Post by Caleb Lockwood on Dec 1, 2012 22:09:01 GMT -6
”I feel like an idiot.”
“Why? Because I made the first mistake. I got cocky, I got headstrong, and I got pinned. The only reason there’s not a loss sitting for me in the record books is that he couldn’t get his shoulder up either. And you and I both know you won’t make that mistake again, Nighthawk. But you? You’ve promised the same thing you were promising at the beginning of this. You’re promising that you’ll make me tap out because you’re annoyed with this back-and-forth…you’re annoyed.”
“That might be the thing that gets me the most. I’m not annoyed with you. I’m annoyed with myself. I’m frustrated that no matter what I do, I can’t find the right combination of moves and strikes to put you down for the three count or leave you slapping the mat. I’m just not clicking.”
“But I have zero problem with you personally or professionally. Sooner or later I knew this day was going to come. I knew I was going to find the person that I just had the hardest damn time cracking. I didn’t…I didn’t expect you to handle it quite like you have. But to your credit, you’ve been training your ass off. And two centimeters separated you from that training paying off.”
“So we got a week to heal from the wars we’ve been through. This is the big blow-off, the pay-per-view extravaganza to settle things once and for all. No time limit…just a winner. I’m not ready to have given an entire month of my life to trying to beat you, only to walk away empty-handed. I know I can beat you. It won’t be guaranteed, far from it, but I know that I can beat you. And…and I feel like I have to.”
“Not for Jake. Not anymore. I have to do this for me. I have to do this to prove to myself that I’m not just some flash-in-the-pan, that I’m more than the guy that opens the show because he’s flippy and knows how to make the crowd ooh and ahh. I can be so much more. My career, who I am…it can be so much more than just that pigeonholed idea. And if I can beat you…if I can make you tap out, or pin you down…that’s a weight off of my shoulders. That’s self-affirmation.”
“I wasn’t a global phenomenon before coming to NCW. I wasn’t a multinational star, I never trained in Mexico or Japan. I trained in Oakland, and Los Angeles, and San Francisco, and Sacramento. I learned as I went from whoever would give me the time of day. The old man that ran CPW’s training sessions? Coach Ravel? He’d been all over Europe in his prime, but he was just that at the end of the day: an old man. And he wasn’t the kind of wrestler I am. He was a stretcher, a hooker…a guy like you. But he didn’t just teach me holds. He taught me something more important.”
“He taught me that the worth of a man isn’t in his dollars and cents. It’s not in how much gold has been around his waist or how many continents he’s wrestled on. It’s all about the integrity of your wrestling. He told me, in that indecipherable accent of his, ‘Caleb…there isn’t any shame in getting your tuchus beat. If you did everything you could? Then that is all you could do. But what you do after, how you get up and keep walking, that is the important part. You never let a match keep you down. There’s always another day…and there’ll be a day when you can beat that other man. Bide your time...and don’t do anything stupid.’ I’ve done stupid things since then, but I always remember that there’ll be another match…and that’s half of what’s kept me going through all of these matches. I keep telling myself that there’s another day I can pull it off…”
“But there isn’t another chance. This is all or nothing…and Nighthawk…
I want it all.”
“So Caleb, what else do you love about me?”
Oh crap. That’s all that ran through my mind as those words passed her lips. It was the ultimate loaded question. I had so much to say, but all of it at once could make me come off as nothing more than that creepy troll she initially dismissed me as. On the other hand, too little and I could seem uninterested…I think there’s a term for this, the name of some book or something. I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck, stalling as I tried to sort out the insane whirlwind of emotion in my mind.
”Well…I love your smile. It’s…it’s always got that hint of excitement in it, like there’s more than meets the eye. In a good way!”
And there it is. That smile. The one that makes me smile right back, even if, like now, it’s a nervous one. God, she’s beautiful. Unfortunately, that was all it took for the floodgates to crack open. Before I knew it, my mouth was moving, spilling all these words that I really would rather hadn’t come out, especially at a time like this.
”I love your hair, and your smile, and the way you carry yourself, and the fact that you’ve got such a great sense of humor, and that you have standards and you’re not willing to compromise on them, and your eyes…your eyes are so beautiful. They’re blue from one angle, grey from another, and either way they’re just so striking that…that…it’s hard not to stare and just…be amazed. I love…I love so many things about you. I…”
The words catch in my throat. Not now, dammit! I can’t let it do this to me now! She seems confused at my halting stop. For a moment, it feels like I’ve lost her, and that sick feeling drops into my gut. Then, the smile melts and widens even further. I can’t help but grin at it, and she walks over, looking a few inches up into my eyes. She reaches over, taking my hand in hers, and I’m suddenly struck by our respective sizes. I’m so used to being around people that have inches, if not feet on me, that being the taller one for once is…it’s not unwelcome, it’s just odd. But comfortingly odd. It’s an old shirt that I’m putting back on for the first time in a long time. She snaps me back to reality with the sound of her voice, knocking me back out of my reverie.
”Caleb…what were you going to say?”
