Post by Zelda Knite on Feb 23, 2013 22:16:46 GMT -6
[Zelda and Crystal stand in the back room of a Booksamillion where they just made a public appearance as per their NCW contracts. They stand in front of a computer monitor where the sight of Kathy Conway fading off the screen is the last thing we see before the camera pans around to see Zelda and Crystal standing there wide jawed open in complete confusion. Zelda turns to Crystal and Crystal does the same and Zelda begins giggling like crazy.]
Zelda: Oh man, did you see that? She totally called Emma Shrek. It was fantastic. I was LOLing hard.
[Crystal cocks and eyebrow and glares at her friend.]
Crystal: Wait. Did you just turn “L.O.L.” into a verb?
Zelda: WOI Crystal.
Crystal W.O.I.?
Zelda: What of it?
Crystal: You can’t just take a figure of speech and then turn it into text abbreviation, then turn that into a figure of speech, and then transition that into a conjugated verb... that doesn't make any sense!
Zelda: Well it’s like... just... YOLO.
Crystal: That doesn’t make any sense either!
[Zelda just shrugs her shoulders and pretends Crystal hasn’t said anything.]
Zelda: OMG I’m hungry, lets get something to eat.
[Crystal puts her hands on her hips, refuses to go anywhere and gives Zelda the longest, hardest stank eye you’ve ever seen as she pierces her best friend with her eyes. Zelda turns her head side ways and looks at Crystal as if she’s the one who is crazy.]
Zelda: SMH Crystal. It’s NBD.
Crystal: Would you stop that already!?
Zelda: WTF? Stop what?
Crystal: Speaking like a text message.
Zelda: IDK what you’re talking about Crystal.
Crystal: STOP IT! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP!
[Crystal steps forward and puts her foot into the ground making a loud crashing sound as she stomps her foot and puts her arms behind her like a young child throwing a hissy fit. Zelda puts her arms out in the “what?” pose as she appear sto still have no idea what’s going on. There are several seconds of awkward silence as Crystal stands straight up and takes a few deep breaths.]
Crystal: Alright... I’m sorry. You’re just driving me crazy. You’re about to make me pull my hair out, and I swear I’m about to bounce.
Zelda: I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you were that serious about it. If I would have known I was making you go all Hulk out mad on me I wouldn’t have done it.... you are my BFF after all.
Crystal: AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!! That’s it! I’M DONE! I’M OUT! I’m not talking to you anymore!
[Crystal turns away and stomps off out the door as Zelda begins laughing like crazy. She folds over and holds her stomach in pain as she laughs so hard she can barely catch her breath. Crystal angrily mumbles to herself out the door and into her car, turns the key in the ignition and burns out away. Zelda wipes some tears from her eyes as she stands back up and heads towards the door to see Crystal is totally gone. Zelda looks around, then lowers her head.]
Zelda: Crappit... she was my ride...
[Fade to black.]
Ok first off...
Really?
Were you trying to defend your partner by talking about how great she was or where you trying to one up my Shrek references by calling her a big green ogre first? I mean, I’m not sure where you were going with that other than trying to blatantly copy your husband’s tactics of copying what other people say and try to use it before them. You know, like he did against Adam a few years ago. Sure it guess it looks pretty cool on paper that you called her a big, smelly, flat footed, ugly ogre first.... but in the end... you’re still calling your own tag team partner a big, smelly, flat footed, ugly ogre. It’s like you saved me the time, thank you I guess.
Well done. I mean it. I could have come on here and talked about how big of a goomba you were, how you were really nothing more than Ace’s pet and nothing you said made sense and lacked anything interesting of note, but just watching you speak, just listening to whatever it was that you were babbling on about, made that pretty clear to anybody within earshot. So no need to really repeat anything everybody is already thinking.
Also... seriously... what is up with you always talking about Ace!? For the love of Bowser it’s like you think just because you have him around all the time that makes you a better wrestler or something. Come on, I’m sick of listening about how great “The Ace” is. I had to watch it for years as he and Adam fought, I have to listen to it every time you and I are in a match, I have to hear it now every week on TV now that Steve, that asinine moron, left him in charge of the Starlets division. The outcome of this match isn’t going to be decided by how good Ace is or isn’t. It’s going to be about you and I. You don’t see me talking about how great Simon is every week, despite the fact that he currently has the longest title reign in NCW history. You don’t see me talking about how my brother is in the hall of fame and has beaten your husband in just about every match they’ve ever been in together. Why? Because it’s meaningless. You would think somebody who claims to be so smart would get that.
