Post by Ashlie on Feb 29, 2012 21:40:09 GMT -6
I already had my entire life taken from me once, you think I'm just going to sit back and watch you try it too? Do you really think I'm going to roll over and watch you ride off into the twilight with my Trent? I will never stand back and watch as somebody takes everything from me again, I will stand up and fight for my happiness, I will stand up and I will not let you take the thing I love the most from my hands. I don't care what claims you have on him, I don't care that you have a child together or that you were married before, I don't care that you love him... you hear me? None of that means **** to me, all I care about is him, all I care about is having Trent here with me. You can fight this all you want, but with every breath I have in my lungs I will fight back harder.
I won't stand there and watch that again.
[The shakey ten year old camera footage plays on the screen, the camer waves back and forth as the person controlling tries their best to steady it to no real avail as they walk forward and open a door to a dressing room. We can see the familiar face of Adam Knite on the screen, he's much younger and we can see that he's backstage of some arena getting ready for some match. He turns and looks at the camera and smiles as he begins to lace his boots.]
“What are you doing Ashlie?”
“I'm catching the final glimpses of a wrestler before he wins the World title for the first time. This video is going to be huge after you hit it big, trust me... So tell me “Raptor”, how does it feel knowing that in about an hour you're going to be “World Heavyweight Champion.”
[Adam laughs as Ashlie zooms in on his face manually, aka: walking towards him, and puts his hand over the lens as he gently pushes her away.]
“Come on Ashlie, you're going to jinx me.”
“Don't be silly, there's no such thing, this is all yours.”
“You think so?”
“I know so! You've been training night and day for this, you've been going none stop since this match was announced, not a moments rest. Watching video, dissecting everything he can throw at you, there is no way you're going to walk out of here without that belt.”
“Well at least somebody is confident...”
[Adam lowers his head, his smile fades as he appears to stare at his boot... but his hands aren't moving to tie the laces anymore and he just stares past the shoe to the floor. Ashlie jumps slightly, we can tell by the movement of the camera, before she puts the camera down on a bench and rushes over to Adam's side, she softly puts her arm on his shoulder and leans in close to him.]
“Hey now! Don't start second guessing yourself, this is your time Adam. This is your night.”
“How can you be so sure... this guy has been world champion so many times, you don't think he's used to guys like me coming in there and thinking they are going to take his belt?”
“Because you want this too much to fail! After everything Boone and Punisher put you through, after being screwed out of all those chances to be World champion... this is finally YOUR shot. You won't let that slip through your fingers, I just know it. You're going to be the best Adam, even if you are stuck in those green tights.”
[Ashlie bites her bottom lip as she smiles and Adam shakes his head as he lets out a quick laugh. He turns to look at her and he smiles wide at her joke then nods his head now.]
“I believe in you Adam.”
[The couple share a kiss before Ashlie turns to walk away, maybe to grab the camera, maybe to get dressed herself, but we don't know, however she doesn't get fair before Adam grabs her by the arm and stops her.]
“Ashlie... don't leave me...”
“What's wrong?”
“I, I just don't want to be alone right now... look at me I'm shaking.”
[Ashlie watches as Adam lifts his right arm and sees his hand twitching, she thinks it's cute that his nerves are getting to him right now, but she also knows that she has to be there for him.]
“Of course Adam, anything.”
[Ashlie sits on the bench next to him and presses her body tightly against his. She lays her head on his shoulder as she wraps her arms around him and Adam smiles just having her there.]
“Thank you... I love you.”
“I love you.”
[The two begin to kiss softly int he room alone together.]
I will give everything I have to keep him Mercedes. You don't even understand the distance I'm willing to go to keep him at my side, you don't understand what he means to me. He isn't my Edward or my Jacob, he isn't some stupid popular pop culture reference for overweight teenage girls with overbites, he's my life Mercedes. He's everything. Without him, I'm nothing, without him I don't know if I can go on. He makes me happier than I've ever been, he makes me feel alive, he makes me feel like a person, he makes me feel like I can conquer the world if I put my mind to it. Nobody has given me that feeling in a long, long time. You had your chance and you wasted it, now move on and leave my happy ending alone.
