Post by Xavier Williams on Oct 28, 2012 0:52:41 GMT -6
“You are a good wrestler.
But what is after that... what else is there to you?
You.. ran a school.
But what real skills are you passing onto future generations?
How are you really expanded minds?
Being a good wrestler... isn't enough. If that was the sole requirment, then everyone here would be a legend and in the Hall of Fame, everyone on this roster, can throw down in the ring... so what makes Nighthawk stand apart from the crowd.
World traveled. We've all been to Japan. Hell even some of us even wrestled there. Trained in the dojos. I've seen a lot here, but what are you bringing to the table, Hawk?
Nothing new... just the same old same. Stuff we've seen and heard all before.
I know you can wrestle, I know you can work... I've seen it, we've been tagging. But can you fight?”
Xavier takes a few steps away from the camera and gets his hands into a boxer's stance. He throws a couple of light jabs.
“Can you? Can you ake a good lick across on the jaw, and get up? You can 10 holds, 100, 1,000, 10,000 holds... those holds wont matter, when you are getting kicked in your chest... or punched, or slammed, do you have that will, to get back up?
We are gonna have to see that.
I know about you, I know about guys of your ilk. You're accomplished, did some things here and there but as you have now seen, it doesn't matter now. Once you enter nCw, it's what have you dont for me... lately.
All your past accomplishments are left in the past. Even then ones you get here... don't matter. All those titles runs, all that past glory in nCw, for me.. doesn't mean squat. I don't dwell on that, I only use that a motivation to drive me... to drive me FORWARD! I had the taste and for the last few years I am been gunning to get that taste back, to climb that mountain, and it always seems... like when I am so close..
Right when it is at my finger tips... it slips away. And I have to work at it again.
And I have to start my climb again. Start back at zero. And it happens again and again, sooner or later you want to quit... you want to throw your hands up and just walk away,and I'll admit, I've been at tat point, a few weeks ago, I was ready to quit.
Ready to walk... no Brad Kane bull****, I was gonna hang up the boots, and call it a day, if it wasn't gonna happen, it wasn't No point in chasing an impossible dream. Then this tag thing happened, and I wasn't focused on it... honestly, I didn't think we'd even get past week one. But... somehow we did, and then go bumped the next week, but you se that failing, didn't bother me, because I was expecting to fail... You see, while I never officially quit, I had mentally quit. And it wasn't fair.
Wasn't fair to the fans, wasn't fair to nCw... wasn't fair to you. Hell you showed up, you were ready, giving it your all, and I was there... I didn't care, win or loss, it didn't matter. When we loss, I wasn't mad, I wasn't even the tiniest bit bothered, I just grabbed my bag, changed... and hopped in the cab and waited for my flight.
This past week, I've been between, if I wanted to put effort into this... or if I wanted to actually try. I was at that point, where win or loss, I'd just grab my bag... and wait for the next one.. and that was how I was gonna play out my career. But I can't do that. I can't be the guy who sticks around for too long. The drunk at the bar, who stays until the bitter end, before stumbling out. I can't be that guy.
You see I had that moment... that revelation. That, it doesn't matter where I go,,, doesn't matter if I win another belt, it doesn't matter what happens to me, that I am gonna go out there and give my all, because that is the only thing I can control, and whatever falls into place... will fall where it wants to. And it might seem crazy for me to say this, and while I say, 'forget the past' you listen to what other people say...they will say, “Xavier Williams is a hard worker, always brings his best”.
I had to steop being angry, I had to stop being bitter, I had to stop throwing my own private pity and just accept what happened. I need to go back to being the Xavier... who set a standard, and that was not looking back, not worrying about what he USED to be... The guy who let losses roll off the back, the guy who had a swagger in his step. Everyone wants to remember, ruthless Xavier... the Xavier who tried to end a man's career... on multiple occasions. And that was only a small part.. of what I really am.
You see, even what I was doing dirt, I was driven, I was confident. It didn't matter what the odds were, I knew going into it, I was gonna walk out the winner, I had my goals in my head. Make sure whoever was in the ring with me, didn't walk out. And now...
I am not that guy. I lost that confidence. I lost that step. I lost that constant, where I was being a complete asshole or playing Mr. Nice Guy was that no matter what he put effort into his work. He came into any battle prepared.
So what does this have to do with Nighthawk. Honestly.. nothing... not a damn thing.
Silly huh?
Listen... don't worry about what I used to be... worry about what I am, worry about the current Xavier. You can watch all the tapes, but that Xavier is gone. Buried with the rest of the past. I guess this is my second wind... I guess this is my revival, heh. I spent the last few ears chasing a ghost of my past... chasing something that was never gonna happen. Instead of just being me... instead of being that guy who kicked ass, and created that buzz, I tried to be what other people THOUGHT I was, I've taken my lumps and never backed down... you can look me in the eyes and know I have been tested.
So I ask you... Can you fight?
Can yo comeback from the edge... from almost quitting, a not only comeback, but overcome what was knocking you down?
I will test you Nighthawk... I will see if you have that resolve. I will see if you can hang in a fight. You can bring all the chain wrestling and ring acumen you want, I've studied with legends and watched the tapes, but that bit of mental toughness, having to face yourself... You can run all the drills.
All the workouts, run for miles, and lift the heaviest weights... this is a mental game. And I was letting the game play me, and that is over, I'm back.
