Post by Trent Helms on Feb 23, 2013 21:14:40 GMT -6
The sins of the father, are now going to be laid upon the son.
It's been a entire week, and not a entire peep has been heard from Steve Awesome, not a facebook status update, no random tweet about enjoying dinner with Mandi, not even a single sighting of him, outside of his favorite Gym in his native Detriot.
You would figure a man, who has a flare for the dramatic would of done something, Taken a **** and blogged about it, sent Jayson Matthews out to buy him and his sister some ice cream, but, each passing day there is nothing.
I berated his best friend in Jake Conway last week, I even defeated Conway in the same fashion I did, to end Steve's only Tag Team Title reign, and nothing.....
It's almost official.....Steve Awesome truely is no-more, maybe he is in hiding, I mean I would be too, if I managed to somehow be defeated by some kid, who name I don't even know on pay per view.
It's sad to see a man who once headlined this company, was praised as it's biggest star, had many pay per view posters with his pictures all over them, fallen to this, what was the point, of me making you the huge star back in the day, when in the past five pay per views, You've lost to a no-name that has done absolutely nothing in his two years in the company, a no-name who hasn't even done even enough to have me name-drop him in a promo, you got destroyed by a brute who lasted a whole seven minutes in this company, tapped out to Andrew Jacobsen, got destroyed by Xander Famularo, and was the first man eliminated in the Battlegrounds match, Do you know what I've done in my last five pay per view apperances?
I headlined 2 pay per views, challenged for the NCW World Championship, helped your son win a World Title, wrestled a match of the year, and shaved Adam Knite bald....
I have continued to battle former World Champions, Hall Of Famers, Triple Crown winners, and defeated them all.....
But I know deep down, the beast is still in there Steve, I know it's only a matter of time, before you get tired of the same vagina, it's only a matter of time before you get tired of looking at your new baby girl, and you will be sprinting back into NCW, wanting that spotlight back, wanting to hear millions of people, boo, yet love you all at the same time....I know it only a matter of time Steven before you come back, and the offer still stands, Join my side, let's bring back the days, where we were having the time of our lives, remember the time, we would totally double-bang five chicks in one night, We're brothers Steve, our balls have slapped against each other....and we both know, that's a bond that is unbreakable, a bond that can't be undone, when two men, decide to engage in a sexual act upon one women at the same time, it's a bond that mean more then family....
So I'm telling you Steve come back, Wouldn't it be fun to wreck havoc on the ncw roster, There are tons of jokes to be made about Todd Williams, about Xander Famularo and even about Kelly.
This really isn't about causing a new revolution, It's about what is fun, that's what my entire career has been about, doing what amuses me, I trolled the Hall Of Fame, just for the hell of it, for a better part of a year, I made Kelly give me a World Title shot, not because it was the only thing I carved, but it was just so funny, seeing her frizzled blonde hair, with the cute little pink streak in it, bending over backwards to feed into my ego.
Don't you miss that Steven?
But it seems, that words alone, are not going to get you here, I mean afterall, if the best hype man in the business can't seem to draw you back in front of the camera, maybe I'll have to take a more drastic action, and as fate would had it, I'm given a golden chance this week on Collision.
Now, I know Jacobsen, you're not really Steve Awesome son, I may play a stupid foul-mouth muiti-colored midget on television, but it doesn't mean, that's really who I am, I'm not the man they think I am at home....Oh No.....I'm not a rocketman, but it's still a very catchy theme song knowntheless.
Jacobsen, everyone is expecting me to come into this promo and do two things...
One, to talk about how I carried you to your only World Title, but truth is, You won the match, cause you know, I got bored, I so no point in going forward once I got rid of Charlie Velez and sent him back home on his married way, back to the umployment line and leaving without his company, What was I supposed to do....Kill myself and defeat Lex Sense and possibly Xander Famularo and for what gain....Regardless if I went into that match, and pinned all three men, You would of been handed the World Title, there was no end game for me, I was just there to give your team a fighting chance, giving it the much needed STAR-POWER it needed, truth is, You pinned Xander so you won the World title, you completed the Triple Crown, You've done something Xander Famularo hasn't been able too, He may talk about how we're only thirty-five day champions, I should remind him, I defended my NCW Championship as many times as he did in his second reign that was ended by your hand.