I won't stand back and do nothing again.
[Ashlie watches the film on the little old video camera all alone in the dark of the living room. She sits on the couch viewing the video with a blank expression, she doesn't move, she barely breathes. She's watched this a thousand times, she's used it as motivation, but now it seems harder than ever to see. She doesn't notice at first when Trent walks into the room yawning from sleeping only half the night, but she quickly closes the camera to hide it from him. He stops and looks at the blank stare in her eyes and instantly knows something is up.]
“Ashlie? You Ok?”
“I'm fine... can't sleep.”
“What's wrong?”
“No...thing...”
[Ashlie turns away from his view, hiding her face the best she can as she stares at the floor, but Trent obviously isn't falling for that response as he notices something is up. He walks over to her and sits down next to her, putting his arm around her and pulling her close to him.]
“Is this about your match?”
“Sorta.. I just don't know if I can go through with this, I'm not strong enough to handle something like this, I'm not... I don't know if... I just... **sigh**.”
“Look, Ashley, I know your nervous and all, it's you going against Kelly and Mercedes that has to be tough for you on so many levels but I just want you to know one thing ok?”
“Yeah?”
“I believe in you. You're a strong woman, no matter what anybody says.”
“But what if I go out there and fall flat on my face and embarrass myself? What are people going to say if after all this time I go out there and just lose? I don't know if I can take that, I don't know if I want to even risk it right now...”
“Look, none of that matters. You're not going to embarrass yourself, you've been training too hard to get to where you're at right now for that, and if you lose, who cares? I won't, and as long as you go out there and give this everything you have like I know you will, and as long as you give those two the match of their lives, you will have proven yourself to everybody who doubted you.”
“Wow Trent... that's amazing.”
“Hey, sometimes I can have those highly intelligent flashes of insight too.”
“No, I meant you made it through that whole sentence without a single Dragon Ball reference.”
[Ashlie turns slowly to face Trent with a cute smile on her face as her head is still leaned towards the floor, only looking up at Trent through the tops of her eyes as if hiding her expression and it only causes him to laugh at her and shake his head.]
“That's what I get for coming in here trying to make you feel better? I see how it is... ”
[Trent pretends to be angry by trying to pull away from Ashlie, but she refuses to let him go and instead pulls herself even closer to him and wraps her arms around his neck and hugs him tightly.]
11 Years...
Count them, it's been eleven years Kelly. You know the day I'm talking about, the day you took my entire life away from me, the day you almost ruined me. I was happy, I was always smiling, I was fun and bright eyed and you stole that from me all in the blink of an eye, all on that plane ride back from Chicago on your dad's private jet. I was a kid, I thought I was always going to be that way, I thought my life was going to be perfect, I was going to get married and live happily ever after, but thanks to you, all of it was ripped away and you left me as nothing but a shell. A shell of who I used to be, hollow and empty, I felt the entire world was against me, I watched as your perfect life got even more perfect with the man I loved, I watched as you got richer with him by your side, and I watched as you and he succeeded in just about everything you imagined.
Do you know what that's like Kelly?
Of course you don't.
I was so sick of hearing about you and him, I was so tired of seeing you on my television screen. It was like torture, it was like a constant reminder that I wasn't good enough. I had been on that screen, I had been at his side, I was there when he won his first world title! I built Adam up during his tough times as Davey Boone constantly screwed him over, I was there for Adam and watched him cry after being heart broken after another missed opportunity at the NCW world title, I was there to pick him up when he was at his lowest! I encouraged him to keep going, I told him that his time would come and I never left his side, because I loved him, I loved him more than words could ever say and I would have stuck by him even if he lost every single match he had ever been in... but he didn't lose every match, no, I drove him to be his best and he eventually reached his goal and I was standing right there at ringside to witness it. I jumped into his arms, he lifted me up, he gave me the belt to hold into the air in celebration and it was one of the greatest feelings of my life...
Then you had to be there...
Then you had to take that from me...
WHY!?
You weren't there when he needed you the most, you weren't there as he was climbing the ladder, you came in when he was a success, you came in and stole him from me and nobody gave a ****. NOBODY! I had no friends, I dropped out of school to be in the business, I had no home, Leonard didn't care, he was dating you... it was like suddenly everything I knew was gone, my entire life was reduced to nothing.
