Post by Steve Awesome on Jun 7, 2012 21:57:34 GMT -6
We open up to find Steve Awesome, the new Starlets GM, dressed in the brand new Steve Awesome “Starlet GM” t-shirt. (A big gold star with Steve flashing a cheesy grin in the middle of it with the word’s Starlet GM on the top and bottom of the star), walking down the hallways of NCW Corporate alongside his on again off again personal lackey Jayson Matthews sans any rapper gear. Just his regular old goofy self carrying a huge stack of boxes and having a hard time of it.
“I think I’m going to love being the Starlet GM dude. I totally feel like Tom Hanks in A league of their own! And also…. Did you see the rack on Aysson Gardner? Spike Kane better never go out of town for business because I’d be SO there. You know what I’m saying dude?”
Steve puts his free hand out for a high five. After a few daunting moments of dangling in the air unfived, Steve starts to get a little irritated. Completely disregarding the fact that Jayson was carrying about six or seven boxes of stuff marked “Steve’s business necessities.”
“Dude….don’t leave me hanging here…..”
Jayson struggles to find a way to juggle all the boxes and get one hand free to commemorate Steve’s sexist joke.
“Dude what do you have in all these boxes?”
Steve shrugs.
“Printer paper. Gotta be prepared to print stuff bro. That’s office strategy number one!”
Jayson starts to say something, but Steve ignores him and takes a couple extra steps forward into his new office. Complete with a construction crew going Jericho on the walls and making a whole lot of noise and a seemingly confused and very agitated Kelly Knite. Steve doesn’t seem to notice the glare in her eyes and approaches her with a friendly smile.
“Oh hey Kels…or should I say office neighbor! I know I‘m supposed to be your personal assistant and everything, but while my shoulder is braced up like this I can‘t do much heavy lifting, but my man Jayson here can take care of anything you need.”
Jayson finally makes into the room and drops the stack of boxes everywhere to come running up to where Steve and Kelly were talking to each other.
“Didn’t you used to be a rapper or something?”
Jayson shrugs.
“I gave up the mic for my old job as personal lackey and comic relief for Steve promos. But I still got the streets flowing within baby boo.”
Kelly rolls her eyes.
“And when Steve said anything he meant…..anything…..if you catch my-”
*PIMPSLAP’D!*
Jayson stumbles backward and out of her way as Kelly walks past a few construction guys carrying in giant boxes and walks up to Steve talking to the foreman.
“Okay, put the mud pit over there and the pole over there. And can we get a shag carpet in here? Do they still do those? I like the way the shag feels on my bare feet. While were at it, can I get a shag chair….if I’m going to be pants less…..I don’t wanna chafe on the leather or anything…..”
Kelly makes her way over to them.
“What in the hell is going on in here?”
Steve spins around to talk to her.
“I’m just making a couple alterations to my office for maximum comfort. Everything is medically related to taking care of my shoulder. Doctor said I had to in order to come back to work. I have a doctors note I can show you.”
Another worker walks up and shows him some blue prints.
“Yeah, just knock that wall down and you can install the bar over there.”
Kelly interjects.
“Um….you’re not knocking any wall down.”
“Why not?”
“Because I said so!”
Steve puts his good arm on his hip and crosses his eyebrows.
“What do you own the place or something?”
“YES!”
She spins around and starts yelling at the workers.
“I WANT EVERYTHING THE WAY IT WAS BEFORE!
“Can I at least still have the bar?”
Steve says hopefully from behind the fuming owner of the company.
“NO!!!! I want this place looking the same as it did yesterday before I come back!
And with that Kelly storms out leaving Steve and his crew. They all stay silent for a few moments before the foreman speaks up.
“Do you want us to pack up or…..”
Steve shakes his head.
“Absolutely not. She isn’t the boss of me.”
The foreman takes off his hard hat and rubs the top of his head.
“Actually…..I think she is, holmes.”
Steve glares at him for a few seconds.
“Just do it! And hurry up and finish before she gets back. Once she see’s how awesome it all is, she’ll come around.”