And of course, Everyone expects me to blow you out of the water promo wise, Andrew, your first problem is....Your name is Andrew, as someone who was born with that name I can tell you, it gets you no-where, The name Andrew, mostly just means second-best, There was Jesus and his brother Andrew, but no one speaks of him, instead they want to always talk aboujt that Necromancer, that invented your human race, named Jesus Christ.....You could tell me, well, Andrew Garfield played Spider-Man this year, that means something....
It doesn't....I'll put it in simple mathmatics for you....
Andrew Garfield as Spider-Man.....200 Million Dollars made at the Box-Office.
Tobey McGuire as Spider-Man.....Atleast 400 million, it's common knowledge, that people named Andrew don't draw in showbiz kid, it's why I changed my name, It's why Davey Ortega is known as Davey and not Drew Ortega, The name Andrew just doesn't pop, and I suggest if you want to become something more then a cheery blue-eyed pretty boy from Minnesota, you change the name....Ja'Quan is a good name if you ask me.
This is a Entertainment company, regardless if we make it out to be a wrestling company, We sell Entrainment, it's what we do, everybody on the roster is a world-class athlete, from the immobile Hexx, who has seemingly added another fifty-five pounds of beef to his frame, to Jake Conway, and his saggy balls....
People say I cheated....when I hit him below the belt, but it wouldn't of mattered if I hit him in the thigh, the knee, or the ankle, more then likely, my fist was going to connect with the change-purse known as his testicles, so I rest my case....
But we're all athletes Andrew, it's our characters that define us, Take me and Falcon for example.
Yes Kyle is a retired Hall Of Famer, who has had a amazing career in New Championship Wrestling, and as much as I would hate to admit, was my equal when it came to being known as the King of the High-Fliers, Kyles a good guy, and we're equal in in-ring talent.
But there is a big difference between me and him....
Flare.....
I bring so much flamboyancy into this promotion, that each time I enter a building, a few smoke alarms go off.
It's why I'm still talk about day in and day out, it's why there is always a huge buzz when I come back, and it's also why there is a poster of me from 2009 in your basement where you work out...
I'm a character, which seems to fool most wrestlers in this company, Me playing a crazy man on the TV, is like a natural defense mechanism, like a puffer fish blowing up like a balloon, or, I mean, most guys are either not going to go full-speed at a 5'8 man pretending to be from another planet, and will let their guards down, and as you can attest Jacobsen, if you don't come at me, with everything, more then likely, I'm going to find a way to outclass you, be it my superior speed, or a very overlooked artibute of mine, my mind...
I will admit, Conway caused me more problems then I would like to admit, but it wasn't something I couldn't handle, how many men, would think to use their own finishing move as a defensive weapon, and fake a knee injury, just to turn the table, I can't think of any, yet I did.
Jacobsen, I really want to see you succeed, and break out of the Ander Carvetti mold, of being extremely talented, with a great look, but affaid to speak on the microphone, You're a World Champion, the 10th man to enter the NCW Triple Crown club, and still you're not considered one of the big boys of this promotion, But I can help you, you just got to open your ears...
Stop being a mother****ing Boyscout Jacobsen, I know it always seem cool, to get caught in the middle of a war, but as someone who put his neck on the line once, and fought a war for this company, the benefits don't outweigh the cons, You have all the potential.....actually, let's just scratch that....You're tired of hearing it, it's quite generic and cliche'e....
You need to be something other then Andrew Jacobsen if you're going to succeed in this promotion, you need to evolve, become something more, then a great mat-based wrestler, You need to shoot more, then being a guy, who fits in great in NCW X Division.
As someone who was once stuck in that mold, being under-sized but extremely talent, who amazed people with his superior leaping ability and agility, I was once in your position Jacobsen, I was once a guy, who could of been a centerpiece in it, I was signed to this company, given the X-Division title and was told, just be happy.....But I wasn't happy with it, Sure there is nothing against the X-Division guys, We're the true talent of this company, but I said, to the hell with that, I'm not going to sit here, doing flippy floppy and belly-flops for a second-tier championship, when I can be the main attraction, I threw down my X Belt, by giving it to Shaun Wilson, who just a week later joined, your father and mine side in the Mid-Card Uprising......