It doesn’t matter how good Jake is. It doesn’t matter how much he has accomplished. This match is between you and Emma and me and Crystal. That’s it. Who cares what Ace did. Who cares that you’re his wife. Crystal is the wife of a Todd Williams. You know another former World Champion and you don’t see her going on about it all the time. So why do you? Get over it dude.
You two want to know why I’m so care free? Why I act like nothing ever phases me? It’s because it doesn’t. I went through my phase where I let everything get to me and my life suffered for it. I lost who I was in all that mess and I don’t ever want that to happen again. I’m not fronting here, I’m serious. There is no armor to be broken down, there is no wall to tear through. If somebody beats me, then they just earned it, it doesn’t mean that I will sink into a hole and run away and never be able to beat them again. I’ll do everything I’m doing now and just come back better... try again, I have a countless amount of continues stored up. Life is a game... that’s the way I see it, and you’re just mad because I always end up with the high score.
Speaking of which... Emma.
I would spend a good amount of time trashing you here, you know because that’s like my favorite past time and all but I really don’t see a reason why I should. I’ve beaten you just about every single time we’ve ever faced. You have never beaten me one on one, you’ve never come close to even pinning me let alone making me submit. You’ll always be in my shadow as the person I first beat in NCW, you always be seen as the second tier level of talent while I was tearing through the division, and you will always know that I could have had your boycrush Andrew anytime I wanted, while you desperately groveled for his affection. It’s clear who the upper tier level combatant is in this scenario... so what’s the point of pwning you? Also... Kathy already did a good enough job for me.
I’ll just say... stop being so jelly. I’m better at this game we call “life” than you are. If you someday finally beat me, finally pin me... good for you... but it doesn’t matter to me, because I still have plenty of other accomplishments to fall back on, plenty of other things I can point out that say I’ve been better than you... keep trying, keep coming at me to try and beat me... fine, good for you... but stop acting like this is divine right of yours to one day dethrone me... because that’s just sad, and frankly.... a tad bit silly.
You two have made it clear what you’re trying to do... hold down anybody who stands opposed to you, with Emma as the string alonged little puppet for Kathy to point towards what she wants beated up, but things are quickly going to change now... now EMF has put their foot down and made their stance clear too...
...We’re going to stop you.
We’re not going to let you run this company, not let you mold this Starlets division in your own image, we’re not going to allow you to tarnish the reputation of a promotion that we helped build up and turn into the best Women’s division in the world. We are going to fight, we saw enough, we will beat you and show you just how wrong you are.
The. End.
[We come back to see Crystal sitting on the edge of her hotel room bed. The sounds of a soft knock on the door ring out through the room and Crystal stands up and answer it... to her dismay to see Zelda standing there holding a brown paper bag in her hands. Crystal sticks her fingers in her ear and turns her back to Z.]
Crystal: I’m not talking to you, and I’m not listening to you say those words anymore.
Zelda: I didn’t mean to offend you Crystal.... look, you’re my best friend and I’m sorry. I brought you some chili cheese fries to make up for it.
[Zelda holds up the bag of fries and waves them behind Crystal’s head. Crystal sniffs the air, lowers her arms and turns back around... obviously the fingers in her ear didn’t block out all the sounds of Zelda’s voice.]
Crystal: Dammit Z. I can’t stay mad at you... you’re my best friend forever.
Zelda: If only there was some way to shorten that sentence so you could spend less time saying it and more time eating your delicious chili cheese fries.
Crystal: Don’t start.
Zelda: I’m just sayin’.... but best friends again?
Crystal: Of course. EMF for life, a little fight like that will never stop us from being besties you know that, we’re too close for that..... now gimmie those fries.
