Post by Kathleen Conway on Nov 26, 2011 16:33:01 GMT -6
The scene opens on Kathy Conway, up early this chilly late November morning as she leans over the wash basin, clutching it with both hands as she braced herself and vomitted into the sink. She felt the stinging afterburn of the vomit in the back of her throat and turned the tap, watching the yellow lumpy fluid wash down the drain, swirled on by the steady cascade of water.
I looked terrible this morning, but I felt better. I felt alive, and ready to conquer the world. A 5am morning run as part of my rigourous training routine had certainly woken me up. Maybe it was the lingering adrenalin still pumping through me even now as I had jogged into the hotel and up a couple of flights of stairs back to my room, or just the lingering memory of the crisp morning chill slapping and biting my face, but I hadn't felt inspired enough to push myself this hard for a match in years.
That's what Kelly Knite does, she inspires me, she pushes me to my very limits and she brings out the very best of me inside that very ring, and in the end that's what the fans expect from me - more than that, that's what she expects from me. Kelly wants me at my very best, and I want to be at my very best. I don't want to disappoint anybody - neither Kelly, Jake or even myself.
Kelly might think I'm doing this for all the typical reasons anybody else steps in between those ropes, she might think I'm doing this simply to be considered the best in everybody else's eyes and not just in the eyes of my husband and my kids, but actually I have far more practical concerns here. I'm doing this for my kids. My family has grown and my daughters are growing up so fast, if I keep doing this for many more years I fear that I'll miss it all.
It is precisely this reason that scared my husband, its why he came back to a more flexible contract with nCw. If I win the Starlets World Championship this Sunday, I will be the new face of an entire division, more than that, I will be the new face of womanhood, representing females in a male dominated industry...
The thought of that, the pressure she was piling upon herself for this match, turned Kathy's stomach and yet more vomit burned its way from one hole into another. Kathy looked at herself in the mirror, her eyes wide and her mind racing.
Is it really all worth it? Kelly's road began with me, surely it would be the height of an ego that I don't really possess to even suggest that it will end with me this Sunday. If my best has never been good enough to beat her on a Collision or a Trauma, what makes me think I have what it takes to keep up with her in the ring on an even grander stage? Can I really compete with the Adam Knite training regimen? I'm not Zelda, I'm not Kelly, nor do I necessarily want to be. I just want to be the best mother I can be, I want to provide for my kids, and becoming World Champion would certainly provide a nice little cash bonus that we just don't get at the moment with both of us being on a reduced contract.
People think it was simply a matter of ego that made me turn on my sister and put Vargas on the shelf, but those people obviously don't see the bigger picture, and even if they do, they certainly don't have kids. Those people don't understand, how could they?
Kathy looks at herself hard in the mirror, almost as if searching her own reflection for something more, something greater than what it showed right now. She squinted.
As similiar as Kelly and I are, there's a world of difference between us. Maybe she is willing to see her daughter only occassionally as the World Champion. Me? I'm not sure I can make that leap. I'm not sure I can leave my babies in the care of some nanny whilst I'm off going around the country representing the company as its World Champion. I suppose only time will tell if this is all truly worth it...
At that moment, Kathy catches a glimpse of a young girl's reflection in the mirror, she turns around with a smile on her face as she beams at her eldest daughter, stood in the doorway with a look of concern on her face.
Solitaire: Are you okay, Mommy?
Kathy: Yes, I'm fine sweetie. I'm just a bit nervous about my big match...
Solitaire: Why are you nervous Mommy? You are the bestest in the whole world...
Kathy: Awwww....thanks sweetie...now come here and give your mommy a big hug.
Solitaire runs and almost leaps as Kathy bends down to scoop her up into an embrace.
And all of a sudden it didn't all seem quite so daunting. Hugging my daughter seemed to melt my all my doubts and fears, replacing each with love - pure love. Suddenly I wasn't so worried about who was training Kelly. I wasn't even worried about how good Adam was, Jake was quite good at putting me through my paces too, though part of me has always suspected that he may never push me quite as hard as he might have if I was anybody else - even if I asked him to. How could you do that to somebody you loved?
