Post by Ayla St. James on Nov 26, 2011 11:25:48 GMT -6
Ayla was in bed, belly down, her arms folded underneath her pillow. The sheet had fallen, exposing half of her nude back, but she didn't care. Who gave a damn if anyone saw? The camera? Wasn't like it hadn't been shown before. No, the haphazardness of the sheet was just an echo of the torment that nagged at her so hard she cared about little else.
Sigh...
He came in, in the process of taking his shirt off, which was then flung across the room into the bin of dirty laundry. He watched her for a minute, his eyes saddened by the last few days. His expression denoted that not much had changed in their relationship. Even after the pep talk from Rayne.
Ay...?
No response. He sighed and sat down on the bed next to her. He reached down, touching the upper part of her back.
Ayla.. please talk to me.. ?
Nothing but her exhale. He withdrew his hand like it was stung. He sighed, reaching into the bedside table and pulling out a book. He opened it.
So.. you're just going to keep not talking to me...?
He watched her for several moments. The silence hanging in the air like a dark cloud. He tried going back to his book, but his eyes kept getting drawn back to her. Finally, he just snapped the book closed.
Look.. Ay.. I really wished I knew what I did. Because I've been wracking my brain for the last week trying to figure how why I can't get more than two words out of you. Why I hear something, but when I look up, all I see is your shadow darting out of my sight.. Why everytime I look at you, you're in the process of looking away from me... I just.. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what you want.. from me.. or anything.
This drew nothing from her but a tired sigh. His head dropped, and he shook it sadly, placing his book back into the nightstand. He slid to lay down, and then turned off the bedside lamp to plunge the whole room into darkness. Several terse moments passed, then her voice floated through the air.
Truth is.. I don't know.
Don't know what?
I don't know what I want..
What do you mean..?
How much longer will you keep wrestling?
Until I can't.
And if there was a baby...?
Ay.. is there?
No.. but.. if there was.. ?
Pause. Sigh.
I couldn't tell you what I'd do. But I know I won't ask you to put your dreams on hold for this, Ay. But this isn't my decision alone. Can I promise you it will be an easy road if you want to go down it? No. Unfortunately, this is our living, all this time away from home. But what I will promise you is that I'm by your side no matter what.
...Can we really have the whole fantasy?
If you want it... I'll make it happen. No matter what...
Another terse pause.
So we can have a baby.. if I want..?
If you want, yes.
What do you want?
Right now.. all I want, is the rest of my life with you.. if the it falls into place.. then it falls into place..
Another pause. Falcon leaned over and kissed the side of her face. He whispered in her ear.
Love you, Ay... the rest is happen when it does..
He laid down and closed his eyes. Moments passed, and then she turn, snuggling herself against him.
Works for me...
In a business where your job is beating up other people before they beat you up, there comes a certain give and take. Respect.. admiration.. and all that. Clearly, this business is about sacrifice. We put everything on the line week in and week out, all of us, so the take part of that is that we all just accept that everyone has to sacrifice. And for that, it's a no brainer to respect everyone on some level for the willingness to give up what they don't have to. People get hurt, and when they come back everyone wonders if they'll be the same force they were before. Women, Zelda, Tara.. are prime examples, take time off to bear children, and when they step back into the ring, people will question if they still have it in them. Everywhere we look, there will always be hate and doubt, fear and loathing.. but even in the deepest reaches of everyones soul..
There is still respect.
I can't say I know what it's like to be like Steffy. She has a young child at home, and I'd imagine it breaks her heart to walk away from that sweet face to stare at someone who's sole goal is beating her down and making her tap or render her unconcious for three seconds. I know in my heart inside her somewhere is a wish that she could just be with her family forever. But sadly, reality is a little harsher than that, isn't it?
This is the same conundrum she must've faced then.. do you set your career back almost a year to bring life into the world..? Do you deal with all the hate, fear and doubt to experience the joys of motherhood? Or do you push it all back until your dreams are realized..?
Or do you try to do both and work yourself until you snap?
I respect the sacrifice that Steffy shows by doing all that. But even with all that being said, I won't let her use that as an excuse. If you're going to tell me that you can be both a wrestler and a mother, that you can put your full effort into doing both..
Then you damn well better show me you can.
Because if you can't, if you just prance around with that oh well whatever attitude, and just skate by to collect a paycheck, then you can shove your dreams up your tailpipe and find the closest door to take you out of here. Because if all this is to you is a check that keeps food on the table and clothes on your back, you can just go work at Wal-Mart instead. I will not sit here and put my essence into being the best wrestler I can be, just so you can try to glide through because you have to pull double duty.
