Post by Lex Sense on Mar 4, 2012 2:26:55 GMT -6
Predictability.
That's a tool we don't have as we head into Crossroads. I said it myself, there's no way of knowing what will begin or how it will end.
We can only go into this event with hopes of something more, something better. For me, it's about retribution. Something I've been seeking since before Angel showed me what not to become. I was once a man with voices in my head. Voices ordering me to do things that I did not want to do but did to keep the status quo. I worked for those that should've been working for me. I was lost and confused seeking meaning in a meaningless world. A meaning I found as I feuded with a man that would give my life definition.
Inadvertently, I found meaning through an enemy.
Real meaning and not some fallacy derived from nonexistent voices. I was a delusional man lost in illusions of grandeur but now,... Now I am alive. Alive to be myself with no one to answer to but myself. I've sacrificed to be here and I know I'm not the only one but I'm the one speaking here so my story is the only one that matters right now. We've all had our time to say our say and now we must show the world what we mean.
Meaning found through chaotic brutality.
That's a tool we don't have as we head into Crossroads. I said it myself, there's no way of knowing what will begin or how it will end.
We can only go into this event with hopes of something more, something better. For me, it's about retribution. Something I've been seeking since before Angel showed me what not to become. I was once a man with voices in my head. Voices ordering me to do things that I did not want to do but did to keep the status quo. I worked for those that should've been working for me. I was lost and confused seeking meaning in a meaningless world. A meaning I found as I feuded with a man that would give my life definition.
Inadvertently, I found meaning through an enemy.
Real meaning and not some fallacy derived from nonexistent voices. I was a delusional man lost in illusions of grandeur but now,... Now I am alive. Alive to be myself with no one to answer to but myself. I've sacrificed to be here and I know I'm not the only one but I'm the one speaking here so my story is the only one that matters right now. We've all had our time to say our say and now we must show the world what we mean.
Meaning found through chaotic brutality.
{Sense stands outside a room in some hospital, in some county, in the country. Lady Die leans against his shoulder, holding his hand in hers. Sense has been around death but this is something new to him. This time he actually has some semblance of feeling for the old lady dying in the room in which he now stands in front of. A doctor comes out with his notepad in hand and stethoscope around his neck, shaking his head as he looks up to Sense with a fearful expression.}
Doctor: I... I just...
Lady Die: Out with it doc!
Doctor: She has a day... At the most. Sorry.
{The doctor reaches up to Sense to pat his shoulder with a sympathetic gesture but Lex shrugs him off. Why should anyone sympathize for this behemoth? Why should anyone care how he feels about death when he lived his whole life mocking it? The doctor stands there, unsure as to what to do but Sense pushes off the wall he was leaning against, takes his hand from out of Lady's and extends it to shake the hand of the man that tried to save a life.}
Lex Sense: No need to feel sorry, mate. Thanks for your troubles but I don't think I am here to see the old gal miraculously pull through. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to see how this ends.
{The doctor nods and goes on his way as Sense stands outside a room in some hospital, in some county, in the country. A room that will house the death of an old lady. He stares at Lady and then enters.}
I grew up having wicked nightmares. I didn't know what it was like to dream because once my eyes closed and I fell into a deep sleep, the monsters would come out from under my bed and out of my closet to terrorize me as I slept. I don't think I ever had the luxury of a full night's rest due to this problem and here is Todd Williams talking about dreams as if they were gumdrops out of a vending machine. Todd simply puts a quarter into imaginary machinations and automatically has a dream suitable to whatever problem he faces that week. I don't know what it's like to dream Todd. You see, I rarely sleep. I tend to stay awake in hopes that I wont miss something...
Like waking you from your slumber and ending your ridiculous dreams.
You surprised me Todd. You showed me something when you lifted me off my feet and threw me out of the ring as if I weighed a feather. You showed the world an inner strength inside of you. One that is rarely seen from you and you impressed me. Sure, it pissed me the hell off and now it motivates me to ensure that you don't leave a ring that I share with you without a new bruise, but you impressed me. I thought to myself that maybe Todd had changed. Maybe he was about to wow the world and teach all the little girls and boys worldwide that dreams do come true. I expected you to beat Xander and then don a Jimminy Cricket outfit to sing "When you Wish Upon a Star" to all those dreamers out there but then... You went right back to disappointing anybody that cares about anything you do.
