Post by Nathan Webb on Feb 3, 2013 0:38:07 GMT -6
It was Friday morning and I found myself waking up to my alarm at six-thirty in the morning. Yes I was in Miami…and yes I should have been enjoying the fruits of my labor more as a somewhat established star of the organization I represented but for some reason…I didn’t feel the desire to do so.
Today just like the rest of weekend I would be spending the majority of my time doing press junkets and autograph signings…but for the rest of my time going to exclusive clubs and talking to shallow women just didn’t appeal to me.
Looking at my IPhone and seeing the time, even though I knew what time it was, I stared blankly at it as I let “I’m Not Jesus” play on until I was convinced that I was getting out of bed a few minutes later.
Turning off my alarm I flipped the covers and crawled sleepily out of bed as I made my way to the bathroom. For whatever reason I didn’t want to get up…I guess with what was happening…the bad of what Rose was going through and the good of a potential opportunity…and the hating of the pretense of the pre pay per view activities I guess I would be more content in staying in bed then going out to face the world. But seeing I had a contractual obligation to all of this I really had no choice in this matter.
As I stepped in the shower I stood there as I let the hot water come over me and try to wake me up…The last week honestly felt like a blur…I was just not feeling it…I really wanted to be excited and upbeat…but for whatever reason…I just couldn’t feel excited in the here and now…I just couldn’t help but feel guilty for what was happening to Rose and the feeling of being powerless to really stop it…
After I had taken my shower and put on fresh clothes and was tying my shoes in order to leave when I heard a familiar voice in front of me.
“If this isn’t the most morose mother ****er that I have ever seen.” As I looked up I saw him plain as day…It was Nate Nate…my more colorful side…who hadn’t been a factor for over a year but for some reason decided to show up today.
“Seriously…I have no time for this. What in the hell do you want?” I said as I tried to finish tying up my shoes in hopes that he would actually leave me the hell alone.
“What do I want? I should be asking you the same thing. I mean look at you…for someone who is about to have the match of a life time…a match that may dictate you championship destiny…you sure look like someone who had his cereal **** in.”
I took a deep breath in… “Really…I really don’t have any time for this…I got to eat and do this damn press conference… so if you don’t mind go back into my head where you belong.”
Nate Nate chuckled a little bit at my aggressive tone as he took a seat on the bed next to me. “Well that all depends on you…you got some issues to resolve…and that’s what I am here for…as soon as you deal…I leave…”
I let out a heavy sigh as I slapped my thighs. I really didn’t want this right now, but unfortunately I didn’t need any more distractions in the coming hours so I beckoned him to proceed.
“Good,” he said rubbing his hands together, “now where were we?... Oh yes you were moping instead of feeling ready for this match you have on Sunday.”
“You know why.”
“Ahh, yes…your dear sister Rose…now why in the hell is that bothering you?”
I immediately got up off the bed…and turned around trying to get as close to his face as possible. “So you are saying I have no right to be worried? That I bear no responsibility to the **** that seems to be piling up around me?”
Nate Nate didn’t even blink answering my question with one of his own. “So you are saying you feel guilty about all of this? You think this is all your fault?”
“And it isn’t?”
“Well last time I checked…it wasn’t you who put Rose in this match it was that bitch Kathy Conway who did…”
“And I didn’t do anything to provoke the anger from her? From the way I look at things…I am as just to blame for that sick excuse of a match as Kathy is.”
“Really…you honestly believe that crap?... You honestly believe…no wait…you are not mad about causing that match as you are about the fact that it isn’t you…like you had hoped? It was you who was supposed to be put through hell and not Rose?...that’s why you are hating yourself right now…that is why you feel so guilty…because you feel that so called child is about to be ripped to shreds right now? Tell me it isn’t…because frankly I know it is.”
“She doesn’t deserve this and you KNOW that.”
“Maybe…but unfortunately bad things happen to good people…but the thing you can’t do is pretend that she isn’t a child. You may think you are leading a lamb to a slaughter…but you are not.”
I stepped back behind me as I slumped into a chair that was close by and I put my face into my hands and seeing me like that Nate Nate was ready
“Remember Rose was just as ready and willing to go through hell with you. In the end she wanted to see you get better mentally…and from that she was able to get better herself…she wanted to be on this journey as much as you did…and not only that…she believed in the cause just as much as you did… Again Rose is walking her own path like you are...but she is doing it side by side with you…and frankly you have nothing…and I mean NOTHING to feel guilty about.”