Alex Jones may talk about going back to his roots, but that's just because Alex has finally accepted the fact, his head isn't hard enough to crack the glass ceiling, and I find it personally a disgrace ti everything I ever did for this company, when I became the first man under six feet tall, under two hundred and fourty pounds, to hold the big gold belt, I opened a ****ing door way for people like you, for Alex Jones, Jack Hammond, Brad Kane, all that hard work I did, is now being pissed away by Alex, I bursted thru that door back in 2008, and let the world know it was possible for a lightweight wrestler to complete with the big boys.
I could say I am the X Division, considering I'm the biggest name lightweight this company has ever produced, I was the first high profile speedy wrestler this promotion ever signed, and night end and night out, I would go in there, and show men who outweighed me by over 50 pounds, that I can kick the living **** out of them.
Trent Helms is the ****ing Example.
You can look at every match, I've ever had, compair my win to my losses, all the times, I screwed myself out of a victory, against guys who have been considered X-Division guys, only one has ever pinned me, I've beaten Hammond, Xavier Williams, Brad Kane, Falcon, Todd Williams, and even you Jacobsen, bitch how I lost the title after just thirty-five days, but I've dominated people who aren't considered a ****ing beef bus, and even against much bigger guys like Ace, Adam Knite, Mark Reeves, I've held my own and even dominated.
So don't be looking for Honor, from the original pioneer of the X-Division Jacobsen, just because we're high-motor type wrestlers, doesn't mean we're going to be all chummy and friends, there is not going to be no cameo in your future of you holding a lightsaber in a promo written by me, Personally I have no problem with you Andrew, I just don't have time for the bull**** that comes with being a veteran.....But just heed the following warning....
Grow a gimmick, do something crazy, yes you will look like a jackass, but atleast people will be talking about it....
Or continue being the North Star, it's up to you, but all this is quite off-subject.
What you expected me to stick to one point for the entire promo.
I still know why this match is happening Jacobsen.
It's because I'm looking to draw your daddy back to NCW.
And like Steve Awesome learnt at A Night To Remember 2012, and all the other times we fought, you two are about to find out, what your daddy Steven knows....
Trent Helms is One of a ****ing Kind!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So what are we doing here, I told you, I have no interest in becoming a pro wrestler.
You really think I'm going to try to teach you that, I mean everyone else does that, I hate bein that guy, you know being seen as a copycat and what not.
Really, people say you copy stuff, I was under the impression that, you just used CGI and camera tricks, smoke and mirror like stuff.
Jeremy, I don't believe I gave you permission to speak...
Sorry Odin-Son....
No, You will not be calling me that today, today is a very special day, you're going to met Zelda Knite....
But I've met her about six times before....
But not like this...
So what is it?
This is a yearly camp I run every year, for about 2 months, where I trained kids with rich parents, how to become a Jedi....
But Jedi aren't real....
SILENCE!!!!
{Trent suddenly force pushes Jeremy, which considering his hefty size, would take some effort, as Jeremy flies about 2 feet, before the wires that I clearly used for this special effect break, and he falls to the ground}
Dammit Jeremy, how many times have I told you, for me to keep using you in my promos, you need to lose some *** damn weight....
But I don't want to be here....
{Suddenly, Jeremy is cut in half}
{Don't flip out, there is no blood you basterds, this part of the promo is clearly rated PG-13}
Well, if you discard all the times I said **** and **** in this promo....
{Jeremy is cut in half, as he falls down, he sighs and walks off camera, as Zelda appears, with her Pink lightsaber}
You ready to do this uncle Trent?
But the kids, aren't even here, what is the point of our huge over the top lightsaber battle that is supposed to go for 35 minutes, if no one is around to watch it....
{Zelda sighS}
Sorry, I just wanted to get this over with....
WHAT?!?!!?!?!?
I don't know Uncle Trent, doesn't this seem a little old by now...
What do you mean....
I mean, I used to love pretending to be Jedi's against each other, but now I just feel....
What?
Aren't you a little too old to be pretending to be doing this?
OH THE NO YOU DIDN"T
Don't get me wrong uncle Trent, You're a fun uncle, but you're starting to get to the borderline creepy area....
{Trent looks at his lightsaber dejected, and throws it down, as a kid comes into the area...}
I'm ready to become a Jedi now....