You had your shot and you failed miserably.
You almost had it, but almost doesn't win awards, or in this case championship belts. Sure, you didn't lose but you definitely didn't win either and I can assure you that if I had won RIOT, you wouldn't be facing Xander for the strap at Crossroads. You would be facing me. Luckily I don't live in a world of what ifs. Instead I choose to live in a world of what will and what will happen is that you're going to scream out your name and perform some death defying stunts only to be drilled to the ground for showboating.
While it must be nice to dream, it's time to wake the f*ck up and be blinded by the light of truth.
The light that guides you straight back to the middle of the card.
Like waking you from your slumber and ending your ridiculous dreams.
You surprised me Todd. You showed me something when you lifted me off my feet and threw me out of the ring as if I weighed a feather. You showed the world an inner strength inside of you. One that is rarely seen from you and you impressed me. Sure, it pissed me the hell off and now it motivates me to ensure that you don't leave a ring that I share with you without a new bruise, but you impressed me. I thought to myself that maybe Todd had changed. Maybe he was about to wow the world and teach all the little girls and boys worldwide that dreams do come true. I expected you to beat Xander and then don a Jimminy Cricket outfit to sing "When you Wish Upon a Star" to all those dreamers out there but then... You went right back to disappointing anybody that cares about anything you do.
You had your shot and you failed miserably.
You almost had it, but almost doesn't win awards, or in this case championship belts. Sure, you didn't lose but you definitely didn't win either and I can assure you that if I had won RIOT, you wouldn't be facing Xander for the strap at Crossroads. You would be facing me. Luckily I don't live in a world of what ifs. Instead I choose to live in a world of what will and what will happen is that you're going to scream out your name and perform some death defying stunts only to be drilled to the ground for showboating.
While it must be nice to dream, it's time to wake the f*ck up and be blinded by the light of truth.
The light that guides you straight back to the middle of the card.
{Sense takes a seat next to the bed. He can smell the rank odor of flesh rotting in the room. Or maybe he imagines it. The old lady forces a painful smile. One that seemed to hurt her with each curl of the lip. She feebly reaches out with a shaking hand and Sense allows her to caress his stressed out face. A face wrinkled by the hard life he lived. She tries to speak but ends up coughing up a storm so Sense leans in so she doesn't have to raise her voice more than she has to. She whispers into his ear with a raspy tone.}
Grandma: I knew you would come. *cough* The last time you... visited me you left without... me finishing what I had to say. *cough*
{She finds it hard to speak and every so often she coughs up a lung. She constantly switches position of her head. Almost as if searching for the right way to speak without it hurting. Sense doesn't know what to say but he can see the life being drained from her eyes by some unseen force. Almost tasting her soul as she whispers into his ear.}
Grandma: Your mother... she never died.
Lex Sense: Is this why you wanted to see me?
Grandma: Not the only reason... I also wanted to see my grandson before I left this Earth.
{Sense feels weighed down, almost touched. Should he care that this old lady that shares his DNA is dying before him? Because he doesn't, or at least that's what he tells himself.}
Grandma: Now... I had my lawyers put together... these papers. You have to read them. *cough*
Lex Sense: Papers?
Grandma: Don't worry hon... you'll get them. You're mother... she needs you to... to... ugh...
{The lady can't finish her sentence as the last bit of her life seems to be reaching it's end. The heart monitor begins to beep wildly and Lex's grandmother begins tossing and turning. Sense holds her hand and she squeezes tightly as Sense stands to his feet.}
Lex Sense: Doctor! Nurse! SOMEBODY!!
{You can hear the footsteps of several people rushing the room from down the hall but they're going to be too late. Grandma pulls in Sense with the last bit of her strength and eerily smiles at him, almost happy that soon the pain will stop. Sense feels something surge through his body, something unfamiliar. His grandmother is dying and he feels as if he is ten year's old hearing the news about how his mother died all over again. A tear rolls down his cheek as she says her final words.}
Grandma: She needs you... to live...
{And then... nothing. Her eyes roll to the back of her head as Sense falls back on his chair with a heavy blow to his heart. Unsure of why it weighs so heavily on his shoulders. He stares into nothing as the heart monitor flatlines. Nurses and doctors rush into the room to try and revive her but they are too late and Sense watches as an old lady dies in some room, in some county, in the country.}
I have three words for Jimmy Zane, Ben & Jerry's. You and I had a grand old time traveling the world and leaving the Youngbloods name tagged up in ice cream shops and strip clubs alike. I would not contest that you have seen a side of me that I don't really care to show to the world. That's because I trust you Jimmy. Do I think I carried you? Absolutely not. Without Jimmy there would be no Youngbloods...
