Post by Trent Helms on Sept 23, 2012 7:26:26 GMT -6
There was once a great man, if the thread title is created under the username ChadPennington, then more then likely, it refers to a man who believes himself to be better then everyone, maybe he is, maybe he isn't, I mean it depends on the judging scale, are we talking about length of title runs, and who can pronounce the most fancy of words, then Trent Helms isn't your guy, I mean after all, it's not like once in his history here, he has ever retained a championship, and he even lost to Shaun Wilson, yeah I hardly remember him either, outside of stealing a box of chicken from KFC in that Steve Awesome promo.
But is that all we judge things by, how long your title runs are? Then maybe we should just revert back to who carries the biggest stick, well, my team is screwed then, I mean on one end, You have a seven foot monster, who has to be carrying a thickness the size of a redwood tree, then you have the Famularo, who are known for their size, despite the fact, they finish long before the recipient can even pretend to fake the big O, even with the handicap of a Latino on their side, Team Jacobsen doesn't stand a fighting chance, based on the disappointing look, Zelda gave him, Oh Blow me Kelly, she is based on 65.5 percent of my DNA, so I will mention her by name all I want, if you have a problem with that, I will proceed to fly up to Memphis, throw tons of the hard earned money I gained in that contract you gave me at a Stripper, and proceed to punch her in the face, and involke a no-contact clause in my contract, I might be doing that anyways, been meaning to try that personal force-field I created for myself out, but until then, I'm going to exit out of the first person view, and enter back into the third, because it's just cool when I do that.
The truth is, I'm really back for one reason, It's not to win Andrew Jacobsen a world championship, it's not because I have a death wish, in facing a seven foot monster, who just last year, in the same environment, Power-bombed Rob Diamond half way to New Zealand, nor do I have some unfinished beef with Charlie Velez, as one would suggested, because I did my best impersonation of Keenu Reeves to his Gavin Rosedale in Constantine this past week.
It's because of Xander Famularo, the bastard nephew of mine, to which I'm not even remotely related to, unless you count that one creepy fan of mine, and his weird, but highly arousing fan fiction to where I jerked off into a Turkey Baster, and inserted it into Betty White vagina, and 9 months later, Gib was created, which is in no way, an accurate turn of events, on how the man, is the father of at least nine children here was created, if you count that one, we'll related somehow.
Xander, it's not even really you, to who I'm pissed off at, I mean, I can't say anything, because if the roles were reversed, I would of done exactly the same thing you did, and cashed in on a weakened man, and took his World Championship away from him, I'm not mad at that, truth is, I didn't get the job done against Ricky Johnson, You did, so there is no hard feelings there.
But at least I would of been man enough, to look you dead in the eyes, and tell you the same thing, as opposed to sending your female clone after me, as a distraction, before leveling in, and sending me back to the mystical land of Toronto, Canada.
But I'm not about to pull a Ace, and read back your promo to you, from my view.
No, I'm better then that.
I'm going to have sex with your mother.
Wait....I'm not going to Steve Awesome you, despite the fact, that I'm posting this promo, pretty last minute, I guess as screw you to Kelly Knite, not for doing this to me.
But because you booked the damn show in New Jersey, the one state I can't seem to stand, because, everytime I come here, I leave looking like the annoying orange from them Youtube Videos, due to spray-on tanning, and for some reason, I begin to fist pump uncontrollably, and scream loudly and yell nonsense, even more do I do normally.
And that, is the real reason why I'm back Kelly.
Because of you, just because you couldn't let a man walk away, you talk about how you're the angry one, that Ricky Johnson nearly walked out of this promotion with your World Championship, because I didn't get the job done?
No, I'm the angry one, because you painted me as your fall guy from the beginning, just because I traded my soul for a shot at the belt, that once took enough men to fill up a Jasmine St. Claire gangbang to take away from me, You painted me the villain, I watched, as a year of hard-worked, and really what was something that was a long-time coming, finally given to me, only to watch everyone, who saw my struggles, against your husband, against Steve Awesome, against the stupidness of Jimmy Zane getting a world title shot, finally get one himself, and everyone turned on me, and for what? Some skittles that were stale....THE SKITTLES WERE STALE KELLY!!!!
