Post by Mike Laszlo on Feb 16, 2013 19:51:07 GMT -6
Goons?
Really?
I hate goons.
Those who need goons are those who can’t handle their own business. Now before you go off and get bent like a hooker in the men’s room, don’t twist my words. Roberto Verona proved that he had what it took two weeks ago at Metamorphosis. Last week though he went right back to being the weak, pathetic piece of crap that the world has come to know him as. Last week to open the show, I, in the center of that ring, tried to do what I said I would do, shake the man’s hand. He wanted none of it though. He pulled his hand away and turned his back on me. Stupid move. After the hell we put each other through Roberto, you turn your back on me with a steel chair in the ring? How did that workout for you?
So, as retaliation, you have your goons attack me? I’d rather have you walk down that ramp and blast me in the head with a chair. That’s not how you work anymore. Now…you have goons. You have two flaming pieces of cow dung ready to attack a man in the dark at the snap of your fingers. Well, let me just say that I guarantee you that those two, whoever they are, will pay dearly for putting their hands on me.
All in good time champ…all in good time.
What also happened last week was an announcement of my intent for the coming weeks. The Ace has the National Championship for a third time…I want it for my first. You beat me when I was green Ace, but as all the bests do…I’ve learned from my mistakes, I’ve adapted, and I’ve moved on, defeating you in a cage match, then following up by kicking your teeth down your throat. The world, more specifically the country, we live in has simple rules of which to abide by Jake. The rules I speak of can be summed up into three simple words:
WANT!
TAKE!
HAVE!
I WANT your National Championship.
When I get my opportunity, I will TAKE your National Championship.
I will raise it high in the air and in the end, the final chapter of this story…I will HAVE your National Championship. Only difference is, by then…it will be MY National Championship.
This week, at least my match however, doesn’t have a damn thing to do with the National Title. While The Ace is off facing Trent Helms to open the show, and our World Champion enjoys being a bum with the night off, I’m in a match toward the end of the show to make sure that ratings don’t drop off the face of the planet when Xander Famularo and Will Washington take on one another in the main event.
Mike Laszlo versus Curtis Kanyon means absolutely nothing. It’s me against the leader of a group with no semblance of purpose. I mean seriously, the Church of Thor? A born again…whatever he is leading a couple of Aussies and a Mr. Rogers/Bozo The Clown wannabe. Then, to make things that much more entertaining, if you look at their bio on NCW.com, it says that their sole purpose is to take over NCW.
Somebody pinch me. I feel like I’m in a bad dream. That has got to be the absolute, no doubt about it, DUMBEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN OR HEARD!
Your takeover has begun boys, but I hate to inform you that there’s a serious problem on the horizon. There’s a…how do I put it, speed bump in the middle of your road to conquering NCW and that “speed bump” goes by the name Mike Laszlo.
This Sunday on Collision, the Church of Thor becomes nothing more than a smoldering, irreparable pile of rubble.
====================
Title: Want Turns To Need (Location)
Location: Cleveland, Ohio
Time: 6:17 PM Local Time
After my trip to Louisiana, I came away with the fact that I was not only getting a dog of my own, but that I also wanted to start a rescue of my own in the Cleveland, Ohio area. She explained to me what it took to get started and what it would take to continue on in my efforts. The main thing of course was a location. I needed somewhere with a lot of land that could be transformed into what I have envisioned, but what I also wanted to do was make sure it was away from the residential area so as not to disturb anyone with the barking. I knew just the place. As I headed out to meet with the realtor at the property, I knew that this would be the perfect area as long as the price was right. As I pulled into the driveway of an abandoned farm house in Eastern Ohio, I saw a silver Toyota Camry sitting at the end of it with a blonde haired woman inside going through her paperwork before looking in her rear-view mirror and seeing me pull in. as she pops the door open, I pull up and stop my car. I exit and she greets me pleasantly.
Realtor: Hi. Mike?
