Post by Captain Howdy on Dec 2, 2012 2:53:05 GMT -6
Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul and fate
-- From "Sympathy for the Devil" by the Rolling Stones
The scene slowly fades in from black, as "Captain Howdy" by Twisted Sister begins to play. As things become more easily seen, we find ourselves looking on at a well-appointed living room, complete with plush carpeting, a large, leather couch, and a cheerful looking fire in the hearth. A man sits in an easy chair, dressed in a lime green tuxedo and white shirt. He grins at the camera, though the expression is far more unnerving than endearing. To his right, on the couch, is a beautiful young brunette, holding a baby who is likely just over a year old. To her right, on the other part of the couch, is a statuesque blonde, wearing a pair of tight leather pants, and a deep red blouse. The two women are sitting back, relaxed, while the man looks quite excited at the moment. As the music fades, he stands, and begins to speak.
CAPTAIN HOWDY: Well hello!! So glad you could make it here tonight. Actually, I'm nowhere near as happy as The Mistress over there, but still it's good to know you made it in.
MISTRESS (The Blonde): Well James, if it weren't for you insisting that Tom be allowed to be your personal cameraman, he might still be looking for work. After all, when that last place you were in closed, it wasn't just the wrestlers who were let go.
CH: I know. But, Tom is a good man, and he makes You happy, so it was all worthwhile to me. Of course, while I make one happy, I upset another, don't I my dear Nadia?
NADIA JACOBS-SNOW (The Brunette): I just wish you didn't feel such a need to get back to the ring, James. It's been great having you around these last few months, having you take care of our son. Not to mention not having to worry about whether or not someone would finally take you down.
CH: Ahh..I understand Nadia, I really do. But you have to try to understand my side. The ring, the fans, the atmosphere, it all has a siren's call, that those of us who have been in the business for a while just cannot resist. So, when I saw how many of our old friends had joined the NCW, I got the bug again. I got that old itch, the one that can only be scratched by competing. Besides, you know he gets sort of hard to live with when he doesn't get fed regularly.
N: I know...I'm shocked he's been as quiet as he has up to now. I'm not going to try to stop you, James. I just thought that, once RPW ended, you'd stop as well. I was afraid that this day would come, but at the same time, I know this is what you truly love to do. Just be...
CH: Please don't finish that statement. You know that the only time that bad things have happened to me is when you say that to me.
N: True. Sorry, it's been a while.
M: Well, to be honest, I'm glad James is back in the ring. I think he still has a lot to offer and there are still some old scores to settle.
CH: Old scores are in the past, and they can stay there as far as I'm concerned. However, if one of my old friends wants to bring one of them up, so be it.
Now ladies, if you'll excuse me, I need to speak to the fine people of the NCW, most especially my opponent this week. It is, after all, one of the things I get paid for.
M: Sure. I've got a few things to...prepare...anyway.
N: And I really should get Jimmy here down for his nap. Let us know when you're done.
The two women stand, and start heading out of the room. Nadia moves over to the Captain, and kisses him soundly, then heads to the stairs to the second floor on the other side of the room. The Mistress moves off down the hallway, the camera following Her as She walks away. A quick clearing of a throat, however, draws the lens back to the man still standing by his chair, a faint smile on his face.
CAPTAIN HOWDY: You still can't stop yourself, can you?
The camera moves side to side slowly, as the operator shakes his head.
CH: Can't say that I blame you. Still, it's time for business. You are, of coure, welcome to stay as long as you like. Or, as long as She likes, more likely.
In any event, I should introduce myself to the fine people of the NCW. My name, is James Jacobs. But, I am more commonly known as Captain Howdy. I'm the guy that nobody ever really wants to face. I'm the one that nobody can ever predict what I am going to do. I'm the one that your mother never warned you about, because she was too busy praying that I didn't exist.
My career has taken me all around the world. I've won every type of Title you can imagine, from World, to Tag Team, to whatever secondary Title you can come up with. My list of victims, of careers ended, and injuries handed out, would take far too long to relate. I am, quite simply, the Most Dangerous Man that several federations had ever seen. I know I'm new here to the NCW, so it's too early to try and claim that moniker here. Among my accomplishments that I am most proud of, is that I was the World Champion in three different federations, up to the day that they closed their doors, meaning that I am a three-time, undefeated World Champion. It's hard enough to do that once.
