Post by Charlie Velez on Jul 21, 2012 19:57:42 GMT -6
The time has flown by. I can’t remember the last time I stepped inside the wrestling ring, or what I’ve done…it’s just all a blur to me now. The long days and even longer nights have wiped out any memory I had of when things are good.
I never remember days being as long as they’ve been…
My house, my family, the love of my life is all gone. Any friend that I had distances themselves away from me because of how “unpredictable” I’ve become.
My brother won’t even answer my phone calls…
So I sit in this lousy motel room alone without a sign of help in sight…
I do what I do best. Write.
I pick up the piece, and slowly slide the bullets into the chamber. My hands are shaking; fear, that’s what it probably is. But I know that paradise is one pull away, I know everything will be alright.
So I push it against my skull, closing my eyes. The only image I have in my mind is of when things were right, when my life was like it should have been.
Perfect.
No more…no more.
My index finger pulls…
And nothing.
Nothing comes out.
Relief isn’t the word; anger is the only thing running through my mind. I even look through the barrel of the gun, and pull, but nothing happens. It seems like no matter how hard I pull the trigger the gun nothing comes out.
The nightmare hasn’t stopped.
Furious, I unwisely just toss the gun, it smashing against the floor.
And it must have been an act of God…but the gun shot off, shattering the window of the motel room.
It startles me. I quickly get up and grab all my things, walking out of the motel room, trying to be unnoticed. As I walk down the stairway I see people pop their heads out of their doors; drug addicts making sure there were no cops, cheaters hoping not to be caught by their wives.
I don’t belong with these people.
I’m not at the level of these pathetic losers; I am not a man like them.
I am a God.
I cannot die.
And I just proved it.
“Evolution.
The gradual development of something.
Some people don’t believe in Evolution…
They think we were just born here, that some mystical, crazy figure from above just dropped us all here to be part of his ‘plan’. What IS his plan?
I don’t know, you have to ask them.
I’m not one of those nutjobs; I’m more of a man who likes using science and facts to back up my claims. I don’t jus spout things randomly from the mouth…nah, that’s not my style. People think that I’m one of those people…
But they don’t know me at all.
They just think that because I have a swag with the way I walk, that I talk with a bit of confidence that I’m ‘ignorant’, or ‘cocky’. They think I have a lot of pain coming my way, because, well, ‘I deserve it’.
The world doesn’t know what I deserve.
But they’ll learn, very soon.
But back to Evolution and the nutjobs who don’t believe in it…I mean, just simply look at yourselves. We’re evolving every day, changing, gradually developing into something greater…something grander. Look at me for example. I was a scared, long haired eighteen year old boy when I first entered this business. I followed the rules, I did everything you were ‘supposed’ to do and it got me nowhere.
But then I evolved; I changed my ways. I cut my long hair, I concentrated on my craft, and I did everything possible to get to the top, the top I knew I rightfully belonged on. Now look at me. I evolved from a nobody into the biggest wrestling superstar in professional wrestling.
Who’s opening an average pay per view against…Joe Everyman.
How the mighty have fallen, huh?
I can go on for days and complain about this match, how this wrestling company who puts a person who don’t even want to be there against a talentless hack and makes it the main event can put its most talented superstar in the opener, but you know what? I’ll bite my tongue, because I see a change in the future. I see some evolution.
So I accept this challenge, NCW, even though I’m wrestling the same man I’ve known for way too long.
You know that whole part of Evolution, Joe? If you didn’t get it by now, I was kind of taking shots at you; you, you generic, average excuse of a wrestler. Joe Everyman, a man who has been in the business for almost five years (a fact I don’t care to check), and still walks around wearing the same attire, saying the same catchphrases, doing the same moves, coming out to the same generic rock music. Joe Everyman, you are what your name is.
You’re just like every other man in the world.
But that’s your gimmick, right? You’re the man of the people, so you work hard, working just to show that every other man can be like you, so they can inspire, be something great.
You stayed the same with evolution just passed you by. Fans don’t cheer you, they feel sorry for you. They show sympathy for you, because you mean well. I mean, I guess I can respect you for that, for meaning well…but as a professional in the same field I just feel terrible for you. How the fans cheer you as you come out, and you go and you pump your fist, you give them high fives, but once your back is turned…they just hide their faces in their hands, embarrassed about what they’re about to watch. They see the joke that you are, the same joke that everybody in the back tells you in your face. The same joke that your wrestling career has been. I remember when you first came up, around the same time as Steve Awesome. I remember going to the boss and nudging him on the arm and said ‘both of those guys can be stars’…
Nobody ever hits 1.000, but .500 is still damn good.
You see Joe, evolution came and it made me into this superstar, I embraced it. I embraced become this image, becoming something bigger than a wrestler. You see, if you make yourself into something more than a man, if devote yourself to your dream, into your career, you become something else entirely. Something bigger, something extraordinary.
You become a legend.
This is the thing Joe, this is the point I’m trying to make. I know you’re probably just ready to get into the ring with me and smash my face in. But that’s not the point. I’ve been through a lot this past year, looked death in the face and gave it a bitchslap. I’ve been reborn, Joe, I’ve been brought to a place I never thought I can be.
