to happen, they say absence makes the heart grow fonder, so maybe when you all lose you will want it just a little more, you'll train just a little harder but for now it is my time. If it were not for all the little people, Great ones would not exist. You 5 boys are those little people about to be trampled on. Be afraid of the big bad wolf because I am coming to stomp down your house made of bricks. This match features the most extraordinary collection of talent assembled in one ring in a long time. A man Child, A roided' out freak, A guy named Freakke and a man who dubs himself "Sexy One" in a ring full of men.
(Bob yanks open a drawer and inside is a horseshoe. He holds it in his hands for a moment and smiles to himself.)
Bob: I've been lucky all my life. I'm lucky to be alive and lucky to be able to climb into that ring with my opponents. Although I talk way too much I am not underestimating you guy's, I know I may need a little bit of luck to win this thing, So Bobby is bringing his horseshoe. Whether you are large and menacing, a former nCw champion, a newbie or an up and comer, You will fall to me.
(Bob still has the horseshoe in his hand, as he sit's on the chair again between the moose and the bear he lights a cigarette and puffs happily.)
Bob: I hate to break the news to you Evans, but It will be a long long time before you are a champion again. As long as we are both breathing the same air, you will be one rung underneath me. I don't care about your plans, your plans are futile so you may as well toss said plans out the window. I woke up and smelled the coffee this morning pal, then I chugged the whole pot. I happen to be a fortune teller myself buddy, I see you laying in a hospital bed, leg's broken, fat surly nurse giving you a sponge bath while you eat your food through an IV tube. I'll bet my last dollar on it. Hell, if you pin me I'll quit. I'll go back to my miserable existence. Shoving mister brownstone into my veins. Stay Home.
(Grenier get' out of his chair and grabs a great big knife. He plunges the knife into the mooses stomach and slices downwards. The insides spill out onto the floor. He has begun cutting up this moose and later will enjoy a nice steak.)
Bob: I want the 5 of you to bring me everything you have. I want the 5 of you to do your worst. I want the 5 of you to dig deep. The war of words is coming to a close and Sunday night is getting closer and closer. 2 more sleeps. 2 more sleeps and you will ALL realize that I am the monster lurking underneath your bed. I am everything that you fear. Our lives will go on after this is all said and done, but none of you will ever be the same.
(Bob continues to hack away at his moose, removing every edible part. This Sunday night the **** will hit the fan and 6 men will compete for a shot at the Honor Championship. This has the makings of a classic bloodbath. There are many combustible elements and it is going to get very interesting. There is no doubt that this could be match of the night.)
