Post by Ricky Johnson on Dec 25, 2012 21:23:56 GMT -6
Yup. It's my Christmas present to you.
Match Card:
1) The Dudley Boyz vs. Too Cool vs. Right to Censor vs. Tazz & Raven vs. Lo Down (Dudleyz Table Invitational)
2) T&A & Trish Stratus vs. The APA & Lita (Six Person Tag)
3) Chris Jericho vs. X-Pac (Steel Cage Match)
4) Mr. Ass & Chyna vs. Right to Censor
5) Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Rikishi (No Holds Barred)
6) William Regal vs. Naked Mideon (European Championship)
7) The Hardy Boyz vs. Los Conquistadors (Tag Team Championship)
8) Triple H vs. HeWhoShallNotBeNamed
9) The Rock vs. Kurt Angle (WWF Title)
Location: Albany, NY
Our hosts: JR and the King.
Match 1: Dudley Table Invitational
This match is under gauntlet rules. Two teams start, when one team in eliminated, another comes out. Too Cool and Lo Down start the fun. What the heck happened to D'lo? He was European champion, Intercontinental title contender, and then he gets stuck with Headbanger Mosh as a partner in a team that went no where. And guess what, D'lo and Chaz are eliminated in about 3 minutes when Scotty pushes Chaz off the top rope through a table. Also, to compound the humiliation, D'lo frog splashes a table. Also, if you noticed, Too Cool got most of their spots in early.
Eliminated: Lo Down
Next Team Out: Tazz and Raven
Each team brings a table to the ring, why, I don't know because everyone knows there's a whole plethora of tables, ladders, chairs, sledgehammers, kendo sticks, brass knuckles, Bags of salt, trash cans, and various other non-ring equipment under there. Anyway, Grandmaster Sexay tries do the sunset flip powerbomb on Raven to the outside, through a table, but his foot hits the table and it breaks. But since that's not the finish, we continue. Again, Tazz and Raven get their spots in, and Too Cool finish there's with a worm. Tazz and Raven, suplex Scotty through the table to finish.
Eliminated: Too Cool
Next Team Out: The Dudleyz.
Yes, it's an all ECW table's match for about 2 minutes. Which is pretty sweet. Dudleyz pretty much wipe the floor with Tazz and Raven, then D-Von Leg drops Tazz through the table to eliminate them.
Eliminated: Tazz & Raven
Next Team Out: RTC
Well, Bull and the Goodfather just brawl with the Dudleyz here. You know, the RTC was GREAT at getting heat. The Goodfather, Val Venis, great as those heels after being fun baby-faces. Anyway, Bull clocks the ref with a clothesline, meaning...~ DUSTY FINISH ~ Buh Buh powerbombs Bull through the table, but there's no referee. So, this begs a question: What exactly is the timekeeper's job? Can he not ring the bell without the ref telling him to? He totally saw this, but he does nothing. Goodfather KO's Buh Buh with a chair, pulls Bull out of the wreckage, and swaps Bubba in his place. The ref comes to and calls for the bell, BIG boos. Another ref runs down and the match is ordered to restart. Goodfather eats a 3-D through the table for the win.
Eliminated: The RTC.
Winners: Dudley Boyz via 3-D
Rating: 4/10
Simply a brawl and a chance to get some other tag teams on the show. This was for nothing, and it had a dusty finish.
Segment: Rikishi backstage
Rikishi, sledgehammer in hand, waits for Stone Cold to show up.
Segment: T&A & Trish
Backstage, Trish adjusts her boobies. Test asks if they will fall out of her top. Albert says the smartest thing he may have ever said and tells Trish to let them fall where they may. Trish agrees.
Video package: APA vs. T&A Strip Poker.
Why did this happen on Heat? T&A lose all their Money to the APA. So they offer up Trish's clothes. At one point, she is topless. Do Test and Albert know how to play poker? Why didn't anyone ever win against the APA in poker besides Jackie? I think they're cheaters.
Match #2:T&A & Trish Stratus vs. The APA & Lita (Six Person Tag)
Lita out first, but T&A beat down the APA before they can come out. Lita goes back to try and help, but gets cut off. It's pretty much a 3 on 1 beatdown until the Hardy Boyz save Lita.
Winner: No Contest
Rating: 1/10
This wasn't even a match. But Trish and Lita being hot save it from being a total dud.
