Post by Curtis D. Kanyon on Nov 29, 2012 18:34:05 GMT -6
*We open in on Curtis D Kanyon, standing next to a brick wall, twinkie in one hand, sledgehammer in the other.*
Curtis: You know, I have a soft side, and a hard side.
*Curtis raises the twinkie up to his face.*
Curtis: There are times when I can take a joy ride with some insane masked dudes, get a ton of delicious creme filled cakes, and foil my 90 year old arch nemesis.
*Curtis eats the twinkie, indulging in every chew, taking his time to masticate. He takes a deep breath as he gulds down that twinkie.*
Curtis: Ahhh. And as great as that is, as wonderful as it is, well, there are times were I just want to break ****!
*Curtis then turns and smashes the brick wall with his sledgehammer, swinging away a few times, putting a nice hole in it. Curtis turns back to the camera, huffing and puffing.*
Curtis: Rrrraaagh! So the question my opponents must ask...do they get the comedian? Or do they get the monster? The problem with my opponents is...they usually think their's a separation. In the past, even when my mind was split and I was going crazy, the man in the ring has always been one. A funny monster? A dangerous comedian? Take your pick, I don't care what you want to call me. The fact of the matter is, whatever you may think of me, my record shows that it works, and guess what? It will continue to work. The monstrosity has evolved, the comedy includes some new material, and the man has more focus and more hunger than ever!
*Curtis hoists the sledgehammer up onto his shoulder.*
Curtis: This Sunday is Breaking Away, and I've been put in a fatal four-way. Now...I was just attacked from behind by The Ace, the man who brought me to my lord, and Cross came out thinking he could save me. Like I need his help? That turncoat. That betrayer. The man who holds the last piece of my gold puzzle. So when the dawn rises the next day, I came to find I had a title match...but not the National. Not with that womanizer and that benedict tag partner. No, instead I get my other tournament tag partner, the man who took the X Title away from me. Along for the ride, Xavier Williams and Stephen Kingsley, two guys I've fought multiple times over the past few weeks.
*Curtis swings his mighty hammer around a few times and slaps the handle into his other hand.*
Curtis: A match that happens to be no DQ.
*Curtis raises his eyebrows.*
Curtis: But whatever comes to pass in the battle will be deemed worthy from the mighty Thor. So if the battle needs some spice, then think of me as your Emeril. I will kick it up a notch! BANG!
*Curtis swings the hammer into the wall again, breaking off a piece.*
Curtis: So naturally, we have to get into the breakdown. Shall we? Xavier Williams, a man who can't remember my name. But I don't blame him, I blame the terrible school system in the ATL. My name is Curtis D. Kanyon, and I will beat that into him until he finally get's it ingrained in his skull...or I will beat him until he can't remember a damn thing. William's is damn good, I won't lie. The bastard has had my number lately, I don't like it, despite the vicious beatings I've been delivering unto him, I've been coming up short. Well, no better way to balance the scales with him than by beating him and two others for a title.
*Curtis puts the hammer back over his shoulder and cracks his knuckles.*
Curtis: And then to do a 180, there's Stephen Kingsley. A vicious bugger in his own way, but a man whom I've had the number of for the past few weeks. He gets more angry, more physical every time we meet, which is great, keeps me on my toes. But I keep putting him down. I plan on continuing that trend this Sunday when I plant him into the mat with a BANG! I'm just going to run him over. His only saving grace will be the other two men in this match saving him from my fury. Not because i hate the guy, not because I'm angry at him at all, but because I know I have his number. He's my weak link in all this. War is all about strategy, to not exploit Stephen would make me a fool.
*Curtis then drops the sledgehammer head to the ground, and leans on the handle like a cane.*
Curtis: And then the man who made me a fool, Dexter Davis. Took my X championship after being my replacement partner for a few weeks. We worked well together, but not well enough. But he sure was paying attention. He got me figured out and he got the better of me. I've already said my congrats to him, and I hold no ill will toward him. It's strategy, it's smart. I would have done the same had our roles been reversed. But now Dexter gets not only me, but also two other crazy, hardened wrestlers, and he has to survive. He'd be going up hill against any one of us, but instead, he gets all three. I worked closely with Dex, I know him well, and I know what he's capable of. I will watch out for his shenanigans, and I will do everything in my power to take him down, and take back that X championship.
*Curtis' eyes go wide and he slaps his hands on his face in shock.*
Curtis: But wait! Wasn't I just mentioning earlier that I am focused on the National title? Why oh why would I want the X title? Well...why the hel not? I can have my cake and eat it too! I've earned that right. I'm going to go in there and rip that X title from all three pairs of hands if I have to, and raise it above my head in victory and praise for Thor. Then I will take that title with me on my journey to the National belt. I'll put it on the line, or sacrifice it, or whatever the hel I have to do to get to Cross and that National title. This is my mission. This is my task. This is part of my trials for Thor. This is my rise back to the top, my domination of this company and this industry. I'm bringing the hammer down this Sunday, and there's not a damn thing any of my opponents can do about it.
*Curtis picks up his hammer.*
Curtis: Bless them father, for they have sinned. And I am their penance incarnate.