Mike Laszlo: Yes.
Realtor: So I was told that you wanted this exact property? Why?
Mike Laszlo: Well, I’m looking to build a dog rescue. So after visiting one I saw that I would need land and I kind of wanted to be away from the neighbors so that I wouldn’t be bothering anyone.
Realtor: Makes sense…but why this specific property? We have a few on the list that fit the criteria that you’ve laid down.
Mike Laszlo: I’ve driven by here so many times and even looking at it now I think to myself, “What a worn down, crappy looking barn. So I figured, if the price is right, I can buy the property, knock down this beaten down barn and put up a grade-A facility.
Realtor: This property has been down for a long time and the traffic flow isn’t all that high.
Mike Laszlo: What about the previous owners?
Realtor: According to the paperwork, they were an actual farming couple that died about ten years ago. The property was then sold back to the state a year later and has sat here ever since.
Mike Laszlo: Hmmm. As far as traffic, that’s not a big deal. If this gets developed right, the advertising and marketing should take care of that.
Realtor: Want to take a look around?
Mike Laszlo: Sure.
She led me to the farmhouse where we stood on the porch and looked out to the land that came with it. There were tall red painted posts off in the distance that had a trail of wired fencing that outlined the property which was a really decent size that it almost stunned me that there was all this land and nobody had used it in such a long period of time.
Realtor: As you can see, the posts outline the corners of the property. For what you described, this would work, and should be rather easy to re-zone for your purposes.
Mike Laszlo: Perfect. Where do I sign?
Realtor: You don’t want to see the home or barn?
Mike Laszlo: Why? I’m just going to knock it down and build over it.
Realtor: Oh. Well. The paperwork for this specific property still needs to be drawn up. We can meet at my office tomorrow and get it all done.
Mike Laszlo: Does Monday work for you?
Realtor: Sure.
The two of us walked back to the cars and shook hands before we left the property. I felt as I headed home, a sense of accomplishment, knowing that I had taken the next step to my goal.
As I got home and pulled in the driveway, I walked in and saw the girls sitting on the couch with smiles on their faces.
Mike Laszlo: What?
Lindsay Laszlo: Nothing.
Mike Laszlo: Yeah sure.
Alexis came walking in, drying her hands off with a towel. Apparently she didn’t hear me come in.
Alexis Caffrey: Okay, it’s all ready. He’s gonna be shocked.
Then she noticed me.
Alexis Caffrey: Oh. Um. Yeah…
Mike Laszlo: What’s ready?
Lindsay Laszlo: Mike, have you ever thought of going blonde now that your hair is a little longer?
Mike Laszlo: Blonde? Why?
Lindsay Laszlo: Well you’ve been wrestling so long and have the same look. I think your look is getting stale and that this will get you noticed. Alexis likes the idea.
Mike Laszlo: How blonde are we talking here?
Alexis Caffrey: This color.
She holds up a box of platinum blonde hair dye.
Mike Laszlo: Are you serious?
All of them nod their head in agreement.
Mike Laszlo: How long does it stay in?
Alexis Caffrey: Six weeks. Then, if you like it…we can keep doing it. I think it’ll make you extremely marketable. You gotta shave too. Your beard is way too Tetris-esque.
Mike Laszlo: You know what? Fine.
About fifteen minutes later, my beard was gone and the dye was being applied.
Mike Laszlo: I can’t believe I let you guys talk me into this.
Alexis Caffrey: It’ll look great, promise.
A few more minutes and the dye was in and starting to set. Alexis touched it up a bit then had me look in the mirror. It was like I was staring at a completely different person.
Alexis Caffrey: So?
Mike Laszlo: Is that me?
Alexis Caffrey: Duh. Let’s see what the girls think.
We walked out into the family room where I shook my head around a bit showing off the blonde strands.
Alexis Caffrey: What do you think?
Lindsay Laszlo: It really doesn’t look that bad. It kind of gives off that California surfer vibe.