Go ahead and laugh at me, talk about me holding this idiotic grudge for so long and just chuckled your ****ing head off about how you're so much better than me, maybe even throw out some of those witty comments of yours telling me that I wasn't good enough, do it! I don't care! I have a right to hold this grudge, I have a right to be hurt, I have a right to still hold onto that moment as the turning point of my life, because it was just that. It was the point where I had to make something of myself or die, I had to do something or I would never get this chance to be here today. I did things I'm not proud of to get ahead, I did what I had to do to survive when I was literally dumped off a plane at some transitional airport... all just to prove to the world... and you that I wasn't worthless, that I didn't deserve to be treated like yesterday's garbage, that I meant something!
You don't know what it's like to always see somebody else face every where you go, always feeling like you have to prove yourself to that person because she makes you feel like a worthless piece of **** every time you see her happy on National television. I watched as you became this huge star, I watched as Adam was inducted in hall of fame after Hall of Fame, and he never once mentioned my name, or mentioned who I was and how I was there for him in the beginning. You were his life, you were his driving force, you were everything to him and I was suddenly just a piece of dog **** he wiped off his boot.
You don't know what it's like to be forgotten.
I do.
You stepped into the scene and suddenly I was nothing to Adam, Joe Everyman after professing his undying love to me just threw me to the side the second his whore ass wife decided that she gave a **** again and I was nothing but sex and fun for Simon, it wasn't until I got with Trent did he ever care that I left.
You don't know that feeling, you have no idea what that is like!
You feel lower than dirt, you feel like just putting a gun to your head and ending it every second of every day. The money, the fame, the world famous athletes and Hollywood parties, none of it stops it form eating away at you, nothing stops it from just gnawing away at your brain reminding you that you're still not good enough. Knowing that out there, there was that one person who you hated more than anything in this world laughing at you, thinking that she was still better than you no matter what you did. It's worse than death, imagine the most horrible thing in the world and just imagine it happening to you every single day of your life because you're always reminded about it. My clients would ask me, people in the street would ask me, sports journalists, wrestling magazines... I was always the obscure story, the first manager of Adam Knite, I was the footnote to your and his glorious relationship...
and I vowed to never let that happen again...
I vowed to never be forgotten, ever again.
This match isn't about winning or losing to me Kelly, I want your world title, and I want to beat the hell out of Mercedes but this... this is about so much more to me. It's about being justified, it's about my entire life. I don't know where I would have ended up if you wouldn't have changed my entire life in the beat of an eye, I don't know where I would have ended up, but I do know that you changed me, you made me into something else, that I wasn't supposed to be. You did that to me, and yes I'm going to hold onto that grudge....
Until Sunday.
That's when this all ends for me, this is when I finally put you behind me, put my entire life up to this point and just leave it behind, because I get my chance, to finally show you that I am somebody and I didn't deserve to be treated like that. So no, I don't care about winning, I don't give a **** about coming out and pinning you, it's not what this match is about to me. I have my chance to be me again, I'm going to end this, finally on Crossroads. There will be no more wondering what if, there will be no seeing your face every time I come up short, there will be no second guessing myself or telling myself that I'm not good enough.
Win or lose,
everything will be behind me.
I will finally prove myself...
Win or lose,
I won't be just another face in the crowd.
Win or lose...
I'm still Ashlie...
And you'll never forget me.
[Trent stands to his feet and urges Ashlie to join him as he begins to walk away from the couch and back to the bedroom, but this is when he notices the small old camera laying next to her, he stops and points at it with a puzzled look on his face.]
“What's that?”
“It's just an old trinket I found in the back of one of my closets in some box.”
“Does it still work?”
“Nah, I think it needs a battery or something, I was just playing with it.”
[Trent shrugs his shoulders without giving it much of a second though.]
“Lets go to bed, you need some rest.”
“I'll be right there.”
“Love you.”
“I love you too..”