Jake: Hey babe, you okay? Ready for our sparring session?
Both Kathy and her daughter turned to smile at the most important man in both their lives.
Solitaire: Daddy!
Solitaire broke the hug with her mother and practically jumped into her father's arms as he stepped forward and caught her, kissing her on the cheek.
Jake: Hey princess, tell you what, why don't you go back to bed while me and Mommy have a little talk and later Uncle Perry is coming to look after you whilst I get Mommy ready for her big match...
Solitaire runs off into the room, as The Ace steps forward to embrace his wife.
Kathy: Erm, sweetie...I wouldn't do that just now...need to sssort myself out, you know ssstress always makes me feel ill...
Jake then decides to kiss her on the cheek. Stress, was obviously flirting with her more animalistic side, making her hiss certain words and reminding them both of the beast within her.
Jake: Are you sure you're okay? We don't have to spar if you're really not up for it today...
Kathy: I'll be fine....just don't hold back. I want to be pushed. I'm just scaring myself with my own self-doubts, and not being trained as vigourously as Adam has trained Kelly....
The Ace raises an eyebrow at his wife, confused.
Jake: Are you saying you want me to go all out for this match? You look like you're stressed enough, I'm not sure I want to make it any worse...
Kathy: Why? Is it because you don't love me as much as Adam loves Kelly?
Jake: No...it's precisely because I love you even more. Sure Adam's regime might make everybody he seemingly trains into World Champions, but I don't think even he realises at what personal cost to himself. The man is a beast, obsessed with his training, and now it looks like it might even cost him his marriage. I'm not sure I can ever be that person, there are some prices even I won't pay...
Kathy: But honey, what if that's exactly what it will take for me to finally beat Kelly?
Jake: Is it really that important to you?
Kathy: No, but it would be nice to at least feel validated on some level, and since I came back to nCw specifically to compete with the best women in the world, I can think of no better validation than to beat one of the best on the roster for the biggest prize of them all. I know you can understand that, I know you want another crack at the top. All I'm asking for is that same opportunity...
Jake sighs and his reluctance is obvious.
Jake: Okay, I'll do it...for you...
I looked terrible this morning, but I felt better. I felt alive, and ready to conquer the world. A 5am morning run as part of my rigourous training routine had certainly woken me up. Maybe it was the lingering adrenalin still pumping through me even now as I had jogged into the hotel and up a couple of flights of stairs back to my room, or just the lingering memory of the crisp morning chill slapping and biting my face, but I hadn't felt inspired enough to push myself this hard for a match in years.
That's what Kelly Knite does, she inspires me, she pushes me to my very limits and she brings out the very best of me inside that very ring, and in the end that's what the fans expect from me - more than that, that's what she expects from me. Kelly wants me at my very best, and I want to be at my very best. I don't want to disappoint anybody - neither Kelly, Jake or even myself.
Kelly might think I'm doing this for all the typical reasons anybody else steps in between those ropes, she might think I'm doing this simply to be considered the best in everybody else's eyes and not just in the eyes of my husband and my kids, but actually I have far more practical concerns here. I'm doing this for my kids. My family has grown and my daughters are growing up so fast, if I keep doing this for many more years I fear that I'll miss it all.
It is precisely this reason that scared my husband, its why he came back to a more flexible contract with nCw. If I win the Starlets World Championship this Sunday, I will be the new face of an entire division, more than that, I will be the new face of womanhood, representing females in a male dominated industry...
The thought of that, the pressure she was piling upon herself for this match, turned Kathy's stomach and yet more vomit burned its way from one hole into another. Kathy looked at herself in the mirror, her eyes wide and her mind racing.
Is it really all worth it? Kelly's road began with me, surely it would be the height of an ego that I don't really possess to even suggest that it will end with me this Sunday. If my best has never been good enough to beat her on a Collision or a Trauma, what makes me think I have what it takes to keep up with her in the ring on an even grander stage? Can I really compete with the Adam Knite training regimen? I'm not Zelda, I'm not Kelly, nor do I necessarily want to be. I just want to be the best mother I can be, I want to provide for my kids, and becoming World Champion would certainly provide a nice little cash bonus that we just don't get at the moment with both of us being on a reduced contract.
