Post by Curtis D. Kanyon on Jun 16, 2012 21:54:21 GMT -6
*We open in on Curtis D. Kanyon in his locker room, getting warmed up.*
Curtis: This Sunday, I show the world the new man I've become. I go out there and show Jackhammer why I am the archangel of NCW. Not...whatever it is he thinks I am. I know Jack is no flash in the pan, he's been here for years. One of Dirty Deals first big battles was with him and that loser Jason. I mean, does Jack really not remember me? Is he insane?
El Nacho Loco: SIIIIII!
Curtis: What?
*El Nacho Loco and Dinero Suave run into the locker room.*
El Nacho: Hola senior Curtis! It is I, the Mehican sensation, Eeeeel Naaachoooo Looocoooo!
Curtis: Are you serious?
Dinero: Yeah...he really wanted to do this.
El Nacho: Si! Our good friends...Obsidiano and GQ-o told us of your upcoming battle-o with Jackhammer! So we are here to help!
Curtis: How can you help Obs--I mean...El Nacho?
El Nacho: Simplo! Not only are we master wrestlers of amazing-ness! We are also...detectivos! We will get to the bottom of the case of the crazy Jackhammer!
Curtis: How do you mean?
El Nacho: I just faced him myself, and I must tell you, he's nuttier than a five bean cake! And one of those beens is jumping!
Curtis: What does that even mean?
Dinero: He comes up with things sometimes. Just roll with it.
Curtis: Okay, sure. Let's roll with it.
El Nacho: Did he not say that you are trying to be "down to earth" when you are obviously-o trying to be heavenly?
Curtis: Well, it's a recent and radical change, one I'm still trying to deal with myself. I can understand the mix up.
El Nacho: Did he not also say to you that you said to him that he doesn't know what a "pound of Guiness" is?
Curtis: That explanation was confusing, but yes, he did. I don't know why. I haven't even had a drink since I heard the Word. But he doesn't see me all day, I guess he wouldn't know that. But I definitely didn't say that, because even I don't know what a pound of Guiness is. Also Guiness sucks.
El Nacho: Si, it's all about Dos eckees. Anyway, that brings me to exhibito ocho-cinco, he thinks you want to get rid of the voice in your head!
Curtis: Well, I don't. The voice I heard, His voice, has changed my life. Why would I want to get rid of it? If anything, I want to empower it, and going out their and facing Jack, I'll do just that.
El Nacho: Well as far as we know, he's never been insane, and you know insane, so we are going to find out! We will gather the clues and tell you why Jackhammera is being a, as my people say, nut job.
Dinero: Do you know any real Spanish at all?
El Nacho: Don't joke like that, the Spanish raped our native people. This case obviously has you all worked up! Let us go find out what is wrong with Senior Hammer!
*El Nacho whips out a magnified glass and starts looking at the ground as he walks out. Dinero shrugs and walks after him.*
Curtis: Something ironic about those two looking to find out reasons for insanity. But then, who am I to judge, I've been there. If Jack's there now, I know how to handle it as well. Jack has come out and ridiculed me, told me I have no heart, told me so many other things I've heard before. But only now, with His voice guiding me, do I realize the error of my ways. Is this really truly how everyone has felt about me with the ways I was acting? Was I truly that much of a monster? I mean, I did a lot of bad things, and I suppose I was out to try and make myself be recognized as a monster. It's just, the hate and rage was almost like a blinder across my mind. I didn't realize all the trouble I was causing. It was like an angry amnesia. But now, now that I see the light, now that I recollect on all my past deeds, I realize how badly I truly needed salvation. How much I need to follow His words and save myself. Spread His word. I have to save myself by saving others.
*Curtis looks at the camera.*
Curtis: So it seems to be that the corruption around this place, the fire that NCW strikes in us all to make us want to compete, has tainted a lot of people. It seems that it has corrupted Jackhammer enough for him to go insane. Look at him! The past few weeks, he has rambled on and on, his words are all over the place. I doubt even he knows what it is he is saying. I know all too well what he is feeling. I've been there when my mind was seperated. But I am here to help my fellow wrestlers. I am here to help Jackhammer see the light! I will use the weapons with which the Lord has provided me to help save him from his demons!