[Trent turns around and heads towards the bedroom as Ashlie watches him walk away before she picks the old camera up, she opens it back up to see it frozen on the picture of her and Adam kissing each other and she stares at it, this time oddly however she smiles at the picture.]
“Just an old trinket... that I don't need anymore.”
**DELETE**
[Ashlie throws the camera down and smiles wider as we fade to black on the sight of her walking back towards the bedroom... towards her future.]
I won't stand there and watch that again.
[The shakey ten year old camera footage plays on the screen, the camer waves back and forth as the person controlling tries their best to steady it to no real avail as they walk forward and open a door to a dressing room. We can see the familiar face of Adam Knite on the screen, he's much younger and we can see that he's backstage of some arena getting ready for some match. He turns and looks at the camera and smiles as he begins to lace his boots.]
“What are you doing Ashlie?”
“I'm catching the final glimpses of a wrestler before he wins the World title for the first time. This video is going to be huge after you hit it big, trust me... So tell me “Raptor”, how does it feel knowing that in about an hour you're going to be “World Heavyweight Champion.”
[Adam laughs as Ashlie zooms in on his face manually, aka: walking towards him, and puts his hand over the lens as he gently pushes her away.]
“Come on Ashlie, you're going to jinx me.”
“Don't be silly, there's no such thing, this is all yours.”
“You think so?”
“I know so! You've been training night and day for this, you've been going none stop since this match was announced, not a moments rest. Watching video, dissecting everything he can throw at you, there is no way you're going to walk out of here without that belt.”
“Well at least somebody is confident...”
[Adam lowers his head, his smile fades as he appears to stare at his boot... but his hands aren't moving to tie the laces anymore and he just stares past the shoe to the floor. Ashlie jumps slightly, we can tell by the movement of the camera, before she puts the camera down on a bench and rushes over to Adam's side, she softly puts her arm on his shoulder and leans in close to him.]
“Hey now! Don't start second guessing yourself, this is your time Adam. This is your night.”
“How can you be so sure... this guy has been world champion so many times, you don't think he's used to guys like me coming in there and thinking they are going to take his belt?”
“Because you want this too much to fail! After everything Boone and Punisher put you through, after being screwed out of all those chances to be World champion... this is finally YOUR shot. You won't let that slip through your fingers, I just know it. You're going to be the best Adam, even if you are stuck in those green tights.”
[Ashlie bites her bottom lip as she smiles and Adam shakes his head as he lets out a quick laugh. He turns to look at her and he smiles wide at her joke then nods his head now.]
“I believe in you Adam.”
[The couple share a kiss before Ashlie turns to walk away, maybe to grab the camera, maybe to get dressed herself, but we don't know, however she doesn't get fair before Adam grabs her by the arm and stops her.]
“Ashlie... don't leave me...”
“What's wrong?”
“I, I just don't want to be alone right now... look at me I'm shaking.”
[Ashlie watches as Adam lifts his right arm and sees his hand twitching, she thinks it's cute that his nerves are getting to him right now, but she also knows that she has to be there for him.]
“Of course Adam, anything.”
[Ashlie sits on the bench next to him and presses her body tightly against his. She lays her head on his shoulder as she wraps her arms around him and Adam smiles just having her there.]
“Thank you... I love you.”
“I love you.”
[The two begin to kiss softly int he room alone together.]
I will give everything I have to keep him Mercedes. You don't even understand the distance I'm willing to go to keep him at my side, you don't understand what he means to me. He isn't my Edward or my Jacob, he isn't some stupid popular pop culture reference for overweight teenage girls with overbites, he's my life Mercedes. He's everything. Without him, I'm nothing, without him I don't know if I can go on. He makes me happier than I've ever been, he makes me feel alive, he makes me feel like a person, he makes me feel like I can conquer the world if I put my mind to it. Nobody has given me that feeling in a long, long time. You had your chance and you wasted it, now move on and leave my happy ending alone.
I won't stand back and do nothing again.
[Ashlie watches the film on the little old video camera all alone in the dark of the living room. She sits on the couch viewing the video with a blank expression, she doesn't move, she barely breathes. She's watched this a thousand times, she's used it as motivation, but now it seems harder than ever to see. She doesn't notice at first when Trent walks into the room yawning from sleeping only half the night, but she quickly closes the camera to hide it from him. He stops and looks at the blank stare in her eyes and instantly knows something is up.]
