Post by Simon Daye on May 11, 2012 19:45:33 GMT -6
[Simon walks into the Gib House, holding the side of his face in pain from the massive right hand he took from Gib earlier. He heads over to the fridge and grabs a bottle of water out, but something catches his ear. He hears the sound of metal clanking together, sounds of somebody struggling and breathing heavily and he can’t help but wet his curiosity. Simon heads towards the fabled Famularo basement and opens the door to peek inside.]
Simon: Hot Damn.
[Zelda stands over the weights in the room, sweating and breathing heavily, but with an intense look on her face. Simon works his eyes up her body, first a glimpse of the incredibly small black shorts with the white trimming and then the bright lime green sports bra being used as a top, it’s captivating to the young man. She pulls her arms behind her head and stretches to the side before getting back to work and Simon can’t help but see her midriff and his jaw drops in approval.]
Simon: SHHHH....IT!
[Simon’s eye franticly dart around the room as that came out a bit too loud. Zelda turns around and notices him, and smiles.]
Zelda: Hey Simon. Is Daddy still in that tree?
Simon: Uhh, no... not really.
Zelda: Whoa... that looks painful.
[Zelda walks towards Simon, he has no idea what she is talking about, but gladly lets her come closer either way. She sticks out her hand and touches his cheek, and he flinches and pulls back in pain.]
Simon: OUCH! What the... what is it?!
Zelda: You got a cut under your eye and it’s got a nasty lookin’ bruise forming. Looks like it hurts.
Simon: What tipped that off, my screaming in intense pain?
Zelda: Well what happened? Did Daddy hit you again?
Simon: He slapped me, but that was it...
Zelda: Wow, he did that with just a slap? You must’ve really got under his skin. What dumb thing did you say this time? “Meatball subs suck”?
Simon: Yeah right... I’m not that stupid, all I said was... uhh... nothing.
Zelda: Fine then, don’t tell me, jerkface.
[Zelda crosses her arms over her chest and turns her back to Simon, but is obviously just playing, because before he can even say anything, she quickly spins back around with a big smile on her face. She touches his cheek again, causing him again to flinch in pain and really seems to be enjoying it.]
Zelda: We need to get that cleaned up... come with me.
[Zelda grabs Simon by the hand and pulls him up the stairs and through the house until they reach the bathroom, she shoves him inside and forces him to sit on the edge of the tub. She grabs some Q-Tips and begins looking around in some drawers.]
Zelda: Now where did he leave that rubbing alcohol... he better not have mistaken it for drinking alcohol again...
Simon: He really did that?
Zelda: It was a stressful night. Darn it. I’m going to go check the upstairs bathroom, you stay right there, and don’t let Daddy beat you up any worse.
[Zelda heads out of the room, and heads to look for the goods, leaving Simon there alone. The camera pans in close and Simon looks into it, ready.]
Simon: So it’s finally coming down to this eh? After what you guys did to me and Gibby at Sovereign, the number one seeds in this tournament came out on top, just to get one more shot at you, just to get a shot at those belts. Finally, we proved ourselves against every ethnicity you could throw at us. It feels good to be here, to get one more shot at you comically mismatched ethnic stereotypes. Get another chance at you, for the good old US of A.
I bet you watched every match in this tournament hoping that somebody would knock us off before we got here didn’t you? You sat back and hoped that the team that you screwed in the “preview” match a month ago wouldn’t fight back and bite you in the but, but like every other country in this tournament you severely underestimated what two pissed off American’s can accomplish together. We’re not fighting just for the beating you gave us last month, we’re not just fighting for the tag team titles, we’re fighting for the pride and honor of every little American child sitting in those stands. They need to know that whenever the US wants, we can flex our muscles and curb stomp some foreigner who annoys us, just like Team America did to those international **** heads.
You two disgust me.... Bushido and your tentacle porn... El Dragon with your lawnmower... you two aren’t worthy of saying you fight for honor or what is just in this world. Both of you have lost your way and need to get knocked back down to reality by the right hand of Amerca. You aren’t real champions, you’re just two people holding those belts before a real team of true blue american badasses... Please no Limp Biskit, come to take those belts and bring them back home. Just think about it, your tournament was nothing to us, we breezed through it, your attempts to hold us away from the belts failed, and now here we are knocking on your door with our nuclear fueled wrath and we’re ready to drop the bomb on your world, taking your titles from your ash covered hands.
