Post by Gib on Oct 26, 2012 11:23:49 GMT -6
To say this match means a lot to me is an understatement. I am a few days away from breaking a record that people said would never be broken, Simon and I have defied the critics and changed the landscape of the tag team division, we have stood tall and constantly defeated those that step up and call us some fluke, and in doing so I have forged a bond with a man who is more beautiful then Edward Cullen combined with the glorious abs of Jacob Black. He has the glorious voice of Cee Lo Green and the compassion of Mother Theresa.
I am a lucky man who has been able to spend a great deal of time with Simon Daye, a man who if at some point doesn’t become the president of the United States of America, will force me to openly defy this country and renounce my claim to the throne.
This month isn’t going to be easy, sure, I was part of a tag team that beat the current world champion, sure a mere two months ago I beat the man that is challenging the current champion in singles competition but I feel, right now at this moment in time Alex Jones is going to be wrestling like he has nothing left.
Well… Because he doesn’t…
His consistent ability to bloviate beyond recognition has left him susceptible to many rear entrance attacks. He always talks a big game and normally doesn’t back it up. Last month he called my son out saying that he was the man that he could defeat him and that Andrew Jacobsen couldn’t. And what happened again? He ended up counting the lights on the ceiling of the arena. Jones, I know that you think you are the finest wrestler in the world, and that your abs are the nicest of all the abs, but let’s be honest, Simon’s abs are truly abs that should be used for a buffet table, I mean tell me that you don’t want to eat turkey, gravy and mashed potatoes off those. If you say you don’t then I will openly call you a homotard to your face, and yes, I have already trademarked the word homotard so don’t you dare use it.
So Alex, I know you feel that throughout the history of this place that you have been overlooked, but I daresay reality should eventually sink in. You aren’t the world champion because you aren’t elite. Don’t get me wrong, you are still a good wrestler and could hold a secondary title for a long time but you aren’t the top dog and I don’t think you ever will be.
I think the main reason my ideology about you is true is because you aren’t willing to take responsibility for your shortcomings, in your mind you are the greatest man in the world, and no one gives you a shot, and when you lose there is always a giant line of excuses but never once do you look at your mistake and fix it. That is why every week people call you a bridesmaid, that is why are always mingling in the midcard.
Take a look time, take a look at why you are what you are, take a look at the same mistakes you make week after week, and then.
Fix the ****ing things…
Because I am going to Pearl Harbor your ass, and I mean that both figuratively and literally, but I will have to ask Simon first.
{Scene opens to Gib in his dining area, he sits alone at a table, Simon walks in and takes seat next to him, Gib smiles and looks over at his protégé, a fine specimen, a fine piece of man meat}
Gib: That’s my boy right there, thanks for coming. I thought for sure that this table would be full, I invited all of my family here but it seems at times, life is too busy, that life is too difficult to take time out, but you, you my glorious and beautiful man you came, and you will come again, there is no doubt about that. I know you will come again because I can trust you.
{Simon looks confused and a bit disgusted not knowing whether Gib is using a figurative meaning of the word come or the literal translation, making the situation a little more ruddy he gets up and stands behind Simon, slowly and gently rubbing his shoulders}
Gib: See, I can always count on you Simon, you are the sunshine of my light, you and I, we have an excellent opportunity this weekend, we can forever be known as the men who have the longest tag title reign in the history of ncw. We have that chance, and we can’t throw it away, like the lives of so many little Famularo’s have been thrown away in the tip of a condom…
{Gib grabs the sides of Simon’s head and starts massaging the area behind his ears}
Gib: See, this is a good sinus massage, one that is going to make sure you are clear headed, we will have to clear all our pipes and internal plumbing to make sure that we are ready for war, we don’t want anything clouding our thoughts. Do you understand what I am saying Simon?
{Simon turns and Gib takes his hands back}
Simon: You want me to masturbate before the match?
Gib: Of course I do, there are many ways this can happen but it is absolutely necessary. I can’t have you worried about making a deposit at tuna town in the middle of this match; this is the big show, defending the titles against these two spunk deposit boxes will make us the greatest tag team in the history of ncw, we have defeated everyone, and now we will beat the guys who couldn’t win the road to the gold.
Simon: It is kind of funny how the two of them lost the road to the gold but got another chance at this.
Gib: I don’t think it is “ha ha” funny as much as it is “hey look at the two retards that can’t win singles matches so we spliced them into a tag team” funny.
Simon: That isn’t exactly what I was thinking, but it could basically be the same.
Gib: Stand up Simon…
Simon: What?