Not now....
It's been a entire week, and not a entire peep has been heard from Steve Awesome, not a facebook status update, no random tweet about enjoying dinner with Mandi, not even a single sighting of him, outside of his favorite Gym in his native Detriot.
You would figure a man, who has a flare for the dramatic would of done something, Taken a **** and blogged about it, sent Jayson Matthews out to buy him and his sister some ice cream, but, each passing day there is nothing.
I berated his best friend in Jake Conway last week, I even defeated Conway in the same fashion I did, to end Steve's only Tag Team Title reign, and nothing.....
It's almost official.....Steve Awesome truely is no-more, maybe he is in hiding, I mean I would be too, if I managed to somehow be defeated by some kid, who name I don't even know on pay per view.
It's sad to see a man who once headlined this company, was praised as it's biggest star, had many pay per view posters with his pictures all over them, fallen to this, what was the point, of me making you the huge star back in the day, when in the past five pay per views, You've lost to a no-name that has done absolutely nothing in his two years in the company, a no-name who hasn't even done even enough to have me name-drop him in a promo, you got destroyed by a brute who lasted a whole seven minutes in this company, tapped out to Andrew Jacobsen, got destroyed by Xander Famularo, and was the first man eliminated in the Battlegrounds match, Do you know what I've done in my last five pay per view apperances?
I headlined 2 pay per views, challenged for the NCW World Championship, helped your son win a World Title, wrestled a match of the year, and shaved Adam Knite bald....
I have continued to battle former World Champions, Hall Of Famers, Triple Crown winners, and defeated them all.....
But I know deep down, the beast is still in there Steve, I know it's only a matter of time, before you get tired of the same vagina, it's only a matter of time before you get tired of looking at your new baby girl, and you will be sprinting back into NCW, wanting that spotlight back, wanting to hear millions of people, boo, yet love you all at the same time....I know it only a matter of time Steven before you come back, and the offer still stands, Join my side, let's bring back the days, where we were having the time of our lives, remember the time, we would totally double-bang five chicks in one night, We're brothers Steve, our balls have slapped against each other....and we both know, that's a bond that is unbreakable, a bond that can't be undone, when two men, decide to engage in a sexual act upon one women at the same time, it's a bond that mean more then family....
So I'm telling you Steve come back, Wouldn't it be fun to wreck havoc on the ncw roster, There are tons of jokes to be made about Todd Williams, about Xander Famularo and even about Kelly.
This really isn't about causing a new revolution, It's about what is fun, that's what my entire career has been about, doing what amuses me, I trolled the Hall Of Fame, just for the hell of it, for a better part of a year, I made Kelly give me a World Title shot, not because it was the only thing I carved, but it was just so funny, seeing her frizzled blonde hair, with the cute little pink streak in it, bending over backwards to feed into my ego.
Don't you miss that Steven?
But it seems, that words alone, are not going to get you here, I mean afterall, if the best hype man in the business can't seem to draw you back in front of the camera, maybe I'll have to take a more drastic action, and as fate would had it, I'm given a golden chance this week on Collision.
Now, I know Jacobsen, you're not really Steve Awesome son, I may play a stupid foul-mouth muiti-colored midget on television, but it doesn't mean, that's really who I am, I'm not the man they think I am at home....Oh No.....I'm not a rocketman, but it's still a very catchy theme song knowntheless.
Jacobsen, everyone is expecting me to come into this promo and do two things...
One, to talk about how I carried you to your only World Title, but truth is, You won the match, cause you know, I got bored, I so no point in going forward once I got rid of Charlie Velez and sent him back home on his married way, back to the umployment line and leaving without his company, What was I supposed to do....Kill myself and defeat Lex Sense and possibly Xander Famularo and for what gain....Regardless if I went into that match, and pinned all three men, You would of been handed the World Title, there was no end game for me, I was just there to give your team a fighting chance, giving it the much needed STAR-POWER it needed, truth is, You pinned Xander so you won the World title, you completed the Triple Crown, You've done something Xander Famularo hasn't been able too, He may talk about how we're only thirty-five day champions, I should remind him, I defended my NCW Championship as many times as he did in his second reign that was ended by your hand.
