Post by Ander Carvetti on Nov 26, 2011 0:06:58 GMT -6
Often times, the things that we see in others that we despise...
...It's things that we hate in ourselves. Things that make us cringe. Things that we don't want to acknowledge and want to pretend aren't really there, but if we desire any level of improvement, we have to accept it and make an honest effort to learn from it.
For most people, this isn't really the case. Most individuals are really just content to continue on with their folly. It beats actually putting in hard work and improving one's self.
More importantly, those same people will look at those traits and continue to revile others for it. It's a sad state of affairs, really.
Throughout my career, I've had to gut-check myself and recognize when I'm letting myself slip. It's tough to take yourself to task like that, but it must be done if you want to succeed.
More importantly than that, I have to catch myself when I point out the flaws in others. When I question someone's commitment, it requires me to make sure that I'm in the right position to be making those criticisms.
Should I question someone's heart if I'm not displaying any myself?
Am I allowed to bring someone back to reality when I have dreams of my own?
Do I have the right to belittle the accomplishments of others when I myself have done so little?
My time in this company has not been long, but I've taken on big names. Some of them I've beaten, some of them I've lost to. Some weren't big names at the time when I took them down, but are now. Does that count? Does it even matter?
Still, I have to be weary of moments like these. Moments where I'm on a proverbial high horse looking down on someone else. The temptation often finds itself rearing it's ugly head when a match starts to get competitive...
I encountered a lot of enemies who stood on a high horse, only to have me knock them down. Do I want to fall in the same fashion as them or do I want to avoid that fall from grace? For that matter, is that eventual fall even avoidable? Can it be avoided? At some point, don't we all experience the Pride before the Fall?
With this match at Breaking Away, I have to take a look in the mirror at what I am. A champion making his first title defense against a contender. Not the first time I've been in this position. Of course, we all know how that first time ended.
One and done.
I have to make sure that my heart is in this match. That my desire to compete is burning strong. I need to keep my head out of the clouds and my feet grounded in reality. Often times, these matches are never as easy as they seem.
I need to look at my mistakes and learn from them. This month has been chock full of them. I can't afford to make another. It would catastrophic if I did.
Most importantly though?
I need to look at my opponent and remember one thing.
If I didn't bother to look at him, take a look inside myself, and gut-check myself whenever I've fouled up. If I didn't take that knowledge to try and improve myself and use it to be a better champion. If I just let myself falter, wallow, and decay in a way that would leave me antiquated to the rest of the wrestling world...
Well...
I'd be Joe Everyman.
+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
(It was a scary thought to be honest. The notion that I could very well end up just like Joe Everyman. It's a label that no one in this company wants. It's so bad even Joe himself is trying to shed it...)
”Hey babe, how'd the interview go?”
(Of course, he's also trying to shed it at my expense. He wants the belt that I have and he's dead-set on the notion that he's going to get it. I don't know if he realizes or not how difficult that's going to be, but from his promos two weeks ago... you'd think he's got it locked.)
”...Wonderfully boring.”
(Coming out of my own thoughts, I had a look at Amy who had been waiting for me to find her after the interview was all said and done. I smiled gently when I told her how it went and she shook her head and chuckled.)
”Was she that shocked by it?”
(I nodded and grinned.)
”I think so, yeah. At least I was the one who walked out of it this time. I was getting kind of bored with it myself.”
(Amy immediately busted out in laughter and upon realizing the comment, I couldn't help but do the same. I'm so boring, I bore myself to tears!)
”Oh God! It's true! I truly am the most boring athlete in this company!”
”Hahahaha, what are we going to do with you?”
(I shrugged and made the best attempt I could to contain my laughter...)
”Throw me in the ring with Joe Everyman. I figured that was obvious.”
”Yeah, but what are you going to do about him? He's been more silent than you have this week. Do you think he has something on his mind? A plan?”
(I shrugged again and smiled...)
”Quite possibly. Not really worried though. No reason to be.”