Gib: Stand up…
{Simon stands up and Gib reaches back to the rocky mountains and hits his ass with the most vicious ass slap ever, Simon jumps a little}
Gib: Good ****ing game Simon, good game…
{Scene fades as Simon says something about needing an ice pack}
So Ken Davison, I loved your little comment comparing our match with the American’s battle with the Vietcong, there are a few variables that are in no way the same which makes your comparison mindless and beyond incomprehensible. I know, you like to throw big words around, but you truly have a case of logorrhea because the things you say, have of the time are out of context and the other half make no sense.
You can’t just slip a word like pretentious into every sentence and hope no one notices. It doesn’t work that way, so before I begin this week I beg you, stick to the monosyllabic words that you have been accustomed to using throughout your career, ignore any inclination to use big boy words because, well, you aren’t very smart to be honest. Whereas I, I command a bounteous bevy of bilabial babble, alliteration aside.
You are no rookie Davison, this isn’t your first rodeo and I know that. I know that you have been around the block, but don’t you realize that every place we have been I have always been a step higher then you, I have always been in the main title scene. You always seem to be straggling behind in some regard, doesn’t that teach you something?
To me, it shows that you are used to being in the shadows, you are used to being second rate and for you to ignore that type of information certainly shows how absentminded and ignorant you are to the actual events of the surrounding world. You need to open your eyes, you see. Talent won’t get you to the top, you have to be able to think critically and understand mistakes. I am as good as I am because I have made mistake after mistake.
I could use a hundred idioms here, or make a thousand clichés about how I have been at the top of the world and the bottom of a coal mine. But everyone knows that, I am no enigma, I wear my heart on my sleeve and am exactly who I say I am.
And that is the difference between Simon and I, and you and Alex. We aren’t gimmicks. We aren’t phoenixes perpetually rising from the ashes of our failings, we aren’t megalomaniacs preaching the failings of others and other stupid points that no one cares about.
See, we excel in what we do because we are honest and straight forward about who we are and what are issued are. You want to know my weaknesses? Feel free to watch the tapes of the thousands of matches I have wrestled in my career, from the day I started twenty eight long years ago. You call yourself a veteran of the game Ken, but you know what… Compared to me, you are a newborn child.
Davison, I am no joke, I am no plaything in that ring. I represent what the very best in this world is. I represent a person who cares more about this business then any of you self serving fly by night truck stop attending wannabe’s could even imagine.
And I will prove it this weekend, I will prove it again as I have so many times in the past...
I am going to Rock again…
Until I can no longer stand…
{Scene opens again, this time Gib is on the couch, watching a program on the television. Sydney comes in and sits down next to him, putting her head on his shoulder, a smile spreads over his face as large as the earth.}
Gib: Hey sugar plum, I thought you were hanging out with Simon tonight…
Sydney: No, he said something about needing to “take care of some business” whatever that means, plus I thought that I should spend some time with you.
Gib: Well, I couldn’t be happier about that. But there is no way I am watching butt entrance volume 16 with you…
{He turns the television off and looks at his daughter, a tear forms in his eyes and she looks up noticing it}
Sydney: What’s wrong Dad? Are you ok?
Gib: Honestly, I couldn’t be better. My daughter is where she belongs; she is dating a good guy for a change instead of some maniacal ball harness. My son is slowly finding his way back to us and has a wonderful beautiful woman that he will eventually call his wife. I have lived a good life, I had a wonderful wife and I have glorious children…
{He looks down to his legs}
Gib: I have wrestled the greatest people in the world and I have signed autographs at comic book conventions for fifteen dollars just to by food…. Sydney, I guess what I am trying to say, and what I want for you, Xander, Simon and Jennifer is that you live each day, you go after each moment so that when you are my age you have no regrets. I have no regrets. I have been a humanitarian and I have been a dreg of society…
{Gib is really emotional right now. Sydney is sitting up and looking at him, not used to seeing this kind of reaction}
Gib: All I ever wanted is to be remembered, I wanted to make an impact on the business that has given me every single piece of my life and I finally feel that, through what I have done, through your accomplishments and through the accomplishments of Xander that I have done everything. I have nothing left to prove.
{Gib looks at Sydney, his eyes welled with tears and she smiles at him, and that moment causes the tears to explode from his eyes. She puts her head on his shoulder and he puts his arm around her}
Gib: Hey, I taped Super Mario Brothers the movie starring Captain Lou! I thought you would love it.
Sydney: Of course I do…
{He grabs the remote as the scene fades}
I am a lucky man who has been able to spend a great deal of time with Simon Daye, a man who if at some point doesn’t become the president of the United States of America, will force me to openly defy this country and renounce my claim to the throne.