So, when I felt that I had rested enough, when I felt that my batteries had recharged enough, I went looking for a new place to ply my craft. There were bigger federations, bigger contracts, bigger promises made, but in the end, I chose NCW because so many people I knew had found their way here. Those same people are likely waiting with bated breath to find out which Captain Howdy has arrived. After all, I spent the better part of a year trying to atone for my many, many sins of the past. I played for a while on the side of the angels, trying to ensure that, when my son was older and looking back at my career, he could be proud of his father.
I have a feeling, no matter what, he will be.
So, I come to this place as I did so many others. I come here, not for the adulation of the fans. I come here not for any sort of instant gratification, because I understand I have to earn my way to a Title belt. No, I come here to tear down the false heroes, to destroy those glass idols that seek to claim the moral high ground in their affairs within the squared circle. I come to rain down pain and agony upon anyone who dares to stand against me. And, I will do it all, with a smile on my face.
The Captain looks into the camera, and grins, though the smile does not quite reach his eyes. Those eyes are dead, devoid of any human emotion, much as those of a shark. They bore through the lens of the camera, causing a small shiver to run down the spine of anyone who has never seen this man before.
I am here, quite simply, to cause as much damage, pain, misery and destruction as I possibly can, until the management has no choice but to put me in a Title situation because there is nobody else left, or they want to try and calm me down. I'd wish them luck with that, but I'd be lying.
So, just who is it that I start my rampage through the NCW ranks against? Who is it that I get to introduce to my playground between the ropes? Why, it's none other than the man they call Hexx.
... ....... ... ...????
The camera pans over for a moment, to the previously empty couch. Seated there, is a raggedy old teddy bear, stitches loose and stuffing sticking through in places. Some of its fur is missing, and one ear is torn in half. An open can of beer seems to be attached to its right paw somehow, and the eyes are trained on the Captain, as if speaking to him. After a few moments, the camer pulls back a bit to take in both the man and the bear.
CH: Oh, hello George. I didn't hear you come in. No, nobody mentioned sex. I was talking about my first NCW opponent, Hexx.
G: ... ... .... ... ..... ... ..... .... .... .... . ....?
CH: No no, it's not the guy from the movie or comic book. Though, I honestly don't know if he has half a face or not. I'm facing him though, on the free internet opening to the NCW Pay Per View this weekend. I think they call it "Wired".
G: .. ..'. ..... .. .....?
CH: George!! Don't say things like that. For all we know, this Hexx is a very clean-cut person. I'm sure he doesn't do crack, or any other drugs. Wired is the name of the free pre-show broadcast of NCW's Breaking Away. You know, I've never had a debut match on a Pay Per View before. It's kind of cool, to be honest.
But, I digress. Now, Hexx, I don't know a thing about you. You could be very good, you could be putrid. I have no idea. I don't mean any disrespect by that, but I've simply never seen you wrestle. You, however, have plenty of opportunity to see what I am all about. I appear on several DVD's from different companies. I will warn you though, on several of them my match is definately not "PG". If you're upset or squeamish at the sight of blood, I'd suggest you find something else to watch. My opponents have donated nearly as much blood to me as the Red Cross gets in a year, so if that isn't your thing, consider yourself warned.
I find myself in a familiar situation here, Hexx. I'm coming into a new place, full of new faces and fans. I have to find a way to impress the management, to show them that I have what it takes to not only be here, but to thrive here. You only get one chance to make a good first impression. So, I fully intend to take advantage of this opportunity. Unfortunately for you, that means I have to beat you in as painful a way as possible. I have to subject you to things that will make many watching cringe in sympathy or perhaps even turn away from the tableau they are seeing. I have no ill will toward you, Hexx. You just drew the shortest straw of the night, and this is your fate.
I could go on and on about how badly I will hurt you, about how you will beg for it to end, but I'd rather let him do that.
As we watch, the camera moves until only the Captain is visible. He closes his eyes, and seems to shake a bit, until it almost seems he will fall down. Then, he stands straight, and those eyes open. Where they were previously blue, they are now as grey as thunderclouds. That evil grin deepens, and when he begins to speak, his voice has dropped at least an octave in pitch, as a dark chuckle escapes his lips.