People think it was simply a matter of ego that made me turn on my sister and put Vargas on the shelf, but those people obviously don't see the bigger picture, and even if they do, they certainly don't have kids. Those people don't understand, how could they?
Kathy looks at herself hard in the mirror, almost as if searching her own reflection for something more, something greater than what it showed right now. She squinted.
As similiar as Kelly and I are, there's a world of difference between us. Maybe she is willing to see her daughter only occassionally as the World Champion. Me? I'm not sure I can make that leap. I'm not sure I can leave my babies in the care of some nanny whilst I'm off going around the country representing the company as its World Champion. I suppose only time will tell if this is all truly worth it...
At that moment, Kathy catches a glimpse of a young girl's reflection in the mirror, she turns around with a smile on her face as she beams at her eldest daughter, stood in the doorway with a look of concern on her face.
Solitaire: Are you okay, Mommy?
Kathy: Yes, I'm fine sweetie. I'm just a bit nervous about my big match...
Solitaire: Why are you nervous Mommy? You are the bestest in the whole world...
Kathy: Awwww....thanks sweetie...now come here and give your mommy a big hug.
Solitaire runs and almost leaps as Kathy bends down to scoop her up into an embrace.
And all of a sudden it didn't all seem quite so daunting. Hugging my daughter seemed to melt my all my doubts and fears, replacing each with love - pure love. Suddenly I wasn't so worried about who was training Kelly. I wasn't even worried about how good Adam was, Jake was quite good at putting me through my paces too, though part of me has always suspected that he may never push me quite as hard as he might have if I was anybody else - even if I asked him to. How could you do that to somebody you loved?
Jake: Hey babe, you okay? Ready for our sparring session?
Both Kathy and her daughter turned to smile at the most important man in both their lives.
Solitaire: Daddy!
Solitaire broke the hug with her mother and practically jumped into her father's arms as he stepped forward and caught her, kissing her on the cheek.
Jake: Hey princess, tell you what, why don't you go back to bed while me and Mommy have a little talk and later Uncle Perry is coming to look after you whilst I get Mommy ready for her big match...
Solitaire runs off into the room, as The Ace steps forward to embrace his wife.
Kathy: Erm, sweetie...I wouldn't do that just now...need to sssort myself out, you know ssstress always makes me feel ill...
Jake then decides to kiss her on the cheek. Stress, was obviously flirting with her more animalistic side, making her hiss certain words and reminding them both of the beast within her.
Jake: Are you sure you're okay? We don't have to spar if you're really not up for it today...
Kathy: I'll be fine....just don't hold back. I want to be pushed. I'm just scaring myself with my own self-doubts, and not being trained as vigourously as Adam has trained Kelly....
The Ace raises an eyebrow at his wife, confused.
Jake: Are you saying you want me to go all out for this match? You look like you're stressed enough, I'm not sure I want to make it any worse...
Kathy: Why? Is it because you don't love me as much as Adam loves Kelly?
Jake: No...it's precisely because I love you even more. Sure Adam's regime might make everybody he seemingly trains into World Champions, but I don't think even he realises at what personal cost to himself. The man is a beast, obsessed with his training, and now it looks like it might even cost him his marriage. I'm not sure I can ever be that person, there are some prices even I won't pay...
Kathy: But honey, what if that's exactly what it will take for me to finally beat Kelly?
Jake: Is it really that important to you?
Kathy: No, but it would be nice to at least feel validated on some level, and since I came back to nCw specifically to compete with the best women in the world, I can think of no better validation than to beat one of the best on the roster for the biggest prize of them all. I know you can understand that, I know you want another crack at the top. All I'm asking for is that same opportunity...
Jake sighs and his reluctance is obvious.
Jake: Okay, I'll do it...for you...