Mike Laszlo: I guess it’s not bad. We’ll see how it goes.
====================
Are you upset that I’m better than you Kanyon?
I’m taking your spot?
What the hell have you done to deserve a shot at the National Title? So you were X-Champion. So you defeated Ken Davison. I held that title for a longer period of time than ANYONE ELSE EVER HAS IN THIS COMPANY!
You can talk all you want about my failed bid for the World Title, but the fact remains to this very day that I am now and always will be better than you and your band of misfit toys.
That is in fact exactly what you group of rejects are.
It was the night before Christmas and little Tommy’s mother wanted to get him one last surprise gift for the holidays. So she dashed from store to store, not a cool toy in sight. Tommy age five was a big wrestling fan and the only action figures left was a collection set entitled “The Church of Thor.” She shrugged her shoulders, grabbed the set and wrapped it nice and pretty.
Christmas morning hits and it was time to open presents. Tommy tore through it all only to leave the action figure set last. Tearing through the paper, he was naturally excited when he saw the NCW logo on the packaging, hoping in his heart of hearts that he was getting a Mike Laszlo action figure, only to be sorely disappointed when he saw Church of Thor. So here was little Tommy, just old enough to read, looked at his mom and said “Mom, you got the wrong one.”
Tommy’s mom apologized, then asked why he didn’t like the Church of Thor. Tommy grabbed one of his plastic hammers and then looked at his mother. “Because all they do is this…”
Taking the hammer he smashed the ever living hell out of the set. Arms, legs, torsos, and heads flew as in the end there was nothing but a scattered bunch of parts. For even at the young age of five he knew what the rest of the world already knows…The Church of Thor ABSOLUTELY SUCKS!
So, Kanyon, bring Thor himself and I guaran-damn-tee you that I will take you out. I’ll take your lackeys out. I’ll take your damn God out. Then, when all is said and done, I move on to The Ace and I take him out, and take his National Title.
There’s nothing you can do about it, so you might as well just accept it as fact.
Really?
I hate goons.
Those who need goons are those who can’t handle their own business. Now before you go off and get bent like a hooker in the men’s room, don’t twist my words. Roberto Verona proved that he had what it took two weeks ago at Metamorphosis. Last week though he went right back to being the weak, pathetic piece of crap that the world has come to know him as. Last week to open the show, I, in the center of that ring, tried to do what I said I would do, shake the man’s hand. He wanted none of it though. He pulled his hand away and turned his back on me. Stupid move. After the hell we put each other through Roberto, you turn your back on me with a steel chair in the ring? How did that workout for you?
So, as retaliation, you have your goons attack me? I’d rather have you walk down that ramp and blast me in the head with a chair. That’s not how you work anymore. Now…you have goons. You have two flaming pieces of cow dung ready to attack a man in the dark at the snap of your fingers. Well, let me just say that I guarantee you that those two, whoever they are, will pay dearly for putting their hands on me.
All in good time champ…all in good time.
What also happened last week was an announcement of my intent for the coming weeks. The Ace has the National Championship for a third time…I want it for my first. You beat me when I was green Ace, but as all the bests do…I’ve learned from my mistakes, I’ve adapted, and I’ve moved on, defeating you in a cage match, then following up by kicking your teeth down your throat. The world, more specifically the country, we live in has simple rules of which to abide by Jake. The rules I speak of can be summed up into three simple words:
WANT!
TAKE!
HAVE!
I WANT your National Championship.
When I get my opportunity, I will TAKE your National Championship.
I will raise it high in the air and in the end, the final chapter of this story…I will HAVE your National Championship. Only difference is, by then…it will be MY National Championship.
This week, at least my match however, doesn’t have a damn thing to do with the National Title. While The Ace is off facing Trent Helms to open the show, and our World Champion enjoys being a bum with the night off, I’m in a match toward the end of the show to make sure that ratings don’t drop off the face of the planet when Xander Famularo and Will Washington take on one another in the main event.