But in that same sentence, without Sense Jimmy would not be where Jimmy is at.
Now I am a huge Jimmy Zane supporter. I believe that Jimmy is underrated and many people look down at Jimmy just because he's a little flamboyant. He's cut differently from the mold and while I know Jimmy is destined to be World Champion, it wont be at my expense. See Jimmy, just like you know me, I know you and you tend to find excuses as to why things don't go your way before you even try. I can see it in your eyes. You're redy and willing to wear that gold around your waist but I just can't believe it in your words. You speak a fine game but at the end of the night, you're all talk.
Hot smoke being blown out of your overinflated ego.
There's no doubt in my mind that Jimmy can hold his own. If I wasn't in this match I would be rooting for the InZane one but... I am and I plan on winning this. I've proven to you and to the world that my allegiance to you matters not when it comes to business. I did that when I indented the ring with your back and pinned you not so long ago. I am able to separate friendship from contendership and if you allow me too, I will ride out of Crossroads with a belt around my waist at your expense. You're the closest thing to a friend I have but this is the closest I've been to the World Championship so for this match, I'm getting as far away from you as a friend so I can come at you as an enemy.
I can take the InZanity but I don't think you can take my Prediction.
A prediction that sees you on your back as I etch my name into the annals of nCw. I came into nCw without friends and I don't mind telling you that I could leave without them as well if it means that my business gets handled. You said it yourself, this is just business and it's my business to take smug bastards like yourself and humble them before my might.
I'm not afraid of you Jimmy.
Even if you do know my deep and dark secrets because frankly, the only me you should be worried about is the me that you will be facing in that ring on Sunday.
Because that me cares not for the partnership of a Youngblood...
That me only cares about crushing you and tasting your sweet young blood.
But in that same sentence, without Sense Jimmy would not be where Jimmy is at.
Now I am a huge Jimmy Zane supporter. I believe that Jimmy is underrated and many people look down at Jimmy just because he's a little flamboyant. He's cut differently from the mold and while I know Jimmy is destined to be World Champion, it wont be at my expense. See Jimmy, just like you know me, I know you and you tend to find excuses as to why things don't go your way before you even try. I can see it in your eyes. You're redy and willing to wear that gold around your waist but I just can't believe it in your words. You speak a fine game but at the end of the night, you're all talk.
Hot smoke being blown out of your overinflated ego.
There's no doubt in my mind that Jimmy can hold his own. If I wasn't in this match I would be rooting for the InZane one but... I am and I plan on winning this. I've proven to you and to the world that my allegiance to you matters not when it comes to business. I did that when I indented the ring with your back and pinned you not so long ago. I am able to separate friendship from contendership and if you allow me too, I will ride out of Crossroads with a belt around my waist at your expense. You're the closest thing to a friend I have but this is the closest I've been to the World Championship so for this match, I'm getting as far away from you as a friend so I can come at you as an enemy.
I can take the InZanity but I don't think you can take my Prediction.
A prediction that sees you on your back as I etch my name into the annals of nCw. I came into nCw without friends and I don't mind telling you that I could leave without them as well if it means that my business gets handled. You said it yourself, this is just business and it's my business to take smug bastards like yourself and humble them before my might.
I'm not afraid of you Jimmy.
Even if you do know my deep and dark secrets because frankly, the only me you should be worried about is the me that you will be facing in that ring on Sunday.
Because that me cares not for the partnership of a Youngblood...
That me only cares about crushing you and tasting your sweet young blood.
{Everything is spinning as Lex exits the room. White noise statics into his ear as his heavy heart seems to be pumping blood into his brain so fast that it damages his hearing. Briefly, he is stunned and doesn't know exactly where he is at as nurses push him out the door so that they could try and save a lady that was dead the moment they carted her into the room. Sense walks past Lady and heads for the elevators that lead to the exit. Lady says something to him but he hears nothing as he stares off into space. He continues walking in hopes of getting out of there as fast as he could. He knows the outcome of this event and he wishes to get away from it as soon as possible.}
Lady Die: Crazy...