”Oh? Why not?”
(I looked at Amy's and smiled gently. I already knew why I had no reason to worry about this match...)
Simple.
I'm not Joe Everyman.
+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
You know, there was something I said to you Joe that ever since I said it, I really can't get it off of my mind.
It's the kind of self-realization that resonates with you. You don't really catch it until you hear yourself say it and you have to ask yourself “Why?”
Now, you're probably wondering what the hell I'm talking about and that's a good question. What part of my own promo work has struck a small nerve within myself?
Okay, I'll get to the point here.
I mentioned that when it came to Joe Everyman and everything that he has ever stood for in his tenure here in nCw, I couldn't decide if I respected him for his heart, pitied his delusions of grandeur when it came to what he was capable of, or wanted to just outright mock him for being the company whipping boy and continually lying to himself about it.
The more I think about this, and the more I dwell, the more I start to wonder exactly which of these happens to be true? Which of these do I find myself believing?
Answer?
All three.
First and foremost Joe, I do respect you, at least to a point. I don't like you, I don't care what happens to your career, and I know the feeling is mutual. You might not even respect me for any reason whatsoever, but I do respect you.
What do I respect exactly?
You keep coming back.
I know I asked you why the hell do you keep bothering, but I don't think it matters, or at least it shouldn't. Your reasons are your own and as long as you keep getting in that ring, and keep telling yourself that this one match will be different, who am I to hate you for that? What right do I have to openly disrespect someone for at least accomplishing the hardest part of this job, of which is stepping in between those ropes and putting it all on the line when the bell rings?
I guess the easy answer to that is that I do the same thing every week, but that I've been more successful, which gives me some measure to gloat. Even still though, I respect you for just showing up. You fight and if that's all there was to it, then I would stop here and wish you good luck...
...And rest assured since you will be trapped in there with me until I decide it's over, you will need all the luck that you can get...
But, as always, there is just a little more to it than just the notion of respect. Some of this has sprung up because of the things that you've said. The fact that you are going to beat me, and that there's nothing I can do about it. That you are going to take the title that I won and that's all there is to it. It's almost like you decreed it in your own fantasy world and that should just make it so...
...And for that Joe, I pity you. I really do.
I recognize that confidence, Joe. That bravado. That belief that nothing is going to hold you down and that each time you tell yourself that you're going to make me suffer in ways that I've never suffered before and that you are going to dethrone me in the most embarrassing of ways, I'm fairly certain that you genuinely believe that. You believe yourself to be capable of just that and that perhaps it will be that easy.
I would know...
I've said the same things too.
I've told some of the most vicious men in this company that they weren't going to one-up me because they had never fought someone like me before. They had no idea what they were going to be getting themselves into. They didn't know exactly how hard or how vicious I could be and that I would be willing to prove it. Of course, they didn't believe it either. They looked at me almost in the same way that I'm looking at you.
Hell... much like how you probably looked at me the first time you encountered me. That first encounter where I was just starting to come into my own.
Here is the key difference, Joe. The difference you and I. The main separation from where I stood and where you stand now.
I knew it was never THAT easy.
I knew from day one that every word that came out of my mouth was going to earn me a murderer's row of opponents and I gladly accepted that. I wanted it. I knew I was going to get pushed and forced to back up everything that came out of my mouth. I knew that if I didn't prove myself to be as good as advertised, make no mistake, I really would not have a leg to stand on.
Heh, there's that phrase again. Not having a leg to stand on...
By the way, Joe... how's your balance right now?
Anyway.
I knew what my words would get me and I wanted that. I wanted that more than you could possibly ever know. I also knew it would be a very hard path to take and I would struggle, but anything worthwhile in life is inevitably worth struggling for.
I knew that from day one.
That's why I won the tag titles against Angel and Alex Jones.
That's why I have this belt now.