“So what do I do? Is there anything I can do?” I asked with my hands somewhat muffling my mouth.
“Honestly there is nothing you really can do. Things have to play out…and as much as you would like to change things…whatever will happen will happen…and well that is life bro.”
I heaved another huge sigh…I believed questions within myself were being answered but it didn’t make everything any easier.
“I know what your greatest fear is man.”
“Oh yeah and what is that?”
“You are afraid of losing her. You are afraid of losing the closest thing to a blood relative that you have had in a while…and frankly you shouldn’t be…despite what may happen…you will always be her big brother…and nothing will change that. You have to trust that everything will work out in the end, despite how long it may take.”
“I have to trust that everything will work out in the end...”
That phrase stuck in my head all throughout the day. Whether it was because it was a thought that lingered genuinely or because it was planted there in my subconscious I could not answer for certain. I just knew it was there…
“Mr. Webb do you have an answer to the question?”
I was snapped back to a semblance of reality hearing that from some reporter at the Metamorphosis press conference that I was at. Unfortunately that phrase was turning out to be a distraction as well.
I shook my head and took a sip of water in order to try and snap back to reality.
“I’m sorry what was question again?” I asked trying to keep collected.
The reporter sighed obviously hating to repeat himself. “Do you have any response to what Kathy Conway said that you were holding Rose Acantha back…and that on Sunday she would free her?”
I sighed now myself. I was really not wanting to answer these types of questions right now. “Well Kathy is more than welcome to having her opinion…but let me respond by saying that at no point have I dragged around Rose or forced to take part in anything she never wanted to do. We both wanted this fight…possibly for separate reasons…but we were both willing participants none the less.”
“Are you actually implying that she is on her own?”
“No I would never say such a thing. What I am saying is that we both knew the risks of what could have happened…and unfortunately on Sunday…one of those nightmares becomes a reality…and believe me I am not even close to having any desire to see her take part in this then she is…but in the end I know I believe this match is going to be about the horrible person that Kathy Conway is rather than…our own parts in this whole things.”
"So what do you think of Kathy Conway’s statement that she is freeing Rose Acantha?”
“That is completely and utterly ludicrous. Frankly that is the same trash the Conway’s have used for every opponent especially in brutal matches like these. It’s getting old and it is getting tired. They used it for me and the they are using it for Jacobson and of course now they are using it for Rose. Frankly it’s just a catchphrase to them and that is about it. They aren’t freeing anyone from anything…we are all perfectly capable of being our own persons without dictating the type of people we NEED to be. Anyway can someone else ask a question?”
“Yes…Mr. Webb…Do you honestly believe that Xander will actually be more emotional than normal in this match…even more so than he was at your singles match in the Collision prior?”
“I actually do yes. Frankly in the grand scheme of things…he has much more to gain then I …and a whole lot more to lose. If I get beaten…sure I chalk it up to a loss…but I move on…it’s a slight set back but nothing I can’t recover from. For Xander it is all about showing the world that he never lost a beat. Now if he loses not only is he back completely to square one but in the end he is on the bad side of his new master Roberto Verona…who knows what could happen after that. I mean he was benched before and I am sure Roberto will not be scared to bench him again. This match to Xander is career altering…and losing, especially to me, is not going to be an option. So yes…I know that there is going to be more emotion then even Xander can hold in…and at some point it will start to trickle out until finally that dam breaks…it will only be a matter of time. Next question please.”
“So yeah…uh…is there any strategy that you plan on employing for this bout…?”
“Honestly there is no real strategy…I just plan on doing everything I can to kick his ass…and frankly outlast any barrage he might be able to throw out against me…it’s going to happen…I just have to be ready, and I have to be able to cope.”
“So are you going to be able to guarantee a victory?”
“I don’t make guarantees…but I will promise that I will be in this match giving it my all…just like I have done every week…but I am confident in my abilities to pull out a win…but again I don’t make predictions…I never have and I never will.”
After that question…Carly Robbins who was playing M.C. to this press conference came to the front of the stage. “Okay that’s it for Nathan Webb. I am sure he will be available for further questions later but for right now we need to move to our next wrestler which will take place in the next couple minutes if you all will stand by….”
