Post by Cynthia Warren on Dec 22, 2012 11:34:05 GMT -6
{We find ourselves at an apartment in downtown Charlotte. This is the home of the Warren’s and we are able to hear some moans and speech coming from behind the bedroom door.}
“Oh yeah girl… You and I are going to places… You know we will…As a doctor I would definitely give you a checkup… Well I would definitely check you out while a certain part of my body goes up. That’s just the nature of the beast girl…”
{Cynthia stood outside the door and she didn’t know what to think as the sounds from the other side of the door seemed to be a bit weird. Cynthia cracked the door open and she saw her husband sitting down on the edge of the bed with a grin on his face. She crossed her arms as she looked directly into his eyes.}
“Ummm Jim who are you speaking to? It just sounds weird hearing you speak to yourself and what not….”
{James offers a grin in return as he glances right into the eyes of Cynthia smirking back at her. He takes a long deep breath as he replies back to her.}
“I was just speaking to my imaginary friend…”
{Cynthia rolls her eyes as she doesn’t know what to say… She lets out a long sigh as she glances back at James.}
“And what is the name of this imaginary friend James? “
“The friend’s name is Jaym…..Errrr James…. Yes I have an imaginary friend named after myself….”
“I am supposed to seriously believe in that? Can we not mention imaginary friends around the house James… All we need is for our little one year old to develop an imaginary friend and it’s going to ruin her life. I would rather her grow up to become a beautiful young lady. Not live a life as she is holding onto something that isn’t real…”
{James gets off of the bed as he stares at Cindy in the eyes.}
“Time out Cindy… You do realize that an imaginary friend is a good thing right? From a medical standpoint having a creative friend especially if a child develops it means that the child is very creative. It means that they have a great imagination and they are finding out a way to interact with other children their ages. They help them change with the ongoing environment among other things. Don’t you for one second look down upon the idea of an imaginary friend… Because at the end of the day it’s a good thing…You want to know what’s not a good… A wife only giving her husband sex once a week…. That’s really bad…”
{Cynthia quickly throws her hands about as she stares right at James.}
“Hold on… We are not going to turn this all around on me Jimmy…. I heard you speaking to a woman… Where is she James? I know you got someone in here…”
“Cindy… I don’t just settle…”
{Before James can say anything else she pushes past him and looks around. She finds a book on the dresser and it’s turned to a certain page… The paper for some reason feels a little… Well… This is what the page is of….}
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH A PICTURE OF ADDISYN STARR IN THE HOUSE… AND WHY IS IT STICKY….AWWWW GROSSSSSSSSS”
{Cynthia quickly throws the book down and James laughs as she looks back at her.}
“Hey what can I say… I really wanted to see her stick that banana down her throat… And what I do with my book is my problem… It’s only helping me go the distance with you girl…You should be happy…”
“Well that’s your opinion! James I don’t want you picturing other girls when we are making love… That’s like a form of cheating…. It may seem like it but it is….”
{Before James could reply his phone begins to ring. Cynthia sees his cell phone on the counter and she walks over to it picking it up. The caller ID read Jaymie Boone… Cynthia rolled her eyes picking the phone up to hear Jaymie speaking dirty on the other end. Cynthia took in a long deep breath as she yelled back.}
“Please don’t call my husband again….You do it again, I will Lorena Bobbitt on him…”
{She hangs the phone up glances right back at James with a smile. James seems really worried as he looks back at his wife.}
“You really wouldn’t go Lorena Bobbitt on me would you?
“…”
“Cyn come on… You would seriously cut it off? What will I do?”
“You are a doctor… I am sure you could reattach it…”
“Cindy stop playing… You know you wouldn’t do that…”
“Now if you would excuse me James… I have an imaginary friend to talk too… He may be the only thing to stop me from going through with it…”
{Cindy leaves the room with a giggle on her face as James remains there smirking before we finally fade out.}
“Oh yeah girl… You and I are going to places… You know we will…As a doctor I would definitely give you a checkup… Well I would definitely check you out while a certain part of my body goes up. That’s just the nature of the beast girl…”
{Cynthia stood outside the door and she didn’t know what to think as the sounds from the other side of the door seemed to be a bit weird. Cynthia cracked the door open and she saw her husband sitting down on the edge of the bed with a grin on his face. She crossed her arms as she looked directly into his eyes.}
“Ummm Jim who are you speaking to? It just sounds weird hearing you speak to yourself and what not….”
{James offers a grin in return as he glances right into the eyes of Cynthia smirking back at her. He takes a long deep breath as he replies back to her.}
“I was just speaking to my imaginary friend…”
{Cynthia rolls her eyes as she doesn’t know what to say… She lets out a long sigh as she glances back at James.}
“And what is the name of this imaginary friend James? “
“The friend’s name is Jaym…..Errrr James…. Yes I have an imaginary friend named after myself….”
