Post by Bannedingo on Dec 13, 2007 12:16:56 GMT -6
*camera fades in to Vertigo sitting backstage at a really small Oregon based promotion talking with a man sitting at a oak desk with papers neatly organized. Vertigo is dressed to compete and the other man is wearing a gray suit*
Vertigo: so i come in and beat the hell out of your champ.. and you pay me 20,000 dollars?
Owner: Correct.
Vertigo: I'm in. can i plug my pay per view match while im here?
Owner: I'll give you a live mike.. say whatever you want were only broadcasting from Portland to Boardmen.
Vertigo: alright. can you give me a time crunch?
Owner: right after the match.
Vertigo: OK then just have my music ready.
*Vertigo walks out of the office into a private dressing room where Rick Ramsey is waiting for him*
Rick: hey Vertigo, have time for a interview?
Vertigo: yeah i guess.
Rick: well first off Big L said that he was more dominant than you. your response?
Vertigo: dominant? he hasn't won a match since he's been here. im never going to brag about my win loss record because its not too flattering but at least I've done something.
Rick: he also continues to call Joe Everyman gay. does it bother either one of you?
Vertigo: well.. embarrassingly enough i walked in on him scoring with Maria in the back of our carpool last week.. he's not gay.
*Vertigo and Rick begin to laugh*
Rick: what about Jake Kane?
Vertigo: Jake kidnapped my daughter and I've never had a shot at him. if he shows up at metamorphosis hes dead.
Rick: strong words.
Vertigo: strong actions call for strong words and scum like Double Trouble make me sick. their actions outside the ring are those of street thugs and their actions in the ring illustrate the fact that they have no talent. Joe and I can function in society.. but Jake and Big are the guys who masturbate in the back of the public buses.
Rick: but doesn't Moses..
Vertigo: i don't want to know.. any more questions?
Rick: oh, just one more. when is Kira going to have the baby? I've heard reports that she's already gone into labor.
Vertigo: no not yet.. it could be any time now though im on my toes 24/7.
*Vertigo looks over at the monitor and sees that the match is almost over*
Vertigo: we'll i gotta go Rick. we'll pick this up later.
*Vertigo stands up grabs his title and a mike and walks out the door and by the time he reaches the curtain his music plays as the arena blacks out*
"Im not the one who's so far away
When I feel the snake bite enter my veins.
Never did I wanna be here again,
And I don't remember why I came"
*a lighter fog rises from the low budget entrance ramp*
"Candles raise my desire,
Why Im so far away.
No more meaning to my life,
No more reason to stay"
*the OWA champion, Worm grabs a mike and switches it on*
Worm: this is just another trick!! Slayer get your ass out here so i can take you down once and for all!!
"Freezing, feeling,
Breathe in, breathe in...
Im coming back again..."
*a huge explosion of pyro erupts down the entrance ramp and out the turnbuckles and Vertigo walks through the curtain holding the title causing a extremely loud pop from the crowd. Vertigo stands at the top of the ramp as the lights turn back on and filter purple and the smoke rises over his legs*
Vertigo: oh no Worm.. the only trick here.. is how you tricked my good friend Slayer into trusting you.. just so you could steal his title..
*Vertigo walks down the ramp as Worm stares in awe while the pop continues*
Vertigo: the only trick here.. is how you managed to beat your opponent tonight..
*Worm begins the back away as Vertigo climbs onto the apron*
Vertigo: the only trick here.. is going to be the trick that im going to end your career with..
*Vertigo climbs over the top rope and Worm turns around and runs straight into Joe Everyman who knees him in the ribs and puts him in a full nelson making the crowd pop even louder. Vertigo gets into Worm's face and stars to scream at him*
Vertigo: HOWS THIS FOR A TRICK!?
*Vertigo walks back and superkicks Worm knocking him out cold*
Vertigo: Slayer!! get out here!!
*Slayer runs down the ramp into the ring*
Vertigo: get a ref down here now!
*the ref jumps back into the ring*
Vertigo: ladies and gentlemen! this match is for the OWA world championship!!
*the crowd begins to scream*
Vertigo: ring the bell!!
*the bell rings and both the members of The Cult jump over the top rope. Slayer looks at worm and looks at Vertigo and mouths the word "ME!?" Vertigo nods and Slayer pins Worm. 1...2...3!! Vertigo and Joe slide into the ring*
Vertigo: ladies and gentlemen!! the winner and new OWA world champion!! The Slayer!!
*the crowd starts chanting his name as he celebrates and leaves the ring*
Vertigo: OK now for the shameless plug!
*Joe grabs a mike from the announcer*
Joe: everybody loves plugs!!