Jayson Matthews walks up rubbing his cheek with an affectionate gaze on his face.
“I think I’m in love….”
Steve shakes his head.
"Been there.....she's really uptight and anal."
And Steve walks off leaving Jayson to think about what Steve just said.
“Score.”
Fade.
“I think I’m going to love being the Starlet GM dude. I totally feel like Tom Hanks in A league of their own! And also…. Did you see the rack on Aysson Gardner? Spike Kane better never go out of town for business because I’d be SO there. You know what I’m saying dude?”
Steve puts his free hand out for a high five. After a few daunting moments of dangling in the air unfived, Steve starts to get a little irritated. Completely disregarding the fact that Jayson was carrying about six or seven boxes of stuff marked “Steve’s business necessities.”
“Dude….don’t leave me hanging here…..”
Jayson struggles to find a way to juggle all the boxes and get one hand free to commemorate Steve’s sexist joke.
“Dude what do you have in all these boxes?”
Steve shrugs.
“Printer paper. Gotta be prepared to print stuff bro. That’s office strategy number one!”
Jayson starts to say something, but Steve ignores him and takes a couple extra steps forward into his new office. Complete with a construction crew going Jericho on the walls and making a whole lot of noise and a seemingly confused and very agitated Kelly Knite. Steve doesn’t seem to notice the glare in her eyes and approaches her with a friendly smile.
“Oh hey Kels…or should I say office neighbor! I know I‘m supposed to be your personal assistant and everything, but while my shoulder is braced up like this I can‘t do much heavy lifting, but my man Jayson here can take care of anything you need.”
Jayson finally makes into the room and drops the stack of boxes everywhere to come running up to where Steve and Kelly were talking to each other.
“Didn’t you used to be a rapper or something?”
Jayson shrugs.
“I gave up the mic for my old job as personal lackey and comic relief for Steve promos. But I still got the streets flowing within baby boo.”
Kelly rolls her eyes.
“And when Steve said anything he meant…..anything…..if you catch my-”
*PIMPSLAP’D!*
Jayson stumbles backward and out of her way as Kelly walks past a few construction guys carrying in giant boxes and walks up to Steve talking to the foreman.
“Okay, put the mud pit over there and the pole over there. And can we get a shag carpet in here? Do they still do those? I like the way the shag feels on my bare feet. While were at it, can I get a shag chair….if I’m going to be pants less…..I don’t wanna chafe on the leather or anything…..”
Kelly makes her way over to them.
“What in the hell is going on in here?”
Steve spins around to talk to her.
“I’m just making a couple alterations to my office for maximum comfort. Everything is medically related to taking care of my shoulder. Doctor said I had to in order to come back to work. I have a doctors note I can show you.”
Another worker walks up and shows him some blue prints.
“Yeah, just knock that wall down and you can install the bar over there.”
Kelly interjects.
“Um….you’re not knocking any wall down.”
“Why not?”
“Because I said so!”
Steve puts his good arm on his hip and crosses his eyebrows.
“What do you own the place or something?”
“YES!”
She spins around and starts yelling at the workers.
“I WANT EVERYTHING THE WAY IT WAS BEFORE!
“Can I at least still have the bar?”
Steve says hopefully from behind the fuming owner of the company.
“NO!!!! I want this place looking the same as it did yesterday before I come back!
And with that Kelly storms out leaving Steve and his crew. They all stay silent for a few moments before the foreman speaks up.
“Do you want us to pack up or…..”
Steve shakes his head.
“Absolutely not. She isn’t the boss of me.”
The foreman takes off his hard hat and rubs the top of his head.
“Actually…..I think she is, holmes.”
Steve glares at him for a few seconds.
“Just do it! And hurry up and finish before she gets back. Once she see’s how awesome it all is, she’ll come around.”
Jayson Matthews walks up rubbing his cheek with an affectionate gaze on his face.
“I think I’m in love….”
Steve shakes his head.
"Been there.....she's really uptight and anal."
And Steve walks off leaving Jayson to think about what Steve just said.
“Score.”
Fade.