{Finally Lady's voice breaks through the static as Lex turns to look at her blankly. The noises of the world soon follow as his hearing comes back. Lady rushes to follow behind him as he takes giant steps. He reaches the elevator and presses a button.}
Lady Die: That's it?
Lex Sense: That's it.
{The elevator dings signaling the sliding open of the doors and Lex and Lady step inside. Sense pushes a button marked with an L for lobby just as Lady hands him a manila folder.}
Lady Die: By the way, some dude in a penguin suit gave me this to give to you. He said it was from your grandma.
{Lex looks at the folder as the elevator doors slide to a close.}
There's been this cycle in nCw. A cycle that recently appeared when Xander became the best in the world. The old front began crumbling to the new front and men the likes of Steve Awesome, Rob Diamond and even Adam Knite began to lose themselves in the ebb and flow of the new agenda. Men like Jimmy Zane, Todd Williams, Roberto Verona and even myself began to taste the sweet nectar of main eventing and these great masters of this industry then had to decide whether to step aside or continue trying to tighten their grasp around a kingdom that was being clearly overthrown. The crowning of a new champion paved the way for new names to take the stage in the grandest of stages.
Xander Famularo is the one to thank for this occurrence. This happening.
It was subtle and only those with eyes on the set and ears to the floor could see this event take place. A glorious and triumphant changing of the guard. If you look at nCw's platform today, you would see names that only months ago would not be where they are today if it wasn't for this magnificent gesture by the great Son of Gib. And then... Well then...
You joined Adam in his crusade to put things back to the way they were.
You are foolish if you think you have any say with your Hierarchy Xander. All I see is a dictatorship with Adam clearly pulling the reigns. You're a slave to him just like you're a slave to your daddy's shadow. How dare you insult my intelligence by insinuating that your stable for power is a stable for equality when just last week Adam proved to the world that all he wants is what HE wants.
You take a backseat every chance you get X.
You came to nCw with a painted face to hide your shame and quickly left with your tail tucked between your legs when you couldn't cut it on your own. Then you came back riding your daddy's coattails and wearing his face to whimper in your daddy's shadow. You came back sucking the teet of one Maniac and then removed your mask to polish your sister's fingernails. Finding success using your father's name. You are nothing but muscle. Nothing but a dog on a leash looking for an owner.
But I'm not here to question your lifestyle choice... I'm here to end your dominant reign.
Because unlike you, I'm not looking to overcome what people think about me. Unlike you I have no need to prove myself when I've already done it. I have no desire to be petted by those above me for a job well done and then fed a Scooby Snack. Yes, Xander, you are every bit the superpower you claim to be. Even as I defeated you I felt your power. You eat pain like breakfast vitamins sh*tting out torture to dish out to your opponents. You use your tragic backstory to give you strength to overcome the odds placed against you. You're a safe bet....
And you've grown complacent and soft.
You have it wrong mate. I don't wish to contest your accolades. Everything everyone thinks you are has been proudly proven by you. You've showed the world that Son of Gib is no longer a stigma you wish to live with. You've created a name from nothing and went from being a masked and silent goon to an unmasked and talkative goon. You went from beating people to a bloody pulp under the name Homeless Harold to beating people to a bloody pulp under the name Xander Famularo. You took your daddy's old pseudonym and used it to make a new name for yourself. It just so happens that that name ends in your father's name. So tell me, what exactly are you talking about?
Because I don't see anything that you are doing differently now that you weren't doing then.
I don't question your brutality and I don't question your past accomplishments. What I do question is this need you have to lie to the people that cheer your name. Stop playing the role of the underdog Xander because it no longer fits. It never did. You were always a dominant force of nature. Ever since you came back with your dad's old facade. You are exactly and every bit the man you were then. You just wish to show the world this face so they could rally behind you and fight for what you deem is right but what you and your Hierarchy friends deem right, has now become wrong.
If we hope for the change that you made to continue, we have to declaw the man that brought it about. We need to take the title off of you so that this company can be everything you claim you want it to be. I'm not Roberto Verona but I can see what he means when he questions you and your friend's habits. You huddle around in your playhouse and dream up ideas to make this comapny "fair" when in reality, it's only fair for you. How selfish of you to hide the truth and then make up false reasons and excuses to why you do what you do when it's only to feed your own ego with becoming the one with the longest reign. You're willing to do anything to make this happen and I'm willing to do anything to ensure that it does not.