Vertigo: if you liked this ultimate domination of your former champion watch another easy win this Sunday at Metamorphosis where the cult will convert the team of Big L and Jake Kane!!
Joe: oh and there are other matches too!.. like dragons den and.. you know what.. just watch our match because the others are going to blow.
Vertigo: and if we get fired for that previous comment then we'll end up back here!
*Vertigo and Joe leave the ring and walk through the curtain and into the owner's office*
Vertigo & Joe: money!
*the owner pays Vertigo and Joe and they walk out the back door into the parking lot*
Vertigo: OK man meet me at my house in a hour with the stuff your taking and Maria if she wants to come and I'll get the bus ready.
Joe: cool, god its gonne be a long trip.
Vertigo: theres worse.. trust me.
*Vertigo and Joe get into their cars and drive opposite directions*
*Vertigo pulls into his driveway and walks into the house where Kira ,Zoya, and Duke have packed suitcases*
Vertigo: i got paid!
*Kira runs up to Vertigo and smiles*
Kira: hey baby.. i saw this really cute..
Vertigo: how much?
Kira: 500
Vertigo: done.
*Vertigo gives Kira the money and she kisses him*
Vertigo: i love my life..
*Vertigo walks out the door into his over sized luxury bus*
Vertigo: we need ramen and beer..
*Vertigo walks back into the house and 10 minutes later he comes out with 5 boxes of ramen and 10 cases of rolling rock and a laptop*
Vertigo: Kira! Zoya! Duke! bring your stuff around the back!
*a few seconds later they all come out of the house carrying suitcases and they start loading them into the back room and Kira walks into the Bus*
Kira: everythings on.
Vertigo: cool. lets get everybody on and wait for Joe.
Kira: what about Damien?
Vertigo: he wanted to go on his own.
Kira: he scares the hell out of me too..
Vertigo: me too.. but who cares.
*Joe and Maria park their car across the street and Joe gets stuck carrying the suitcases*
Kira: Maria is coming too?
Vertigo: i guess.. don't you like her?
Kira: yeah shes hot..
Vertigo: what?
Kira: huh?
*Vertigo helps Joe with the suitcases and they climb onto the bus*
Joe: hows it going guys?
Vertigo: exhausted. were all ready so lets get our black asses out of here.
*Maria climbs onto the bus and shuts the door*
Maria: who's driving?
Duke: i am.
*Duke walks to the front of the bus and sits in the driver seat*
Vertigo: wait!.. Joe i just got an awesome idea grab some black spray paint and follow me.
*Joe walks out the door with Vertigo with a bag full of spray paint and they stare at the side of the white van*
Joe: oh hell yeah!
*they both grab the spray paint cans and in a few minutes and a bunch of spray paint cans later have "THE CULT VD-JE" spray painted on the side of the van and they jump back in*
Kira: that looks kick ass!
Duke: agreed!
Joe: hey dude.. where are we sleeping?
Vertigo: this S.O.B has 3 bedrooms and a fold out couch. one for me and Kira one for you and Maria and one for Duke and Zoya will sleep on the fold out.
Joe: how much did this cost?!
Vertigo: alot.. the end
*Duke starts the bus and starts driving out of Portland. everybody sits down at the big table by the window*
Vertigo & Joe: ROAD TRIP!!
Kira & Maria: oh god..
Vertigo: hey Joe, after we beat double dump we should go to Nevada. they have some bad ass clubs there.
Joe: hell yeah man! reno has this awesome strip club that...
*Maria glares at him*
Vertigo: wow..someone's not getting laid tonight.
*Vertigo pulls out a deck of cards*
Joe: what the hell.. do you carry those with you all the time?
Vertigo: yeah.. so?
*Zoya starts watching sponge bob on a portable DVD player*
*Vertigo goes over to the cupboard and throws Kira a pack of skittles and a can of rock star, throws Joe a bag of pop rocks and a can of Monster, throws Maria a Poweraide, throws Zoya a box of apple juice and animal crackers, and grabs a coke for himself*
Vertigo: this trip is going to take about 30 hours.. spread that out 3 days and we'll get to Chicago in enough time to get a motel room and some sleep before Metamorphosis.
Joe: we've got enough food and entertainment to last that long. this should be fun.
Duke: hey Vert! throw me a beer!
*Vertigo grabs a rolling rock and throws it to Duke*
Maria: dude!! he's driving!
Kira: relax it takes 20 beers just to buzz this man.
Vertigo: hes a drinkin' machine!
Joe: hey man isn't there a satellite on this thing?
Vertigo: oh yeah!
*Vertigo hits a button under the table and a huge TV slides out from the ceiling and turns on*
Joe: holy ****!
Vertigo: yep.
