Post by Adam Knite on Feb 4, 2012 12:08:50 GMT -6
Sometimes we lose control...
Sometimes everything that has been happening, all the normal ups and downs of life just become too much to bare on our shoulders and we succumb to the weight that is being pressed on us. There is really no excuse, every man should be in complete control of his actions at all moments, but it’s a moment of weakness, a moment where your head just isn’t thinking right. I’ve been up and down and I’ve come close to losing control so many times...
I was called the Man-Beast, I was compared to a real Raptor with my savage bursts of animal rage and it was one reason that I shed that idiotic moniker so long ago. I felt like I was actually becoming that persona, that I could actually become something that I hated. I saw how my actions had begun to hurt those that I loved, I saw how they cried over me and I had to shed that moronic label and not lose sight of who I was.
It feels like that was forever ago...
Yet here I am losing my mind...
Why did she have to start telling me to stay away from her and our daughter... changing the name on her office door to Kelly “Fox”, accusing me of cheating, accusing me of not caring about her... it’s that anger, that fear of losing her inside of me, it’s all these emotions swelling up... I’ve tried to so hard to reassure her of how I feel and she just won’t listen to me...
and she wants to call me a heartless monster...
-CRASH!!!-
but no matter what...
I never want to hurt her, ever again.
[The sound was like a gun being fired and the impact was almost as damaging, human flesh being ripped apart, bones cracking and blood trickling to the floor... Kelly peaks between the fingers at her husband who has just put his hand through the drywall, smashing the harder material behind.]
Adam: UGH!
[Adam rips his hand out from the fresh hole adorning his and Kelly’s wall and shakes it in pain as small drops of blood fly out to the floor. He covers it tightly but still screams out in anger.]
Adam: Goddammit Kelly! I ****!
Kelly: Adam...
Adam: Kelly I never doubted you when you were hanging around Steve, when you were ****ing living with him I never once thought that you were cheating on me and I never gave up on you no matter how much the evidence pointed otherwise! Why can’t you just do the same for me!? ****!
[Kelly turns around, hiding her face again as the tears begin to flow from her eyes. Is it from the traumatizing thought that she almost got struck, is it from what Adam is saying now? Whatever it is, she has her back turned and refuses to face him as she desperately tries to control herself.]
Kelly: I’m sorry Adam -sniff- I just can’t...I don’t know...
Adam: When you do know... send me a text or whatever... I’m out of here.
[Adam grabs the door, still nursing his hand as he walks away and Kelly doesn’t even turn around to stop him. Instead she pulls her arms to her chest and wraps them around her as she begins to grit her teeth as she fights back all the emotions rushing through her.]
Oh, Alex Jones spoke... how nice.No, I’m not going to watch it.I don’t need to.
I doesn’t matter what rebuttal you could come up with, it doesn’t matter what witty retorts you managed to work in, because there is simply only one thing that remains true for you and that’s that no matter what excuses you can make I still expected so much more from you by now Alex. I expected you to be on the top of the NCW World and instead you’re still hanging around with the Andrew Jacobsen’s and the Ricky Johnson’s of this company.
You know what, I don’t even know if you’re ready for that step anymore Alex. I don’t know if you can handle that kind of pressure, the pressure of having to come out each and every week with your A game because you have to represent a company as the figure head of it’s existence. I’m not so sure that you’re ready for that burden, I used to think you were, I used to think that you were exactly what this company is needed, but the more I see you hanging around in the undercard without making your presence felt on the company as a whole, the more I think you just enjoy being the big fish inside the little pond, the more I think on it, the more it just seems you’re comfortable where you’re at.
Which is fine, not everybody is cut out to jump into the deep end Jones, the only time that comes into question is when you keep seemingly wanting to make that jump, leap in with your eyes closed, but you for some reason keep pulling yourself back just as soon as you’re about to make your dive. Come on Alex... let go. Close your eyes, dive into the water and join the rest of us as NCW legends.
You see Alex, I don’t care what you had to say, i don’t care what you blabbered on about, it’s meaningless, just like it always is. Before you start, no, this isn’t me saying I can’t care about the match, or I don’t care about you, but a simple observation that anything you say from this point on isn’t worth the tape it’s recorded on. You know what you have to do, you know what you can do, you know that you have this potential inside of you that you just refuse to tap into and I want you to finally bring that out....
I don’t want you to be AJ Phoenix, I don’t want you to be Alex Jones, I want you to be more than that, I want you to be the past, present, and future of this business. That’s what I want to see... I want you to be Adam Knite, I want you to be a King, sitting on his throne looking down at the other little ants scurrying around and say the same things that I’m saying about you right now.
You need to be a leader... you were so close when you almost single handed destroyed the Young Guns, you were right there when you crushed Andrew Jacobsen’s will to continue as the leader of the group, you were right there as you took everything that he cared about and ripped it from his hands just because you wanted to, just because you thought it would be better for NCW.
That’s what I want.
I want that passion, that fire, that unrelenting desire to achieve your goals.
Give me that Alex, give me everything you got, if you think that I’m going to send NCW into a downward spiral of no return then stand up and fight for it, Stand up and give me every ounce of energy you have! Don’t hold back, don’t pull your punches, dedicate your every breath to dethroning the Hierarchy of NCW!
You give me that Alex and I promise...
