Post by Gib on Aug 16, 2012 20:33:26 GMT -6
Here we go...
One more ****ing time, and then I will have purged myself of these International douchebags once and for all. I have beaten them in singles matches, Simon and I have beaten them in tag team matches, we have taken apart each and every team in their International Invitational, but once again we found ourselves with these two codsacks standing in our way.
Must be they didn’t learn from the ass kicking my country gave them in the olympics. I mean you could combine the medals from both your countries, and by both your countries I mean Mexico and all Asian countries not named china together and you still can’t total the amazing ass kicking, vagina pounding, testosterone pumping United State of ****ing America did.
Because, just like your wrestling skills, your countries athletic skills are less then ours. We have brought honor and decency to these titles, and I have brought that decency by rubbing my package all over the belt each and every night.
Look, I don’t hate your countries, I mean honestly, I love your hookers. Bushido, your women are so obedient, all of them. When I go to any of those asian countries not named China I plow through dozens a night, turning them into big macs by spraying them with copious amounts of my special sauce.
And let me tell you, other man on the Internationals from the third world country that shall henceforth be affectionately be referred to as the asshole of the United States I should warn you that the new stuffing in the most delicious burritos that your country creates is now known as Gib’s Penis Meat. And believe me, when I say burrito I mean the delicate and sensitive areas in your ladies pants.
I don’t need to throw around respect and courtesy, that isn’t who I am boys, and if you haven’t figured that out yet then I assume your dad was Corky from television’s Life Goes On. I remember showing my son that show as a kid and pointing that that cute little retard and telling Xander, if a retard can do that then you better make something of yourself boy.
What I am, beyond a red blooded American is one of the greatest wrestlers this business has ever witnessed and unlike the weak wrestlers of your generation who think jumping around the ring like a bunch of apes being raped and getting hurt within twenty minutes of their career starting I have ut no shelf life.
I am as good now as I was ten years ago. I would name drop, but it isn’t necessary. I would go through what I have accomplished since returning the the ring for this tag team experiment but you have already watched it. I have dominated, I have been defeated once in that time and that time was by the world champion, my son.
I was just born better then you guys.
No really, one of you was born on a rice patty and the other in an onion field and I was born in a hospital, because that is how we do it in the greatest damn country ever.
Put that in your pipe, or, you can smoke my cock if you would rather.
{Scene opens to the gym in the basement, Gib is with Simon who is doing crunches. Gib holds his feet and and does pushups off his feet, as Simon gets to the sitting position, Gib goes face down, from the bottom view this looks pretty much like Gib is giving fellatio to Simon}
Gib: Ohhhh yeah, that is a deep burn! Get it baby, give me a good set and make it burn deep baby!
{Simon blushes before stopping}
Simon: Is it necessary for us to do this at the same time?
{Gib reaches up and slaps his penis with his hand, Simon groans and rolls to his side}
Gib: You think the internationals do tandem push up sit ups? No, they are too busy doing reverse cowgirl squats, that is the only way they can maintain those glorious glutes that they are always showing off in those tights that are sown together by the children of their nations.
Simon: Child labor, what a miscarriage of justice...
Gib: What are you talking about you right wing homo****er? Those poor kids as you say it would be selling their bodies on the streets for snickers bars if they weren’t working in those sweat shops, think about that. Do you want to promote pedophilic prostitution? Please tell me you don’t, because that would be very unAmerican, America hates pedophiles as a a matter of fact you put one of those scumbags in prison and he is going to get raped and beaten.
Simon: America...
Gib: *** damn right America.
{Gib for some reason does the sign of the cross after saying this.}
Gib: Look, I think you are ready for the next step, you need to attempt the most deadly workout move, I accomplished this when I was a mere seven years old but I want to see if you have it in you, I want to see if you have this ability deep within your loins, trying to burst free, trying to grind its way to freedom.
{Gib gyrates his hips back and forth, Simon tries to avert his eyes but Gib grabs the sides of his head as he does it}
Gib: It is time to attempt the impossible sit up, now here is the situation here. I had to get some people to help me here, so, this will also serve as a group of people who will verify, forever that this actually happened.
{Jimmy Turner and Willy Carter walk into the room.}
Gib: Ok, get on your back Simon. I am going to hold your head down, and Willy over there, he is going to hold your feet, and knowing how he loves penis he will probably be trying to look at your testicles up your mesh shorts there, which by the way are tacky as **** I have told you to get some sweatshorts, but that is neither here nor there. You are going to work to try and do the sit up.