Sounds harsh, I know. But this is why I'm sitting here suffering with indecision, and most other women spread their legs for nine months time off. So, Steffy... here's your chance.. prove to me that you can be both mother and wrestler. Don't dwell on the last time you beat me, don't pretend like last year means your still god's gift to wrestling. You've already fallen..
Time to get back up, or stay down and stay home. Because I'm tired of waiting. I know thats a bit contradictory, but you chose to get back in the ring.. all I'm asking you to do is be what you said you can be.
Amy.. I think you're a little skewed there darlin...
We're undefeated because every single tag team put into the ring with the two of us has fallen, flat on their nose jobbed and often plastic faces. We asked anybody to step up, any two women to come out and join hands to show us our place. So far, two teams actually have.. everyone else ran into us once, and then decided greener pastures were elsewhere. I mean, look around..
Katgas found out first hand that even though their egos labeled us pushovers, we're solid as a rock.. and their egos broke them apart.
Shelley thought she could beat us both so she grabbed Mandi, and when she realized we're tougher than she thought possible, ditched her the second she got the chance.
Any of these other Starlet teams have an open invitation to come out and say.. Hey, we'd like the chance to defeat you..
But you know what? They don't.
Unstoppable didn't so much as come within five feet of us, and only even spoke our names when they were inside a closed room with a camera. So you see, as much as you sit there and act like we're not as impressive as we have been because we haven't beaten every single team that nCw throws a bio up on their website. But ponder this my gothic little princess..
Bitches with Attitude has never been defeated as a team, neither has Unstoppable, match made in heaven right?
Until you count the fact that Unstoppable has never lost either.. because they've never had matches together..
They're an idea, honey. Nothing more.
If you were the tag champs, would you want two random wrestlers teaming up to get a shot at you?
Didn't think so.
As for this division that was so much better without us, look back at who was there then.. and who's here now.
Aside from you, I can't even think of anybody.
Though I'd rather be a has been than a never was. Even David Arquette is a World Champion honey.
But.. whatever.. you'll ignore everything I say. You'll put your own nonsensical spin on things, and when you lose this match, you'll whine about how Stephanie dropped the ball and how you just want people to respect you. Here's a hint, gotta respect yourself first there.
So come at us.. with the same lackluster fire and disheartened promises you made last month. The same tired diatribes and pitiful lines about how we're such bitches and we really suck at wrestling and are just coasting through life. Remember, it's your job to beat us...
If we suck, and you can't do that, what does that say about you?
I thought so.
Sweet, sweet, awww you just got your ass whooped kisses..
Love, Ayla.
Sigh...
He came in, in the process of taking his shirt off, which was then flung across the room into the bin of dirty laundry. He watched her for a minute, his eyes saddened by the last few days. His expression denoted that not much had changed in their relationship. Even after the pep talk from Rayne.
Ay...?
No response. He sighed and sat down on the bed next to her. He reached down, touching the upper part of her back.
Ayla.. please talk to me.. ?
Nothing but her exhale. He withdrew his hand like it was stung. He sighed, reaching into the bedside table and pulling out a book. He opened it.
So.. you're just going to keep not talking to me...?
He watched her for several moments. The silence hanging in the air like a dark cloud. He tried going back to his book, but his eyes kept getting drawn back to her. Finally, he just snapped the book closed.
Look.. Ay.. I really wished I knew what I did. Because I've been wracking my brain for the last week trying to figure how why I can't get more than two words out of you. Why I hear something, but when I look up, all I see is your shadow darting out of my sight.. Why everytime I look at you, you're in the process of looking away from me... I just.. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what you want.. from me.. or anything.
This drew nothing from her but a tired sigh. His head dropped, and he shook it sadly, placing his book back into the nightstand. He slid to lay down, and then turned off the bedside lamp to plunge the whole room into darkness. Several terse moments passed, then her voice floated through the air.
Truth is.. I don't know.
Don't know what?
I don't know what I want..
What do you mean..?
How much longer will you keep wrestling?
Until I can't.
And if there was a baby...?
Ay.. is there?
No.. but.. if there was.. ?
Pause. Sigh.
I couldn't tell you what I'd do. But I know I won't ask you to put your dreams on hold for this, Ay. But this isn't my decision alone. Can I promise you it will be an easy road if you want to go down it? No. Unfortunately, this is our living, all this time away from home. But what I will promise you is that I'm by your side no matter what.
...Can we really have the whole fantasy?
If you want it... I'll make it happen. No matter what...
Another terse pause.
So we can have a baby.. if I want..?
If you want, yes.
What do you want?
Right now.. all I want, is the rest of my life with you.. if the it falls into place.. then it falls into place..
Another pause. Falcon leaned over and kissed the side of her face. He whispered in her ear.