It’s the American way, when there is something we want, be it oil or wrestling championship gold, we’re going to storm into a country, whip our cocks out and start pecker slapping all the dirty little natives scurrying around until we get it. There isn’t anything you can do to stop Uncle Sam from shoving his proverbial apple pie in your faces. This is a fight you wanted, a fight you started when you tried to embarrass us at Sovereign. You would have thought with the whole Alamo and Pearl Harbor thing that you’d learn to stop pissing off gun toting American freedom fighters, but apparently you’re too dumb to realize you don’t wake the sleeping giant.
You don’t know what it’s like fighting for Freedom, you don’t know even know what the word means, you’re just stuck on your hypocritical views of being all about honor and forget that to have honor you must stand up and fight for something. Just like me and Gibby are doing. The gold isn’t what is on our mind, it’s the pride and respect we have for our country. What’s on the line is honor and justice, freedom and equality, fair play and the rights of all humans..
No matter what it takes... we’ll right this wrong.
We’ll end your reign of terror.
We’ll crush your axis of evil.
We’ll obliterate your injustice.
If it’s the last thing we do... we’ll liberate those titles from you.
[Simon nods his head and smiles into the camera, just as Zelda comes walking back into the room. She has the bottle of alcohol and gets the cotton swabs ready after pouring a cap full. Simon looks at her uneasily as she comes walking towards him with it in her hand. She barely touches his cheek and he pulls away.]
Simon: That stings!
Zelda: Don’t be a baby... it needs to be cleaned, you have no idea where Daddy’s hands have been.
Simon: Oh god! Why did you put that thought in my head!
Zelda: Just sit still you big baby. **laughs**
[Zelda lounges at him trying to clean his wound but Simon dodges to the left, she readjusts and goes left but he quickly goes right holding her hand away from his face. She draws in closer and tries again.]
Zelda: Come on, it doens’t sting that much.
Simon: I’m sure it does.... get away from me with that thing.
Zelda: Stay still, or I’m going to shove it in your eye.
Simon: Fine do that... but stay away from that cut.
Zelda: Stope wiggling!
[Zelda pushes Simon back and he falls from the edge of the bathtub that he was using as a seat and falls backwards into the tub and a side effect he grabs Zelda trying to keep his balance and accidentally pulls her in with him as well with her on top of him, they both begin to laugh, before Zelda shoves the alcohol soaked cotton ball onto Simon’s sore.]
Zelda: There! Wasn’t so bad.
Simon: Why does it burn!?
Zelda: Oh hush, that didn’t hurt.
**cough**
[Zelda and Simon quickly turn their heads to see Gib standing at the door with his arms crossed in front of him glaring at them. Zelda laughs and pulls away as she stands up. Simon remains in the tub, frozen with terror.]
Simon: This isn’t what it...
Gib: I know it isn’t... because it would be really stupid of a certain somebody to be putting moves on another certain somebody while a third party is in his room cleaning his shotgun.
Simon: **confused** are you talking about....
Gib: Yes.
[Simon quickly climbs out of the tub.]
Simon: She was just cleaning this cut and I fell...
Gib: That cut from where I slapped you earlier? God, how weak are you boy? I once hit Adam Knite with that backhand and he came back and made me do the dishes, and you’re crying to my daughter to fix your owwie? Just when I think that you’re toughening up...
Simon: It won’t happen again.
Gib: Make sure it doesn’t. I need you spitting nails in our match against the internationals.
Simon: Can do, It’ll take something far worse than this cut to make me lose sight of those belts.
Gib: No. I meant literally I meant I need you spitting nails. Come here, we need to see how many we can fit in that mouth.
Simon: Wait... what... really?
Gib: I said hurry up! Come on boy there is no time to waste in this training we need to get ready because I refuse to lose thi smatch. If that means putting hundreds of rusty nails in your mouth for the greater good, then I’ll do it.