CH: So here I am, the entity known to so very many as the true Captain Howdy. Oh, James and I have an understanding. He gets whatever time he needs here at home with his loving wife, and I get to play in the ring. For a while, I had almost despaired of ever getting back there again. But, this opportunity arose, and thus, here We are. Now, I know that some of you out there will make the mistake of trying to relate my name to Howdy Doody, or perhaps one of the more comedic Captains of television fame. Perhaps one of you will make the error of refering to me as a child molester or pedophile. It never fails. Someone always thinks themselves the smarter for coming up with that. No, my name is not from any of those. Think "Exorcist" and you'll be closer to the mark.
As for you, Hexx, you do realize that your own name means to be enspelled, or cursed. Having to meet me in my first match here in the NCW? I'd call that an accurate interpretation. You are indeed cursed, my unfortunate friend, because as James said, you are going to be our example to the NCW of what to expect when we are in a match. We have to make very certain that nobody in this place has any doubt as to their own fate should we meet.
So, Hexx, understand that this isn't anything more than a good business move on my part. After all, the more convincing my victory, the more quickly I move up the ladder. If I leave you twitching in the ring, bleeding out like a stuck pig, that image will be what people think of when they see their name across from mine on the next card. But don't worry too much. When I decide that you've had enough, when I'm tired from beating on you for so long, I'll end it mercifully for you. I'll put you out of your misery, at least until you realize that your limbs are not responding to the desperate commands your brain is sending to them, and all you can do is stare up into the lights. When that time comes, Hexx, that's when you'll understand what it means when I decide that, for you, PLAYTIME'S OVER!!!
For now though, I must bid you all farewell. Be very careful, NCW, because you've allowed, quite possibly, the very worst person you could have, to walk in your doors. And, I'm not going to leave anytime soon.
HAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAAA!!!
AAAAHAHAHAHAAHAAAHAAHAHAAHAAAAA!!!
The Captain continues to laugh manically, as "Captain Howdy" begins to play once more. As his head comes back down from being thrown back, a glint of red appears in those eyes, but the camera fades to black before we can be sure of what we saw.
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul and fate
-- From "Sympathy for the Devil" by the Rolling Stones
The scene slowly fades in from black, as "Captain Howdy" by Twisted Sister begins to play. As things become more easily seen, we find ourselves looking on at a well-appointed living room, complete with plush carpeting, a large, leather couch, and a cheerful looking fire in the hearth. A man sits in an easy chair, dressed in a lime green tuxedo and white shirt. He grins at the camera, though the expression is far more unnerving than endearing. To his right, on the couch, is a beautiful young brunette, holding a baby who is likely just over a year old. To her right, on the other part of the couch, is a statuesque blonde, wearing a pair of tight leather pants, and a deep red blouse. The two women are sitting back, relaxed, while the man looks quite excited at the moment. As the music fades, he stands, and begins to speak.
CAPTAIN HOWDY: Well hello!! So glad you could make it here tonight. Actually, I'm nowhere near as happy as The Mistress over there, but still it's good to know you made it in.
MISTRESS (The Blonde): Well James, if it weren't for you insisting that Tom be allowed to be your personal cameraman, he might still be looking for work. After all, when that last place you were in closed, it wasn't just the wrestlers who were let go.
CH: I know. But, Tom is a good man, and he makes You happy, so it was all worthwhile to me. Of course, while I make one happy, I upset another, don't I my dear Nadia?
NADIA JACOBS-SNOW (The Brunette): I just wish you didn't feel such a need to get back to the ring, James. It's been great having you around these last few months, having you take care of our son. Not to mention not having to worry about whether or not someone would finally take you down.
CH: Ahh..I understand Nadia, I really do. But you have to try to understand my side. The ring, the fans, the atmosphere, it all has a siren's call, that those of us who have been in the business for a while just cannot resist. So, when I saw how many of our old friends had joined the NCW, I got the bug again. I got that old itch, the one that can only be scratched by competing. Besides, you know he gets sort of hard to live with when he doesn't get fed regularly.
N: I know...I'm shocked he's been as quiet as he has up to now. I'm not going to try to stop you, James. I just thought that, once RPW ended, you'd stop as well. I was afraid that this day would come, but at the same time, I know this is what you truly love to do. Just be...