*Curtis balls his fists up and shows them to the camera.*
Curtis: These weapons. Jack will know true pain, and he will turn to Him to save himself from this pain. It is my duty to lead people to His word, to take away their sins with pain, to give out His justice. Jack will know Him, because he must. Bless you Jackhammer, for you have sinned.
*The scene fades.*
*We re-open on Nacho and Dinero walking down the hall, Nacho searching for a clue. He opens a door and we see Ebony and Ivory watching Cheech and Chong.*
El Nacho: Lets...go somewhere else for clues.
*The continue and happen upon Jackhammer's locker room. They go inside. Nacho starts going through Jackhammer's stuff.*
Dinero: Are you sure this is wise? You do remember this guy just kicked your ass last week, right?
El Nacho: We are detective-os! This is our birthright!
Dinero: Yeah...probably not, but okay.
*Dinero stands around as Nacho keeps riffling through his stuff. Nacho pulles out his magnified glass again and goes across the floor. He continues until he bumps into a leg!*
El Nacho: Uh-oh-o.
*He slowly stands up and looks up. Until he sees he's standing in front of...Senior Xtremo!*
Xtremo: Hola.
El Nacho: Oh thank goodness! It is only Mehican legend and senstionalo luchadore, Senior Xtremo-o!
Dinero: I think you can just say Xtremo...you know what, why am I helping?
Xtremo: What do you guys think you're doing?
El Nacho: We are detectiving as to why Jackhammer is going crazy.
Xtreme: Oh, I deduced that. I was wondering as to why you were doing it...without me!
*Xtremo pulls out a cape and cowl and puts it on, looking sort of like a bat man.*
Xtremo: For everyone knows I am the best detective-o in all of Mexico!
*Xtremo and El Nacho continue to look through Jackhammer's stuff as Dinero just shakes his head.*
Dinero: Are you serious!?
*Just then a toilet flushes. Everyone freezes and looks at each other. The faucet turns on.*
Dinero: Uh...run!
*All three men dart out of the room as Jackhammer emerges from the bathroom.*
Jackhammer: What happened to my stuff!
*The scene fades.*
Curtis: This Sunday, I show the world the new man I've become. I go out there and show Jackhammer why I am the archangel of NCW. Not...whatever it is he thinks I am. I know Jack is no flash in the pan, he's been here for years. One of Dirty Deals first big battles was with him and that loser Jason. I mean, does Jack really not remember me? Is he insane?
El Nacho Loco: SIIIIII!
Curtis: What?
*El Nacho Loco and Dinero Suave run into the locker room.*
El Nacho: Hola senior Curtis! It is I, the Mehican sensation, Eeeeel Naaachoooo Looocoooo!
Curtis: Are you serious?
Dinero: Yeah...he really wanted to do this.
El Nacho: Si! Our good friends...Obsidiano and GQ-o told us of your upcoming battle-o with Jackhammer! So we are here to help!
Curtis: How can you help Obs--I mean...El Nacho?
El Nacho: Simplo! Not only are we master wrestlers of amazing-ness! We are also...detectivos! We will get to the bottom of the case of the crazy Jackhammer!
Curtis: How do you mean?
El Nacho: I just faced him myself, and I must tell you, he's nuttier than a five bean cake! And one of those beens is jumping!
Curtis: What does that even mean?
Dinero: He comes up with things sometimes. Just roll with it.
Curtis: Okay, sure. Let's roll with it.
El Nacho: Did he not say that you are trying to be "down to earth" when you are obviously-o trying to be heavenly?
Curtis: Well, it's a recent and radical change, one I'm still trying to deal with myself. I can understand the mix up.
El Nacho: Did he not also say to you that you said to him that he doesn't know what a "pound of Guiness" is?
Curtis: That explanation was confusing, but yes, he did. I don't know why. I haven't even had a drink since I heard the Word. But he doesn't see me all day, I guess he wouldn't know that. But I definitely didn't say that, because even I don't know what a pound of Guiness is. Also Guiness sucks.
El Nacho: Si, it's all about Dos eckees. Anyway, that brings me to exhibito ocho-cinco, he thinks you want to get rid of the voice in your head!