Segment: Edge & Christian interview
Edge and Christian say they did not compete in the tag team table gauntlet because of food poisoning from bad peanuts. All sort of sexual innuendos from this.
Match #3:Chris Jericho vs. X-Pac (Steel Cage Match)
Jericho admits on the mic he has no idea why he's fueding X-pac. He's clearly frustrated at this point in his WWF career. Also, pinfalls and submissions are irrelevant. Only escape wins you the match. You know, I never understood why a cage match was escape only ever. The point of a cage match is to make sure your opponent cannot escape....Anyway, Y2J and Pac deliver a big match here, just because they can. Jericho hits all kinds of moves including a springboard dropkick to stop X-pac from climbing out, a missle dropkick, and later stops X-Pac's escape with a SUPERBOMB! Jericho tries to climb, but gets crotched for his efforts. X-Pac tries to escape but it caught by Jericho, but pulls a chair into the ring and brains Jericho with it. Jericho catches X-Pac's escape by crotching him on the cage, then applies the Walls on the top of the cage! X-pac kicks him off the top all the way to the mat. Seemingly having the match won. He chooses to showboat and it costs him as Jericho dropkicks the cage, and X-pac falls on the cage door and crotches himself. Y2J escapes for the win.
Winner: Chris Jericho via Escape
Rating: 7/10
It's was a good match, but it was clear Jericho deserved better and this cage was simply an added attraction for no real reason.
Segment: Rikishi and Mick Foley
Yah! Foley is the commish. Rikishi demands to know why Austin hasn't shown up yet and wants a forfeit victory. Foley says Austin will be here, but if he's not, Foley will come out and raise Rikishi's hand himself.
Match #4:Mr. Ass & Chyna vs. Right to Censor
This RTC is Venis and Stevie Richards. Ass and Chyna beat up Val for a while, and Steven fairs no better. Finally RTC gain the edge and beat up Mr. Ass for a while. I cannot believe I'm typing Mr. Ass so much. Gunn tags Chyna and she's a house of fire. One swinging neckbreaker later, Chyna seems primed to win, but the other members of RTC hit the ring. Billy attacks them leaving Eddie Guerrero time to sneak in and blast Chyna with a bouquet of roses which...knock her out. Venis pins Chyna as the ref ignores the broken glass all over the ring.
Winners: RTC via Pinfall
Rating: DUD
As simple as a tag match gets. Stevie was injured going into this, and this probably didn't help anything. Unremarkable match more suited for a throwaway RAW.
Segment: Triple H and Stephanie
Backstage, Stephanie requests to accompany Hunter to the ring for his match. Trips says no. Stephanie, ever the master technical wrestler, has a tape for Hunter to watch on how to counter the crossface. Yes, Stephanie McMahon noticed a "weakness" in the crossface. Give me a break. Triple H is also holding Stephanie's safety on Kurt Angle's head later.
Match #5:Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Rikishi (No Holds Barred)
Rikishi comes out in an Hawaiian mu-mu looking thing. It looks Ridiculous. Then again, he wears a sumo Mawashi with no pants. So yeah. Austin pulls into the arena in his truck, gets out, and proceeds to beat the piss out of Rikishi. For a long, long, time. Austin beats Rikishi with a chair, his belt, anything he sees fit. Austin whacks Rikishi with a chair and he flops into the back of his pickup. Austin gets up, Opens up a beer (don't drink and drive kids) and backs Rikishi into the parking lot and goes to run him down down much like Rikishi did to him. However, the cops stop Austin (showing up on scene in record time) Austin is arrested.
Winner: No contest
Rating: 3/10
This match was really a one-sided beat down, but they were pushing Rikishi as a heel at the time, and Austin is Austin. So all that means is that this was, was one big match that amounted to nothing.
Segment: Parking Lot
Rikishi gets an ambulance ride.
Match #6:William Regal vs. Naked Mideon (European Championship)
Regal does not want to wrestle Mideon at all. Nor would I. Nor should anyone. Nothing against Dennis Knight, but why is he naked? Why? Mideon is forced to wear clothes by Mick Foley. Mideon threatens a start stripping but at least for the moment, he does not. Regal just beats up Mideon and clearly out-wrestles him, until Mideon takes off his shirt. Mideon gets some offense in but Regal counters with a butterfly suplex. Mideon whips off his pants...wonderful. At least he has a fanny pack on. Mideon kisses Regal....okay...Mideon gets crotched on the top rope. Regal is about to apply the Regal stretch but fears he may accidently stick his junk in Mideon's naked ass. Thinking better of it, Regal hits the Regal-cutter for the win.
