Post by Jabari Woodhead on Aug 25, 2012 8:58:21 GMT -6
The scene opens up on a large mansion up on a hill. A large man is standing outside the mansion as the camera makes it way up the drive way.
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Jabari Woodhead: ****, its about time you guys got here. What the **** took you so long?
Camera guy: Your driveway is like twenty miles long.
Jabari Woodhead: So?
Camera Guy: It took us a while to drive up it.
Jabari Woodhead: There is no speed limit and you guys are still an hour late. There is no way you lost an hour just driving up my driveway unless you guys kept stopping to look at my drive way of honor.
Camera Guy: I'm not going to lie that stuff was pretty impressive.
Jabari Woodhead: ****ing right it was impressive. I did it all myself. Well I earned all the stuff that you saw there with hardwork and God given talent.
Jabari lets out a wolf howl.
[/b]
Camera Guy: Isn't that Todd Williams thing?
Jabari Woodhead: The wolf howl? He may be doing it now but I ****ing created that move. He may take credit for it but me and the boys back at the U created all this stuff.
Camera Guy: What was it like at the U?
Jabari Woodhead: Basically you could take the wildest party that you could ever imagine in the world filled with every kind of booze known to man and with all the hottest women in the world and you would be about a tenth of the way to the U. They say that everything is bigger in Texas. Not everything is and that is because it is way bigger at the U. I know that Arizona State is considered the biggest party school in the nation and that is only because The Miami University party zone is classified as a county. Now I ask you Mr. Camera Man, do you think that someone such as yourself would be invited to a party at the U?
Mr. Camera Man: Uh...
Jabari Woodhead: Hell no you wouldn't be invited and that is because you don't have the swag.
Mr. Camera Man: What is swag?
Jabari Woodhead: Did you just ask me what swag is? Man, if you weren't filming this right now I would be the ever loving **** out of you. You don't come onto my property and ****ing insult me like that. Let me fill you in on what Swag is. Swag is the essence that comes off a former, current and future Hurricane football player. You have to walk around knowing that you are the best thing on Earth and that is how I have lived my entire life. I got all kinds of swag and if you want to I could probably teach you how to have swag too. I mean not this week since I have this huge party to throw tonight and maybe not next week but at some point we can get together and I will teach you what it really means to be a player at the U.
Mr. Camera Guy: I don't really want to have swag.
Jabari Woodhead: Now mother****er why is that? How can you not want to have swag? Every chick in this ****ing area is looking for a dude with swag and if you don't have it you end up getting left out of everything and guys like me end up with every chick under the sun.
Mr. Camera Guy: I see
Jabari Woodhead: Do you know who doesn't have swag?
Mr. Camera Guy: Who is that?
Jabari Woodhead: Eric Sanderson
Mr. Camera Guy: Well yeah. He is white.
Jabari Woodhead: You racist mother****er. It's not because he is white that he has no swag, its because he probably allows his wife to push him and around and make all the decisions at home. I mean Eric was even forced into pushing a baby out of his vagina a few weeks ago. There is absolutely no ****ing way that I would ever let some bitch tell me to shove a baby out of my body. No way, no how.
The scene fades to black
[/b]
Do you feel that Eric? A storm is coming in the form of Jabari Woodhead so you better batten down the hatches or I may come in and steal your house, your car and you woman. You see that's the big difference between you and I. I walk around and ooze perfection while you walk around and ooze whatever that **** is that Joe Everyman oozes that causes him to lose every week. I'm not saying that you are as bad as Joe Everyman but *** damn you are close.
The other difference between us is that you had to spend years trying to get good at your craft while I was born with this excellence. You could have been out banging women, getting drunk as hell but instead you would crawl into a dark corner of your room and start writing songs about how much you hate the world and how much you just want to end your own life. I never had to worry about feeling that down because I was off living the greatest life that anyone could imagine. In fact my life is so awesome I should no doubt be a first ballot Life of Famer when it is time for me to leave this world.
I don't really think you know who I am and I'm ok with that. I mean it isn't hard to go onto google and look up Jabari Woodhead and see my lift of award, accomplishments. No wait don't look those up because after you see them you will probably get even more depressed and you will finally succeed at something. Too bad that is suicide and then I will end up winning by default which is not what I want. I want to go out and dominate you with my superior athletic ability and overwhelming strength. You don't even know what is in store for you tonight Eric. I'm going to come in and destroy or take away everything that you have ever known and love.
I feel bad for you kid, you having to live in the shadow of Brad Kane and the shadow of your whore of a sister. It must really suck and honestly I don't know how you feel because I've never had to live in the shadow of anyone, not even the likes of Tom Brady. Oh and before I go and speaking of your whore sister, make sure to send her over to my hotel room tonight after I embarrass you in front of millions of people and unlike Lex Sense and Brad Kane I'll show her what a real ****ing man looks like.