It's fine Kelly, you outsmarted me, and you might of done the same again, Xander will get to finally get the Jacobsen monkey off his back, because, truth be told, unlike what my so-called Team Captain said, We're not a United Front, him and Falcon might be, but do you really think, it settles well with me Kelly, knowing that I'm going to win, someone else a World Championship?
I have nothing against the little prick, I mean, sure he stood up for my honor and all, after you sent your Quarterback of the football team after me, and ordered him to stomp and rip open my chest cavity, but it's not like he finally grew a set, when I was unable to speak for weeks, and told a now retired Hall Of Famer, who will more then likely make his return, just in time for the Riot Match, who would bad mouth me, that I didn't deserve a shot, and told him to shut the hell up, you brand jumping hypocrite...I mean, that what I would of done if I was Andrew Jacobsen, but I'm not, I'm Trent Helms, you know, the son of a bitch, who is going to John Woo Dropkick both his feet directly into your new flavor of the week golden boy Xander, and ride him like Marcus and Dom rode that Brumak at the end of Gears 2.
And do you know why Kelly.
The nearly twenty million dollars sitting in my bank account, that was personally signed over to me by you, should tell you just that.
I'm Trent Helms
And I'm Out Of This World...
And I'm Trent Helms.
And Tonight is the night, that I begin to undo, all the damage you caused, when I get payback for a man, who I respected, who did defeat me, and took the two very things I wanted for myself, the World Championship and this year Hall of Fame slot, Tonight, I avenge something, this time, not only for myself, but for a man, who I regret to say is better then I am.
Not only that, Tonight the reign of your handpicked goon ends, and the era of Bland will begin, when Andrew Jacobsen shocks the world, who like me, has been tormented by nick-names, and tragedy, and puts his name into the history books as a World Champion, a man, who has had to deal with Steve Awesome and Rob Diamond making a mockery of his career for nearly a year, Andrew Jacobsen will be your world champion by the end of tonight.
I hope you enjoy it Jacobsen....
But know this...
The moment, I give Xander a Close Encounter, that he isn't going to like or enjoy, and I pin him inside that cage, and you're handed that belt...
You become my next target, once the dust is clear, and all the confetti is done falling.
You're next, our alliance is over, and you become my next objective.
And you might of handled the wrath of Xander Famularo quite well, I don't think you will be ready for the two years worth of frustration I have, from having everything kept from me, You're not going to be ready for that Jacobsen...
Enjoy it Jacobsen, because it will not last.
I will get that belt, one way or another, whatever it takes, I don't care if I have to become a suit wearing Uncle Tom mother****er to get it, I'm going to be gunning for you, and I'm going to take it from you, I'm going to take back, what should be mine, and I will finally get what is long-overdue to me, my ticket to have a nifty bronze made statue of me sitting in the Halls, high above Steve Awesome, high above the mountain that is known as Milo Holland, I will regain my world championship, I will make it into the Hall Of Fame, and I will once again stand above you all, and look down with disgust and yell...
Filthy ****ing Primates.
Because Quite Frankly Mortal.
I'm better then you.
The scene opens up, as we see Ashlie, wearing a orange Reggie Bush Miami Dolphins Jersey, and a matching Aqua skirt entering into Adam Knite office, she softly knocks on the door, and sighs, before pushing it open, and quickly throwing her briefcase on his desk, before pulling out a piece of paper.
Adam...You know him, perhaps better then I do, he isn't going to simply allow this to happen, not only that, as the person who put his contract together, there is no grounds for you forcing him to see a shrink.