“Ashlie? You Ok?”
“I'm fine... can't sleep.”
“What's wrong?”
“No...thing...”
[Ashlie turns away from his view, hiding her face the best she can as she stares at the floor, but Trent obviously isn't falling for that response as he notices something is up. He walks over to her and sits down next to her, putting his arm around her and pulling her close to him.]
“Is this about your match?”
“Sorta.. I just don't know if I can go through with this, I'm not strong enough to handle something like this, I'm not... I don't know if... I just... **sigh**.”
“Look, Ashley, I know your nervous and all, it's you going against Kelly and Mercedes that has to be tough for you on so many levels but I just want you to know one thing ok?”
“Yeah?”
“I believe in you. You're a strong woman, no matter what anybody says.”
“But what if I go out there and fall flat on my face and embarrass myself? What are people going to say if after all this time I go out there and just lose? I don't know if I can take that, I don't know if I want to even risk it right now...”
“Look, none of that matters. You're not going to embarrass yourself, you've been training too hard to get to where you're at right now for that, and if you lose, who cares? I won't, and as long as you go out there and give this everything you have like I know you will, and as long as you give those two the match of their lives, you will have proven yourself to everybody who doubted you.”
“Wow Trent... that's amazing.”
“Hey, sometimes I can have those highly intelligent flashes of insight too.”
“No, I meant you made it through that whole sentence without a single Dragon Ball reference.”
[Ashlie turns slowly to face Trent with a cute smile on her face as her head is still leaned towards the floor, only looking up at Trent through the tops of her eyes as if hiding her expression and it only causes him to laugh at her and shake his head.]
“That's what I get for coming in here trying to make you feel better? I see how it is... ”
[Trent pretends to be angry by trying to pull away from Ashlie, but she refuses to let him go and instead pulls herself even closer to him and wraps her arms around his neck and hugs him tightly.]
11 Years...
Count them, it's been eleven years Kelly. You know the day I'm talking about, the day you took my entire life away from me, the day you almost ruined me. I was happy, I was always smiling, I was fun and bright eyed and you stole that from me all in the blink of an eye, all on that plane ride back from Chicago on your dad's private jet. I was a kid, I thought I was always going to be that way, I thought my life was going to be perfect, I was going to get married and live happily ever after, but thanks to you, all of it was ripped away and you left me as nothing but a shell. A shell of who I used to be, hollow and empty, I felt the entire world was against me, I watched as your perfect life got even more perfect with the man I loved, I watched as you got richer with him by your side, and I watched as you and he succeeded in just about everything you imagined.
Do you know what that's like Kelly?
Of course you don't.
I was so sick of hearing about you and him, I was so tired of seeing you on my television screen. It was like torture, it was like a constant reminder that I wasn't good enough. I had been on that screen, I had been at his side, I was there when he won his first world title! I built Adam up during his tough times as Davey Boone constantly screwed him over, I was there for Adam and watched him cry after being heart broken after another missed opportunity at the NCW world title, I was there to pick him up when he was at his lowest! I encouraged him to keep going, I told him that his time would come and I never left his side, because I loved him, I loved him more than words could ever say and I would have stuck by him even if he lost every single match he had ever been in... but he didn't lose every match, no, I drove him to be his best and he eventually reached his goal and I was standing right there at ringside to witness it. I jumped into his arms, he lifted me up, he gave me the belt to hold into the air in celebration and it was one of the greatest feelings of my life...
Then you had to be there...
Then you had to take that from me...
WHY!?
You weren't there when he needed you the most, you weren't there as he was climbing the ladder, you came in when he was a success, you came in and stole him from me and nobody gave a ****. NOBODY! I had no friends, I dropped out of school to be in the business, I had no home, Leonard didn't care, he was dating you... it was like suddenly everything I knew was gone, my entire life was reduced to nothing.