Love you, Ay... the rest is happen when it does..
He laid down and closed his eyes. Moments passed, and then she turn, snuggling herself against him.
Works for me...
Transition
[/center]In a business where your job is beating up other people before they beat you up, there comes a certain give and take. Respect.. admiration.. and all that. Clearly, this business is about sacrifice. We put everything on the line week in and week out, all of us, so the take part of that is that we all just accept that everyone has to sacrifice. And for that, it's a no brainer to respect everyone on some level for the willingness to give up what they don't have to. People get hurt, and when they come back everyone wonders if they'll be the same force they were before. Women, Zelda, Tara.. are prime examples, take time off to bear children, and when they step back into the ring, people will question if they still have it in them. Everywhere we look, there will always be hate and doubt, fear and loathing.. but even in the deepest reaches of everyones soul..
There is still respect.
I can't say I know what it's like to be like Steffy. She has a young child at home, and I'd imagine it breaks her heart to walk away from that sweet face to stare at someone who's sole goal is beating her down and making her tap or render her unconcious for three seconds. I know in my heart inside her somewhere is a wish that she could just be with her family forever. But sadly, reality is a little harsher than that, isn't it?
This is the same conundrum she must've faced then.. do you set your career back almost a year to bring life into the world..? Do you deal with all the hate, fear and doubt to experience the joys of motherhood? Or do you push it all back until your dreams are realized..?
Or do you try to do both and work yourself until you snap?
I respect the sacrifice that Steffy shows by doing all that. But even with all that being said, I won't let her use that as an excuse. If you're going to tell me that you can be both a wrestler and a mother, that you can put your full effort into doing both..
Then you damn well better show me you can.
Because if you can't, if you just prance around with that oh well whatever attitude, and just skate by to collect a paycheck, then you can shove your dreams up your tailpipe and find the closest door to take you out of here. Because if all this is to you is a check that keeps food on the table and clothes on your back, you can just go work at Wal-Mart instead. I will not sit here and put my essence into being the best wrestler I can be, just so you can try to glide through because you have to pull double duty.
Sounds harsh, I know. But this is why I'm sitting here suffering with indecision, and most other women spread their legs for nine months time off. So, Steffy... here's your chance.. prove to me that you can be both mother and wrestler. Don't dwell on the last time you beat me, don't pretend like last year means your still god's gift to wrestling. You've already fallen..
Time to get back up, or stay down and stay home. Because I'm tired of waiting. I know thats a bit contradictory, but you chose to get back in the ring.. all I'm asking you to do is be what you said you can be.
Amy.. I think you're a little skewed there darlin...
We're undefeated because every single tag team put into the ring with the two of us has fallen, flat on their nose jobbed and often plastic faces. We asked anybody to step up, any two women to come out and join hands to show us our place. So far, two teams actually have.. everyone else ran into us once, and then decided greener pastures were elsewhere. I mean, look around..
Katgas found out first hand that even though their egos labeled us pushovers, we're solid as a rock.. and their egos broke them apart.
Shelley thought she could beat us both so she grabbed Mandi, and when she realized we're tougher than she thought possible, ditched her the second she got the chance.
Any of these other Starlet teams have an open invitation to come out and say.. Hey, we'd like the chance to defeat you..
But you know what? They don't.
Unstoppable didn't so much as come within five feet of us, and only even spoke our names when they were inside a closed room with a camera. So you see, as much as you sit there and act like we're not as impressive as we have been because we haven't beaten every single team that nCw throws a bio up on their website. But ponder this my gothic little princess..
Bitches with Attitude has never been defeated as a team, neither has Unstoppable, match made in heaven right?
Until you count the fact that Unstoppable has never lost either.. because they've never had matches together..
They're an idea, honey. Nothing more.
If you were the tag champs, would you want two random wrestlers teaming up to get a shot at you?
Didn't think so.
As for this division that was so much better without us, look back at who was there then.. and who's here now.
Aside from you, I can't even think of anybody.
Though I'd rather be a has been than a never was. Even David Arquette is a World Champion honey.
But.. whatever.. you'll ignore everything I say. You'll put your own nonsensical spin on things, and when you lose this match, you'll whine about how Stephanie dropped the ball and how you just want people to respect you. Here's a hint, gotta respect yourself first there.
So come at us.. with the same lackluster fire and disheartened promises you made last month. The same tired diatribes and pitiful lines about how we're such bitches and we really suck at wrestling and are just coasting through life. Remember, it's your job to beat us...
If we suck, and you can't do that, what does that say about you?
I thought so.
Sweet, sweet, awww you just got your ass whooped kisses..
Love, Ayla.
