Post by Steve Awesome on Nov 22, 2007 0:45:45 GMT -6
Have you ever herd the cliché about Michigan weather? Well take it from me, if Mother Nature controlled the weather for the whole Earth, then for some reason she has allowed her cracked out sister to control Michigan. And for that I’d like to see Michigan rise up and pimp slap her like I know that it can. Alas, obviously that cannot happen, so I guess I’m stuck from crazy weather that rivals Day After Tomorrow in complete asinine weather patterns. It’s the middle of November. Winter time! But just last week we enjoyed a brisk summer rain and went out and played some Frisbee in the sun. Then the next day, I froze my balls off taking out the trash. And now, it’s raining outside. I don’t enjoy it, and our hero isn’t enjoying it either as he stares out of his window in his Detroit home.
The rain is hitting the window and falling into vast designs as it does.
“Look at it come down out there.”
He said with a look of disdain. He shakes his head in disgust.
“I’m not going out there. These clothes cost more than your life!”
Awesome says, to the cameraman that had been filming him. Awesome slowly turns his head to the camera. And if this was your first time dealing with a guy like Steve Awesome, then prepare to instantly hate everything he is. He looks into the camera with one of the most arrogant smirks in the world. The only way to actually describe it would be to imagine the Elvis lip curl. Then add in a half smile and your close. There’s something extra to it that can’t be described. But whatever it was it had the power to infuriate you with every inch of your body at first, but then eventually you start to understand it. Then you agree. How can a man this cocky be lying when he said he was good?
“Hello Awesome-holics. It is I. The blast of class. The Awesome One. The prettiest player in the game.”
His bright green eyes glare into the camera sending a look of hatred toward a lot of things mixed with a Grinch like smile that leads you to believe he might act upon some of those impure thoughts. The rest of him, however, looks as though he came straight from the celebrity lifestyle. Dressed in a pair of low rise, snug fitting black pants a blue and silver vest that was opened up so that his finely cut abs could show. And his hair…..oh his hair was perfect, as always. Feathered to perfection, along with layers and highlights and what not. Just pure sexy.
“My name is Steve Awesome. And your going to be coming along with me as I take control of this company just like all the other ones. Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the first ever, Awesomely Informed.”
The above graphic hit’s the screen for a few moments before giving way to the Awesome visual.
“Let me tell you a little about me. I’m a man among men. An image of perfection. In mind, body, and soul! I don’t lower myself to the look of your average wrestler. Your Reckless Jack’s or your Spike Kane’s. You see, I am a true champion! Those boys are slobs. I walk, talk, and act like a champion, because I intend on being one.”
His eyes narrow.
“But make no mistakes, and this goes out to all the boys here that I might have known from past occupations and to the other boys here that I haven’t had the “pleasure” of meeting just yet, if you cross my path…..I WILL make you regret it. Write that down.”
He pauses for a moment, before returning to a somewhat better mood.
“So, having said that, let’s get down to business shall we? I just read The Fox Report earlier. It seems the lovely Miss Fox, has given me the early edge to win in my debut match on Suspense. It seems that some of the boys in the back have given me some credibility before I even made an official promo here in the company. Thanks boys, it’s nice to see some people give me the credit that I deserve. And I especially would like to thank Miss Fox for going on what they said, and actually giving me the nod before you’ve even seen me perform. I’ll send you an autograph later with my cell number on it.”
Awesome winks at a potential date, although I’m sure when Miss Fox does view this promo she may not be so sure on that date.
“But with all do respect, I don’t need any favors from you. I don’t need you fools in the back flapping your gums about your better. My talent will speak for itself on Suspense when I proceed to run directly through my so called opponent this Saturday.”
You can tell that Steve Awesome was not very impressed with his challenger in his debut match. In fact, I’m not sure if much else did impress him aside from his own reflection.
“Heh, you would think that a man of my talents would have been paired with a challenger that has actually wrestled in the past six years. Or, hell, even a guy with an intimidating name. Double L? What does that even stand for? “Loser Larry”? HA! That’s way better than your old name.”
Awesome pauses.
“So Larry, has it really been six years since you have last stepped into a ring? Wow, I can’t believe it. I mean, you are aware of how much wrestling has changed since then right? God, it’s always changing. And I can tell you really have no idea what your doing, considering you went to a show ran by Booker T to get back into the swing of things. That really shows me that you know what your doing.”
Awesome says as the sarcasm shoots off his tongue like a poison dart.
“See me, I’ve been adapting all my life. Flowing with the ever changing wrestling atmosphere and picking up on a little bit of everything. Technique, speed, strikes, submission, it’s all in the old repertoire. Ready to bust out on an old unsuspecting old timer whose self proclaimed “fabled tale” seems about as abysmal as his chances are of winning this Saturday.”