No, Ashlie, that is where you are wrong, as a figurehead of this company, regardless of what is written inside someone contract, I have the authority to make sure, that all my talents are the best they can be, physically, as well as mentally, and I like Trent, he's like a brother to me, but clearly Kelly has let it lapse for far too long, on doing a psychological screening on your client.
Isn't it just convenience that, you decided to run this screening, a mere couple of hours before the Battlegrounds main event, to which he is apart of?
Well, if you client would of flown into New jersey early, this wouldn't be a problem.
You know damn well Adam, Trent isn't going to spend a moment longer then he has too in that state.
Then perhaps I should suspend him then, clearly he is just out there thinking for himself and not the company, I really wish Trent would see the light, it's like Xander said to me, he wishes, Trent would understand, that if he just falls in line, ratings will be higher and.
Shut up Adam, you know that is bull****, if you believe Xander cares about the ratings, Is he really going to argue with a man, who only cares about money and ratings, Trent runs a *** damn production company, you know this, He know what is needed to make money in the entertainment business, has this position of power, blinded you?
Adam suddenly moves in, putting his arm on Ashlie shoulder.
Why are you fighting me on this one Ashlie, is this really about Trent, or the fact, you still haven't given up on us.
Ashlie pushes away.
Why are you pulling that card, you made it clear back in May, that this is only about you and Kelly, you pushed your own best friend away, but you're Adam Knite, you're resourceful, and hand a new best friend, in your wife hired lackey, the keys to your kingdom.
Trent bought it on himself Ashlie.
So why are you just flat out ignoring his calls then?
Adam remains silent, and looks down at his desk.
Well, I'm a busy man, but perhaps you can give a message to your client, boyfriend, whatever he decides to be on this day, He is expected to show up to the arena early tomorrow for the screening, and also inform him, that the following week, that his sister is needed for action.
Why?
The Starlet's Road to the Gold is coming up, and I planning on pushing it as far as I can, to make sure that the Starlet Division is given it due, so I began to acquire outside talents to fill the brackets, and a sister of a former World Champion, granted a delusional world champion on the decline, but one none the less, can bring some much needed push into the division.
You didn't answer my question Adam, Trent didn't want his sister here, hell as far as I know, she signed to a contract with Pride, so why Adam?
I'm sorry Ashlie, I wish I had more time to talk, but it's hard running this company, and being a champion with high standards at the same time.
Ashlie looks frustrated, as she grabs her bag from the nearby chair and trying to keep her composure, walks out of the ring, She turns a corner, and walks into another room, where Trent is seen, still wearing the same purple hoodie we saw him in, when he assault Charlie Velez, the hood is up, but you can see, Trent hasn't been exactly been taking care of himself. as his face is rather scoffy, Ashlie looks at him and sighs.
You not going to like the news I got.
What is it?
You have to take the screening.
Trent smiles.
Not a problem, kinda expected it, just was seeing if Adam is being by the book, or if he is going to follow the path of his rogue wife.
Ashlie sighs.
That's not the bad news.
What is?
Ashlie tries to think of a way to put this, without upsetting her soon to be husband.
Your sister is in nCw.....
What? Why is Charity being bought in? I didn't want her to come into this hostile environment, when I'm about to move within striking distance of turning this promotion around....
Trent stands up, and looks around, before kicking a water bottle off the nearby chair.
Adam, claims she is being bought in for a huge women tournament.
*** damn It...I didn't want her here, I was hoping, she wouldn't have to ever deal with the darkness this promotion puts into people.
Look Trent, I know you're upset, but you should at-least be happy for your sister, she made it, to the biggest promotion in the world, without your help, without you pulling strings, you should be happy for your sister, that her, and her talents alone got her signed to nCw.
Trent looks around and sighs...
You're right....I just worried that's all...I'm about to engage in a war with the brass of this place, and I'm just worried I won't be able to protect her, I guess, I'm going to have to change how I do things, I'm going to have to tread carefully for once, if I'm going to pull this off, I'm going to have to plan ahead for once, instead of only having one plan of a attack.
Which is?
Attack!