Simon: But I don’t want to put rusty nails in my mouth...
[It’s too late as Gib grabs Simon and pulls him away from the giggling Zelda, she waves at her father and laughs at Simon’s misfortunes some more before we fade to black.]
Simon: Hot Damn.
[Zelda stands over the weights in the room, sweating and breathing heavily, but with an intense look on her face. Simon works his eyes up her body, first a glimpse of the incredibly small black shorts with the white trimming and then the bright lime green sports bra being used as a top, it’s captivating to the young man. She pulls her arms behind her head and stretches to the side before getting back to work and Simon can’t help but see her midriff and his jaw drops in approval.]
Simon: SHHHH....IT!
[Simon’s eye franticly dart around the room as that came out a bit too loud. Zelda turns around and notices him, and smiles.]
Zelda: Hey Simon. Is Daddy still in that tree?
Simon: Uhh, no... not really.
Zelda: Whoa... that looks painful.
[Zelda walks towards Simon, he has no idea what she is talking about, but gladly lets her come closer either way. She sticks out her hand and touches his cheek, and he flinches and pulls back in pain.]
Simon: OUCH! What the... what is it?!
Zelda: You got a cut under your eye and it’s got a nasty lookin’ bruise forming. Looks like it hurts.
Simon: What tipped that off, my screaming in intense pain?
Zelda: Well what happened? Did Daddy hit you again?
Simon: He slapped me, but that was it...
Zelda: Wow, he did that with just a slap? You must’ve really got under his skin. What dumb thing did you say this time? “Meatball subs suck”?
Simon: Yeah right... I’m not that stupid, all I said was... uhh... nothing.
Zelda: Fine then, don’t tell me, jerkface.
[Zelda crosses her arms over her chest and turns her back to Simon, but is obviously just playing, because before he can even say anything, she quickly spins back around with a big smile on her face. She touches his cheek again, causing him again to flinch in pain and really seems to be enjoying it.]
Zelda: We need to get that cleaned up... come with me.
[Zelda grabs Simon by the hand and pulls him up the stairs and through the house until they reach the bathroom, she shoves him inside and forces him to sit on the edge of the tub. She grabs some Q-Tips and begins looking around in some drawers.]
Zelda: Now where did he leave that rubbing alcohol... he better not have mistaken it for drinking alcohol again...
Simon: He really did that?
Zelda: It was a stressful night. Darn it. I’m going to go check the upstairs bathroom, you stay right there, and don’t let Daddy beat you up any worse.
[Zelda heads out of the room, and heads to look for the goods, leaving Simon there alone. The camera pans in close and Simon looks into it, ready.]
Simon: So it’s finally coming down to this eh? After what you guys did to me and Gibby at Sovereign, the number one seeds in this tournament came out on top, just to get one more shot at you, just to get a shot at those belts. Finally, we proved ourselves against every ethnicity you could throw at us. It feels good to be here, to get one more shot at you comically mismatched ethnic stereotypes. Get another chance at you, for the good old US of A.
I bet you watched every match in this tournament hoping that somebody would knock us off before we got here didn’t you? You sat back and hoped that the team that you screwed in the “preview” match a month ago wouldn’t fight back and bite you in the but, but like every other country in this tournament you severely underestimated what two pissed off American’s can accomplish together. We’re not fighting just for the beating you gave us last month, we’re not just fighting for the tag team titles, we’re fighting for the pride and honor of every little American child sitting in those stands. They need to know that whenever the US wants, we can flex our muscles and curb stomp some foreigner who annoys us, just like Team America did to those international **** heads.
You two disgust me.... Bushido and your tentacle porn... El Dragon with your lawnmower... you two aren’t worthy of saying you fight for honor or what is just in this world. Both of you have lost your way and need to get knocked back down to reality by the right hand of Amerca. You aren’t real champions, you’re just two people holding those belts before a real team of true blue american badasses... Please no Limp Biskit, come to take those belts and bring them back home. Just think about it, your tournament was nothing to us, we breezed through it, your attempts to hold us away from the belts failed, and now here we are knocking on your door with our nuclear fueled wrath and we’re ready to drop the bomb on your world, taking your titles from your ash covered hands.