*Vertigo changes the channel to Big L's promo and in a few econds everyone is close to tears from laughter*
Vertigo: its official!! were winning!!
*Camera fades out*
*to be continued*
Vertigo: so i come in and beat the hell out of your champ.. and you pay me 20,000 dollars?
Owner: Correct.
Vertigo: I'm in. can i plug my pay per view match while im here?
Owner: I'll give you a live mike.. say whatever you want were only broadcasting from Portland to Boardmen.
Vertigo: alright. can you give me a time crunch?
Owner: right after the match.
Vertigo: OK then just have my music ready.
*Vertigo walks out of the office into a private dressing room where Rick Ramsey is waiting for him*
Rick: hey Vertigo, have time for a interview?
Vertigo: yeah i guess.
Rick: well first off Big L said that he was more dominant than you. your response?
Vertigo: dominant? he hasn't won a match since he's been here. im never going to brag about my win loss record because its not too flattering but at least I've done something.
Rick: he also continues to call Joe Everyman gay. does it bother either one of you?
Vertigo: well.. embarrassingly enough i walked in on him scoring with Maria in the back of our carpool last week.. he's not gay.
*Vertigo and Rick begin to laugh*
Rick: what about Jake Kane?
Vertigo: Jake kidnapped my daughter and I've never had a shot at him. if he shows up at metamorphosis hes dead.
Rick: strong words.
Vertigo: strong actions call for strong words and scum like Double Trouble make me sick. their actions outside the ring are those of street thugs and their actions in the ring illustrate the fact that they have no talent. Joe and I can function in society.. but Jake and Big are the guys who masturbate in the back of the public buses.
Rick: but doesn't Moses..
Vertigo: i don't want to know.. any more questions?
Rick: oh, just one more. when is Kira going to have the baby? I've heard reports that she's already gone into labor.
Vertigo: no not yet.. it could be any time now though im on my toes 24/7.
*Vertigo looks over at the monitor and sees that the match is almost over*
Vertigo: we'll i gotta go Rick. we'll pick this up later.
*Vertigo stands up grabs his title and a mike and walks out the door and by the time he reaches the curtain his music plays as the arena blacks out*
"Im not the one who's so far away
When I feel the snake bite enter my veins.
Never did I wanna be here again,
And I don't remember why I came"
*a lighter fog rises from the low budget entrance ramp*
"Candles raise my desire,
Why Im so far away.
No more meaning to my life,
No more reason to stay"
*the OWA champion, Worm grabs a mike and switches it on*
Worm: this is just another trick!! Slayer get your ass out here so i can take you down once and for all!!
"Freezing, feeling,
Breathe in, breathe in...
Im coming back again..."
*a huge explosion of pyro erupts down the entrance ramp and out the turnbuckles and Vertigo walks through the curtain holding the title causing a extremely loud pop from the crowd. Vertigo stands at the top of the ramp as the lights turn back on and filter purple and the smoke rises over his legs*
Vertigo: oh no Worm.. the only trick here.. is how you tricked my good friend Slayer into trusting you.. just so you could steal his title..
*Vertigo walks down the ramp as Worm stares in awe while the pop continues*
Vertigo: the only trick here.. is how you managed to beat your opponent tonight..
*Worm begins the back away as Vertigo climbs onto the apron*
Vertigo: the only trick here.. is going to be the trick that im going to end your career with..
*Vertigo climbs over the top rope and Worm turns around and runs straight into Joe Everyman who knees him in the ribs and puts him in a full nelson making the crowd pop even louder. Vertigo gets into Worm's face and stars to scream at him*
Vertigo: HOWS THIS FOR A TRICK!?
*Vertigo walks back and superkicks Worm knocking him out cold*
Vertigo: Slayer!! get out here!!
*Slayer runs down the ramp into the ring*
Vertigo: get a ref down here now!
*the ref jumps back into the ring*
Vertigo: ladies and gentlemen! this match is for the OWA world championship!!
*the crowd begins to scream*
Vertigo: ring the bell!!
*the bell rings and both the members of The Cult jump over the top rope. Slayer looks at worm and looks at Vertigo and mouths the word "ME!?" Vertigo nods and Slayer pins Worm. 1...2...3!! Vertigo and Joe slide into the ring*
Vertigo: ladies and gentlemen!! the winner and new OWA world champion!! The Slayer!!
*the crowd starts chanting his name as he celebrates and leaves the ring*
Vertigo: OK now for the shameless plug!
*Joe grabs a mike from the announcer*
Joe: everybody loves plugs!!
Vertigo: if you liked this ultimate domination of your former champion watch another easy win this Sunday at Metamorphosis where the cult will convert the team of Big L and Jake Kane!!