Everyman, I would take this moment and I would rethink exactly what you said to me at the beginning of this month. If you feel that this is going to be a cakewalk and that I would just die because you said it to be so, you're going to fall and you are going to fall HARD. I will make you look silly and I will add another triple digit loss to your record. Another loss that you're going to have to answer for...
Or, you know what?
Maybe you won't.
Maybe you won't acknowledge that loss. You'll pretend it's not there and instead you'll just focus on all the wonderful things that you've done in your career. Your three National Championship Reigns and your X-Division Reign and how you deserve so much more in this company...
But yet, you'll lose. You'll drop the ball. You'll fail and you will fail in a way that even leaves the Cubs speechless. And then you will try to use those defeats to gain sympathy from everyone else without actually learning anything from it.
And this is why they mock you instead.
This is why I mock you.
I'm not just my victories. My losses make up as much of me as my wins and I have to answer for those losses, rest assured. I can't hide from them. I can't pretend they didn't happen...
And believe me, some days... some days I want to forget who I've lost to. I'd love to forget that I'm 1-1 in single's matches with Jason Evans. Same with Todd Williams. I'd love to forget that I'm 0-2 against Jimmy Zane and he's using that as a sound enough reason to criticize me and push for his behind the scenes bestie, Potter, to get a rematch.
I'd probably do anything under the sun to get that limey prick Paul Star back in this company for one more match. One more opportunity to slam my foot into his face over and over again until he's out cold. I would KILL for that chance.
But those losses can't be helped. They happened. I accept it. If anything, it's made me stronger. It's made me better. It's shown me what I need to improve. It's shown me the level I need to rise to.
A level you refuse to even try to achieve.
Maybe that's actually the big difference between us, Joe. We both have heart for days. We're both willing to stand up and fight with everything we have. No one will certainly take those things from you...
But when it comes to learning from those experiences that we encounter on that proverbial Path of Honor...
It seems that I was the only one to pay attention. I took the road less traveled and I found myself better for it.
But you? You're gonna keep walking the same path your own. The path that diverts me from you. You're going to keep walking it because that's what you do and you're going to find the same thing that you always do once your path reaches it's conclusion.
A Dead End.
...It's things that we hate in ourselves. Things that make us cringe. Things that we don't want to acknowledge and want to pretend aren't really there, but if we desire any level of improvement, we have to accept it and make an honest effort to learn from it.
For most people, this isn't really the case. Most individuals are really just content to continue on with their folly. It beats actually putting in hard work and improving one's self.
More importantly, those same people will look at those traits and continue to revile others for it. It's a sad state of affairs, really.
Throughout my career, I've had to gut-check myself and recognize when I'm letting myself slip. It's tough to take yourself to task like that, but it must be done if you want to succeed.
More importantly than that, I have to catch myself when I point out the flaws in others. When I question someone's commitment, it requires me to make sure that I'm in the right position to be making those criticisms.
Should I question someone's heart if I'm not displaying any myself?
Am I allowed to bring someone back to reality when I have dreams of my own?
Do I have the right to belittle the accomplishments of others when I myself have done so little?
My time in this company has not been long, but I've taken on big names. Some of them I've beaten, some of them I've lost to. Some weren't big names at the time when I took them down, but are now. Does that count? Does it even matter?
Still, I have to be weary of moments like these. Moments where I'm on a proverbial high horse looking down on someone else. The temptation often finds itself rearing it's ugly head when a match starts to get competitive...
I encountered a lot of enemies who stood on a high horse, only to have me knock them down. Do I want to fall in the same fashion as them or do I want to avoid that fall from grace? For that matter, is that eventual fall even avoidable? Can it be avoided? At some point, don't we all experience the Pride before the Fall?
With this match at Breaking Away, I have to take a look in the mirror at what I am. A champion making his first title defense against a contender. Not the first time I've been in this position. Of course, we all know how that first time ended.
One and done.
I have to make sure that my heart is in this match. That my desire to compete is burning strong. I need to keep my head out of the clouds and my feet grounded in reality. Often times, these matches are never as easy as they seem.
