Post by Steve Awesome on Apr 8, 2012 2:48:45 GMT -6
NEW FROM STRAIGHT TO DVD FILMS!
Its…..
DRAGON MASTER!
Starring…..
Multiple time world champion Steve Awesome!
Cut to Steve Awesome stand in a karate pose and overly flexing while he does it and he delivers his lines in a way that makes Keanu seem like Daniel Day-Lewis.
“I…..Am…..the Dragon Master…..”
Steve smiles and winks into the camera while running a palm through his lucious black hair.
Also starring…….
Fat Val Kimmer as “The Evil Lord Sausage!”
Cut to fat Val Kimmer holding some kind of orb in his hand.
“With this I can rule the world!”
Steve as the Dragon Master runs onto the screen still flexing. He gets into his pose.
“Not if I can help it.”
Steve smiles and winks into the camera while running a palm through his luscious black hair. Fat Val Kimmer balls up his fists.
“Then we must fight!”
“I…Am……totally not afraid to fight you.”
Steve smiles and winks into the camera while running a palm through his luscious black hair. Fat Val Kimmer starts yelling and runs after Steve meanwhile Steve does the exact same thing and once they collide the screen explodes and the title graphic for Dragon Master shows up on the screen.
“Coming straight to DVD!”
“OH YEAHHHHHH!”
We open on a very celebratory Steve Awesome.
“Did you see it? My kick ass new movie trailer? Sure it’s a straight to dvd release but hey who cares man, I get to work with Val Kimmer…that guy was huge in the nineties. And besides, I know once the world sees how awesome I do as the lead role in this movie they’ll be knocking on my door, begging me to show george clooney what its like to be a sexy oscar winner. I’m going to be so huge in Hollywood. I even already adopted my first African child. Her name is Shoelace and she likes Dora the Explorer.”
Steve takes a sigh of releafe and a satisfied nod.
“Yup, movie career is booming. And it all went without a hitch…..well….I did have that one tiny little slip.
``````````````````````````````````````````````````
Cut to Steve walking into a room with some suits.
“Steve thanks for agreeing to be in our movie. Please meet your co-star Jim Belushi….”
Jim walks up and offers his hand to Steve for a handshake.
Jim: Hey Steve….it’s gonna be great to work with you and-”
Cut to the outside of the building surrounded by ambulances.
`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
……but I rebounded nicely. The judge even let me off the hook after I had him watch an episode of According to Jim. Basically, what I’m trying to say right now is I’m doing good right now. I’m excited for the next phase in my life and I don’t need NCW anymore. But of course there is just one tiny bit of unfinished business to attend too. My pesky little contract that says I still have to wrestle if I am physically able. And of course to a more greater extent, little Andrew Jacobsen. My….son.”
Steve smirks.
“This is the man who stands between me and the one thing that I actually have left to fight for….basically my freedom from this ball and chain I call a profession ….and the kid wonders if I’m actually going to show up this Sunday……pfft please…Is the sky blue? Is grass green? Is water wet, Andrew? The question isn’t if…..I’ts really “how bad am I going to beat your sorry virginal, Dudley do right, boy scout ass all over that entire arena? That’s the way I always wanted to go out…a blaze of glory….one last good old fashion, passionate ass whoopin for old time sakes. And then…..
He pauses.
“…and then Andrew……then I’m gone. And I know how much you don’t want that to happen. From a fan standpoint, and from a wrestler on the under card standpoint. And I get that…I really do…..but the thing that your not realizing is that after I beat you on Sunday…then I’ll be gone. Gone for good. Never to return. And that means that then it will be your turn to step out from underneath my shadow and be the next guy who the fans pay there money to see. Just like I’ve been teaching you all this time Andrew. I can’t hold your hand forever…..at some point you had to know that I’d be kicking you out of the nest baby bird…..
Steve nods into the camera.
“Now it’s time to fly.”
He throws them up.
“Deuces.”
Its…..
DRAGON MASTER!
Starring…..
Multiple time world champion Steve Awesome!
Cut to Steve Awesome stand in a karate pose and overly flexing while he does it and he delivers his lines in a way that makes Keanu seem like Daniel Day-Lewis.
“I…..Am…..the Dragon Master…..”
Steve smiles and winks into the camera while running a palm through his lucious black hair.
Also starring…….
Fat Val Kimmer as “The Evil Lord Sausage!”
Cut to fat Val Kimmer holding some kind of orb in his hand.
“With this I can rule the world!”
Steve as the Dragon Master runs onto the screen still flexing. He gets into his pose.
“Not if I can help it.”
Steve smiles and winks into the camera while running a palm through his luscious black hair. Fat Val Kimmer balls up his fists.
“Then we must fight!”
“I…Am……totally not afraid to fight you.”
Steve smiles and winks into the camera while running a palm through his luscious black hair. Fat Val Kimmer starts yelling and runs after Steve meanwhile Steve does the exact same thing and once they collide the screen explodes and the title graphic for Dragon Master shows up on the screen.
“Coming straight to DVD!”
“OH YEAHHHHHH!”
We open on a very celebratory Steve Awesome.
“Did you see it? My kick ass new movie trailer? Sure it’s a straight to dvd release but hey who cares man, I get to work with Val Kimmer…that guy was huge in the nineties. And besides, I know once the world sees how awesome I do as the lead role in this movie they’ll be knocking on my door, begging me to show george clooney what its like to be a sexy oscar winner. I’m going to be so huge in Hollywood. I even already adopted my first African child. Her name is Shoelace and she likes Dora the Explorer.”
Steve takes a sigh of releafe and a satisfied nod.
“Yup, movie career is booming. And it all went without a hitch…..well….I did have that one tiny little slip.
``````````````````````````````````````````````````
Cut to Steve walking into a room with some suits.
“Steve thanks for agreeing to be in our movie. Please meet your co-star Jim Belushi….”
Jim walks up and offers his hand to Steve for a handshake.
Jim: Hey Steve….it’s gonna be great to work with you and-”
Cut to the outside of the building surrounded by ambulances.
`````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
……but I rebounded nicely. The judge even let me off the hook after I had him watch an episode of According to Jim. Basically, what I’m trying to say right now is I’m doing good right now. I’m excited for the next phase in my life and I don’t need NCW anymore. But of course there is just one tiny bit of unfinished business to attend too. My pesky little contract that says I still have to wrestle if I am physically able. And of course to a more greater extent, little Andrew Jacobsen. My….son.”
Steve smirks.
“This is the man who stands between me and the one thing that I actually have left to fight for….basically my freedom from this ball and chain I call a profession ….and the kid wonders if I’m actually going to show up this Sunday……pfft please…Is the sky blue? Is grass green? Is water wet, Andrew? The question isn’t if…..I’ts really “how bad am I going to beat your sorry virginal, Dudley do right, boy scout ass all over that entire arena? That’s the way I always wanted to go out…a blaze of glory….one last good old fashion, passionate ass whoopin for old time sakes. And then…..
He pauses.
“…and then Andrew……then I’m gone. And I know how much you don’t want that to happen. From a fan standpoint, and from a wrestler on the under card standpoint. And I get that…I really do…..but the thing that your not realizing is that after I beat you on Sunday…then I’ll be gone. Gone for good. Never to return. And that means that then it will be your turn to step out from underneath my shadow and be the next guy who the fans pay there money to see. Just like I’ve been teaching you all this time Andrew. I can’t hold your hand forever…..at some point you had to know that I’d be kicking you out of the nest baby bird…..
Steve nods into the camera.
“Now it’s time to fly.”
He throws them up.
“Deuces.”