Oh....
Trent sighs, and stands up, and wraps his arms around Ashlie.
Watch over her for me?
Ashlie simply nods.
Well, I guess, your crazy soon to be husband, has a mental screening to get too..
Ashlie nods..
You're be fine....
Trent kisses her, as the scene cuts to black.
But is that all we judge things by, how long your title runs are? Then maybe we should just revert back to who carries the biggest stick, well, my team is screwed then, I mean on one end, You have a seven foot monster, who has to be carrying a thickness the size of a redwood tree, then you have the Famularo, who are known for their size, despite the fact, they finish long before the recipient can even pretend to fake the big O, even with the handicap of a Latino on their side, Team Jacobsen doesn't stand a fighting chance, based on the disappointing look, Zelda gave him, Oh Blow me Kelly, she is based on 65.5 percent of my DNA, so I will mention her by name all I want, if you have a problem with that, I will proceed to fly up to Memphis, throw tons of the hard earned money I gained in that contract you gave me at a Stripper, and proceed to punch her in the face, and involke a no-contact clause in my contract, I might be doing that anyways, been meaning to try that personal force-field I created for myself out, but until then, I'm going to exit out of the first person view, and enter back into the third, because it's just cool when I do that.
The truth is, I'm really back for one reason, It's not to win Andrew Jacobsen a world championship, it's not because I have a death wish, in facing a seven foot monster, who just last year, in the same environment, Power-bombed Rob Diamond half way to New Zealand, nor do I have some unfinished beef with Charlie Velez, as one would suggested, because I did my best impersonation of Keenu Reeves to his Gavin Rosedale in Constantine this past week.
It's because of Xander Famularo, the bastard nephew of mine, to which I'm not even remotely related to, unless you count that one creepy fan of mine, and his weird, but highly arousing fan fiction to where I jerked off into a Turkey Baster, and inserted it into Betty White vagina, and 9 months later, Gib was created, which is in no way, an accurate turn of events, on how the man, is the father of at least nine children here was created, if you count that one, we'll related somehow.
Xander, it's not even really you, to who I'm pissed off at, I mean, I can't say anything, because if the roles were reversed, I would of done exactly the same thing you did, and cashed in on a weakened man, and took his World Championship away from him, I'm not mad at that, truth is, I didn't get the job done against Ricky Johnson, You did, so there is no hard feelings there.
But at least I would of been man enough, to look you dead in the eyes, and tell you the same thing, as opposed to sending your female clone after me, as a distraction, before leveling in, and sending me back to the mystical land of Toronto, Canada.
But I'm not about to pull a Ace, and read back your promo to you, from my view.
No, I'm better then that.
I'm going to have sex with your mother.
Wait....I'm not going to Steve Awesome you, despite the fact, that I'm posting this promo, pretty last minute, I guess as screw you to Kelly Knite, not for doing this to me.
But because you booked the damn show in New Jersey, the one state I can't seem to stand, because, everytime I come here, I leave looking like the annoying orange from them Youtube Videos, due to spray-on tanning, and for some reason, I begin to fist pump uncontrollably, and scream loudly and yell nonsense, even more do I do normally.
And that, is the real reason why I'm back Kelly.
Because of you, just because you couldn't let a man walk away, you talk about how you're the angry one, that Ricky Johnson nearly walked out of this promotion with your World Championship, because I didn't get the job done?
No, I'm the angry one, because you painted me as your fall guy from the beginning, just because I traded my soul for a shot at the belt, that once took enough men to fill up a Jasmine St. Claire gangbang to take away from me, You painted me the villain, I watched, as a year of hard-worked, and really what was something that was a long-time coming, finally given to me, only to watch everyone, who saw my struggles, against your husband, against Steve Awesome, against the stupidness of Jimmy Zane getting a world title shot, finally get one himself, and everyone turned on me, and for what? Some skittles that were stale....THE SKITTLES WERE STALE KELLY!!!!