Steve grins, pausing to pop a piece of gum into his mouth. Smacking his jaw together and arrogantly chewing the gum.
“You wrestled in some pool hall company and fought for a tag team, and an Intercontinental reign. Pfft……..some legacy that was. Sounds to me like you were just a pitiful over-glorified mid-carder in a company that nobody cared about. I mean you actually list “giving up smoking” as one of your greatest accomplishments. I know it can be hard to quit, but seriously? Tag team, IC, and giving up smoking. Wow, what a ring vet I’m facing this week, awesome-holics.”
Awesome says as he winks at the camera as if here talking to his many “fans”.
“But if were talking about our pasts achievements well then……
He clears his throat obnoxiously, but then stops as if he just thought of something else.
“Actually, you can just read my bio page. I don’t have the time to list them all for you. And by the sound of your redneck voice, your probably wouldn’t be able to fully grasp the concept anyhow. But the thing that I think is the funniest out of everything? This fool actually had the gall to tell me to fear him. Humph, a guy like me doesn’t fear a guy like Larry. A guy like Larry fixes my car when it breaks down. A guy like Larry gets arrested for domestic violence and spends time behind bars, only to come out a year later with a horrible personality glitch that causes him to kill babies and make love to sheep! Dear God, it’s a horrible thing.”
Awesome shakes his head in pure disgust.
“But lucky for Loser Larry, I don’t fear him in the slightest. The guys main finisher, the main move that I need to watch out for is a Helicopter Pin! A move where he spins me around a few times and then tries to pin me. That’s it. That’s supposed to make me fear him? What is he going to do next? Kneel down on all fours behind me and have a buddy push me down? Save the backyard moves for the amateurs brother.”
He flashes that cocky smirk again.
“See Larry, I don’t have much to fear at all. I’m sorry to have to tell you this….but…..your not really all that scary. I mean, I’m almost positive that I’m going to walk into Suspense and ultimately stop your “big time” comeback right before it even starts, and I have my reasons. Not only because it’s my first match too and losing would definitely make me look bad, not because you used the over used cliché of “rasslin’s in mah blood”….”
He says in his best redneck accent.
“……and not even because you sound like some sick ass freak who enjoys hurting people way to much!”
Awesome looks around and the tips his hand to his side and cups one side of his mouth as if he were whispering to the fans.
“Remember what I said about the domestic violence charges……watch this guy America.”
Steve winks as he moves his hand.
“I’m not even going to kick your ass this Saturday because you have a stupid name…….”
He shakes his head.
“I’m going to beat your redneck ass, because you insulted my hair. And Larry, when you insult my hair…..Things. Get. Personal. And if you didn’t know that by now….prepare to be Awesomely Informed!”
Static.
The rain is hitting the window and falling into vast designs as it does.
“Look at it come down out there.”
He said with a look of disdain. He shakes his head in disgust.
“I’m not going out there. These clothes cost more than your life!”
Awesome says, to the cameraman that had been filming him. Awesome slowly turns his head to the camera. And if this was your first time dealing with a guy like Steve Awesome, then prepare to instantly hate everything he is. He looks into the camera with one of the most arrogant smirks in the world. The only way to actually describe it would be to imagine the Elvis lip curl. Then add in a half smile and your close. There’s something extra to it that can’t be described. But whatever it was it had the power to infuriate you with every inch of your body at first, but then eventually you start to understand it. Then you agree. How can a man this cocky be lying when he said he was good?
“Hello Awesome-holics. It is I. The blast of class. The Awesome One. The prettiest player in the game.”
His bright green eyes glare into the camera sending a look of hatred toward a lot of things mixed with a Grinch like smile that leads you to believe he might act upon some of those impure thoughts. The rest of him, however, looks as though he came straight from the celebrity lifestyle. Dressed in a pair of low rise, snug fitting black pants a blue and silver vest that was opened up so that his finely cut abs could show. And his hair…..oh his hair was perfect, as always. Feathered to perfection, along with layers and highlights and what not. Just pure sexy.
“My name is Steve Awesome. And your going to be coming along with me as I take control of this company just like all the other ones. Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the first ever, Awesomely Informed.”
The above graphic hit’s the screen for a few moments before giving way to the Awesome visual.
“Let me tell you a little about me. I’m a man among men. An image of perfection. In mind, body, and soul! I don’t lower myself to the look of your average wrestler. Your Reckless Jack’s or your Spike Kane’s. You see, I am a true champion! Those boys are slobs. I walk, talk, and act like a champion, because I intend on being one.”
His eyes narrow.
“But make no mistakes, and this goes out to all the boys here that I might have known from past occupations and to the other boys here that I haven’t had the “pleasure” of meeting just yet, if you cross my path…..I WILL make you regret it. Write that down.”
