Post by Brad Kane on Apr 14, 2012 18:22:42 GMT -6
Have you ever been haunted when you close your eyes and all you can see in a single image when you sleep?
When I try to sleep that's what I see. Her face haunting me like a ghost that might've roamed this new home I bought in the midwest. After the divorce and getting custody of the kids, I've moved us to Iowa. To get away from her. Still when I close my eyes that's what I see. This...
God it's horrible. I wish this pain would end. I look at my kids right now on Skype as I'm stuck on the road this weekend. She bled me dry. Wrestling is all I know and this is why I'm sitting in a hotel room. They're all waving at me, smiling at me, and trying to bring my mood up from what I'm currently at. I close my eyes again. Why did I close them.
All the great times before the bad happened. I wish I could remember but all I see are the bad. The fighting, the yelling, and her telling me that's it over between us. Twenty years of being together. The only woman I ever loved left me because she couldn't keep her clothes on for any man that passed by her. She was everything to me. I lived my life for her. I try to speak to my children but the words don't come out. So I close my eyes again. Instead of viewing her as the Goddess that I treated her as I'm able to smile when I think of her future.
When she pisses everything away and wants to crawl back to me to save her, I'll look down on her and whisper no. The Brad Kane that cared about his wife is gone. That part of him died upon realizing that she wasn't good for me anymore. No. She controlled me too much. Decided on how I could live my life. I've never been free to do what I want. My freedom is still restricted with the children but now I can live my life how I've wanted to.
Thanks to Megan, I can smile at my children now, tell them how much I love them before closing Skype. Sometimes we're never really able to realize our full potential until a vital part of life is missing. Now I can soar. I can spread my wings and fly how I was really meant to. A part of me will always love Megan but not now. Not anymore and not ever. The new verse of my life begins now and it won't be the same as the first. This is how I see her now.
Dead.
When I try to sleep that's what I see. Her face haunting me like a ghost that might've roamed this new home I bought in the midwest. After the divorce and getting custody of the kids, I've moved us to Iowa. To get away from her. Still when I close my eyes that's what I see. This...
God it's horrible. I wish this pain would end. I look at my kids right now on Skype as I'm stuck on the road this weekend. She bled me dry. Wrestling is all I know and this is why I'm sitting in a hotel room. They're all waving at me, smiling at me, and trying to bring my mood up from what I'm currently at. I close my eyes again. Why did I close them.
All the great times before the bad happened. I wish I could remember but all I see are the bad. The fighting, the yelling, and her telling me that's it over between us. Twenty years of being together. The only woman I ever loved left me because she couldn't keep her clothes on for any man that passed by her. She was everything to me. I lived my life for her. I try to speak to my children but the words don't come out. So I close my eyes again. Instead of viewing her as the Goddess that I treated her as I'm able to smile when I think of her future.
When she pisses everything away and wants to crawl back to me to save her, I'll look down on her and whisper no. The Brad Kane that cared about his wife is gone. That part of him died upon realizing that she wasn't good for me anymore. No. She controlled me too much. Decided on how I could live my life. I've never been free to do what I want. My freedom is still restricted with the children but now I can live my life how I've wanted to.
Thanks to Megan, I can smile at my children now, tell them how much I love them before closing Skype. Sometimes we're never really able to realize our full potential until a vital part of life is missing. Now I can soar. I can spread my wings and fly how I was really meant to. A part of me will always love Megan but not now. Not anymore and not ever. The new verse of my life begins now and it won't be the same as the first. This is how I see her now.
Dead.