This month isn’t going to be easy, sure, I was part of a tag team that beat the current world champion, sure a mere two months ago I beat the man that is challenging the current champion in singles competition but I feel, right now at this moment in time Alex Jones is going to be wrestling like he has nothing left.
Well… Because he doesn’t…
His consistent ability to bloviate beyond recognition has left him susceptible to many rear entrance attacks. He always talks a big game and normally doesn’t back it up. Last month he called my son out saying that he was the man that he could defeat him and that Andrew Jacobsen couldn’t. And what happened again? He ended up counting the lights on the ceiling of the arena. Jones, I know that you think you are the finest wrestler in the world, and that your abs are the nicest of all the abs, but let’s be honest, Simon’s abs are truly abs that should be used for a buffet table, I mean tell me that you don’t want to eat turkey, gravy and mashed potatoes off those. If you say you don’t then I will openly call you a homotard to your face, and yes, I have already trademarked the word homotard so don’t you dare use it.
So Alex, I know you feel that throughout the history of this place that you have been overlooked, but I daresay reality should eventually sink in. You aren’t the world champion because you aren’t elite. Don’t get me wrong, you are still a good wrestler and could hold a secondary title for a long time but you aren’t the top dog and I don’t think you ever will be.
I think the main reason my ideology about you is true is because you aren’t willing to take responsibility for your shortcomings, in your mind you are the greatest man in the world, and no one gives you a shot, and when you lose there is always a giant line of excuses but never once do you look at your mistake and fix it. That is why every week people call you a bridesmaid, that is why are always mingling in the midcard.
Take a look time, take a look at why you are what you are, take a look at the same mistakes you make week after week, and then.
Fix the ****ing things…
Because I am going to Pearl Harbor your ass, and I mean that both figuratively and literally, but I will have to ask Simon first.
{Scene opens to Gib in his dining area, he sits alone at a table, Simon walks in and takes seat next to him, Gib smiles and looks over at his protégé, a fine specimen, a fine piece of man meat}
Gib: That’s my boy right there, thanks for coming. I thought for sure that this table would be full, I invited all of my family here but it seems at times, life is too busy, that life is too difficult to take time out, but you, you my glorious and beautiful man you came, and you will come again, there is no doubt about that. I know you will come again because I can trust you.
{Simon looks confused and a bit disgusted not knowing whether Gib is using a figurative meaning of the word come or the literal translation, making the situation a little more ruddy he gets up and stands behind Simon, slowly and gently rubbing his shoulders}
Gib: See, I can always count on you Simon, you are the sunshine of my light, you and I, we have an excellent opportunity this weekend, we can forever be known as the men who have the longest tag title reign in the history of ncw. We have that chance, and we can’t throw it away, like the lives of so many little Famularo’s have been thrown away in the tip of a condom…
{Gib grabs the sides of Simon’s head and starts massaging the area behind his ears}
Gib: See, this is a good sinus massage, one that is going to make sure you are clear headed, we will have to clear all our pipes and internal plumbing to make sure that we are ready for war, we don’t want anything clouding our thoughts. Do you understand what I am saying Simon?
{Simon turns and Gib takes his hands back}
Simon: You want me to masturbate before the match?
Gib: Of course I do, there are many ways this can happen but it is absolutely necessary. I can’t have you worried about making a deposit at tuna town in the middle of this match; this is the big show, defending the titles against these two spunk deposit boxes will make us the greatest tag team in the history of ncw, we have defeated everyone, and now we will beat the guys who couldn’t win the road to the gold.
Simon: It is kind of funny how the two of them lost the road to the gold but got another chance at this.
Gib: I don’t think it is “ha ha” funny as much as it is “hey look at the two retards that can’t win singles matches so we spliced them into a tag team” funny.
Simon: That isn’t exactly what I was thinking, but it could basically be the same.
Gib: Stand up Simon…
Simon: What?
Gib: Stand up…
{Simon stands up and Gib reaches back to the rocky mountains and hits his ass with the most vicious ass slap ever, Simon jumps a little}
Gib: Good ****ing game Simon, good game…
{Scene fades as Simon says something about needing an ice pack}
So Ken Davison, I loved your little comment comparing our match with the American’s battle with the Vietcong, there are a few variables that are in no way the same which makes your comparison mindless and beyond incomprehensible. I know, you like to throw big words around, but you truly have a case of logorrhea because the things you say, have of the time are out of context and the other half make no sense.