Simon: That is impossible.
Gib: Dumbass, I told you impossible situp. But I think you can do it. I think you have the gumption.
Simon: Ok, I got this.
{Simon gets on his back, Carter grabs his feet and Gib puts his hands over his eyes. Jimmy Turner is giggling, and he drops his pants and squats over the face of Simon, a blur mark covers the parts of the nCw janitor that you don’t want to see. Simon strains and fights. He tries so hard until finally Gib releases his hands and Simon’s face plunges into the crack of Jimmy Turner. Simon immediately starts to gag and moan, Gib stands as Carter starts to laugh}
Gib: Dude, you are totally gay....
{Scene fades as Simon gets up leaving the room, most likely looking for a pot of boiling water to plunge his face into.}
Here I have one more chance, one more opportunity to prove to the world that this is no fluke. I have chosen a person to bring on a journey with me and this journey has been one that I would have not have shared with anyone else. See, Simon, he is a good ****. Sure, I put him through a ton of crap and really bust his balls. Perhaps I hold my hand on his ass a bit too long or give him too many back to front hugs but he understands, he understands that underneath the bull**** games and comedy that I really do care about him.
He is going to be huge someday, and not just in his pants. This kid has a fire, he has something special and you are all going to witness it, and when you do I want you to say, “****, not only does Gib create amazing wrestlers with his sperm, but he also knows a boatload of **** about the wrestling business.”
After we close down the dreams of the Internationals this week, who is left? Who is going to step up to challenge us for these titles? We have cleared out all the international teams, we have defeated the hall of fame team who thought they were going to run through us and now, after we rid the world of these too Mexiasian crotch puppets who is going to be the next to step up to the plate.
There will be no one, because no one walks up to a person who is wearing a sign around their neck that says, come here for a free kick in the nuts. And wrestling us, that is like getting a kick to the nuts of your confidence.
Internationals, I humored you long enough. I have ****ed around and made fun of you, and kicked your asses, I am going to end the shenanigans this weekend. After Simon and I finish with you, you are never going to want to wrestle again.
But me, I will still want to rock...
Because I don’t know how to age.
This old man is gunning for you, and I won’t stop until your asses are being deported back to your third world nations.
One more ****ing time, and then I will have purged myself of these International douchebags once and for all. I have beaten them in singles matches, Simon and I have beaten them in tag team matches, we have taken apart each and every team in their International Invitational, but once again we found ourselves with these two codsacks standing in our way.
Must be they didn’t learn from the ass kicking my country gave them in the olympics. I mean you could combine the medals from both your countries, and by both your countries I mean Mexico and all Asian countries not named china together and you still can’t total the amazing ass kicking, vagina pounding, testosterone pumping United State of ****ing America did.
Because, just like your wrestling skills, your countries athletic skills are less then ours. We have brought honor and decency to these titles, and I have brought that decency by rubbing my package all over the belt each and every night.
Look, I don’t hate your countries, I mean honestly, I love your hookers. Bushido, your women are so obedient, all of them. When I go to any of those asian countries not named China I plow through dozens a night, turning them into big macs by spraying them with copious amounts of my special sauce.
And let me tell you, other man on the Internationals from the third world country that shall henceforth be affectionately be referred to as the asshole of the United States I should warn you that the new stuffing in the most delicious burritos that your country creates is now known as Gib’s Penis Meat. And believe me, when I say burrito I mean the delicate and sensitive areas in your ladies pants.
I don’t need to throw around respect and courtesy, that isn’t who I am boys, and if you haven’t figured that out yet then I assume your dad was Corky from television’s Life Goes On. I remember showing my son that show as a kid and pointing that that cute little retard and telling Xander, if a retard can do that then you better make something of yourself boy.
What I am, beyond a red blooded American is one of the greatest wrestlers this business has ever witnessed and unlike the weak wrestlers of your generation who think jumping around the ring like a bunch of apes being raped and getting hurt within twenty minutes of their career starting I have ut no shelf life.
I am as good now as I was ten years ago. I would name drop, but it isn’t necessary. I would go through what I have accomplished since returning the the ring for this tag team experiment but you have already watched it. I have dominated, I have been defeated once in that time and that time was by the world champion, my son.
I was just born better then you guys.
No really, one of you was born on a rice patty and the other in an onion field and I was born in a hospital, because that is how we do it in the greatest damn country ever.