Winner: William Regal via Pinfall
Rating: DUD
Who in the hell though a grown man running around wearing only a fanny pack and thong would get over? If it was Trish, I could see it. But Mideon? Also, William Regal is great. But clearly wasted his effort here.
Segment: Kurt Angle
Angle edits the Rock's words to implicate Rock as an accomplice to Rikishi. Funny stuff.
Segment: Los Conquistadors Promo
Los Conquistadors try very hard to cut this promo, but they do not understand much English and are merely guessing what Kevin Kelly is trying to ask them. So, It's difficult to gauge Los Conquistadors gameplan or strategy.
Match #7:The Hardy Boyz vs. Los Conquistadors (Tag Team Championship)
The Hardyz are the tag team champions, and after Defeating Edge and Christian in a match at Unforgiven 2000, E&C cannot get another tag title match. Thus, Los Conquistadors jumped at the chance and earned this tag title match. Matt threatens to unmask the Conquistadors, because he is disrespectful to the Lucha-libre culture. Early on the shorter of the Conquistadors does an impressive array of forward rolls, but then rolls into a Matt Hardy clothesline. Los Conquistadors try everything in their playbook, but cannot even execute basic double team moves. We get a four man dive spot, which was nice. Matt hits the twist of fate on one of Los Conquistadors and attempts to unmask him, but he is wearing another! His identity is safe for now. This allows the other Conquistador to jump in and hit the un-prettier for the win.
Winners: Los Conquistadors via Pinfall (New Tag champions)
Rating 6/10
A goofy little match, but at this point, the crowd doesn't care because Austin's match is over and done with. The crowd is just not into it anymore, which is sad, because The Hardyz, Edge, and Christian tried so hard too.
Segment: Triple H
Backstage, HHH watches as HeWhoShallNotBeNamed applies the crossface to him. HHH notices something and smiles.
Segment: Triple H/HeWhoShallNotBeNamed video promo
This match came about when HeWhoShallNotBeNamed HEADBUTTED Stephanie. Yes, this entire storyline was that HeWhoShallNotBeNamed was a creepy stalker who liked to beat women....not touching it.
Match #8:Triple H vs. HeWhoShallNotBeNamed
HHH gets a big pop when he comes out. This is when he was toying with the idea of being the number 3 baby-face on the roster. Then he said screw it and became the top heel. "Triple H" chant to start the match Slugfest and HHH gets the better and starts working on the knee of HeWhoShallNotBeNamed. This continues til HeWhoShallNotBeNamed dumps HHH over the ropes then catapults him into the steel post. HHH then eats the steps shoulder-first and HeWhoShallNotBeNamed goes on to work the shoulder more in the ring After a swan dive head butt to the shoulder, HHH reverses and hits an inverted suplex. HHH does his few comeback spots then hits a superplex for a 2. HeWhoShallNotBeNamed rebounds for his two Germans, but HHH counters the third, then gets caught with a dragon suplex for a 2. Crossface applied and HHH....just...powers out. Ooookay. The hold is re-applied and HHH....Just...powers out and hits an odd looking DVD. Stephanie comes bouncing out and slaps HeWhoShallNotBeNamed in the face. Then, DARES him to do something about it. Oh...this isn't going to end well. Pedigree is countered, Crossface countered, Pedigree countered, Crossface countered with a low blow and HHH hits the Pedigree for the win.
Winner: Triple H via Pinfall
Rating: 6/10
Not bad psychology by both men. Would have liked to see the body part work play more into the match, and Stephanie's interference was negligible.
Segment: Edge and Christian
E&C celebrate with Los Conquistadors. E&C declare they have a tag title match the next night on Raw. Alrighty.