Go ahead and laugh at me, talk about me holding this idiotic grudge for so long and just chuckled your ****ing head off about how you're so much better than me, maybe even throw out some of those witty comments of yours telling me that I wasn't good enough, do it! I don't care! I have a right to hold this grudge, I have a right to be hurt, I have a right to still hold onto that moment as the turning point of my life, because it was just that. It was the point where I had to make something of myself or die, I had to do something or I would never get this chance to be here today. I did things I'm not proud of to get ahead, I did what I had to do to survive when I was literally dumped off a plane at some transitional airport... all just to prove to the world... and you that I wasn't worthless, that I didn't deserve to be treated like yesterday's garbage, that I meant something!
You don't know what it's like to always see somebody else face every where you go, always feeling like you have to prove yourself to that person because she makes you feel like a worthless piece of **** every time you see her happy on National television. I watched as you became this huge star, I watched as Adam was inducted in hall of fame after Hall of Fame, and he never once mentioned my name, or mentioned who I was and how I was there for him in the beginning. You were his life, you were his driving force, you were everything to him and I was suddenly just a piece of dog **** he wiped off his boot.
You don't know what it's like to be forgotten.
I do.
You stepped into the scene and suddenly I was nothing to Adam, Joe Everyman after professing his undying love to me just threw me to the side the second his whore ass wife decided that she gave a **** again and I was nothing but sex and fun for Simon, it wasn't until I got with Trent did he ever care that I left.
You don't know that feeling, you have no idea what that is like!
You feel lower than dirt, you feel like just putting a gun to your head and ending it every second of every day. The money, the fame, the world famous athletes and Hollywood parties, none of it stops it form eating away at you, nothing stops it from just gnawing away at your brain reminding you that you're still not good enough. Knowing that out there, there was that one person who you hated more than anything in this world laughing at you, thinking that she was still better than you no matter what you did. It's worse than death, imagine the most horrible thing in the world and just imagine it happening to you every single day of your life because you're always reminded about it. My clients would ask me, people in the street would ask me, sports journalists, wrestling magazines... I was always the obscure story, the first manager of Adam Knite, I was the footnote to your and his glorious relationship...
and I vowed to never let that happen again...
I vowed to never be forgotten, ever again.
This match isn't about winning or losing to me Kelly, I want your world title, and I want to beat the hell out of Mercedes but this... this is about so much more to me. It's about being justified, it's about my entire life. I don't know where I would have ended up if you wouldn't have changed my entire life in the beat of an eye, I don't know where I would have ended up, but I do know that you changed me, you made me into something else, that I wasn't supposed to be. You did that to me, and yes I'm going to hold onto that grudge....
Until Sunday.
That's when this all ends for me, this is when I finally put you behind me, put my entire life up to this point and just leave it behind, because I get my chance, to finally show you that I am somebody and I didn't deserve to be treated like that. So no, I don't care about winning, I don't give a **** about coming out and pinning you, it's not what this match is about to me. I have my chance to be me again, I'm going to end this, finally on Crossroads. There will be no more wondering what if, there will be no seeing your face every time I come up short, there will be no second guessing myself or telling myself that I'm not good enough.
Win or lose,
everything will be behind me.
I will finally prove myself...
Win or lose,
I won't be just another face in the crowd.
Win or lose...
I'm still Ashlie...
And you'll never forget me.
[Trent stands to his feet and urges Ashlie to join him as he begins to walk away from the couch and back to the bedroom, but this is when he notices the small old camera laying next to her, he stops and points at it with a puzzled look on his face.]
“What's that?”
“It's just an old trinket I found in the back of one of my closets in some box.”
“Does it still work?”
“Nah, I think it needs a battery or something, I was just playing with it.”
[Trent shrugs his shoulders without giving it much of a second though.]
“Lets go to bed, you need some rest.”
“I'll be right there.”
“Love you.”
“I love you too..”
[Trent turns around and heads towards the bedroom as Ashlie watches him walk away before she picks the old camera up, she opens it back up to see it frozen on the picture of her and Adam kissing each other and she stares at it, this time oddly however she smiles at the picture.]
“Just an old trinket... that I don't need anymore.”
**DELETE**
[Ashlie throws the camera down and smiles wider as we fade to black on the sight of her walking back towards the bedroom... towards her future.]