Put that in your pipe, or, you can smoke my cock if you would rather.
{Scene opens to the gym in the basement, Gib is with Simon who is doing crunches. Gib holds his feet and and does pushups off his feet, as Simon gets to the sitting position, Gib goes face down, from the bottom view this looks pretty much like Gib is giving fellatio to Simon}
Gib: Ohhhh yeah, that is a deep burn! Get it baby, give me a good set and make it burn deep baby!
{Simon blushes before stopping}
Simon: Is it necessary for us to do this at the same time?
{Gib reaches up and slaps his penis with his hand, Simon groans and rolls to his side}
Gib: You think the internationals do tandem push up sit ups? No, they are too busy doing reverse cowgirl squats, that is the only way they can maintain those glorious glutes that they are always showing off in those tights that are sown together by the children of their nations.
Simon: Child labor, what a miscarriage of justice...
Gib: What are you talking about you right wing homo****er? Those poor kids as you say it would be selling their bodies on the streets for snickers bars if they weren’t working in those sweat shops, think about that. Do you want to promote pedophilic prostitution? Please tell me you don’t, because that would be very unAmerican, America hates pedophiles as a a matter of fact you put one of those scumbags in prison and he is going to get raped and beaten.
Simon: America...
Gib: *** damn right America.
{Gib for some reason does the sign of the cross after saying this.}
Gib: Look, I think you are ready for the next step, you need to attempt the most deadly workout move, I accomplished this when I was a mere seven years old but I want to see if you have it in you, I want to see if you have this ability deep within your loins, trying to burst free, trying to grind its way to freedom.
{Gib gyrates his hips back and forth, Simon tries to avert his eyes but Gib grabs the sides of his head as he does it}
Gib: It is time to attempt the impossible sit up, now here is the situation here. I had to get some people to help me here, so, this will also serve as a group of people who will verify, forever that this actually happened.
{Jimmy Turner and Willy Carter walk into the room.}
Gib: Ok, get on your back Simon. I am going to hold your head down, and Willy over there, he is going to hold your feet, and knowing how he loves penis he will probably be trying to look at your testicles up your mesh shorts there, which by the way are tacky as **** I have told you to get some sweatshorts, but that is neither here nor there. You are going to work to try and do the sit up.
Simon: That is impossible.
Gib: Dumbass, I told you impossible situp. But I think you can do it. I think you have the gumption.
Simon: Ok, I got this.
{Simon gets on his back, Carter grabs his feet and Gib puts his hands over his eyes. Jimmy Turner is giggling, and he drops his pants and squats over the face of Simon, a blur mark covers the parts of the nCw janitor that you don’t want to see. Simon strains and fights. He tries so hard until finally Gib releases his hands and Simon’s face plunges into the crack of Jimmy Turner. Simon immediately starts to gag and moan, Gib stands as Carter starts to laugh}
Gib: Dude, you are totally gay....
{Scene fades as Simon gets up leaving the room, most likely looking for a pot of boiling water to plunge his face into.}
Here I have one more chance, one more opportunity to prove to the world that this is no fluke. I have chosen a person to bring on a journey with me and this journey has been one that I would have not have shared with anyone else. See, Simon, he is a good ****. Sure, I put him through a ton of crap and really bust his balls. Perhaps I hold my hand on his ass a bit too long or give him too many back to front hugs but he understands, he understands that underneath the bull**** games and comedy that I really do care about him.
He is going to be huge someday, and not just in his pants. This kid has a fire, he has something special and you are all going to witness it, and when you do I want you to say, “****, not only does Gib create amazing wrestlers with his sperm, but he also knows a boatload of **** about the wrestling business.”
After we close down the dreams of the Internationals this week, who is left? Who is going to step up to challenge us for these titles? We have cleared out all the international teams, we have defeated the hall of fame team who thought they were going to run through us and now, after we rid the world of these too Mexiasian crotch puppets who is going to be the next to step up to the plate.
There will be no one, because no one walks up to a person who is wearing a sign around their neck that says, come here for a free kick in the nuts. And wrestling us, that is like getting a kick to the nuts of your confidence.
Internationals, I humored you long enough. I have ****ed around and made fun of you, and kicked your asses, I am going to end the shenanigans this weekend. After Simon and I finish with you, you are never going to want to wrestle again.
But me, I will still want to rock...
Because I don’t know how to age.
This old man is gunning for you, and I won’t stop until your asses are being deported back to your third world nations.