And now I see clearly.
The game changes this Sunday; I’m going to take this company and flip it on top of itself, and I’m going to watch these ‘legends’ who think that they know the ‘right way’ to run things, the people who have their nose stuck up in the air, watching people like me get pushed to the side, not getting what they deserve. These fat cats are going to be put down to lower than our level.
And we’ll establish a whole new order.
You can all just
Thank Me Later.”
I watch her from my bed, the way her body moves has me hypnotized.
She’s not exactly the woman I want, but she’s been giving me everything I need, and I would like to say that she’s a decent replacement. The way she moves, the skimpy clothes she wears in front of me, the things she tells me when we’re alone.
The way she bites my lip when we’re going at it.
She’s on the phone with somebody, I think I know who. I grin at the thought; there’s nothing more satisfying than what we’ve been doing lately.
“Tell him I said hi.” I say, an arrogant grin on my face.
She quickly tries to cover the phone, looking back at me telling me to be quite, but I just continue to smile, slowly moving in closer. I grab her body from behind, planting kisses on the sole of her back. I hear her start to breath heavy, especially as I move up her body, biting the bottom of her ear.
She hangs up the phone and we start to go at it again.
I don’t feel bad for what I’m doing.
A God isn’t allowed to feel that way towards others.
I never remember days being as long as they’ve been…
My house, my family, the love of my life is all gone. Any friend that I had distances themselves away from me because of how “unpredictable” I’ve become.
My brother won’t even answer my phone calls…
So I sit in this lousy motel room alone without a sign of help in sight…
I do what I do best. Write.
“Dear who ever reads this,
Living in this world full of injustice has become tiresome. Every day I watch on television or read in the newspaper of people who are handed everything when in fact they deserve nothing. The unjust is given rewarded for just existing, while hardworking men like myself is given nothing. I must slave for my wealth, only for it to be snatched away by people who think they know me. Lies run past their lips into ears of people who somehow are given power to make decisions on my life; and yet I get punished. I get punished while higher ups just watch, and they grin; their number one enemy is finally struck down.
They took away everything; they all just watched as society raped me and left me to die and yet they just turned a blind eye. A city I rebuilt, a company that I established as the top…they sent me no help. They left me alone to die.
And die I will.
Because this world doesn’t deserve my talents; when I gave it to them they just mocked me and wished for me to go away, they criticized me and told me I wasn’t good enough.
I gave them everything, and they took it away and more.
So this is my good-bye.
To my brother Ryan, I’m sorry I couldn’t be a better big brother to you. You deserve better.
To Mom, I’ll always love you, and I’ll tell Dad you still think about him.
To my sons, Jonathan and Anthony, daddy never meant for it to get to this point. I never want you to end up like me, just me and your uncle Ryan never wanted to be like our father. But it’s a vicious cycle. Learn from my mistakes, sons. Be better than me.
And to my Annette...
I’m sorry I couldn’t keep my promise.
Charlie.”
Living in this world full of injustice has become tiresome. Every day I watch on television or read in the newspaper of people who are handed everything when in fact they deserve nothing. The unjust is given rewarded for just existing, while hardworking men like myself is given nothing. I must slave for my wealth, only for it to be snatched away by people who think they know me. Lies run past their lips into ears of people who somehow are given power to make decisions on my life; and yet I get punished. I get punished while higher ups just watch, and they grin; their number one enemy is finally struck down.
They took away everything; they all just watched as society raped me and left me to die and yet they just turned a blind eye. A city I rebuilt, a company that I established as the top…they sent me no help. They left me alone to die.
And die I will.
Because this world doesn’t deserve my talents; when I gave it to them they just mocked me and wished for me to go away, they criticized me and told me I wasn’t good enough.
I gave them everything, and they took it away and more.
So this is my good-bye.
To my brother Ryan, I’m sorry I couldn’t be a better big brother to you. You deserve better.
To Mom, I’ll always love you, and I’ll tell Dad you still think about him.
To my sons, Jonathan and Anthony, daddy never meant for it to get to this point. I never want you to end up like me, just me and your uncle Ryan never wanted to be like our father. But it’s a vicious cycle. Learn from my mistakes, sons. Be better than me.
And to my Annette...
I’m sorry I couldn’t keep my promise.
Charlie.”
I pick up the piece, and slowly slide the bullets into the chamber. My hands are shaking; fear, that’s what it probably is. But I know that paradise is one pull away, I know everything will be alright.
So I push it against my skull, closing my eyes. The only image I have in my mind is of when things were right, when my life was like it should have been.
Perfect.
No more…no more.
My index finger pulls…
And nothing.
Nothing comes out.
Relief isn’t the word; anger is the only thing running through my mind. I even look through the barrel of the gun, and pull, but nothing happens. It seems like no matter how hard I pull the trigger the gun nothing comes out.
The nightmare hasn’t stopped.
Furious, I unwisely just toss the gun, it smashing against the floor.
And it must have been an act of God…but the gun shot off, shattering the window of the motel room.