And of course, Everyone expects me to blow you out of the water promo wise, Andrew, your first problem is....Your name is Andrew, as someone who was born with that name I can tell you, it gets you no-where, The name Andrew, mostly just means second-best, There was Jesus and his brother Andrew, but no one speaks of him, instead they want to always talk aboujt that Necromancer, that invented your human race, named Jesus Christ.....You could tell me, well, Andrew Garfield played Spider-Man this year, that means something....
It doesn't....I'll put it in simple mathmatics for you....
Andrew Garfield as Spider-Man.....200 Million Dollars made at the Box-Office.
Tobey McGuire as Spider-Man.....Atleast 400 million, it's common knowledge, that people named Andrew don't draw in showbiz kid, it's why I changed my name, It's why Davey Ortega is known as Davey and not Drew Ortega, The name Andrew just doesn't pop, and I suggest if you want to become something more then a cheery blue-eyed pretty boy from Minnesota, you change the name....Ja'Quan is a good name if you ask me.
This is a Entertainment company, regardless if we make it out to be a wrestling company, We sell Entrainment, it's what we do, everybody on the roster is a world-class athlete, from the immobile Hexx, who has seemingly added another fifty-five pounds of beef to his frame, to Jake Conway, and his saggy balls....
People say I cheated....when I hit him below the belt, but it wouldn't of mattered if I hit him in the thigh, the knee, or the ankle, more then likely, my fist was going to connect with the change-purse known as his testicles, so I rest my case....
But we're all athletes Andrew, it's our characters that define us, Take me and Falcon for example.
Yes Kyle is a retired Hall Of Famer, who has had a amazing career in New Championship Wrestling, and as much as I would hate to admit, was my equal when it came to being known as the King of the High-Fliers, Kyles a good guy, and we're equal in in-ring talent.
But there is a big difference between me and him....
Flare.....
I bring so much flamboyancy into this promotion, that each time I enter a building, a few smoke alarms go off.
It's why I'm still talk about day in and day out, it's why there is always a huge buzz when I come back, and it's also why there is a poster of me from 2009 in your basement where you work out...
I'm a character, which seems to fool most wrestlers in this company, Me playing a crazy man on the TV, is like a natural defense mechanism, like a puffer fish blowing up like a balloon, or, I mean, most guys are either not going to go full-speed at a 5'8 man pretending to be from another planet, and will let their guards down, and as you can attest Jacobsen, if you don't come at me, with everything, more then likely, I'm going to find a way to outclass you, be it my superior speed, or a very overlooked artibute of mine, my mind...
I will admit, Conway caused me more problems then I would like to admit, but it wasn't something I couldn't handle, how many men, would think to use their own finishing move as a defensive weapon, and fake a knee injury, just to turn the table, I can't think of any, yet I did.
Jacobsen, I really want to see you succeed, and break out of the Ander Carvetti mold, of being extremely talented, with a great look, but affaid to speak on the microphone, You're a World Champion, the 10th man to enter the NCW Triple Crown club, and still you're not considered one of the big boys of this promotion, But I can help you, you just got to open your ears...
Stop being a mother****ing Boyscout Jacobsen, I know it always seem cool, to get caught in the middle of a war, but as someone who put his neck on the line once, and fought a war for this company, the benefits don't outweigh the cons, You have all the potential.....actually, let's just scratch that....You're tired of hearing it, it's quite generic and cliche'e....
You need to be something other then Andrew Jacobsen if you're going to succeed in this promotion, you need to evolve, become something more, then a great mat-based wrestler, You need to shoot more, then being a guy, who fits in great in NCW X Division.
As someone who was once stuck in that mold, being under-sized but extremely talent, who amazed people with his superior leaping ability and agility, I was once in your position Jacobsen, I was once a guy, who could of been a centerpiece in it, I was signed to this company, given the X-Division title and was told, just be happy.....But I wasn't happy with it, Sure there is nothing against the X-Division guys, We're the true talent of this company, but I said, to the hell with that, I'm not going to sit here, doing flippy floppy and belly-flops for a second-tier championship, when I can be the main attraction, I threw down my X Belt, by giving it to Shaun Wilson, who just a week later joined, your father and mine side in the Mid-Card Uprising......