CH: Please don't finish that statement. You know that the only time that bad things have happened to me is when you say that to me.
N: True. Sorry, it's been a while.
M: Well, to be honest, I'm glad James is back in the ring. I think he still has a lot to offer and there are still some old scores to settle.
CH: Old scores are in the past, and they can stay there as far as I'm concerned. However, if one of my old friends wants to bring one of them up, so be it.
Now ladies, if you'll excuse me, I need to speak to the fine people of the NCW, most especially my opponent this week. It is, after all, one of the things I get paid for.
M: Sure. I've got a few things to...prepare...anyway.
N: And I really should get Jimmy here down for his nap. Let us know when you're done.
The two women stand, and start heading out of the room. Nadia moves over to the Captain, and kisses him soundly, then heads to the stairs to the second floor on the other side of the room. The Mistress moves off down the hallway, the camera following Her as She walks away. A quick clearing of a throat, however, draws the lens back to the man still standing by his chair, a faint smile on his face.
CAPTAIN HOWDY: You still can't stop yourself, can you?
The camera moves side to side slowly, as the operator shakes his head.
CH: Can't say that I blame you. Still, it's time for business. You are, of coure, welcome to stay as long as you like. Or, as long as She likes, more likely.
In any event, I should introduce myself to the fine people of the NCW. My name, is James Jacobs. But, I am more commonly known as Captain Howdy. I'm the guy that nobody ever really wants to face. I'm the one that nobody can ever predict what I am going to do. I'm the one that your mother never warned you about, because she was too busy praying that I didn't exist.
My career has taken me all around the world. I've won every type of Title you can imagine, from World, to Tag Team, to whatever secondary Title you can come up with. My list of victims, of careers ended, and injuries handed out, would take far too long to relate. I am, quite simply, the Most Dangerous Man that several federations had ever seen. I know I'm new here to the NCW, so it's too early to try and claim that moniker here. Among my accomplishments that I am most proud of, is that I was the World Champion in three different federations, up to the day that they closed their doors, meaning that I am a three-time, undefeated World Champion. It's hard enough to do that once.
So, when I felt that I had rested enough, when I felt that my batteries had recharged enough, I went looking for a new place to ply my craft. There were bigger federations, bigger contracts, bigger promises made, but in the end, I chose NCW because so many people I knew had found their way here. Those same people are likely waiting with bated breath to find out which Captain Howdy has arrived. After all, I spent the better part of a year trying to atone for my many, many sins of the past. I played for a while on the side of the angels, trying to ensure that, when my son was older and looking back at my career, he could be proud of his father.
I have a feeling, no matter what, he will be.
So, I come to this place as I did so many others. I come here, not for the adulation of the fans. I come here not for any sort of instant gratification, because I understand I have to earn my way to a Title belt. No, I come here to tear down the false heroes, to destroy those glass idols that seek to claim the moral high ground in their affairs within the squared circle. I come to rain down pain and agony upon anyone who dares to stand against me. And, I will do it all, with a smile on my face.
The Captain looks into the camera, and grins, though the smile does not quite reach his eyes. Those eyes are dead, devoid of any human emotion, much as those of a shark. They bore through the lens of the camera, causing a small shiver to run down the spine of anyone who has never seen this man before.
I am here, quite simply, to cause as much damage, pain, misery and destruction as I possibly can, until the management has no choice but to put me in a Title situation because there is nobody else left, or they want to try and calm me down. I'd wish them luck with that, but I'd be lying.
So, just who is it that I start my rampage through the NCW ranks against? Who is it that I get to introduce to my playground between the ropes? Why, it's none other than the man they call Hexx.
... ....... ... ...????
The camera pans over for a moment, to the previously empty couch. Seated there, is a raggedy old teddy bear, stitches loose and stuffing sticking through in places. Some of its fur is missing, and one ear is torn in half. An open can of beer seems to be attached to its right paw somehow, and the eyes are trained on the Captain, as if speaking to him. After a few moments, the camer pulls back a bit to take in both the man and the bear.
CH: Oh, hello George. I didn't hear you come in. No, nobody mentioned sex. I was talking about my first NCW opponent, Hexx.