It startles me. I quickly get up and grab all my things, walking out of the motel room, trying to be unnoticed. As I walk down the stairway I see people pop their heads out of their doors; drug addicts making sure there were no cops, cheaters hoping not to be caught by their wives.
I don’t belong with these people.
I’m not at the level of these pathetic losers; I am not a man like them.
I am a God.
I cannot die.
And I just proved it.
“Evolution.
The gradual development of something.
Some people don’t believe in Evolution…
They think we were just born here, that some mystical, crazy figure from above just dropped us all here to be part of his ‘plan’. What IS his plan?
I don’t know, you have to ask them.
I’m not one of those nutjobs; I’m more of a man who likes using science and facts to back up my claims. I don’t jus spout things randomly from the mouth…nah, that’s not my style. People think that I’m one of those people…
But they don’t know me at all.
They just think that because I have a swag with the way I walk, that I talk with a bit of confidence that I’m ‘ignorant’, or ‘cocky’. They think I have a lot of pain coming my way, because, well, ‘I deserve it’.
The world doesn’t know what I deserve.
But they’ll learn, very soon.
But back to Evolution and the nutjobs who don’t believe in it…I mean, just simply look at yourselves. We’re evolving every day, changing, gradually developing into something greater…something grander. Look at me for example. I was a scared, long haired eighteen year old boy when I first entered this business. I followed the rules, I did everything you were ‘supposed’ to do and it got me nowhere.
But then I evolved; I changed my ways. I cut my long hair, I concentrated on my craft, and I did everything possible to get to the top, the top I knew I rightfully belonged on. Now look at me. I evolved from a nobody into the biggest wrestling superstar in professional wrestling.
Who’s opening an average pay per view against…Joe Everyman.
How the mighty have fallen, huh?
I can go on for days and complain about this match, how this wrestling company who puts a person who don’t even want to be there against a talentless hack and makes it the main event can put its most talented superstar in the opener, but you know what? I’ll bite my tongue, because I see a change in the future. I see some evolution.
So I accept this challenge, NCW, even though I’m wrestling the same man I’ve known for way too long.
You know that whole part of Evolution, Joe? If you didn’t get it by now, I was kind of taking shots at you; you, you generic, average excuse of a wrestler. Joe Everyman, a man who has been in the business for almost five years (a fact I don’t care to check), and still walks around wearing the same attire, saying the same catchphrases, doing the same moves, coming out to the same generic rock music. Joe Everyman, you are what your name is.
You’re just like every other man in the world.
But that’s your gimmick, right? You’re the man of the people, so you work hard, working just to show that every other man can be like you, so they can inspire, be something great.
You stayed the same with evolution just passed you by. Fans don’t cheer you, they feel sorry for you. They show sympathy for you, because you mean well. I mean, I guess I can respect you for that, for meaning well…but as a professional in the same field I just feel terrible for you. How the fans cheer you as you come out, and you go and you pump your fist, you give them high fives, but once your back is turned…they just hide their faces in their hands, embarrassed about what they’re about to watch. They see the joke that you are, the same joke that everybody in the back tells you in your face. The same joke that your wrestling career has been. I remember when you first came up, around the same time as Steve Awesome. I remember going to the boss and nudging him on the arm and said ‘both of those guys can be stars’…
Nobody ever hits 1.000, but .500 is still damn good.
You see Joe, evolution came and it made me into this superstar, I embraced it. I embraced become this image, becoming something bigger than a wrestler. You see, if you make yourself into something more than a man, if devote yourself to your dream, into your career, you become something else entirely. Something bigger, something extraordinary.
You become a legend.
This is the thing Joe, this is the point I’m trying to make. I know you’re probably just ready to get into the ring with me and smash my face in. But that’s not the point. I’ve been through a lot this past year, looked death in the face and gave it a bitchslap. I’ve been reborn, Joe, I’ve been brought to a place I never thought I can be.
And now I see clearly.
The game changes this Sunday; I’m going to take this company and flip it on top of itself, and I’m going to watch these ‘legends’ who think that they know the ‘right way’ to run things, the people who have their nose stuck up in the air, watching people like me get pushed to the side, not getting what they deserve. These fat cats are going to be put down to lower than our level.
And we’ll establish a whole new order.
You can all just
Thank Me Later.”
I watch her from my bed, the way her body moves has me hypnotized.
She’s not exactly the woman I want, but she’s been giving me everything I need, and I would like to say that she’s a decent replacement. The way she moves, the skimpy clothes she wears in front of me, the things she tells me when we’re alone.
The way she bites my lip when we’re going at it.
She’s on the phone with somebody, I think I know who. I grin at the thought; there’s nothing more satisfying than what we’ve been doing lately.
“Tell him I said hi.” I say, an arrogant grin on my face.
She quickly tries to cover the phone, looking back at me telling me to be quite, but I just continue to smile, slowly moving in closer. I grab her body from behind, planting kisses on the sole of her back. I hear her start to breath heavy, especially as I move up her body, biting the bottom of her ear.
She hangs up the phone and we start to go at it again.
I don’t feel bad for what I’m doing.
A God isn’t allowed to feel that way towards others.
