Post by Philip Burns on Aug 3, 2012 17:29:53 GMT -6
{We open in a bright white padded room. Almost uncomfortably white. The walls are padded and sitting in a corner is Jimmy Novak. (Yes, Jimmy Novak. The up and comer who seemed to be getting attention from Falcon and then suddenly fell off the map.) He stares into the distance, a straight jacket tightly securing his arms. Suddenly Philip Burns bursts through door.}
Burns: Jim-Jam! Come on I'm breaking you out of here! Let's go!
Novak: Philip? I don’t understand! Whats going on??
Burns: I said get your ass in gear before I DDT you into in early grave! The men in white coats are coming and its time to roll!
{Novak jumps up and springs for the door. They sneak down a hallway, past an old nurse watching a soap opera and some orderlies exchanging storied about their latest sexual conquests. Suddenly a tall lanky orderly walk into the hall from an open doorway. Jimmy panics and headbutts him. Burns looks on in disbelief.}
Burns: Dude, we're not actually breaking out. You got released! I’m here to pick you up. You just assaulted some random dude that didn’t give two craps about you walking out of here.
Novak. Oh, sh*t. You got a hundred bucks? I gotta make this right.
{Burns rolls his eyes and pulls out a wad of twenties and hands them to James. He then pockets two of them and places the rest in the orderly's mouth.}
Burns: Really?
Novak: Hey, I’m going to need supplies, and I wanted to make sure he found his cut.
Burns: It was all for him!
Novak: Whatever. So where are we going? I’ve been locked up in the loony bin for months.
Burns: Well James, I am returning to nCw and I need you to come with me.
Novak: You need me to come with you? Why?
Burns: Because I see a lot of myself in you. And I don’t want you to become an afterthought like me. Its the 5 year Collision and I have a match against my old rival Curtis Kanyon. I want you to see that there is hope for your career yet, despite the setbacks.
Novak: Really? That’s touching.
Burns: No man, I'm f*cking with you. I just know that we're both a little bat sh*t crazy and I want someone to hang out with. Plus, I’ve been working here as hired muscle to control the crazies for about 5 months and you’re the only one who has been slightly amusing. You're just weird enough to not be certifiable so they're letting you out and its time we did what we do best.
Novak: Kick ass while wearing tights and spray tan?
Burns: When you say it like that is just sounds gay.
Novak: OH, sorry. Wrestle?
Burns: That's better. We're going to Kentucky.
{Burns and Novak stroll out the door in slow motion as a generic hip hop beat plays behind them.}
Burns: Jim-Jam! Come on I'm breaking you out of here! Let's go!
Novak: Philip? I don’t understand! Whats going on??
Burns: I said get your ass in gear before I DDT you into in early grave! The men in white coats are coming and its time to roll!
{Novak jumps up and springs for the door. They sneak down a hallway, past an old nurse watching a soap opera and some orderlies exchanging storied about their latest sexual conquests. Suddenly a tall lanky orderly walk into the hall from an open doorway. Jimmy panics and headbutts him. Burns looks on in disbelief.}
Burns: Dude, we're not actually breaking out. You got released! I’m here to pick you up. You just assaulted some random dude that didn’t give two craps about you walking out of here.
Novak. Oh, sh*t. You got a hundred bucks? I gotta make this right.
{Burns rolls his eyes and pulls out a wad of twenties and hands them to James. He then pockets two of them and places the rest in the orderly's mouth.}
Burns: Really?
Novak: Hey, I’m going to need supplies, and I wanted to make sure he found his cut.
Burns: It was all for him!
Novak: Whatever. So where are we going? I’ve been locked up in the loony bin for months.
Burns: Well James, I am returning to nCw and I need you to come with me.
Novak: You need me to come with you? Why?
Burns: Because I see a lot of myself in you. And I don’t want you to become an afterthought like me. Its the 5 year Collision and I have a match against my old rival Curtis Kanyon. I want you to see that there is hope for your career yet, despite the setbacks.
Novak: Really? That’s touching.
Burns: No man, I'm f*cking with you. I just know that we're both a little bat sh*t crazy and I want someone to hang out with. Plus, I’ve been working here as hired muscle to control the crazies for about 5 months and you’re the only one who has been slightly amusing. You're just weird enough to not be certifiable so they're letting you out and its time we did what we do best.
Novak: Kick ass while wearing tights and spray tan?
Burns: When you say it like that is just sounds gay.
Novak: OH, sorry. Wrestle?
Burns: That's better. We're going to Kentucky.
{Burns and Novak stroll out the door in slow motion as a generic hip hop beat plays behind them.}