She’s looking up at me expectantly, almost pleading with her eyes. She’d never say it out loud, of course. Tiffany’s not that sort of person…add another thing to the list. I take a deep breath, exhaling slowly, and look her directly in the eyes. It’s now or never. Bite the bullet.
”Tiffany Jones, I love you.”
Almost the moment the words leave my lips, she takes my head in her hands and pulls me in. I’m the Master of Gravity, the highest flyer on the planet, but before I can react, she’s got me. The kiss is slow, gentle…beautiful. My arms wrap around her almost as if by instinct, and the seconds seem to drag out into hours. When we finally do separate, though, the clock’s barely counted five seconds. She smiles up at me, that same radiant smile as ever…but there’s a little spark in her eye. One I prayed I’d see some day, but…I never thought it’d come true. She whispers back.
”And I love you, Caleb Lockwood. Why it took so damn long to admit, I don’t know…”
I chuckle and hold her close to my chest, gently stroking her hair. Out of the corner of my eye, I think I see Kathy peeking in on the whole scene, and I give her a reassuring wink. She slips out of sight, and I bow my head, holding Tiff close. My mind’s not on Nighthawk for once in weeks. For once…there’s only one person I care about in the world…
And she’s right here in my arms.
”If we’d just met each other, I feel like we could have been friends. Good friends. But you made claims I thought were irresponsible. I took exception, and that’s why we’re here. I don’t want to be here anymore, Nighthawk. I don’t want to run on a damn hamster wheel. I...for the longest time I thought I was going nowhere fast. Then…then something wonderful happened. I gave it a chance, I threw caution to the wind…and I’m not alone. Not anymore. Things are changing…they’re…they’re getting better.”
“I finally feel like I belong somewhere. Kathy, Ace, Soli, Min…Tiffany…for the first time in twenty years, I have a family. I have people I care about and who, to some extent, care about me. I have a place to live, I have a job, I have a purpose in life, and I’m not looking down the darkest paths in life. It’s getting brighter. It’s getting so, so much better. So while you might feel weary…I feel better than I have in months. Years. This is a good time to be Caleb Lockwood…which, unfortunately, means it’s a bad time to be Nighthawk.”
“You always close your promos with ‘May sleep give you the strength to carry on.’ Sleep isn’t what gives me the strength to keep going. It’s the dreams. The dream of one day being the guy at the top…the success, the home, the family…having everything I never could. Giving to my children what I never had. I don’t want them to live the life I had to. But now…it doesn’t feel like a dream anymore. It feels like more and more of a reality. I took that step forward…and I’m going to take that next step when we step into the ring on Sunday. So good luck. And one last piece of advice…don’t blink. You just might miss something.”
“Why? Because I made the first mistake. I got cocky, I got headstrong, and I got pinned. The only reason there’s not a loss sitting for me in the record books is that he couldn’t get his shoulder up either. And you and I both know you won’t make that mistake again, Nighthawk. But you? You’ve promised the same thing you were promising at the beginning of this. You’re promising that you’ll make me tap out because you’re annoyed with this back-and-forth…you’re annoyed.”
“That might be the thing that gets me the most. I’m not annoyed with you. I’m annoyed with myself. I’m frustrated that no matter what I do, I can’t find the right combination of moves and strikes to put you down for the three count or leave you slapping the mat. I’m just not clicking.”
“But I have zero problem with you personally or professionally. Sooner or later I knew this day was going to come. I knew I was going to find the person that I just had the hardest damn time cracking. I didn’t…I didn’t expect you to handle it quite like you have. But to your credit, you’ve been training your ass off. And two centimeters separated you from that training paying off.”
“So we got a week to heal from the wars we’ve been through. This is the big blow-off, the pay-per-view extravaganza to settle things once and for all. No time limit…just a winner. I’m not ready to have given an entire month of my life to trying to beat you, only to walk away empty-handed. I know I can beat you. It won’t be guaranteed, far from it, but I know that I can beat you. And…and I feel like I have to.”
“Not for Jake. Not anymore. I have to do this for me. I have to do this to prove to myself that I’m not just some flash-in-the-pan, that I’m more than the guy that opens the show because he’s flippy and knows how to make the crowd ooh and ahh. I can be so much more. My career, who I am…it can be so much more than just that pigeonholed idea. And if I can beat you…if I can make you tap out, or pin you down…that’s a weight off of my shoulders. That’s self-affirmation.”
“I wasn’t a global phenomenon before coming to NCW. I wasn’t a multinational star, I never trained in Mexico or Japan. I trained in Oakland, and Los Angeles, and San Francisco, and Sacramento. I learned as I went from whoever would give me the time of day. The old man that ran CPW’s training sessions? Coach Ravel? He’d been all over Europe in his prime, but he was just that at the end of the day: an old man. And he wasn’t the kind of wrestler I am. He was a stretcher, a hooker…a guy like you. But he didn’t just teach me holds. He taught me something more important.”