Don't care if you believe or not... I know it, and that is all that matters.”
Fade to black.
But what is after that... what else is there to you?
You.. ran a school.
But what real skills are you passing onto future generations?
How are you really expanded minds?
Being a good wrestler... isn't enough. If that was the sole requirment, then everyone here would be a legend and in the Hall of Fame, everyone on this roster, can throw down in the ring... so what makes Nighthawk stand apart from the crowd.
World traveled. We've all been to Japan. Hell even some of us even wrestled there. Trained in the dojos. I've seen a lot here, but what are you bringing to the table, Hawk?
Nothing new... just the same old same. Stuff we've seen and heard all before.
I know you can wrestle, I know you can work... I've seen it, we've been tagging. But can you fight?”
Xavier takes a few steps away from the camera and gets his hands into a boxer's stance. He throws a couple of light jabs.
“Can you? Can you ake a good lick across on the jaw, and get up? You can 10 holds, 100, 1,000, 10,000 holds... those holds wont matter, when you are getting kicked in your chest... or punched, or slammed, do you have that will, to get back up?
We are gonna have to see that.
I know about you, I know about guys of your ilk. You're accomplished, did some things here and there but as you have now seen, it doesn't matter now. Once you enter nCw, it's what have you dont for me... lately.
All your past accomplishments are left in the past. Even then ones you get here... don't matter. All those titles runs, all that past glory in nCw, for me.. doesn't mean squat. I don't dwell on that, I only use that a motivation to drive me... to drive me FORWARD! I had the taste and for the last few years I am been gunning to get that taste back, to climb that mountain, and it always seems... like when I am so close..
Right when it is at my finger tips... it slips away. And I have to work at it again.
And I have to start my climb again. Start back at zero. And it happens again and again, sooner or later you want to quit... you want to throw your hands up and just walk away,and I'll admit, I've been at tat point, a few weeks ago, I was ready to quit.
Ready to walk... no Brad Kane bull****, I was gonna hang up the boots, and call it a day, if it wasn't gonna happen, it wasn't No point in chasing an impossible dream. Then this tag thing happened, and I wasn't focused on it... honestly, I didn't think we'd even get past week one. But... somehow we did, and then go bumped the next week, but you se that failing, didn't bother me, because I was expecting to fail... You see, while I never officially quit, I had mentally quit. And it wasn't fair.
Wasn't fair to the fans, wasn't fair to nCw... wasn't fair to you. Hell you showed up, you were ready, giving it your all, and I was there... I didn't care, win or loss, it didn't matter. When we loss, I wasn't mad, I wasn't even the tiniest bit bothered, I just grabbed my bag, changed... and hopped in the cab and waited for my flight.
This past week, I've been between, if I wanted to put effort into this... or if I wanted to actually try. I was at that point, where win or loss, I'd just grab my bag... and wait for the next one.. and that was how I was gonna play out my career. But I can't do that. I can't be the guy who sticks around for too long. The drunk at the bar, who stays until the bitter end, before stumbling out. I can't be that guy.
You see I had that moment... that revelation. That, it doesn't matter where I go,,, doesn't matter if I win another belt, it doesn't matter what happens to me, that I am gonna go out there and give my all, because that is the only thing I can control, and whatever falls into place... will fall where it wants to. And it might seem crazy for me to say this, and while I say, 'forget the past' you listen to what other people say...they will say, “Xavier Williams is a hard worker, always brings his best”.
I had to steop being angry, I had to stop being bitter, I had to stop throwing my own private pity and just accept what happened. I need to go back to being the Xavier... who set a standard, and that was not looking back, not worrying about what he USED to be... The guy who let losses roll off the back, the guy who had a swagger in his step. Everyone wants to remember, ruthless Xavier... the Xavier who tried to end a man's career... on multiple occasions. And that was only a small part.. of what I really am.
You see, even what I was doing dirt, I was driven, I was confident. It didn't matter what the odds were, I knew going into it, I was gonna walk out the winner, I had my goals in my head. Make sure whoever was in the ring with me, didn't walk out. And now...
I am not that guy. I lost that confidence. I lost that step. I lost that constant, where I was being a complete asshole or playing Mr. Nice Guy was that no matter what he put effort into his work. He came into any battle prepared.
So what does this have to do with Nighthawk. Honestly.. nothing... not a damn thing.
Silly huh?
Listen... don't worry about what I used to be... worry about what I am, worry about the current Xavier. You can watch all the tapes, but that Xavier is gone. Buried with the rest of the past. I guess this is my second wind... I guess this is my revival, heh. I spent the last few ears chasing a ghost of my past... chasing something that was never gonna happen. Instead of just being me... instead of being that guy who kicked ass, and created that buzz, I tried to be what other people THOUGHT I was, I've taken my lumps and never backed down... you can look me in the eyes and know I have been tested.
So I ask you... Can you fight?
Can yo comeback from the edge... from almost quitting, a not only comeback, but overcome what was knocking you down?
I will test you Nighthawk... I will see if you have that resolve. I will see if you can hang in a fight. You can bring all the chain wrestling and ring acumen you want, I've studied with legends and watched the tapes, but that bit of mental toughness, having to face yourself... You can run all the drills.
All the workouts, run for miles, and lift the heaviest weights... this is a mental game. And I was letting the game play me, and that is over, I'm back.
Don't care if you believe or not... I know it, and that is all that matters.”
Fade to black.