Win or lose...
This will be your Knite to Remember.
Sometimes everything that has been happening, all the normal ups and downs of life just become too much to bare on our shoulders and we succumb to the weight that is being pressed on us. There is really no excuse, every man should be in complete control of his actions at all moments, but it’s a moment of weakness, a moment where your head just isn’t thinking right. I’ve been up and down and I’ve come close to losing control so many times...
I was called the Man-Beast, I was compared to a real Raptor with my savage bursts of animal rage and it was one reason that I shed that idiotic moniker so long ago. I felt like I was actually becoming that persona, that I could actually become something that I hated. I saw how my actions had begun to hurt those that I loved, I saw how they cried over me and I had to shed that moronic label and not lose sight of who I was.
It feels like that was forever ago...
Yet here I am losing my mind...
Why did she have to start telling me to stay away from her and our daughter... changing the name on her office door to Kelly “Fox”, accusing me of cheating, accusing me of not caring about her... it’s that anger, that fear of losing her inside of me, it’s all these emotions swelling up... I’ve tried to so hard to reassure her of how I feel and she just won’t listen to me...
and she wants to call me a heartless monster...
-CRASH!!!-
but no matter what...
I never want to hurt her, ever again.
[The sound was like a gun being fired and the impact was almost as damaging, human flesh being ripped apart, bones cracking and blood trickling to the floor... Kelly peaks between the fingers at her husband who has just put his hand through the drywall, smashing the harder material behind.]
Adam: UGH!
[Adam rips his hand out from the fresh hole adorning his and Kelly’s wall and shakes it in pain as small drops of blood fly out to the floor. He covers it tightly but still screams out in anger.]
Adam: Goddammit Kelly! I ****!
Kelly: Adam...
Adam: Kelly I never doubted you when you were hanging around Steve, when you were ****ing living with him I never once thought that you were cheating on me and I never gave up on you no matter how much the evidence pointed otherwise! Why can’t you just do the same for me!? ****!
[Kelly turns around, hiding her face again as the tears begin to flow from her eyes. Is it from the traumatizing thought that she almost got struck, is it from what Adam is saying now? Whatever it is, she has her back turned and refuses to face him as she desperately tries to control herself.]
Kelly: I’m sorry Adam -sniff- I just can’t...I don’t know...
Adam: When you do know... send me a text or whatever... I’m out of here.
[Adam grabs the door, still nursing his hand as he walks away and Kelly doesn’t even turn around to stop him. Instead she pulls her arms to her chest and wraps them around her as she begins to grit her teeth as she fights back all the emotions rushing through her.]
Oh, Alex Jones spoke... how nice.No, I’m not going to watch it.I don’t need to.
I doesn’t matter what rebuttal you could come up with, it doesn’t matter what witty retorts you managed to work in, because there is simply only one thing that remains true for you and that’s that no matter what excuses you can make I still expected so much more from you by now Alex. I expected you to be on the top of the NCW World and instead you’re still hanging around with the Andrew Jacobsen’s and the Ricky Johnson’s of this company.
You know what, I don’t even know if you’re ready for that step anymore Alex. I don’t know if you can handle that kind of pressure, the pressure of having to come out each and every week with your A game because you have to represent a company as the figure head of it’s existence. I’m not so sure that you’re ready for that burden, I used to think you were, I used to think that you were exactly what this company is needed, but the more I see you hanging around in the undercard without making your presence felt on the company as a whole, the more I think you just enjoy being the big fish inside the little pond, the more I think on it, the more it just seems you’re comfortable where you’re at.
Which is fine, not everybody is cut out to jump into the deep end Jones, the only time that comes into question is when you keep seemingly wanting to make that jump, leap in with your eyes closed, but you for some reason keep pulling yourself back just as soon as you’re about to make your dive. Come on Alex... let go. Close your eyes, dive into the water and join the rest of us as NCW legends.
You see Alex, I don’t care what you had to say, i don’t care what you blabbered on about, it’s meaningless, just like it always is. Before you start, no, this isn’t me saying I can’t care about the match, or I don’t care about you, but a simple observation that anything you say from this point on isn’t worth the tape it’s recorded on. You know what you have to do, you know what you can do, you know that you have this potential inside of you that you just refuse to tap into and I want you to finally bring that out....
I don’t want you to be AJ Phoenix, I don’t want you to be Alex Jones, I want you to be more than that, I want you to be the past, present, and future of this business. That’s what I want to see... I want you to be Adam Knite, I want you to be a King, sitting on his throne looking down at the other little ants scurrying around and say the same things that I’m saying about you right now.
You need to be a leader... you were so close when you almost single handed destroyed the Young Guns, you were right there when you crushed Andrew Jacobsen’s will to continue as the leader of the group, you were right there as you took everything that he cared about and ripped it from his hands just because you wanted to, just because you thought it would be better for NCW.
That’s what I want.
I want that passion, that fire, that unrelenting desire to achieve your goals.
Give me that Alex, give me everything you got, if you think that I’m going to send NCW into a downward spiral of no return then stand up and fight for it, Stand up and give me every ounce of energy you have! Don’t hold back, don’t pull your punches, dedicate your every breath to dethroning the Hierarchy of NCW!
You give me that Alex and I promise...
Win or lose...
This will be your Knite to Remember.