It's fine Kelly, you outsmarted me, and you might of done the same again, Xander will get to finally get the Jacobsen monkey off his back, because, truth be told, unlike what my so-called Team Captain said, We're not a United Front, him and Falcon might be, but do you really think, it settles well with me Kelly, knowing that I'm going to win, someone else a World Championship?
I have nothing against the little prick, I mean, sure he stood up for my honor and all, after you sent your Quarterback of the football team after me, and ordered him to stomp and rip open my chest cavity, but it's not like he finally grew a set, when I was unable to speak for weeks, and told a now retired Hall Of Famer, who will more then likely make his return, just in time for the Riot Match, who would bad mouth me, that I didn't deserve a shot, and told him to shut the hell up, you brand jumping hypocrite...I mean, that what I would of done if I was Andrew Jacobsen, but I'm not, I'm Trent Helms, you know, the son of a bitch, who is going to John Woo Dropkick both his feet directly into your new flavor of the week golden boy Xander, and ride him like Marcus and Dom rode that Brumak at the end of Gears 2.
And do you know why Kelly.
The nearly twenty million dollars sitting in my bank account, that was personally signed over to me by you, should tell you just that.
I'm Trent Helms
And I'm Out Of This World...
And I'm Trent Helms.
And Tonight is the night, that I begin to undo, all the damage you caused, when I get payback for a man, who I respected, who did defeat me, and took the two very things I wanted for myself, the World Championship and this year Hall of Fame slot, Tonight, I avenge something, this time, not only for myself, but for a man, who I regret to say is better then I am.
Not only that, Tonight the reign of your handpicked goon ends, and the era of Bland will begin, when Andrew Jacobsen shocks the world, who like me, has been tormented by nick-names, and tragedy, and puts his name into the history books as a World Champion, a man, who has had to deal with Steve Awesome and Rob Diamond making a mockery of his career for nearly a year, Andrew Jacobsen will be your world champion by the end of tonight.
I hope you enjoy it Jacobsen....
But know this...
The moment, I give Xander a Close Encounter, that he isn't going to like or enjoy, and I pin him inside that cage, and you're handed that belt...
You become my next target, once the dust is clear, and all the confetti is done falling.
You're next, our alliance is over, and you become my next objective.
And you might of handled the wrath of Xander Famularo quite well, I don't think you will be ready for the two years worth of frustration I have, from having everything kept from me, You're not going to be ready for that Jacobsen...
Enjoy it Jacobsen, because it will not last.
I will get that belt, one way or another, whatever it takes, I don't care if I have to become a suit wearing Uncle Tom mother****er to get it, I'm going to be gunning for you, and I'm going to take it from you, I'm going to take back, what should be mine, and I will finally get what is long-overdue to me, my ticket to have a nifty bronze made statue of me sitting in the Halls, high above Steve Awesome, high above the mountain that is known as Milo Holland, I will regain my world championship, I will make it into the Hall Of Fame, and I will once again stand above you all, and look down with disgust and yell...
Filthy ****ing Primates.
Because Quite Frankly Mortal.
I'm better then you.
The scene opens up, as we see Ashlie, wearing a orange Reggie Bush Miami Dolphins Jersey, and a matching Aqua skirt entering into Adam Knite office, she softly knocks on the door, and sighs, before pushing it open, and quickly throwing her briefcase on his desk, before pulling out a piece of paper.
Adam...You know him, perhaps better then I do, he isn't going to simply allow this to happen, not only that, as the person who put his contract together, there is no grounds for you forcing him to see a shrink.
No, Ashlie, that is where you are wrong, as a figurehead of this company, regardless of what is written inside someone contract, I have the authority to make sure, that all my talents are the best they can be, physically, as well as mentally, and I like Trent, he's like a brother to me, but clearly Kelly has let it lapse for far too long, on doing a psychological screening on your client.
Isn't it just convenience that, you decided to run this screening, a mere couple of hours before the Battlegrounds main event, to which he is apart of?