It’s the American way, when there is something we want, be it oil or wrestling championship gold, we’re going to storm into a country, whip our cocks out and start pecker slapping all the dirty little natives scurrying around until we get it. There isn’t anything you can do to stop Uncle Sam from shoving his proverbial apple pie in your faces. This is a fight you wanted, a fight you started when you tried to embarrass us at Sovereign. You would have thought with the whole Alamo and Pearl Harbor thing that you’d learn to stop pissing off gun toting American freedom fighters, but apparently you’re too dumb to realize you don’t wake the sleeping giant.
You don’t know what it’s like fighting for Freedom, you don’t know even know what the word means, you’re just stuck on your hypocritical views of being all about honor and forget that to have honor you must stand up and fight for something. Just like me and Gibby are doing. The gold isn’t what is on our mind, it’s the pride and respect we have for our country. What’s on the line is honor and justice, freedom and equality, fair play and the rights of all humans..
No matter what it takes... we’ll right this wrong.
We’ll end your reign of terror.
We’ll crush your axis of evil.
We’ll obliterate your injustice.
If it’s the last thing we do... we’ll liberate those titles from you.
[Simon nods his head and smiles into the camera, just as Zelda comes walking back into the room. She has the bottle of alcohol and gets the cotton swabs ready after pouring a cap full. Simon looks at her uneasily as she comes walking towards him with it in her hand. She barely touches his cheek and he pulls away.]
Simon: That stings!
Zelda: Don’t be a baby... it needs to be cleaned, you have no idea where Daddy’s hands have been.
Simon: Oh god! Why did you put that thought in my head!
Zelda: Just sit still you big baby. **laughs**
[Zelda lounges at him trying to clean his wound but Simon dodges to the left, she readjusts and goes left but he quickly goes right holding her hand away from his face. She draws in closer and tries again.]
Zelda: Come on, it doens’t sting that much.
Simon: I’m sure it does.... get away from me with that thing.
Zelda: Stay still, or I’m going to shove it in your eye.
Simon: Fine do that... but stay away from that cut.
Zelda: Stope wiggling!
[Zelda pushes Simon back and he falls from the edge of the bathtub that he was using as a seat and falls backwards into the tub and a side effect he grabs Zelda trying to keep his balance and accidentally pulls her in with him as well with her on top of him, they both begin to laugh, before Zelda shoves the alcohol soaked cotton ball onto Simon’s sore.]
Zelda: There! Wasn’t so bad.
Simon: Why does it burn!?
Zelda: Oh hush, that didn’t hurt.
**cough**
[Zelda and Simon quickly turn their heads to see Gib standing at the door with his arms crossed in front of him glaring at them. Zelda laughs and pulls away as she stands up. Simon remains in the tub, frozen with terror.]
Simon: This isn’t what it...
Gib: I know it isn’t... because it would be really stupid of a certain somebody to be putting moves on another certain somebody while a third party is in his room cleaning his shotgun.
Simon: **confused** are you talking about....
Gib: Yes.
[Simon quickly climbs out of the tub.]
Simon: She was just cleaning this cut and I fell...
Gib: That cut from where I slapped you earlier? God, how weak are you boy? I once hit Adam Knite with that backhand and he came back and made me do the dishes, and you’re crying to my daughter to fix your owwie? Just when I think that you’re toughening up...
Simon: It won’t happen again.
Gib: Make sure it doesn’t. I need you spitting nails in our match against the internationals.
Simon: Can do, It’ll take something far worse than this cut to make me lose sight of those belts.
Gib: No. I meant literally I meant I need you spitting nails. Come here, we need to see how many we can fit in that mouth.
Simon: Wait... what... really?
Gib: I said hurry up! Come on boy there is no time to waste in this training we need to get ready because I refuse to lose thi smatch. If that means putting hundreds of rusty nails in your mouth for the greater good, then I’ll do it.
Simon: But I don’t want to put rusty nails in my mouth...
[It’s too late as Gib grabs Simon and pulls him away from the giggling Zelda, she waves at her father and laughs at Simon’s misfortunes some more before we fade to black.]