I need to look at my mistakes and learn from them. This month has been chock full of them. I can't afford to make another. It would catastrophic if I did.
Most importantly though?
I need to look at my opponent and remember one thing.
If I didn't bother to look at him, take a look inside myself, and gut-check myself whenever I've fouled up. If I didn't take that knowledge to try and improve myself and use it to be a better champion. If I just let myself falter, wallow, and decay in a way that would leave me antiquated to the rest of the wrestling world...
Well...
I'd be Joe Everyman.
+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
(It was a scary thought to be honest. The notion that I could very well end up just like Joe Everyman. It's a label that no one in this company wants. It's so bad even Joe himself is trying to shed it...)
”Hey babe, how'd the interview go?”
(Of course, he's also trying to shed it at my expense. He wants the belt that I have and he's dead-set on the notion that he's going to get it. I don't know if he realizes or not how difficult that's going to be, but from his promos two weeks ago... you'd think he's got it locked.)
”...Wonderfully boring.”
(Coming out of my own thoughts, I had a look at Amy who had been waiting for me to find her after the interview was all said and done. I smiled gently when I told her how it went and she shook her head and chuckled.)
”Was she that shocked by it?”
(I nodded and grinned.)
”I think so, yeah. At least I was the one who walked out of it this time. I was getting kind of bored with it myself.”
(Amy immediately busted out in laughter and upon realizing the comment, I couldn't help but do the same. I'm so boring, I bore myself to tears!)
”Oh God! It's true! I truly am the most boring athlete in this company!”
”Hahahaha, what are we going to do with you?”
(I shrugged and made the best attempt I could to contain my laughter...)
”Throw me in the ring with Joe Everyman. I figured that was obvious.”
”Yeah, but what are you going to do about him? He's been more silent than you have this week. Do you think he has something on his mind? A plan?”
(I shrugged again and smiled...)
”Quite possibly. Not really worried though. No reason to be.”
”Oh? Why not?”
(I looked at Amy's and smiled gently. I already knew why I had no reason to worry about this match...)
Simple.
I'm not Joe Everyman.
+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+
You know, there was something I said to you Joe that ever since I said it, I really can't get it off of my mind.
It's the kind of self-realization that resonates with you. You don't really catch it until you hear yourself say it and you have to ask yourself “Why?”
Now, you're probably wondering what the hell I'm talking about and that's a good question. What part of my own promo work has struck a small nerve within myself?
Okay, I'll get to the point here.
I mentioned that when it came to Joe Everyman and everything that he has ever stood for in his tenure here in nCw, I couldn't decide if I respected him for his heart, pitied his delusions of grandeur when it came to what he was capable of, or wanted to just outright mock him for being the company whipping boy and continually lying to himself about it.
The more I think about this, and the more I dwell, the more I start to wonder exactly which of these happens to be true? Which of these do I find myself believing?
Answer?
All three.
First and foremost Joe, I do respect you, at least to a point. I don't like you, I don't care what happens to your career, and I know the feeling is mutual. You might not even respect me for any reason whatsoever, but I do respect you.
What do I respect exactly?
You keep coming back.
I know I asked you why the hell do you keep bothering, but I don't think it matters, or at least it shouldn't. Your reasons are your own and as long as you keep getting in that ring, and keep telling yourself that this one match will be different, who am I to hate you for that? What right do I have to openly disrespect someone for at least accomplishing the hardest part of this job, of which is stepping in between those ropes and putting it all on the line when the bell rings?
I guess the easy answer to that is that I do the same thing every week, but that I've been more successful, which gives me some measure to gloat. Even still though, I respect you for just showing up. You fight and if that's all there was to it, then I would stop here and wish you good luck...
...And rest assured since you will be trapped in there with me until I decide it's over, you will need all the luck that you can get...
But, as always, there is just a little more to it than just the notion of respect. Some of this has sprung up because of the things that you've said. The fact that you are going to beat me, and that there's nothing I can do about it. That you are going to take the title that I won and that's all there is to it. It's almost like you decreed it in your own fantasy world and that should just make it so...