Match #9: The Rock vs. Kurt Angle (WWF Title)
Stephanie distracts the Rock and Kurt jump starts the match. Angle tosses the Rock around on the outside, throwing him into everything. Then he blasts the Rock in the back with a chair...I guess this match is No DQ. Rock fights back and Angle decides to hightail it. Rock chases him down and fights him in the entrance way....I guess this match is no countout as well. Angle fights back and the match returns to the ring, then Angle misses a knee in the corner and Rock comes back. Rock then blasts Kurt's knee with a chair a couple of times. Rock locks in his...terrible,terrible sharpshooter and Angle taps. But Stephanie has the ref tied up so it doesn't count. Once again, time keeper does nothing but ring the bell when told to. Stephanie distracts the Rock, so he chases her, albeit slowly because she's a girl, and wearing heels. Rock runs into a belly-to-belly for his troubles. Angle is in control using a reverse chin lock and then Rock comes back after our false 3 arm check and throws Angle over the top rope. That would be a DQ in the NWA, sir! Rock and Angle go back and forth on the floor, then Stephanie grabs the world title and throws it in the ring, then distracts the ref. Rock eats the belt and Angle gets a two. Angle goes back on the offense, but Rock gets in a superplex! He also only gets two. Angle hits a German, but misses a moonsault. Kurt's moonsault was always pretty, but he never hit it. Rocky hits a wrap around DDT for a 2, then Rock nails the spinebuster. Rock prepares for the people's elbow but Stephanie stands in his way. Rock....gives her a Rock bottom! Rock again prepares his elbow for Stephanie's boobs, but Angle stops it. HHHruns briskly jogs to the ring and punches Angle in the face. Rock wonders what HHH is doing out there, and eats a Pedigree for his troubles. HHH carries Stephanie away from the ring. Angle covers, but gets a 2. Rock comes back with another DDT for another 2. And...after a lot of stalling, Rikishi, bloody and beaten hobbles out. I thought he went to the hospital? Apparently a man with an open head wound can easily check himself out of a hospital. Angle tries to leave but punches Rikishi for...being there I guess. Rikishi punches him and throws him back into the ring. Rock seems...okay with this. Angle gets in a low blow, but then walks into a Rock Bottom...for a 2! This match is falling apart....Rikishi gets into the ring and charges and squashes both Angle and The Rock. Rikishi then tries to superkick Angle, but Angle ducks and Rikishi blasts the Rock! Angle Slam to Rikishi and one for The Rock and Kurt Angle wins. Angle celebrates his less than one year rise to the WWF title, So much so that he forgot the title and Earl Hebner has to run it up to him. Fade on Angle celebrating.
Winner: Kurt Angle
Rating: 4/10
What happened here? This match started out so well, a lot of back and forth, and then...the wheels just came off this thing. Rikishi's presence made no sense, and the pacing just went haywire. There were pinfalls at random times and kicking out of finishers and I...I don't even know.
Overall Rating 4/10
This is where WWE's show starting to take a serious nose dive in overall quality. It was okay, but the wheels fell off the Main Event, One match didn't even take place, and top draw of the show was a no contest. It just...fell apart.
Alright, what's next?
Match Card:
1) The Dudley Boyz vs. Too Cool vs. Right to Censor vs. Tazz & Raven vs. Lo Down (Dudleyz Table Invitational)
2) T&A & Trish Stratus vs. The APA & Lita (Six Person Tag)
3) Chris Jericho vs. X-Pac (Steel Cage Match)
4) Mr. Ass & Chyna vs. Right to Censor
5) Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Rikishi (No Holds Barred)
6) William Regal vs. Naked Mideon (European Championship)
7) The Hardy Boyz vs. Los Conquistadors (Tag Team Championship)
8) Triple H vs. HeWhoShallNotBeNamed
9) The Rock vs. Kurt Angle (WWF Title)
Location: Albany, NY
Our hosts: JR and the King.
Match 1: Dudley Table Invitational
This match is under gauntlet rules. Two teams start, when one team in eliminated, another comes out. Too Cool and Lo Down start the fun. What the heck happened to D'lo? He was European champion, Intercontinental title contender, and then he gets stuck with Headbanger Mosh as a partner in a team that went no where. And guess what, D'lo and Chaz are eliminated in about 3 minutes when Scotty pushes Chaz off the top rope through a table. Also, to compound the humiliation, D'lo frog splashes a table. Also, if you noticed, Too Cool got most of their spots in early.