Curtis: Well, I don't. The voice I heard, His voice, has changed my life. Why would I want to get rid of it? If anything, I want to empower it, and going out their and facing Jack, I'll do just that.
El Nacho: Well as far as we know, he's never been insane, and you know insane, so we are going to find out! We will gather the clues and tell you why Jackhammera is being a, as my people say, nut job.
Dinero: Do you know any real Spanish at all?
El Nacho: Don't joke like that, the Spanish raped our native people. This case obviously has you all worked up! Let us go find out what is wrong with Senior Hammer!
*El Nacho whips out a magnified glass and starts looking at the ground as he walks out. Dinero shrugs and walks after him.*
Curtis: Something ironic about those two looking to find out reasons for insanity. But then, who am I to judge, I've been there. If Jack's there now, I know how to handle it as well. Jack has come out and ridiculed me, told me I have no heart, told me so many other things I've heard before. But only now, with His voice guiding me, do I realize the error of my ways. Is this really truly how everyone has felt about me with the ways I was acting? Was I truly that much of a monster? I mean, I did a lot of bad things, and I suppose I was out to try and make myself be recognized as a monster. It's just, the hate and rage was almost like a blinder across my mind. I didn't realize all the trouble I was causing. It was like an angry amnesia. But now, now that I see the light, now that I recollect on all my past deeds, I realize how badly I truly needed salvation. How much I need to follow His words and save myself. Spread His word. I have to save myself by saving others.
*Curtis looks at the camera.*
Curtis: So it seems to be that the corruption around this place, the fire that NCW strikes in us all to make us want to compete, has tainted a lot of people. It seems that it has corrupted Jackhammer enough for him to go insane. Look at him! The past few weeks, he has rambled on and on, his words are all over the place. I doubt even he knows what it is he is saying. I know all too well what he is feeling. I've been there when my mind was seperated. But I am here to help my fellow wrestlers. I am here to help Jackhammer see the light! I will use the weapons with which the Lord has provided me to help save him from his demons!
*Curtis balls his fists up and shows them to the camera.*
Curtis: These weapons. Jack will know true pain, and he will turn to Him to save himself from this pain. It is my duty to lead people to His word, to take away their sins with pain, to give out His justice. Jack will know Him, because he must. Bless you Jackhammer, for you have sinned.
*The scene fades.*
*We re-open on Nacho and Dinero walking down the hall, Nacho searching for a clue. He opens a door and we see Ebony and Ivory watching Cheech and Chong.*
El Nacho: Lets...go somewhere else for clues.
*The continue and happen upon Jackhammer's locker room. They go inside. Nacho starts going through Jackhammer's stuff.*
Dinero: Are you sure this is wise? You do remember this guy just kicked your ass last week, right?
El Nacho: We are detective-os! This is our birthright!
Dinero: Yeah...probably not, but okay.
*Dinero stands around as Nacho keeps riffling through his stuff. Nacho pulles out his magnified glass again and goes across the floor. He continues until he bumps into a leg!*
El Nacho: Uh-oh-o.
*He slowly stands up and looks up. Until he sees he's standing in front of...Senior Xtremo!*
Xtremo: Hola.
El Nacho: Oh thank goodness! It is only Mehican legend and senstionalo luchadore, Senior Xtremo-o!
Dinero: I think you can just say Xtremo...you know what, why am I helping?
Xtremo: What do you guys think you're doing?
El Nacho: We are detectiving as to why Jackhammer is going crazy.
Xtreme: Oh, I deduced that. I was wondering as to why you were doing it...without me!
*Xtremo pulls out a cape and cowl and puts it on, looking sort of like a bat man.*
Xtremo: For everyone knows I am the best detective-o in all of Mexico!
*Xtremo and El Nacho continue to look through Jackhammer's stuff as Dinero just shakes his head.*
Dinero: Are you serious!?
*Just then a toilet flushes. Everyone freezes and looks at each other. The faucet turns on.*
Dinero: Uh...run!
*All three men dart out of the room as Jackhammer emerges from the bathroom.*
Jackhammer: What happened to my stuff!
*The scene fades.*