So we are at a Crossroads and I plan to walk the path that ends with me crushing you under the heel of my boot to put you out like a burnt out cigarette.
Figuratively speaking of course. Wouldn't want you to think that I was being literal.
Xander Famularo is the one to thank for this occurrence. This happening.
It was subtle and only those with eyes on the set and ears to the floor could see this event take place. A glorious and triumphant changing of the guard. If you look at nCw's platform today, you would see names that only months ago would not be where they are today if it wasn't for this magnificent gesture by the great Son of Gib. And then... Well then...
You joined Adam in his crusade to put things back to the way they were.
You are foolish if you think you have any say with your Hierarchy Xander. All I see is a dictatorship with Adam clearly pulling the reigns. You're a slave to him just like you're a slave to your daddy's shadow. How dare you insult my intelligence by insinuating that your stable for power is a stable for equality when just last week Adam proved to the world that all he wants is what HE wants.
You take a backseat every chance you get X.
You came to nCw with a painted face to hide your shame and quickly left with your tail tucked between your legs when you couldn't cut it on your own. Then you came back riding your daddy's coattails and wearing his face to whimper in your daddy's shadow. You came back sucking the teet of one Maniac and then removed your mask to polish your sister's fingernails. Finding success using your father's name. You are nothing but muscle. Nothing but a dog on a leash looking for an owner.
But I'm not here to question your lifestyle choice... I'm here to end your dominant reign.
Because unlike you, I'm not looking to overcome what people think about me. Unlike you I have no need to prove myself when I've already done it. I have no desire to be petted by those above me for a job well done and then fed a Scooby Snack. Yes, Xander, you are every bit the superpower you claim to be. Even as I defeated you I felt your power. You eat pain like breakfast vitamins sh*tting out torture to dish out to your opponents. You use your tragic backstory to give you strength to overcome the odds placed against you. You're a safe bet....
And you've grown complacent and soft.
You have it wrong mate. I don't wish to contest your accolades. Everything everyone thinks you are has been proudly proven by you. You've showed the world that Son of Gib is no longer a stigma you wish to live with. You've created a name from nothing and went from being a masked and silent goon to an unmasked and talkative goon. You went from beating people to a bloody pulp under the name Homeless Harold to beating people to a bloody pulp under the name Xander Famularo. You took your daddy's old pseudonym and used it to make a new name for yourself. It just so happens that that name ends in your father's name. So tell me, what exactly are you talking about?
Because I don't see anything that you are doing differently now that you weren't doing then.
I don't question your brutality and I don't question your past accomplishments. What I do question is this need you have to lie to the people that cheer your name. Stop playing the role of the underdog Xander because it no longer fits. It never did. You were always a dominant force of nature. Ever since you came back with your dad's old facade. You are exactly and every bit the man you were then. You just wish to show the world this face so they could rally behind you and fight for what you deem is right but what you and your Hierarchy friends deem right, has now become wrong.
If we hope for the change that you made to continue, we have to declaw the man that brought it about. We need to take the title off of you so that this company can be everything you claim you want it to be. I'm not Roberto Verona but I can see what he means when he questions you and your friend's habits. You huddle around in your playhouse and dream up ideas to make this comapny "fair" when in reality, it's only fair for you. How selfish of you to hide the truth and then make up false reasons and excuses to why you do what you do when it's only to feed your own ego with becoming the one with the longest reign. You're willing to do anything to make this happen and I'm willing to do anything to ensure that it does not.
So we are at a Crossroads and I plan to walk the path that ends with me crushing you under the heel of my boot to put you out like a burnt out cigarette.
Figuratively speaking of course. Wouldn't want you to think that I was being literal.
"I want this.
I don't need it but I want it. I believe that new blood needs to be injected into nCw's veins so that it could rise higher than it already has.
Xander did all he could do to make his dominant reign entertaining but he's begun to flounder and people are starting to complain about how stale the World Championship scene has become. I'll give him credit, he made it possible for a man like me to get here but I got here by my own accord. And by my own accord I will leave Crossroads with a title around my waist and nobody to thank but those that supported me. Those that gave meaning to my life. We all live and die...
But it's how we live that gives our death meaning.
He'll have a glorious send off when I end his reign as champion...
I hope he can give me a wonderful homecoming as your new World Champion." - Lex Sense