Alex Jones may talk about going back to his roots, but that's just because Alex has finally accepted the fact, his head isn't hard enough to crack the glass ceiling, and I find it personally a disgrace ti everything I ever did for this company, when I became the first man under six feet tall, under two hundred and fourty pounds, to hold the big gold belt, I opened a ****ing door way for people like you, for Alex Jones, Jack Hammond, Brad Kane, all that hard work I did, is now being pissed away by Alex, I bursted thru that door back in 2008, and let the world know it was possible for a lightweight wrestler to complete with the big boys.
I could say I am the X Division, considering I'm the biggest name lightweight this company has ever produced, I was the first high profile speedy wrestler this promotion ever signed, and night end and night out, I would go in there, and show men who outweighed me by over 50 pounds, that I can kick the living **** out of them.
Trent Helms is the ****ing Example.
You can look at every match, I've ever had, compair my win to my losses, all the times, I screwed myself out of a victory, against guys who have been considered X-Division guys, only one has ever pinned me, I've beaten Hammond, Xavier Williams, Brad Kane, Falcon, Todd Williams, and even you Jacobsen, bitch how I lost the title after just thirty-five days, but I've dominated people who aren't considered a ****ing beef bus, and even against much bigger guys like Ace, Adam Knite, Mark Reeves, I've held my own and even dominated.
So don't be looking for Honor, from the original pioneer of the X-Division Jacobsen, just because we're high-motor type wrestlers, doesn't mean we're going to be all chummy and friends, there is not going to be no cameo in your future of you holding a lightsaber in a promo written by me, Personally I have no problem with you Andrew, I just don't have time for the bull**** that comes with being a veteran.....But just heed the following warning....
Grow a gimmick, do something crazy, yes you will look like a jackass, but atleast people will be talking about it....
Or continue being the North Star, it's up to you, but all this is quite off-subject.
What you expected me to stick to one point for the entire promo.
I still know why this match is happening Jacobsen.
It's because I'm looking to draw your daddy back to NCW.
And like Steve Awesome learnt at A Night To Remember 2012, and all the other times we fought, you two are about to find out, what your daddy Steven knows....
Trent Helms is One of a ****ing Kind!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So what are we doing here, I told you, I have no interest in becoming a pro wrestler.
You really think I'm going to try to teach you that, I mean everyone else does that, I hate bein that guy, you know being seen as a copycat and what not.
Really, people say you copy stuff, I was under the impression that, you just used CGI and camera tricks, smoke and mirror like stuff.
Jeremy, I don't believe I gave you permission to speak...
Sorry Odin-Son....
No, You will not be calling me that today, today is a very special day, you're going to met Zelda Knite....
But I've met her about six times before....
But not like this...
So what is it?
This is a yearly camp I run every year, for about 2 months, where I trained kids with rich parents, how to become a Jedi....
But Jedi aren't real....
SILENCE!!!!
{Trent suddenly force pushes Jeremy, which considering his hefty size, would take some effort, as Jeremy flies about 2 feet, before the wires that I clearly used for this special effect break, and he falls to the ground}
Dammit Jeremy, how many times have I told you, for me to keep using you in my promos, you need to lose some *** damn weight....
But I don't want to be here....
{Suddenly, Jeremy is cut in half}
{Don't flip out, there is no blood you basterds, this part of the promo is clearly rated PG-13}
Well, if you discard all the times I said **** and **** in this promo....
{Jeremy is cut in half, as he falls down, he sighs and walks off camera, as Zelda appears, with her Pink lightsaber}
You ready to do this uncle Trent?
But the kids, aren't even here, what is the point of our huge over the top lightsaber battle that is supposed to go for 35 minutes, if no one is around to watch it....
{Zelda sighS}
Sorry, I just wanted to get this over with....
WHAT?!?!!?!?!?
I don't know Uncle Trent, doesn't this seem a little old by now...
What do you mean....
I mean, I used to love pretending to be Jedi's against each other, but now I just feel....
What?
Aren't you a little too old to be pretending to be doing this?
OH THE NO YOU DIDN"T
Don't get me wrong uncle Trent, You're a fun uncle, but you're starting to get to the borderline creepy area....
{Trent looks at his lightsaber dejected, and throws it down, as a kid comes into the area...}
I'm ready to become a Jedi now....
Not now....