Mike Laszlo versus Curtis Kanyon means absolutely nothing. It’s me against the leader of a group with no semblance of purpose. I mean seriously, the Church of Thor? A born again…whatever he is leading a couple of Aussies and a Mr. Rogers/Bozo The Clown wannabe. Then, to make things that much more entertaining, if you look at their bio on NCW.com, it says that their sole purpose is to take over NCW.
Somebody pinch me. I feel like I’m in a bad dream. That has got to be the absolute, no doubt about it, DUMBEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN OR HEARD!
Your takeover has begun boys, but I hate to inform you that there’s a serious problem on the horizon. There’s a…how do I put it, speed bump in the middle of your road to conquering NCW and that “speed bump” goes by the name Mike Laszlo.
This Sunday on Collision, the Church of Thor becomes nothing more than a smoldering, irreparable pile of rubble.
====================
Title: Want Turns To Need (Location)
Location: Cleveland, Ohio
Time: 6:17 PM Local Time
After my trip to Louisiana, I came away with the fact that I was not only getting a dog of my own, but that I also wanted to start a rescue of my own in the Cleveland, Ohio area. She explained to me what it took to get started and what it would take to continue on in my efforts. The main thing of course was a location. I needed somewhere with a lot of land that could be transformed into what I have envisioned, but what I also wanted to do was make sure it was away from the residential area so as not to disturb anyone with the barking. I knew just the place. As I headed out to meet with the realtor at the property, I knew that this would be the perfect area as long as the price was right. As I pulled into the driveway of an abandoned farm house in Eastern Ohio, I saw a silver Toyota Camry sitting at the end of it with a blonde haired woman inside going through her paperwork before looking in her rear-view mirror and seeing me pull in. as she pops the door open, I pull up and stop my car. I exit and she greets me pleasantly.
Realtor: Hi. Mike?
Mike Laszlo: Yes.
Realtor: So I was told that you wanted this exact property? Why?
Mike Laszlo: Well, I’m looking to build a dog rescue. So after visiting one I saw that I would need land and I kind of wanted to be away from the neighbors so that I wouldn’t be bothering anyone.
Realtor: Makes sense…but why this specific property? We have a few on the list that fit the criteria that you’ve laid down.
Mike Laszlo: I’ve driven by here so many times and even looking at it now I think to myself, “What a worn down, crappy looking barn. So I figured, if the price is right, I can buy the property, knock down this beaten down barn and put up a grade-A facility.
Realtor: This property has been down for a long time and the traffic flow isn’t all that high.
Mike Laszlo: What about the previous owners?
Realtor: According to the paperwork, they were an actual farming couple that died about ten years ago. The property was then sold back to the state a year later and has sat here ever since.
Mike Laszlo: Hmmm. As far as traffic, that’s not a big deal. If this gets developed right, the advertising and marketing should take care of that.
Realtor: Want to take a look around?
Mike Laszlo: Sure.
She led me to the farmhouse where we stood on the porch and looked out to the land that came with it. There were tall red painted posts off in the distance that had a trail of wired fencing that outlined the property which was a really decent size that it almost stunned me that there was all this land and nobody had used it in such a long period of time.
Realtor: As you can see, the posts outline the corners of the property. For what you described, this would work, and should be rather easy to re-zone for your purposes.
Mike Laszlo: Perfect. Where do I sign?
Realtor: You don’t want to see the home or barn?
Mike Laszlo: Why? I’m just going to knock it down and build over it.
Realtor: Oh. Well. The paperwork for this specific property still needs to be drawn up. We can meet at my office tomorrow and get it all done.
Mike Laszlo: Does Monday work for you?
Realtor: Sure.
The two of us walked back to the cars and shook hands before we left the property. I felt as I headed home, a sense of accomplishment, knowing that I had taken the next step to my goal.