“He taught me that the worth of a man isn’t in his dollars and cents. It’s not in how much gold has been around his waist or how many continents he’s wrestled on. It’s all about the integrity of your wrestling. He told me, in that indecipherable accent of his, ‘Caleb…there isn’t any shame in getting your tuchus beat. If you did everything you could? Then that is all you could do. But what you do after, how you get up and keep walking, that is the important part. You never let a match keep you down. There’s always another day…and there’ll be a day when you can beat that other man. Bide your time...and don’t do anything stupid.’ I’ve done stupid things since then, but I always remember that there’ll be another match…and that’s half of what’s kept me going through all of these matches. I keep telling myself that there’s another day I can pull it off…”
“But there isn’t another chance. This is all or nothing…and Nighthawk…
I want it all.”
“So Caleb, what else do you love about me?”
Oh crap. That’s all that ran through my mind as those words passed her lips. It was the ultimate loaded question. I had so much to say, but all of it at once could make me come off as nothing more than that creepy troll she initially dismissed me as. On the other hand, too little and I could seem uninterested…I think there’s a term for this, the name of some book or something. I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck, stalling as I tried to sort out the insane whirlwind of emotion in my mind.
”Well…I love your smile. It’s…it’s always got that hint of excitement in it, like there’s more than meets the eye. In a good way!”
And there it is. That smile. The one that makes me smile right back, even if, like now, it’s a nervous one. God, she’s beautiful. Unfortunately, that was all it took for the floodgates to crack open. Before I knew it, my mouth was moving, spilling all these words that I really would rather hadn’t come out, especially at a time like this.
”I love your hair, and your smile, and the way you carry yourself, and the fact that you’ve got such a great sense of humor, and that you have standards and you’re not willing to compromise on them, and your eyes…your eyes are so beautiful. They’re blue from one angle, grey from another, and either way they’re just so striking that…that…it’s hard not to stare and just…be amazed. I love…I love so many things about you. I…”
The words catch in my throat. Not now, dammit! I can’t let it do this to me now! She seems confused at my halting stop. For a moment, it feels like I’ve lost her, and that sick feeling drops into my gut. Then, the smile melts and widens even further. I can’t help but grin at it, and she walks over, looking a few inches up into my eyes. She reaches over, taking my hand in hers, and I’m suddenly struck by our respective sizes. I’m so used to being around people that have inches, if not feet on me, that being the taller one for once is…it’s not unwelcome, it’s just odd. But comfortingly odd. It’s an old shirt that I’m putting back on for the first time in a long time. She snaps me back to reality with the sound of her voice, knocking me back out of my reverie.
”Caleb…what were you going to say?”
She’s looking up at me expectantly, almost pleading with her eyes. She’d never say it out loud, of course. Tiffany’s not that sort of person…add another thing to the list. I take a deep breath, exhaling slowly, and look her directly in the eyes. It’s now or never. Bite the bullet.
”Tiffany Jones, I love you.”
Almost the moment the words leave my lips, she takes my head in her hands and pulls me in. I’m the Master of Gravity, the highest flyer on the planet, but before I can react, she’s got me. The kiss is slow, gentle…beautiful. My arms wrap around her almost as if by instinct, and the seconds seem to drag out into hours. When we finally do separate, though, the clock’s barely counted five seconds. She smiles up at me, that same radiant smile as ever…but there’s a little spark in her eye. One I prayed I’d see some day, but…I never thought it’d come true. She whispers back.
”And I love you, Caleb Lockwood. Why it took so damn long to admit, I don’t know…”
I chuckle and hold her close to my chest, gently stroking her hair. Out of the corner of my eye, I think I see Kathy peeking in on the whole scene, and I give her a reassuring wink. She slips out of sight, and I bow my head, holding Tiff close. My mind’s not on Nighthawk for once in weeks. For once…there’s only one person I care about in the world…
And she’s right here in my arms.
”If we’d just met each other, I feel like we could have been friends. Good friends. But you made claims I thought were irresponsible. I took exception, and that’s why we’re here. I don’t want to be here anymore, Nighthawk. I don’t want to run on a damn hamster wheel. I...for the longest time I thought I was going nowhere fast. Then…then something wonderful happened. I gave it a chance, I threw caution to the wind…and I’m not alone. Not anymore. Things are changing…they’re…they’re getting better.”
“I finally feel like I belong somewhere. Kathy, Ace, Soli, Min…Tiffany…for the first time in twenty years, I have a family. I have people I care about and who, to some extent, care about me. I have a place to live, I have a job, I have a purpose in life, and I’m not looking down the darkest paths in life. It’s getting brighter. It’s getting so, so much better. So while you might feel weary…I feel better than I have in months. Years. This is a good time to be Caleb Lockwood…which, unfortunately, means it’s a bad time to be Nighthawk.”
“You always close your promos with ‘May sleep give you the strength to carry on.’ Sleep isn’t what gives me the strength to keep going. It’s the dreams. The dream of one day being the guy at the top…the success, the home, the family…having everything I never could. Giving to my children what I never had. I don’t want them to live the life I had to. But now…it doesn’t feel like a dream anymore. It feels like more and more of a reality. I took that step forward…and I’m going to take that next step when we step into the ring on Sunday. So good luck. And one last piece of advice…don’t blink. You just might miss something.”