[/b]
Jabari Woodhead: ****, its about time you guys got here. What the **** took you so long?
Camera guy: Your driveway is like twenty miles long.
Jabari Woodhead: So?
Camera Guy: It took us a while to drive up it.
Jabari Woodhead: There is no speed limit and you guys are still an hour late. There is no way you lost an hour just driving up my driveway unless you guys kept stopping to look at my drive way of honor.
Camera Guy: I'm not going to lie that stuff was pretty impressive.
Jabari Woodhead: ****ing right it was impressive. I did it all myself. Well I earned all the stuff that you saw there with hardwork and God given talent.
Jabari lets out a wolf howl.
[/b]
Camera Guy: Isn't that Todd Williams thing?
Jabari Woodhead: The wolf howl? He may be doing it now but I ****ing created that move. He may take credit for it but me and the boys back at the U created all this stuff.
Camera Guy: What was it like at the U?
Jabari Woodhead: Basically you could take the wildest party that you could ever imagine in the world filled with every kind of booze known to man and with all the hottest women in the world and you would be about a tenth of the way to the U. They say that everything is bigger in Texas. Not everything is and that is because it is way bigger at the U. I know that Arizona State is considered the biggest party school in the nation and that is only because The Miami University party zone is classified as a county. Now I ask you Mr. Camera Man, do you think that someone such as yourself would be invited to a party at the U?
Mr. Camera Man: Uh...
Jabari Woodhead: Hell no you wouldn't be invited and that is because you don't have the swag.
Mr. Camera Man: What is swag?
Jabari Woodhead: Did you just ask me what swag is? Man, if you weren't filming this right now I would be the ever loving **** out of you. You don't come onto my property and ****ing insult me like that. Let me fill you in on what Swag is. Swag is the essence that comes off a former, current and future Hurricane football player. You have to walk around knowing that you are the best thing on Earth and that is how I have lived my entire life. I got all kinds of swag and if you want to I could probably teach you how to have swag too. I mean not this week since I have this huge party to throw tonight and maybe not next week but at some point we can get together and I will teach you what it really means to be a player at the U.
Mr. Camera Guy: I don't really want to have swag.
Jabari Woodhead: Now mother****er why is that? How can you not want to have swag? Every chick in this ****ing area is looking for a dude with swag and if you don't have it you end up getting left out of everything and guys like me end up with every chick under the sun.
Mr. Camera Guy: I see
Jabari Woodhead: Do you know who doesn't have swag?
Mr. Camera Guy: Who is that?
Jabari Woodhead: Eric Sanderson
Mr. Camera Guy: Well yeah. He is white.
Jabari Woodhead: You racist mother****er. It's not because he is white that he has no swag, its because he probably allows his wife to push him and around and make all the decisions at home. I mean Eric was even forced into pushing a baby out of his vagina a few weeks ago. There is absolutely no ****ing way that I would ever let some bitch tell me to shove a baby out of my body. No way, no how.
The scene fades to black
[/b]
Do you feel that Eric? A storm is coming in the form of Jabari Woodhead so you better batten down the hatches or I may come in and steal your house, your car and you woman. You see that's the big difference between you and I. I walk around and ooze perfection while you walk around and ooze whatever that **** is that Joe Everyman oozes that causes him to lose every week. I'm not saying that you are as bad as Joe Everyman but *** damn you are close.
The other difference between us is that you had to spend years trying to get good at your craft while I was born with this excellence. You could have been out banging women, getting drunk as hell but instead you would crawl into a dark corner of your room and start writing songs about how much you hate the world and how much you just want to end your own life. I never had to worry about feeling that down because I was off living the greatest life that anyone could imagine. In fact my life is so awesome I should no doubt be a first ballot Life of Famer when it is time for me to leave this world.
I don't really think you know who I am and I'm ok with that. I mean it isn't hard to go onto google and look up Jabari Woodhead and see my lift of award, accomplishments. No wait don't look those up because after you see them you will probably get even more depressed and you will finally succeed at something. Too bad that is suicide and then I will end up winning by default which is not what I want. I want to go out and dominate you with my superior athletic ability and overwhelming strength. You don't even know what is in store for you tonight Eric. I'm going to come in and destroy or take away everything that you have ever known and love.
I feel bad for you kid, you having to live in the shadow of Brad Kane and the shadow of your whore of a sister. It must really suck and honestly I don't know how you feel because I've never had to live in the shadow of anyone, not even the likes of Tom Brady. Oh and before I go and speaking of your whore sister, make sure to send her over to my hotel room tonight after I embarrass you in front of millions of people and unlike Lex Sense and Brad Kane I'll show her what a real ****ing man looks like.