G: ... ... .... ... ..... ... ..... .... .... .... . ....?
CH: No no, it's not the guy from the movie or comic book. Though, I honestly don't know if he has half a face or not. I'm facing him though, on the free internet opening to the NCW Pay Per View this weekend. I think they call it "Wired".
G: .. ..'. ..... .. .....?
CH: George!! Don't say things like that. For all we know, this Hexx is a very clean-cut person. I'm sure he doesn't do crack, or any other drugs. Wired is the name of the free pre-show broadcast of NCW's Breaking Away. You know, I've never had a debut match on a Pay Per View before. It's kind of cool, to be honest.
But, I digress. Now, Hexx, I don't know a thing about you. You could be very good, you could be putrid. I have no idea. I don't mean any disrespect by that, but I've simply never seen you wrestle. You, however, have plenty of opportunity to see what I am all about. I appear on several DVD's from different companies. I will warn you though, on several of them my match is definately not "PG". If you're upset or squeamish at the sight of blood, I'd suggest you find something else to watch. My opponents have donated nearly as much blood to me as the Red Cross gets in a year, so if that isn't your thing, consider yourself warned.
I find myself in a familiar situation here, Hexx. I'm coming into a new place, full of new faces and fans. I have to find a way to impress the management, to show them that I have what it takes to not only be here, but to thrive here. You only get one chance to make a good first impression. So, I fully intend to take advantage of this opportunity. Unfortunately for you, that means I have to beat you in as painful a way as possible. I have to subject you to things that will make many watching cringe in sympathy or perhaps even turn away from the tableau they are seeing. I have no ill will toward you, Hexx. You just drew the shortest straw of the night, and this is your fate.
I could go on and on about how badly I will hurt you, about how you will beg for it to end, but I'd rather let him do that.
As we watch, the camera moves until only the Captain is visible. He closes his eyes, and seems to shake a bit, until it almost seems he will fall down. Then, he stands straight, and those eyes open. Where they were previously blue, they are now as grey as thunderclouds. That evil grin deepens, and when he begins to speak, his voice has dropped at least an octave in pitch, as a dark chuckle escapes his lips.
CH: So here I am, the entity known to so very many as the true Captain Howdy. Oh, James and I have an understanding. He gets whatever time he needs here at home with his loving wife, and I get to play in the ring. For a while, I had almost despaired of ever getting back there again. But, this opportunity arose, and thus, here We are. Now, I know that some of you out there will make the mistake of trying to relate my name to Howdy Doody, or perhaps one of the more comedic Captains of television fame. Perhaps one of you will make the error of refering to me as a child molester or pedophile. It never fails. Someone always thinks themselves the smarter for coming up with that. No, my name is not from any of those. Think "Exorcist" and you'll be closer to the mark.
As for you, Hexx, you do realize that your own name means to be enspelled, or cursed. Having to meet me in my first match here in the NCW? I'd call that an accurate interpretation. You are indeed cursed, my unfortunate friend, because as James said, you are going to be our example to the NCW of what to expect when we are in a match. We have to make very certain that nobody in this place has any doubt as to their own fate should we meet.
So, Hexx, understand that this isn't anything more than a good business move on my part. After all, the more convincing my victory, the more quickly I move up the ladder. If I leave you twitching in the ring, bleeding out like a stuck pig, that image will be what people think of when they see their name across from mine on the next card. But don't worry too much. When I decide that you've had enough, when I'm tired from beating on you for so long, I'll end it mercifully for you. I'll put you out of your misery, at least until you realize that your limbs are not responding to the desperate commands your brain is sending to them, and all you can do is stare up into the lights. When that time comes, Hexx, that's when you'll understand what it means when I decide that, for you, PLAYTIME'S OVER!!!
For now though, I must bid you all farewell. Be very careful, NCW, because you've allowed, quite possibly, the very worst person you could have, to walk in your doors. And, I'm not going to leave anytime soon.
HAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAAA!!!
AAAAHAHAHAHAAHAAAHAAHAHAAHAAAAA!!!
The Captain continues to laugh manically, as "Captain Howdy" begins to play once more. As his head comes back down from being thrown back, a glint of red appears in those eyes, but the camera fades to black before we can be sure of what we saw.