Eliminated: Lo Down
Next Team Out: Tazz and Raven
Each team brings a table to the ring, why, I don't know because everyone knows there's a whole plethora of tables, ladders, chairs, sledgehammers, kendo sticks, brass knuckles, Bags of salt, trash cans, and various other non-ring equipment under there. Anyway, Grandmaster Sexay tries do the sunset flip powerbomb on Raven to the outside, through a table, but his foot hits the table and it breaks. But since that's not the finish, we continue. Again, Tazz and Raven get their spots in, and Too Cool finish there's with a worm. Tazz and Raven, suplex Scotty through the table to finish.
Eliminated: Too Cool
Next Team Out: The Dudleyz.
Yes, it's an all ECW table's match for about 2 minutes. Which is pretty sweet. Dudleyz pretty much wipe the floor with Tazz and Raven, then D-Von Leg drops Tazz through the table to eliminate them.
Eliminated: Tazz & Raven
Next Team Out: RTC
Well, Bull and the Goodfather just brawl with the Dudleyz here. You know, the RTC was GREAT at getting heat. The Goodfather, Val Venis, great as those heels after being fun baby-faces. Anyway, Bull clocks the ref with a clothesline, meaning...~ DUSTY FINISH ~ Buh Buh powerbombs Bull through the table, but there's no referee. So, this begs a question: What exactly is the timekeeper's job? Can he not ring the bell without the ref telling him to? He totally saw this, but he does nothing. Goodfather KO's Buh Buh with a chair, pulls Bull out of the wreckage, and swaps Bubba in his place. The ref comes to and calls for the bell, BIG boos. Another ref runs down and the match is ordered to restart. Goodfather eats a 3-D through the table for the win.
Eliminated: The RTC.
Winners: Dudley Boyz via 3-D
Rating: 4/10
Simply a brawl and a chance to get some other tag teams on the show. This was for nothing, and it had a dusty finish.
Segment: Rikishi backstage
Rikishi, sledgehammer in hand, waits for Stone Cold to show up.
Segment: T&A & Trish
Backstage, Trish adjusts her boobies. Test asks if they will fall out of her top. Albert says the smartest thing he may have ever said and tells Trish to let them fall where they may. Trish agrees.
Video package: APA vs. T&A Strip Poker.
Why did this happen on Heat? T&A lose all their Money to the APA. So they offer up Trish's clothes. At one point, she is topless. Do Test and Albert know how to play poker? Why didn't anyone ever win against the APA in poker besides Jackie? I think they're cheaters.
Match #2:T&A & Trish Stratus vs. The APA & Lita (Six Person Tag)
Lita out first, but T&A beat down the APA before they can come out. Lita goes back to try and help, but gets cut off. It's pretty much a 3 on 1 beatdown until the Hardy Boyz save Lita.
Winner: No Contest
Rating: 1/10
This wasn't even a match. But Trish and Lita being hot save it from being a total dud.
Segment: Edge & Christian interview
Edge and Christian say they did not compete in the tag team table gauntlet because of food poisoning from bad peanuts. All sort of sexual innuendos from this.
Match #3:Chris Jericho vs. X-Pac (Steel Cage Match)
Jericho admits on the mic he has no idea why he's fueding X-pac. He's clearly frustrated at this point in his WWF career. Also, pinfalls and submissions are irrelevant. Only escape wins you the match. You know, I never understood why a cage match was escape only ever. The point of a cage match is to make sure your opponent cannot escape....Anyway, Y2J and Pac deliver a big match here, just because they can. Jericho hits all kinds of moves including a springboard dropkick to stop X-pac from climbing out, a missle dropkick, and later stops X-Pac's escape with a SUPERBOMB! Jericho tries to climb, but gets crotched for his efforts. X-Pac tries to escape but it caught by Jericho, but pulls a chair into the ring and brains Jericho with it. Jericho catches X-Pac's escape by crotching him on the cage, then applies the Walls on the top of the cage! X-pac kicks him off the top all the way to the mat. Seemingly having the match won. He chooses to showboat and it costs him as Jericho dropkicks the cage, and X-pac falls on the cage door and crotches himself. Y2J escapes for the win.
Winner: Chris Jericho via Escape
Rating: 7/10
It's was a good match, but it was clear Jericho deserved better and this cage was simply an added attraction for no real reason.
Segment: Rikishi and Mick Foley
Yah! Foley is the commish. Rikishi demands to know why Austin hasn't shown up yet and wants a forfeit victory. Foley says Austin will be here, but if he's not, Foley will come out and raise Rikishi's hand himself.