I really wasn’t in any mood to stay for anything further. To be honest what was going to be taking place on Sunday was at the forefront of my conscious. I knew on Sunday the lives of Rose and myself could possibly change forever and not entirely in a good way… To be honest for the first time in a long time I was actually scared of what possibly could transpire and I really was dreading Sunday night…
Today just like the rest of weekend I would be spending the majority of my time doing press junkets and autograph signings…but for the rest of my time going to exclusive clubs and talking to shallow women just didn’t appeal to me.
Looking at my IPhone and seeing the time, even though I knew what time it was, I stared blankly at it as I let “I’m Not Jesus” play on until I was convinced that I was getting out of bed a few minutes later.
Turning off my alarm I flipped the covers and crawled sleepily out of bed as I made my way to the bathroom. For whatever reason I didn’t want to get up…I guess with what was happening…the bad of what Rose was going through and the good of a potential opportunity…and the hating of the pretense of the pre pay per view activities I guess I would be more content in staying in bed then going out to face the world. But seeing I had a contractual obligation to all of this I really had no choice in this matter.
As I stepped in the shower I stood there as I let the hot water come over me and try to wake me up…The last week honestly felt like a blur…I was just not feeling it…I really wanted to be excited and upbeat…but for whatever reason…I just couldn’t feel excited in the here and now…I just couldn’t help but feel guilty for what was happening to Rose and the feeling of being powerless to really stop it…
After I had taken my shower and put on fresh clothes and was tying my shoes in order to leave when I heard a familiar voice in front of me.
“If this isn’t the most morose mother ****er that I have ever seen.” As I looked up I saw him plain as day…It was Nate Nate…my more colorful side…who hadn’t been a factor for over a year but for some reason decided to show up today.
“Seriously…I have no time for this. What in the hell do you want?” I said as I tried to finish tying up my shoes in hopes that he would actually leave me the hell alone.
“What do I want? I should be asking you the same thing. I mean look at you…for someone who is about to have the match of a life time…a match that may dictate you championship destiny…you sure look like someone who had his cereal **** in.”
I took a deep breath in… “Really…I really don’t have any time for this…I got to eat and do this damn press conference… so if you don’t mind go back into my head where you belong.”
Nate Nate chuckled a little bit at my aggressive tone as he took a seat on the bed next to me. “Well that all depends on you…you got some issues to resolve…and that’s what I am here for…as soon as you deal…I leave…”
I let out a heavy sigh as I slapped my thighs. I really didn’t want this right now, but unfortunately I didn’t need any more distractions in the coming hours so I beckoned him to proceed.
“Good,” he said rubbing his hands together, “now where were we?... Oh yes you were moping instead of feeling ready for this match you have on Sunday.”
“You know why.”
“Ahh, yes…your dear sister Rose…now why in the hell is that bothering you?”
I immediately got up off the bed…and turned around trying to get as close to his face as possible. “So you are saying I have no right to be worried? That I bear no responsibility to the **** that seems to be piling up around me?”
Nate Nate didn’t even blink answering my question with one of his own. “So you are saying you feel guilty about all of this? You think this is all your fault?”
“And it isn’t?”
“Well last time I checked…it wasn’t you who put Rose in this match it was that bitch Kathy Conway who did…”
“And I didn’t do anything to provoke the anger from her? From the way I look at things…I am as just to blame for that sick excuse of a match as Kathy is.”
“Really…you honestly believe that crap?... You honestly believe…no wait…you are not mad about causing that match as you are about the fact that it isn’t you…like you had hoped? It was you who was supposed to be put through hell and not Rose?...that’s why you are hating yourself right now…that is why you feel so guilty…because you feel that so called child is about to be ripped to shreds right now? Tell me it isn’t…because frankly I know it is.”
“She doesn’t deserve this and you KNOW that.”
“Maybe…but unfortunately bad things happen to good people…but the thing you can’t do is pretend that she isn’t a child. You may think you are leading a lamb to a slaughter…but you are not.”
I stepped back behind me as I slumped into a chair that was close by and I put my face into my hands and seeing me like that Nate Nate was ready
“Remember Rose was just as ready and willing to go through hell with you. In the end she wanted to see you get better mentally…and from that she was able to get better herself…she wanted to be on this journey as much as you did…and not only that…she believed in the cause just as much as you did… Again Rose is walking her own path like you are...but she is doing it side by side with you…and frankly you have nothing…and I mean NOTHING to feel guilty about.”
“So what do I do? Is there anything I can do?” I asked with my hands somewhat muffling my mouth.