*Curtis spins the hammer around, and then swings it into the camera. The scene cuts to fuzz.*
Curtis: You know, I have a soft side, and a hard side.
*Curtis raises the twinkie up to his face.*
Curtis: There are times when I can take a joy ride with some insane masked dudes, get a ton of delicious creme filled cakes, and foil my 90 year old arch nemesis.
*Curtis eats the twinkie, indulging in every chew, taking his time to masticate. He takes a deep breath as he gulds down that twinkie.*
Curtis: Ahhh. And as great as that is, as wonderful as it is, well, there are times were I just want to break ****!
*Curtis then turns and smashes the brick wall with his sledgehammer, swinging away a few times, putting a nice hole in it. Curtis turns back to the camera, huffing and puffing.*
Curtis: Rrrraaagh! So the question my opponents must ask...do they get the comedian? Or do they get the monster? The problem with my opponents is...they usually think their's a separation. In the past, even when my mind was split and I was going crazy, the man in the ring has always been one. A funny monster? A dangerous comedian? Take your pick, I don't care what you want to call me. The fact of the matter is, whatever you may think of me, my record shows that it works, and guess what? It will continue to work. The monstrosity has evolved, the comedy includes some new material, and the man has more focus and more hunger than ever!
*Curtis hoists the sledgehammer up onto his shoulder.*
Curtis: This Sunday is Breaking Away, and I've been put in a fatal four-way. Now...I was just attacked from behind by The Ace, the man who brought me to my lord, and Cross came out thinking he could save me. Like I need his help? That turncoat. That betrayer. The man who holds the last piece of my gold puzzle. So when the dawn rises the next day, I came to find I had a title match...but not the National. Not with that womanizer and that benedict tag partner. No, instead I get my other tournament tag partner, the man who took the X Title away from me. Along for the ride, Xavier Williams and Stephen Kingsley, two guys I've fought multiple times over the past few weeks.
*Curtis swings his mighty hammer around a few times and slaps the handle into his other hand.*
Curtis: A match that happens to be no DQ.
*Curtis raises his eyebrows.*
Curtis: But whatever comes to pass in the battle will be deemed worthy from the mighty Thor. So if the battle needs some spice, then think of me as your Emeril. I will kick it up a notch! BANG!
*Curtis swings the hammer into the wall again, breaking off a piece.*
Curtis: So naturally, we have to get into the breakdown. Shall we? Xavier Williams, a man who can't remember my name. But I don't blame him, I blame the terrible school system in the ATL. My name is Curtis D. Kanyon, and I will beat that into him until he finally get's it ingrained in his skull...or I will beat him until he can't remember a damn thing. William's is damn good, I won't lie. The bastard has had my number lately, I don't like it, despite the vicious beatings I've been delivering unto him, I've been coming up short. Well, no better way to balance the scales with him than by beating him and two others for a title.
*Curtis puts the hammer back over his shoulder and cracks his knuckles.*
Curtis: And then to do a 180, there's Stephen Kingsley. A vicious bugger in his own way, but a man whom I've had the number of for the past few weeks. He gets more angry, more physical every time we meet, which is great, keeps me on my toes. But I keep putting him down. I plan on continuing that trend this Sunday when I plant him into the mat with a BANG! I'm just going to run him over. His only saving grace will be the other two men in this match saving him from my fury. Not because i hate the guy, not because I'm angry at him at all, but because I know I have his number. He's my weak link in all this. War is all about strategy, to not exploit Stephen would make me a fool.
*Curtis then drops the sledgehammer head to the ground, and leans on the handle like a cane.*
Curtis: And then the man who made me a fool, Dexter Davis. Took my X championship after being my replacement partner for a few weeks. We worked well together, but not well enough. But he sure was paying attention. He got me figured out and he got the better of me. I've already said my congrats to him, and I hold no ill will toward him. It's strategy, it's smart. I would have done the same had our roles been reversed. But now Dexter gets not only me, but also two other crazy, hardened wrestlers, and he has to survive. He'd be going up hill against any one of us, but instead, he gets all three. I worked closely with Dex, I know him well, and I know what he's capable of. I will watch out for his shenanigans, and I will do everything in my power to take him down, and take back that X championship.
*Curtis' eyes go wide and he slaps his hands on his face in shock.*
Curtis: But wait! Wasn't I just mentioning earlier that I am focused on the National title? Why oh why would I want the X title? Well...why the hel not? I can have my cake and eat it too! I've earned that right. I'm going to go in there and rip that X title from all three pairs of hands if I have to, and raise it above my head in victory and praise for Thor. Then I will take that title with me on my journey to the National belt. I'll put it on the line, or sacrifice it, or whatever the hel I have to do to get to Cross and that National title. This is my mission. This is my task. This is part of my trials for Thor. This is my rise back to the top, my domination of this company and this industry. I'm bringing the hammer down this Sunday, and there's not a damn thing any of my opponents can do about it.
*Curtis picks up his hammer.*
Curtis: Bless them father, for they have sinned. And I am their penance incarnate.
*Curtis spins the hammer around, and then swings it into the camera. The scene cuts to fuzz.*