Match #4:Mr. Ass & Chyna vs. Right to Censor
This RTC is Venis and Stevie Richards. Ass and Chyna beat up Val for a while, and Steven fairs no better. Finally RTC gain the edge and beat up Mr. Ass for a while. I cannot believe I'm typing Mr. Ass so much. Gunn tags Chyna and she's a house of fire. One swinging neckbreaker later, Chyna seems primed to win, but the other members of RTC hit the ring. Billy attacks them leaving Eddie Guerrero time to sneak in and blast Chyna with a bouquet of roses which...knock her out. Venis pins Chyna as the ref ignores the broken glass all over the ring.
Winners: RTC via Pinfall
Rating: DUD
As simple as a tag match gets. Stevie was injured going into this, and this probably didn't help anything. Unremarkable match more suited for a throwaway RAW.
Segment: Triple H and Stephanie
Backstage, Stephanie requests to accompany Hunter to the ring for his match. Trips says no. Stephanie, ever the master technical wrestler, has a tape for Hunter to watch on how to counter the crossface. Yes, Stephanie McMahon noticed a "weakness" in the crossface. Give me a break. Triple H is also holding Stephanie's safety on Kurt Angle's head later.
Match #5:Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Rikishi (No Holds Barred)
Rikishi comes out in an Hawaiian mu-mu looking thing. It looks Ridiculous. Then again, he wears a sumo Mawashi with no pants. So yeah. Austin pulls into the arena in his truck, gets out, and proceeds to beat the piss out of Rikishi. For a long, long, time. Austin beats Rikishi with a chair, his belt, anything he sees fit. Austin whacks Rikishi with a chair and he flops into the back of his pickup. Austin gets up, Opens up a beer (don't drink and drive kids) and backs Rikishi into the parking lot and goes to run him down down much like Rikishi did to him. However, the cops stop Austin (showing up on scene in record time) Austin is arrested.
Winner: No contest
Rating: 3/10
This match was really a one-sided beat down, but they were pushing Rikishi as a heel at the time, and Austin is Austin. So all that means is that this was, was one big match that amounted to nothing.
Segment: Parking Lot
Rikishi gets an ambulance ride.
Match #6:William Regal vs. Naked Mideon (European Championship)
Regal does not want to wrestle Mideon at all. Nor would I. Nor should anyone. Nothing against Dennis Knight, but why is he naked? Why? Mideon is forced to wear clothes by Mick Foley. Mideon threatens a start stripping but at least for the moment, he does not. Regal just beats up Mideon and clearly out-wrestles him, until Mideon takes off his shirt. Mideon gets some offense in but Regal counters with a butterfly suplex. Mideon whips off his pants...wonderful. At least he has a fanny pack on. Mideon kisses Regal....okay...Mideon gets crotched on the top rope. Regal is about to apply the Regal stretch but fears he may accidently stick his junk in Mideon's naked ass. Thinking better of it, Regal hits the Regal-cutter for the win.
Winner: William Regal via Pinfall
Rating: DUD
Who in the hell though a grown man running around wearing only a fanny pack and thong would get over? If it was Trish, I could see it. But Mideon? Also, William Regal is great. But clearly wasted his effort here.
Segment: Kurt Angle
Angle edits the Rock's words to implicate Rock as an accomplice to Rikishi. Funny stuff.
Segment: Los Conquistadors Promo
Los Conquistadors try very hard to cut this promo, but they do not understand much English and are merely guessing what Kevin Kelly is trying to ask them. So, It's difficult to gauge Los Conquistadors gameplan or strategy.
Match #7:The Hardy Boyz vs. Los Conquistadors (Tag Team Championship)
The Hardyz are the tag team champions, and after Defeating Edge and Christian in a match at Unforgiven 2000, E&C cannot get another tag title match. Thus, Los Conquistadors jumped at the chance and earned this tag title match. Matt threatens to unmask the Conquistadors, because he is disrespectful to the Lucha-libre culture. Early on the shorter of the Conquistadors does an impressive array of forward rolls, but then rolls into a Matt Hardy clothesline. Los Conquistadors try everything in their playbook, but cannot even execute basic double team moves. We get a four man dive spot, which was nice. Matt hits the twist of fate on one of Los Conquistadors and attempts to unmask him, but he is wearing another! His identity is safe for now. This allows the other Conquistador to jump in and hit the un-prettier for the win.