“Honestly there is nothing you really can do. Things have to play out…and as much as you would like to change things…whatever will happen will happen…and well that is life bro.”
I heaved another huge sigh…I believed questions within myself were being answered but it didn’t make everything any easier.
“I know what your greatest fear is man.”
“Oh yeah and what is that?”
“You are afraid of losing her. You are afraid of losing the closest thing to a blood relative that you have had in a while…and frankly you shouldn’t be…despite what may happen…you will always be her big brother…and nothing will change that. You have to trust that everything will work out in the end, despite how long it may take.”
“I have to trust that everything will work out in the end...”
That phrase stuck in my head all throughout the day. Whether it was because it was a thought that lingered genuinely or because it was planted there in my subconscious I could not answer for certain. I just knew it was there…
“Mr. Webb do you have an answer to the question?”
I was snapped back to a semblance of reality hearing that from some reporter at the Metamorphosis press conference that I was at. Unfortunately that phrase was turning out to be a distraction as well.
I shook my head and took a sip of water in order to try and snap back to reality.
“I’m sorry what was question again?” I asked trying to keep collected.
The reporter sighed obviously hating to repeat himself. “Do you have any response to what Kathy Conway said that you were holding Rose Acantha back…and that on Sunday she would free her?”
I sighed now myself. I was really not wanting to answer these types of questions right now. “Well Kathy is more than welcome to having her opinion…but let me respond by saying that at no point have I dragged around Rose or forced to take part in anything she never wanted to do. We both wanted this fight…possibly for separate reasons…but we were both willing participants none the less.”
“Are you actually implying that she is on her own?”
“No I would never say such a thing. What I am saying is that we both knew the risks of what could have happened…and unfortunately on Sunday…one of those nightmares becomes a reality…and believe me I am not even close to having any desire to see her take part in this then she is…but in the end I know I believe this match is going to be about the horrible person that Kathy Conway is rather than…our own parts in this whole things.”
"So what do you think of Kathy Conway’s statement that she is freeing Rose Acantha?”
“That is completely and utterly ludicrous. Frankly that is the same trash the Conway’s have used for every opponent especially in brutal matches like these. It’s getting old and it is getting tired. They used it for me and the they are using it for Jacobson and of course now they are using it for Rose. Frankly it’s just a catchphrase to them and that is about it. They aren’t freeing anyone from anything…we are all perfectly capable of being our own persons without dictating the type of people we NEED to be. Anyway can someone else ask a question?”
“Yes…Mr. Webb…Do you honestly believe that Xander will actually be more emotional than normal in this match…even more so than he was at your singles match in the Collision prior?”
“I actually do yes. Frankly in the grand scheme of things…he has much more to gain then I …and a whole lot more to lose. If I get beaten…sure I chalk it up to a loss…but I move on…it’s a slight set back but nothing I can’t recover from. For Xander it is all about showing the world that he never lost a beat. Now if he loses not only is he back completely to square one but in the end he is on the bad side of his new master Roberto Verona…who knows what could happen after that. I mean he was benched before and I am sure Roberto will not be scared to bench him again. This match to Xander is career altering…and losing, especially to me, is not going to be an option. So yes…I know that there is going to be more emotion then even Xander can hold in…and at some point it will start to trickle out until finally that dam breaks…it will only be a matter of time. Next question please.”
“So yeah…uh…is there any strategy that you plan on employing for this bout…?”
“Honestly there is no real strategy…I just plan on doing everything I can to kick his ass…and frankly outlast any barrage he might be able to throw out against me…it’s going to happen…I just have to be ready, and I have to be able to cope.”
“So are you going to be able to guarantee a victory?”
“I don’t make guarantees…but I will promise that I will be in this match giving it my all…just like I have done every week…but I am confident in my abilities to pull out a win…but again I don’t make predictions…I never have and I never will.”
After that question…Carly Robbins who was playing M.C. to this press conference came to the front of the stage. “Okay that’s it for Nathan Webb. I am sure he will be available for further questions later but for right now we need to move to our next wrestler which will take place in the next couple minutes if you all will stand by….”
I really wasn’t in any mood to stay for anything further. To be honest what was going to be taking place on Sunday was at the forefront of my conscious. I knew on Sunday the lives of Rose and myself could possibly change forever and not entirely in a good way… To be honest for the first time in a long time I was actually scared of what possibly could transpire and I really was dreading Sunday night…