Well, if you client would of flown into New jersey early, this wouldn't be a problem.
You know damn well Adam, Trent isn't going to spend a moment longer then he has too in that state.
Then perhaps I should suspend him then, clearly he is just out there thinking for himself and not the company, I really wish Trent would see the light, it's like Xander said to me, he wishes, Trent would understand, that if he just falls in line, ratings will be higher and.
Shut up Adam, you know that is bull****, if you believe Xander cares about the ratings, Is he really going to argue with a man, who only cares about money and ratings, Trent runs a *** damn production company, you know this, He know what is needed to make money in the entertainment business, has this position of power, blinded you?
Adam suddenly moves in, putting his arm on Ashlie shoulder.
Why are you fighting me on this one Ashlie, is this really about Trent, or the fact, you still haven't given up on us.
Ashlie pushes away.
Why are you pulling that card, you made it clear back in May, that this is only about you and Kelly, you pushed your own best friend away, but you're Adam Knite, you're resourceful, and hand a new best friend, in your wife hired lackey, the keys to your kingdom.
Trent bought it on himself Ashlie.
So why are you just flat out ignoring his calls then?
Adam remains silent, and looks down at his desk.
Well, I'm a busy man, but perhaps you can give a message to your client, boyfriend, whatever he decides to be on this day, He is expected to show up to the arena early tomorrow for the screening, and also inform him, that the following week, that his sister is needed for action.
Why?
The Starlet's Road to the Gold is coming up, and I planning on pushing it as far as I can, to make sure that the Starlet Division is given it due, so I began to acquire outside talents to fill the brackets, and a sister of a former World Champion, granted a delusional world champion on the decline, but one none the less, can bring some much needed push into the division.
You didn't answer my question Adam, Trent didn't want his sister here, hell as far as I know, she signed to a contract with Pride, so why Adam?
I'm sorry Ashlie, I wish I had more time to talk, but it's hard running this company, and being a champion with high standards at the same time.
Ashlie looks frustrated, as she grabs her bag from the nearby chair and trying to keep her composure, walks out of the ring, She turns a corner, and walks into another room, where Trent is seen, still wearing the same purple hoodie we saw him in, when he assault Charlie Velez, the hood is up, but you can see, Trent hasn't been exactly been taking care of himself. as his face is rather scoffy, Ashlie looks at him and sighs.
You not going to like the news I got.
What is it?
You have to take the screening.
Trent smiles.
Not a problem, kinda expected it, just was seeing if Adam is being by the book, or if he is going to follow the path of his rogue wife.
Ashlie sighs.
That's not the bad news.
What is?
Ashlie tries to think of a way to put this, without upsetting her soon to be husband.
Your sister is in nCw.....
What? Why is Charity being bought in? I didn't want her to come into this hostile environment, when I'm about to move within striking distance of turning this promotion around....
Trent stands up, and looks around, before kicking a water bottle off the nearby chair.
Adam, claims she is being bought in for a huge women tournament.
*** damn It...I didn't want her here, I was hoping, she wouldn't have to ever deal with the darkness this promotion puts into people.
Look Trent, I know you're upset, but you should at-least be happy for your sister, she made it, to the biggest promotion in the world, without your help, without you pulling strings, you should be happy for your sister, that her, and her talents alone got her signed to nCw.
Trent looks around and sighs...
You're right....I just worried that's all...I'm about to engage in a war with the brass of this place, and I'm just worried I won't be able to protect her, I guess, I'm going to have to change how I do things, I'm going to have to tread carefully for once, if I'm going to pull this off, I'm going to have to plan ahead for once, instead of only having one plan of a attack.
Which is?
Attack!
Oh....
Trent sighs, and stands up, and wraps his arms around Ashlie.
Watch over her for me?
Ashlie simply nods.
Well, I guess, your crazy soon to be husband, has a mental screening to get too..
Ashlie nods..
You're be fine....
Trent kisses her, as the scene cuts to black.