Winners: Los Conquistadors via Pinfall (New Tag champions)
Rating 6/10
A goofy little match, but at this point, the crowd doesn't care because Austin's match is over and done with. The crowd is just not into it anymore, which is sad, because The Hardyz, Edge, and Christian tried so hard too.
Segment: Triple H
Backstage, HHH watches as HeWhoShallNotBeNamed applies the crossface to him. HHH notices something and smiles.
Segment: Triple H/HeWhoShallNotBeNamed video promo
This match came about when HeWhoShallNotBeNamed HEADBUTTED Stephanie. Yes, this entire storyline was that HeWhoShallNotBeNamed was a creepy stalker who liked to beat women....not touching it.
Match #8:Triple H vs. HeWhoShallNotBeNamed
HHH gets a big pop when he comes out. This is when he was toying with the idea of being the number 3 baby-face on the roster. Then he said screw it and became the top heel. "Triple H" chant to start the match Slugfest and HHH gets the better and starts working on the knee of HeWhoShallNotBeNamed. This continues til HeWhoShallNotBeNamed dumps HHH over the ropes then catapults him into the steel post. HHH then eats the steps shoulder-first and HeWhoShallNotBeNamed goes on to work the shoulder more in the ring After a swan dive head butt to the shoulder, HHH reverses and hits an inverted suplex. HHH does his few comeback spots then hits a superplex for a 2. HeWhoShallNotBeNamed rebounds for his two Germans, but HHH counters the third, then gets caught with a dragon suplex for a 2. Crossface applied and HHH....just...powers out. Ooookay. The hold is re-applied and HHH....Just...powers out and hits an odd looking DVD. Stephanie comes bouncing out and slaps HeWhoShallNotBeNamed in the face. Then, DARES him to do something about it. Oh...this isn't going to end well. Pedigree is countered, Crossface countered, Pedigree countered, Crossface countered with a low blow and HHH hits the Pedigree for the win.
Winner: Triple H via Pinfall
Rating: 6/10
Not bad psychology by both men. Would have liked to see the body part work play more into the match, and Stephanie's interference was negligible.
Segment: Edge and Christian
E&C celebrate with Los Conquistadors. E&C declare they have a tag title match the next night on Raw. Alrighty.
Match #9: The Rock vs. Kurt Angle (WWF Title)
Stephanie distracts the Rock and Kurt jump starts the match. Angle tosses the Rock around on the outside, throwing him into everything. Then he blasts the Rock in the back with a chair...I guess this match is No DQ. Rock fights back and Angle decides to hightail it. Rock chases him down and fights him in the entrance way....I guess this match is no countout as well. Angle fights back and the match returns to the ring, then Angle misses a knee in the corner and Rock comes back. Rock then blasts Kurt's knee with a chair a couple of times. Rock locks in his...terrible,terrible sharpshooter and Angle taps. But Stephanie has the ref tied up so it doesn't count. Once again, time keeper does nothing but ring the bell when told to. Stephanie distracts the Rock, so he chases her, albeit slowly because she's a girl, and wearing heels. Rock runs into a belly-to-belly for his troubles. Angle is in control using a reverse chin lock and then Rock comes back after our false 3 arm check and throws Angle over the top rope. That would be a DQ in the NWA, sir! Rock and Angle go back and forth on the floor, then Stephanie grabs the world title and throws it in the ring, then distracts the ref. Rock eats the belt and Angle gets a two. Angle goes back on the offense, but Rock gets in a superplex! He also only gets two. Angle hits a German, but misses a moonsault. Kurt's moonsault was always pretty, but he never hit it. Rocky hits a wrap around DDT for a 2, then Rock nails the spinebuster. Rock prepares for the people's elbow but Stephanie stands in his way. Rock....gives her a Rock bottom! Rock again prepares his elbow for Stephanie's boobs, but Angle stops it. HHH
Winner: Kurt Angle
Rating: 4/10
What happened here? This match started out so well, a lot of back and forth, and then...the wheels just came off this thing. Rikishi's presence made no sense, and the pacing just went haywire. There were pinfalls at random times and kicking out of finishers and I...I don't even know.
Overall Rating 4/10
This is where WWE's show starting to take a serious nose dive in overall quality. It was okay, but the wheels fell off the Main Event, One match didn't even take place, and top draw of the show was a no contest. It just...fell apart.
Alright, what's next?