Joe: oh and there are other matches too!.. like dragons den and.. you know what.. just watch our match because the others are going to blow.
Vertigo: and if we get fired for that previous comment then we'll end up back here!
*Vertigo and Joe leave the ring and walk through the curtain and into the owner's office*
Vertigo & Joe: money!
*the owner pays Vertigo and Joe and they walk out the back door into the parking lot*
Vertigo: OK man meet me at my house in a hour with the stuff your taking and Maria if she wants to come and I'll get the bus ready.
Joe: cool, god its gonne be a long trip.
Vertigo: theres worse.. trust me.
*Vertigo and Joe get into their cars and drive opposite directions*
*Vertigo pulls into his driveway and walks into the house where Kira ,Zoya, and Duke have packed suitcases*
Vertigo: i got paid!
*Kira runs up to Vertigo and smiles*
Kira: hey baby.. i saw this really cute..
Vertigo: how much?
Kira: 500
Vertigo: done.
*Vertigo gives Kira the money and she kisses him*
Vertigo: i love my life..
*Vertigo walks out the door into his over sized luxury bus*
Vertigo: we need ramen and beer..
*Vertigo walks back into the house and 10 minutes later he comes out with 5 boxes of ramen and 10 cases of rolling rock and a laptop*
Vertigo: Kira! Zoya! Duke! bring your stuff around the back!
*a few seconds later they all come out of the house carrying suitcases and they start loading them into the back room and Kira walks into the Bus*
Kira: everythings on.
Vertigo: cool. lets get everybody on and wait for Joe.
Kira: what about Damien?
Vertigo: he wanted to go on his own.
Kira: he scares the hell out of me too..
Vertigo: me too.. but who cares.
*Joe and Maria park their car across the street and Joe gets stuck carrying the suitcases*
Kira: Maria is coming too?
Vertigo: i guess.. don't you like her?
Kira: yeah shes hot..
Vertigo: what?
Kira: huh?
*Vertigo helps Joe with the suitcases and they climb onto the bus*
Joe: hows it going guys?
Vertigo: exhausted. were all ready so lets get our black asses out of here.
*Maria climbs onto the bus and shuts the door*
Maria: who's driving?
Duke: i am.
*Duke walks to the front of the bus and sits in the driver seat*
Vertigo: wait!.. Joe i just got an awesome idea grab some black spray paint and follow me.
*Joe walks out the door with Vertigo with a bag full of spray paint and they stare at the side of the white van*
Joe: oh hell yeah!
*they both grab the spray paint cans and in a few minutes and a bunch of spray paint cans later have "THE CULT VD-JE" spray painted on the side of the van and they jump back in*
Kira: that looks kick ass!
Duke: agreed!
Joe: hey dude.. where are we sleeping?
Vertigo: this S.O.B has 3 bedrooms and a fold out couch. one for me and Kira one for you and Maria and one for Duke and Zoya will sleep on the fold out.
Joe: how much did this cost?!
Vertigo: alot.. the end
*Duke starts the bus and starts driving out of Portland. everybody sits down at the big table by the window*
Vertigo & Joe: ROAD TRIP!!
Kira & Maria: oh god..
Vertigo: hey Joe, after we beat double dump we should go to Nevada. they have some bad ass clubs there.
Joe: hell yeah man! reno has this awesome strip club that...
*Maria glares at him*
Vertigo: wow..someone's not getting laid tonight.
*Vertigo pulls out a deck of cards*
Joe: what the hell.. do you carry those with you all the time?
Vertigo: yeah.. so?
*Zoya starts watching sponge bob on a portable DVD player*
*Vertigo goes over to the cupboard and throws Kira a pack of skittles and a can of rock star, throws Joe a bag of pop rocks and a can of Monster, throws Maria a Poweraide, throws Zoya a box of apple juice and animal crackers, and grabs a coke for himself*
Vertigo: this trip is going to take about 30 hours.. spread that out 3 days and we'll get to Chicago in enough time to get a motel room and some sleep before Metamorphosis.
Joe: we've got enough food and entertainment to last that long. this should be fun.
Duke: hey Vert! throw me a beer!
*Vertigo grabs a rolling rock and throws it to Duke*
Maria: dude!! he's driving!
Kira: relax it takes 20 beers just to buzz this man.
Vertigo: hes a drinkin' machine!
Joe: hey man isn't there a satellite on this thing?
Vertigo: oh yeah!
*Vertigo hits a button under the table and a huge TV slides out from the ceiling and turns on*
Joe: holy ****!
Vertigo: yep.
*Vertigo changes the channel to Big L's promo and in a few econds everyone is close to tears from laughter*
Vertigo: its official!! were winning!!
*Camera fades out*
*to be continued*