You can’t just slip a word like pretentious into every sentence and hope no one notices. It doesn’t work that way, so before I begin this week I beg you, stick to the monosyllabic words that you have been accustomed to using throughout your career, ignore any inclination to use big boy words because, well, you aren’t very smart to be honest. Whereas I, I command a bounteous bevy of bilabial babble, alliteration aside.
You are no rookie Davison, this isn’t your first rodeo and I know that. I know that you have been around the block, but don’t you realize that every place we have been I have always been a step higher then you, I have always been in the main title scene. You always seem to be straggling behind in some regard, doesn’t that teach you something?
To me, it shows that you are used to being in the shadows, you are used to being second rate and for you to ignore that type of information certainly shows how absentminded and ignorant you are to the actual events of the surrounding world. You need to open your eyes, you see. Talent won’t get you to the top, you have to be able to think critically and understand mistakes. I am as good as I am because I have made mistake after mistake.
I could use a hundred idioms here, or make a thousand clichés about how I have been at the top of the world and the bottom of a coal mine. But everyone knows that, I am no enigma, I wear my heart on my sleeve and am exactly who I say I am.
And that is the difference between Simon and I, and you and Alex. We aren’t gimmicks. We aren’t phoenixes perpetually rising from the ashes of our failings, we aren’t megalomaniacs preaching the failings of others and other stupid points that no one cares about.
See, we excel in what we do because we are honest and straight forward about who we are and what are issued are. You want to know my weaknesses? Feel free to watch the tapes of the thousands of matches I have wrestled in my career, from the day I started twenty eight long years ago. You call yourself a veteran of the game Ken, but you know what… Compared to me, you are a newborn child.
Davison, I am no joke, I am no plaything in that ring. I represent what the very best in this world is. I represent a person who cares more about this business then any of you self serving fly by night truck stop attending wannabe’s could even imagine.
And I will prove it this weekend, I will prove it again as I have so many times in the past...
I am going to Rock again…
Until I can no longer stand…
{Scene opens again, this time Gib is on the couch, watching a program on the television. Sydney comes in and sits down next to him, putting her head on his shoulder, a smile spreads over his face as large as the earth.}
Gib: Hey sugar plum, I thought you were hanging out with Simon tonight…
Sydney: No, he said something about needing to “take care of some business” whatever that means, plus I thought that I should spend some time with you.
Gib: Well, I couldn’t be happier about that. But there is no way I am watching butt entrance volume 16 with you…
{He turns the television off and looks at his daughter, a tear forms in his eyes and she looks up noticing it}
Sydney: What’s wrong Dad? Are you ok?
Gib: Honestly, I couldn’t be better. My daughter is where she belongs; she is dating a good guy for a change instead of some maniacal ball harness. My son is slowly finding his way back to us and has a wonderful beautiful woman that he will eventually call his wife. I have lived a good life, I had a wonderful wife and I have glorious children…
{He looks down to his legs}
Gib: I have wrestled the greatest people in the world and I have signed autographs at comic book conventions for fifteen dollars just to by food…. Sydney, I guess what I am trying to say, and what I want for you, Xander, Simon and Jennifer is that you live each day, you go after each moment so that when you are my age you have no regrets. I have no regrets. I have been a humanitarian and I have been a dreg of society…
{Gib is really emotional right now. Sydney is sitting up and looking at him, not used to seeing this kind of reaction}
Gib: All I ever wanted is to be remembered, I wanted to make an impact on the business that has given me every single piece of my life and I finally feel that, through what I have done, through your accomplishments and through the accomplishments of Xander that I have done everything. I have nothing left to prove.
{Gib looks at Sydney, his eyes welled with tears and she smiles at him, and that moment causes the tears to explode from his eyes. She puts her head on his shoulder and he puts his arm around her}
Gib: Hey, I taped Super Mario Brothers the movie starring Captain Lou! I thought you would love it.
Sydney: Of course I do…
{He grabs the remote as the scene fades}
In life we have to make many choices, and often we do things that we wish we didn't.
Sometimes we think back and wish we could hit the undo button, and change the past
But in the end, the only thing that really matters is this moment, this second in time and all those events the good ones and the bad ones shape us to become the people we are.
Changing just one would change the entire person that you are.
I have lived...
I have made mistakes
I have the greatest memories
But I have never, and will never second guess who I am, where I have been...
And especially not where I am going....
I suggest you two do the same.
Sometimes we think back and wish we could hit the undo button, and change the past
But in the end, the only thing that really matters is this moment, this second in time and all those events the good ones and the bad ones shape us to become the people we are.
Changing just one would change the entire person that you are.
I have lived...
I have made mistakes
I have the greatest memories
But I have never, and will never second guess who I am, where I have been...
And especially not where I am going....
I suggest you two do the same.