...And for that Joe, I pity you. I really do.
I recognize that confidence, Joe. That bravado. That belief that nothing is going to hold you down and that each time you tell yourself that you're going to make me suffer in ways that I've never suffered before and that you are going to dethrone me in the most embarrassing of ways, I'm fairly certain that you genuinely believe that. You believe yourself to be capable of just that and that perhaps it will be that easy.
I would know...
I've said the same things too.
I've told some of the most vicious men in this company that they weren't going to one-up me because they had never fought someone like me before. They had no idea what they were going to be getting themselves into. They didn't know exactly how hard or how vicious I could be and that I would be willing to prove it. Of course, they didn't believe it either. They looked at me almost in the same way that I'm looking at you.
Hell... much like how you probably looked at me the first time you encountered me. That first encounter where I was just starting to come into my own.
Here is the key difference, Joe. The difference you and I. The main separation from where I stood and where you stand now.
I knew it was never THAT easy.
I knew from day one that every word that came out of my mouth was going to earn me a murderer's row of opponents and I gladly accepted that. I wanted it. I knew I was going to get pushed and forced to back up everything that came out of my mouth. I knew that if I didn't prove myself to be as good as advertised, make no mistake, I really would not have a leg to stand on.
Heh, there's that phrase again. Not having a leg to stand on...
By the way, Joe... how's your balance right now?
Anyway.
I knew what my words would get me and I wanted that. I wanted that more than you could possibly ever know. I also knew it would be a very hard path to take and I would struggle, but anything worthwhile in life is inevitably worth struggling for.
I knew that from day one.
That's why I won the tag titles against Angel and Alex Jones.
That's why I have this belt now.
Everyman, I would take this moment and I would rethink exactly what you said to me at the beginning of this month. If you feel that this is going to be a cakewalk and that I would just die because you said it to be so, you're going to fall and you are going to fall HARD. I will make you look silly and I will add another triple digit loss to your record. Another loss that you're going to have to answer for...
Or, you know what?
Maybe you won't.
Maybe you won't acknowledge that loss. You'll pretend it's not there and instead you'll just focus on all the wonderful things that you've done in your career. Your three National Championship Reigns and your X-Division Reign and how you deserve so much more in this company...
But yet, you'll lose. You'll drop the ball. You'll fail and you will fail in a way that even leaves the Cubs speechless. And then you will try to use those defeats to gain sympathy from everyone else without actually learning anything from it.
And this is why they mock you instead.
This is why I mock you.
I'm not just my victories. My losses make up as much of me as my wins and I have to answer for those losses, rest assured. I can't hide from them. I can't pretend they didn't happen...
And believe me, some days... some days I want to forget who I've lost to. I'd love to forget that I'm 1-1 in single's matches with Jason Evans. Same with Todd Williams. I'd love to forget that I'm 0-2 against Jimmy Zane and he's using that as a sound enough reason to criticize me and push for his behind the scenes bestie, Potter, to get a rematch.
I'd probably do anything under the sun to get that limey prick Paul Star back in this company for one more match. One more opportunity to slam my foot into his face over and over again until he's out cold. I would KILL for that chance.
But those losses can't be helped. They happened. I accept it. If anything, it's made me stronger. It's made me better. It's shown me what I need to improve. It's shown me the level I need to rise to.
A level you refuse to even try to achieve.
Maybe that's actually the big difference between us, Joe. We both have heart for days. We're both willing to stand up and fight with everything we have. No one will certainly take those things from you...
But when it comes to learning from those experiences that we encounter on that proverbial Path of Honor...
It seems that I was the only one to pay attention. I took the road less traveled and I found myself better for it.
But you? You're gonna keep walking the same path your own. The path that diverts me from you. You're going to keep walking it because that's what you do and you're going to find the same thing that you always do once your path reaches it's conclusion.
A Dead End.