He pauses for a moment, before returning to a somewhat better mood.
“So, having said that, let’s get down to business shall we? I just read The Fox Report earlier. It seems the lovely Miss Fox, has given me the early edge to win in my debut match on Suspense. It seems that some of the boys in the back have given me some credibility before I even made an official promo here in the company. Thanks boys, it’s nice to see some people give me the credit that I deserve. And I especially would like to thank Miss Fox for going on what they said, and actually giving me the nod before you’ve even seen me perform. I’ll send you an autograph later with my cell number on it.”
Awesome winks at a potential date, although I’m sure when Miss Fox does view this promo she may not be so sure on that date.
“But with all do respect, I don’t need any favors from you. I don’t need you fools in the back flapping your gums about your better. My talent will speak for itself on Suspense when I proceed to run directly through my so called opponent this Saturday.”
You can tell that Steve Awesome was not very impressed with his challenger in his debut match. In fact, I’m not sure if much else did impress him aside from his own reflection.
“Heh, you would think that a man of my talents would have been paired with a challenger that has actually wrestled in the past six years. Or, hell, even a guy with an intimidating name. Double L? What does that even stand for? “Loser Larry”? HA! That’s way better than your old name.”
Awesome pauses.
“So Larry, has it really been six years since you have last stepped into a ring? Wow, I can’t believe it. I mean, you are aware of how much wrestling has changed since then right? God, it’s always changing. And I can tell you really have no idea what your doing, considering you went to a show ran by Booker T to get back into the swing of things. That really shows me that you know what your doing.”
Awesome says as the sarcasm shoots off his tongue like a poison dart.
“See me, I’ve been adapting all my life. Flowing with the ever changing wrestling atmosphere and picking up on a little bit of everything. Technique, speed, strikes, submission, it’s all in the old repertoire. Ready to bust out on an old unsuspecting old timer whose self proclaimed “fabled tale” seems about as abysmal as his chances are of winning this Saturday.”
Steve grins, pausing to pop a piece of gum into his mouth. Smacking his jaw together and arrogantly chewing the gum.
“You wrestled in some pool hall company and fought for a tag team, and an Intercontinental reign. Pfft……..some legacy that was. Sounds to me like you were just a pitiful over-glorified mid-carder in a company that nobody cared about. I mean you actually list “giving up smoking” as one of your greatest accomplishments. I know it can be hard to quit, but seriously? Tag team, IC, and giving up smoking. Wow, what a ring vet I’m facing this week, awesome-holics.”
Awesome says as he winks at the camera as if here talking to his many “fans”.
“But if were talking about our pasts achievements well then……
He clears his throat obnoxiously, but then stops as if he just thought of something else.
“Actually, you can just read my bio page. I don’t have the time to list them all for you. And by the sound of your redneck voice, your probably wouldn’t be able to fully grasp the concept anyhow. But the thing that I think is the funniest out of everything? This fool actually had the gall to tell me to fear him. Humph, a guy like me doesn’t fear a guy like Larry. A guy like Larry fixes my car when it breaks down. A guy like Larry gets arrested for domestic violence and spends time behind bars, only to come out a year later with a horrible personality glitch that causes him to kill babies and make love to sheep! Dear God, it’s a horrible thing.”
Awesome shakes his head in pure disgust.
“But lucky for Loser Larry, I don’t fear him in the slightest. The guys main finisher, the main move that I need to watch out for is a Helicopter Pin! A move where he spins me around a few times and then tries to pin me. That’s it. That’s supposed to make me fear him? What is he going to do next? Kneel down on all fours behind me and have a buddy push me down? Save the backyard moves for the amateurs brother.”
He flashes that cocky smirk again.
“See Larry, I don’t have much to fear at all. I’m sorry to have to tell you this….but…..your not really all that scary. I mean, I’m almost positive that I’m going to walk into Suspense and ultimately stop your “big time” comeback right before it even starts, and I have my reasons. Not only because it’s my first match too and losing would definitely make me look bad, not because you used the over used cliché of “rasslin’s in mah blood”….”
He says in his best redneck accent.
“……and not even because you sound like some sick ass freak who enjoys hurting people way to much!”
Awesome looks around and the tips his hand to his side and cups one side of his mouth as if he were whispering to the fans.
“Remember what I said about the domestic violence charges……watch this guy America.”
Steve winks as he moves his hand.
“I’m not even going to kick your ass this Saturday because you have a stupid name…….”
He shakes his head.
“I’m going to beat your redneck ass, because you insulted my hair. And Larry, when you insult my hair…..Things. Get. Personal. And if you didn’t know that by now….prepare to be Awesomely Informed!”
Static.