“I am supposed to seriously believe in that? Can we not mention imaginary friends around the house James… All we need is for our little one year old to develop an imaginary friend and it’s going to ruin her life. I would rather her grow up to become a beautiful young lady. Not live a life as she is holding onto something that isn’t real…”
{James gets off of the bed as he stares at Cindy in the eyes.}
“Time out Cindy… You do realize that an imaginary friend is a good thing right? From a medical standpoint having a creative friend especially if a child develops it means that the child is very creative. It means that they have a great imagination and they are finding out a way to interact with other children their ages. They help them change with the ongoing environment among other things. Don’t you for one second look down upon the idea of an imaginary friend… Because at the end of the day it’s a good thing…You want to know what’s not a good… A wife only giving her husband sex once a week…. That’s really bad…”
{Cynthia quickly throws her hands about as she stares right at James.}
“Hold on… We are not going to turn this all around on me Jimmy…. I heard you speaking to a woman… Where is she James? I know you got someone in here…”
“Cindy… I don’t just settle…”
{Before James can say anything else she pushes past him and looks around. She finds a book on the dresser and it’s turned to a certain page… The paper for some reason feels a little… Well… This is what the page is of….}
“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH A PICTURE OF ADDISYN STARR IN THE HOUSE… AND WHY IS IT STICKY….AWWWW GROSSSSSSSSS”
{Cynthia quickly throws the book down and James laughs as she looks back at her.}
“Hey what can I say… I really wanted to see her stick that banana down her throat… And what I do with my book is my problem… It’s only helping me go the distance with you girl…You should be happy…”
“Well that’s your opinion! James I don’t want you picturing other girls when we are making love… That’s like a form of cheating…. It may seem like it but it is….”
{Before James could reply his phone begins to ring. Cynthia sees his cell phone on the counter and she walks over to it picking it up. The caller ID read Jaymie Boone… Cynthia rolled her eyes picking the phone up to hear Jaymie speaking dirty on the other end. Cynthia took in a long deep breath as she yelled back.}
“Please don’t call my husband again….You do it again, I will Lorena Bobbitt on him…”
{She hangs the phone up glances right back at James with a smile. James seems really worried as he looks back at his wife.}
“You really wouldn’t go Lorena Bobbitt on me would you?
“…”
“Cyn come on… You would seriously cut it off? What will I do?”
“You are a doctor… I am sure you could reattach it…”
“Cindy stop playing… You know you wouldn’t do that…”
“Now if you would excuse me James… I have an imaginary friend to talk too… He may be the only thing to stop me from going through with it…”
{Cindy leaves the room with a giggle on her face as James remains there smirking before we finally fade out.}
Would you look at that? I single handedly showed why Gamers don’t get any. It’s ok Seth whether you have a girl or not I really don’t give a crap. The only thing that matters is that I did not misdiagnose you. I put you in your place and I delivered a very nasty lethal injection to you. Hopefully you will learn from your mistakes and failure as a wrestler and a human being. Anyway would you imagine that? Here I am again and I am actually booked on yet another show.Finally after months of sitting on the sidelines on watching some of these idiots come and go, watching all of these hacks with no talent getting thrown on these shows I am finally get the proper respect that I deserve. Don’t worry this week I won’t disappoint any of you because I have this huge idiot that is in front of me.
Standing in front of me is the former host of some stupid children’s show. I get to deal with a Captain Howdy…
Well I can tell by name alone that I might be dealing with some sort of pedophile, and hear I thought the days of pedophiles in wrestling were gone when Falcon left this great company. If I may ask Captain what exactly are you the captain of? What are you going to do to me when we step in that ring together?
Now I don’t know what you represent but I know my share of Captains and you by far are the absolute worst of them all…
There’s Captain America who is a product of the super soldier initiative who will kick anybody’s butt with his shield and his bare hands. There is Captain Planet who is formed out of a rainbow fruit mixture of gay pride beams that were formed by the kids from the magic school bus television show, and of course there is Captain EXCELLENCE!!!!!!!!!! The toughest super hero to ever step foot inside the mind of a struggling writer’s mind who has a bulge like none other…
And of course there is you…
What exactly are you going to do to me?
Do you think I care on whether you tower over me or have a good fifty pounds on me? Side doesn’t matter Captain… What does matter is that as a Doctor I know how to methodically pick apart the different parts of the body. I know the pain and the torment that one’s body can go through. You may try to put on this phony façade that you are this scary man from New York with no form of weakness. A man who wants to be demented in every single way coming from Coney Island but that doesn’t even matter to me. The only thing that does matter is what will happen when we step inside the ring with one another.
I plan to break you down nice and slowly Captain. I plan to pick you apart. I don’t want to lose this match just to be forced to sit on the sidelines and never be booked again. That is why this week I will fight you until I cannot fight anymore. I will cut you down and I will stand tall like that person I know I am. I may seem like a small guy compared to you but you being a children’s host you should know a few stories based off of the small one prevailing through.
There was little red riding hood over the big bad wolf.
The three little pigs over the big bad wolf.
Jack over the giant at the top of the beanstalk.
And David struck down Goliath…
I already have made my diagnosis and it seems like the only to cure the problem that exists with you is to write you a prescription of pain. In case you don’t know medical terms Capt… That means my foot will meet your ass and I will push you out of the way…
See you in the ring… There will indeed some severe Trauma come Saturday… Let’s hope you are ready to get a visit from the good doctor…