Post by Clint Renner on May 7, 2012 14:02:41 GMT -6
The scene opens up, as the camera is focused on the helmet of Bukkake Man, as out of focus of the camera, a figure can be seen, hitting a punching bag, throwing heavy handed blows, and kicks too it, Suddenly, the figure grabs the heavy bag and lets out a scream, before gripping it tightly and turning his hips, before he unhinges the bag, and proceeds to hit a side Belly to Belly throw on it.
The camera begins to zoom in, to reveal Clint Renner, or the man once known as Craven Moorehead, and more famously Bukkake Man, he reaches down to a nearby duffel bag, and pulls a bottle out, before squirting the water into his mouth, before looking over at the helmet sitting on the bench, he picks it up, and goes to put the Helmet on, but suddenly, he let's it drop out of his hand, down to the ground, where it bounces around for a few moments, before pulling off his green tank-top, revealing his ripped and heavily tattooed body.
Ash McPhee, the lovable Redneck, with a big heart, and just about as big of a belly to match, So this is how nCw punishes me, for breaking their unsung law, for throwing down that stupid Helmet, while simply running around and shaking the ropes, and limiting my offensive output to nothing but dropkicks, and hitting a leg-drop.
I'm sorry but that crap doesn't fly with me, the paychecks aren't big enough, I should be fighting in a real fighting league, not parading around here, with people who have no business calling themselves professional fighters.
I mean what can you do McPhee? You think just because you can drink a lot of beer, get drunk, hit that old ass television that is in your trailer to fix the reception, and because you gotten into a tussle or two with one of your coal miner buddies, when the town whore, wouldn't give you the time of the day, that you can match up against me.
I'm a former Division I All American, what are you exactly, a guy who got kicked in the stomach by Spike Kane, and **** yourself, when he compressed that giant stomach of yours, before sending you off to whatever backwater place you're from.
So tell me Ash, do you even have a back story? Let me guess, you grew up in a poor trailer park, where you rode your back, with the busted up training wheels around the circle known as the ****hole you lived in, Let me also guess, you went to your High School Prom, with your cousin and you ultimately decided against going, to drink moonshine and proceed to lose your virginity to your first cousin?
You know what I was going in High School? I was throwing kids around on the mat, and getting my own scholarship to The Ohio State University, did you even manage to make it to college, or out of High School McPhee? My guess is not.
But we all make mistakes, mine was not going to the Olympics, despite having the talent to do so, and decided to try to get a bigger payday, They set me up with some goofy purple hair idiot, who was the size of my leg, if I wasn't trying to get the payday, and receive a nice paycheck, i would of threw that Purple hair midget all over the place, I would of twisted his little frame, and saved us all for him, giving me this stupid gimmick...
Seriously, Bukkake Man?
Don't they know, I'm American, I don't speak Japanese, not only that I'm Clint Renner, two time division I wrestling champion out of The Ohio State University, I don't share women, thru they didn't seem to complain too much that I indeed tasted great in their mouths, at-least they Canadian got something right.
But I'm sure your best ammo will be, to call me Bukkake Man, tell me to make you laugh, I'm sure you're try to get a chuckle out for yourself, while you rest that MGD can off that over sized belly, but Ash, there will be no laughing, not for you anyways, When I take that over sized frame of yours, and tear the fat from your fresh, and then make Bacon out of it.
There will not be any rope shaking, any pointing and yelling you, or a dropkick to be seen.
It's just going to be me, making you my bitch.
And Sunday, Guess What Ash....ash, what a bitch name too..but fitting.
Because I'm going to make you squeal like the little piggy you are.
SQUEAL!!!
The camera begins to zoom in, to reveal Clint Renner, or the man once known as Craven Moorehead, and more famously Bukkake Man, he reaches down to a nearby duffel bag, and pulls a bottle out, before squirting the water into his mouth, before looking over at the helmet sitting on the bench, he picks it up, and goes to put the Helmet on, but suddenly, he let's it drop out of his hand, down to the ground, where it bounces around for a few moments, before pulling off his green tank-top, revealing his ripped and heavily tattooed body.
Ash McPhee, the lovable Redneck, with a big heart, and just about as big of a belly to match, So this is how nCw punishes me, for breaking their unsung law, for throwing down that stupid Helmet, while simply running around and shaking the ropes, and limiting my offensive output to nothing but dropkicks, and hitting a leg-drop.
I'm sorry but that crap doesn't fly with me, the paychecks aren't big enough, I should be fighting in a real fighting league, not parading around here, with people who have no business calling themselves professional fighters.
I mean what can you do McPhee? You think just because you can drink a lot of beer, get drunk, hit that old ass television that is in your trailer to fix the reception, and because you gotten into a tussle or two with one of your coal miner buddies, when the town whore, wouldn't give you the time of the day, that you can match up against me.
I'm a former Division I All American, what are you exactly, a guy who got kicked in the stomach by Spike Kane, and **** yourself, when he compressed that giant stomach of yours, before sending you off to whatever backwater place you're from.
So tell me Ash, do you even have a back story? Let me guess, you grew up in a poor trailer park, where you rode your back, with the busted up training wheels around the circle known as the ****hole you lived in, Let me also guess, you went to your High School Prom, with your cousin and you ultimately decided against going, to drink moonshine and proceed to lose your virginity to your first cousin?
You know what I was going in High School? I was throwing kids around on the mat, and getting my own scholarship to The Ohio State University, did you even manage to make it to college, or out of High School McPhee? My guess is not.
But we all make mistakes, mine was not going to the Olympics, despite having the talent to do so, and decided to try to get a bigger payday, They set me up with some goofy purple hair idiot, who was the size of my leg, if I wasn't trying to get the payday, and receive a nice paycheck, i would of threw that Purple hair midget all over the place, I would of twisted his little frame, and saved us all for him, giving me this stupid gimmick...
Seriously, Bukkake Man?
Don't they know, I'm American, I don't speak Japanese, not only that I'm Clint Renner, two time division I wrestling champion out of The Ohio State University, I don't share women, thru they didn't seem to complain too much that I indeed tasted great in their mouths, at-least they Canadian got something right.
But I'm sure your best ammo will be, to call me Bukkake Man, tell me to make you laugh, I'm sure you're try to get a chuckle out for yourself, while you rest that MGD can off that over sized belly, but Ash, there will be no laughing, not for you anyways, When I take that over sized frame of yours, and tear the fat from your fresh, and then make Bacon out of it.
There will not be any rope shaking, any pointing and yelling you, or a dropkick to be seen.
It's just going to be me, making you my bitch.
And Sunday, Guess What Ash....ash, what a bitch name too..but fitting.
Because I'm going to make you squeal like the little piggy you are.
SQUEAL!!!