As I got home and pulled in the driveway, I walked in and saw the girls sitting on the couch with smiles on their faces.
Mike Laszlo: What?
Lindsay Laszlo: Nothing.
Mike Laszlo: Yeah sure.
Alexis came walking in, drying her hands off with a towel. Apparently she didn’t hear me come in.
Alexis Caffrey: Okay, it’s all ready. He’s gonna be shocked.
Then she noticed me.
Alexis Caffrey: Oh. Um. Yeah…
Mike Laszlo: What’s ready?
Lindsay Laszlo: Mike, have you ever thought of going blonde now that your hair is a little longer?
Mike Laszlo: Blonde? Why?
Lindsay Laszlo: Well you’ve been wrestling so long and have the same look. I think your look is getting stale and that this will get you noticed. Alexis likes the idea.
Mike Laszlo: How blonde are we talking here?
Alexis Caffrey: This color.
She holds up a box of platinum blonde hair dye.
Mike Laszlo: Are you serious?
All of them nod their head in agreement.
Mike Laszlo: How long does it stay in?
Alexis Caffrey: Six weeks. Then, if you like it…we can keep doing it. I think it’ll make you extremely marketable. You gotta shave too. Your beard is way too Tetris-esque.
Mike Laszlo: You know what? Fine.
About fifteen minutes later, my beard was gone and the dye was being applied.
Mike Laszlo: I can’t believe I let you guys talk me into this.
Alexis Caffrey: It’ll look great, promise.
A few more minutes and the dye was in and starting to set. Alexis touched it up a bit then had me look in the mirror. It was like I was staring at a completely different person.
Alexis Caffrey: So?
Mike Laszlo: Is that me?
Alexis Caffrey: Duh. Let’s see what the girls think.
We walked out into the family room where I shook my head around a bit showing off the blonde strands.
Alexis Caffrey: What do you think?
Lindsay Laszlo: It really doesn’t look that bad. It kind of gives off that California surfer vibe.
Mike Laszlo: I guess it’s not bad. We’ll see how it goes.
====================
Are you upset that I’m better than you Kanyon?
I’m taking your spot?
What the hell have you done to deserve a shot at the National Title? So you were X-Champion. So you defeated Ken Davison. I held that title for a longer period of time than ANYONE ELSE EVER HAS IN THIS COMPANY!
You can talk all you want about my failed bid for the World Title, but the fact remains to this very day that I am now and always will be better than you and your band of misfit toys.
That is in fact exactly what you group of rejects are.
It was the night before Christmas and little Tommy’s mother wanted to get him one last surprise gift for the holidays. So she dashed from store to store, not a cool toy in sight. Tommy age five was a big wrestling fan and the only action figures left was a collection set entitled “The Church of Thor.” She shrugged her shoulders, grabbed the set and wrapped it nice and pretty.
Christmas morning hits and it was time to open presents. Tommy tore through it all only to leave the action figure set last. Tearing through the paper, he was naturally excited when he saw the NCW logo on the packaging, hoping in his heart of hearts that he was getting a Mike Laszlo action figure, only to be sorely disappointed when he saw Church of Thor. So here was little Tommy, just old enough to read, looked at his mom and said “Mom, you got the wrong one.”
Tommy’s mom apologized, then asked why he didn’t like the Church of Thor. Tommy grabbed one of his plastic hammers and then looked at his mother. “Because all they do is this…”
Taking the hammer he smashed the ever living hell out of the set. Arms, legs, torsos, and heads flew as in the end there was nothing but a scattered bunch of parts. For even at the young age of five he knew what the rest of the world already knows…The Church of Thor ABSOLUTELY SUCKS!
So, Kanyon, bring Thor himself and I guaran-damn-tee you that I will take you out. I’ll take your lackeys out. I’ll take your damn God out. Then, when all is said and done, I move on to The Ace and I take him out, and take his National Title.
There’s nothing you can do about it, so you might as well just accept it as fact.