[Zelda smiles and reaches into the bag, then suddenly jerks her hand back out, bringing up a vintage 1991 Atari Lynx II handheld gaming system which she promptly chunks right into the stomach of Crystal with a quick swing of her arm. Crystal bends over holding her gut in pain and falls to her knees. Zelda stands over her and holds out her arms.]
Zelda: That’s for leaving me there you jerk!
Crystal: owwww.... a 20 year old toy.... seriously?
[Zelda gets on her knees just like Crystal and gets a mere inches from Crystal’s face.]
Zelda: ...yo-lo.
[Zelda pushes the rest of the brown bag towards Crystal, which does actually hold some hot and delicious chili cheese fries as we fade to black one last time, as Zelda smiles and makes the EMF heart symbol with her hands over her chest and we’re done.]
Zelda: Oh man, did you see that? She totally called Emma Shrek. It was fantastic. I was LOLing hard.
[Crystal cocks and eyebrow and glares at her friend.]
Crystal: Wait. Did you just turn “L.O.L.” into a verb?
Zelda: WOI Crystal.
Crystal W.O.I.?
Zelda: What of it?
Crystal: You can’t just take a figure of speech and then turn it into text abbreviation, then turn that into a figure of speech, and then transition that into a conjugated verb... that doesn't make any sense!
Zelda: Well it’s like... just... YOLO.
Crystal: That doesn’t make any sense either!
[Zelda just shrugs her shoulders and pretends Crystal hasn’t said anything.]
Zelda: OMG I’m hungry, lets get something to eat.
[Crystal puts her hands on her hips, refuses to go anywhere and gives Zelda the longest, hardest stank eye you’ve ever seen as she pierces her best friend with her eyes. Zelda turns her head side ways and looks at Crystal as if she’s the one who is crazy.]
Zelda: SMH Crystal. It’s NBD.
Crystal: Would you stop that already!?
Zelda: WTF? Stop what?
Crystal: Speaking like a text message.
Zelda: IDK what you’re talking about Crystal.
Crystal: STOP IT! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP!
[Crystal steps forward and puts her foot into the ground making a loud crashing sound as she stomps her foot and puts her arms behind her like a young child throwing a hissy fit. Zelda puts her arms out in the “what?” pose as she appear sto still have no idea what’s going on. There are several seconds of awkward silence as Crystal stands straight up and takes a few deep breaths.]
Crystal: Alright... I’m sorry. You’re just driving me crazy. You’re about to make me pull my hair out, and I swear I’m about to bounce.
Zelda: I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you were that serious about it. If I would have known I was making you go all Hulk out mad on me I wouldn’t have done it.... you are my BFF after all.
Crystal: AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!! That’s it! I’M DONE! I’M OUT! I’m not talking to you anymore!
[Crystal turns away and stomps off out the door as Zelda begins laughing like crazy. She folds over and holds her stomach in pain as she laughs so hard she can barely catch her breath. Crystal angrily mumbles to herself out the door and into her car, turns the key in the ignition and burns out away. Zelda wipes some tears from her eyes as she stands back up and heads towards the door to see Crystal is totally gone. Zelda looks around, then lowers her head.]
Zelda: Crappit... she was my ride...
[Fade to black.]
Ok first off...
Really?
Were you trying to defend your partner by talking about how great she was or where you trying to one up my Shrek references by calling her a big green ogre first? I mean, I’m not sure where you were going with that other than trying to blatantly copy your husband’s tactics of copying what other people say and try to use it before them. You know, like he did against Adam a few years ago. Sure it guess it looks pretty cool on paper that you called her a big, smelly, flat footed, ugly ogre first.... but in the end... you’re still calling your own tag team partner a big, smelly, flat footed, ugly ogre. It’s like you saved me the time, thank you I guess.
Well done. I mean it. I could have come on here and talked about how big of a goomba you were, how you were really nothing more than Ace’s pet and nothing you said made sense and lacked anything interesting of note, but just watching you speak, just listening to whatever it was that you were babbling on about, made that pretty clear to anybody within earshot. So no need to really repeat anything everybody is already thinking.
Also... seriously... what is up with you always talking about Ace!? For the love of Bowser it’s like you think just because you have him around all the time that makes you a better wrestler or something. Come on, I’m sick of listening about how great “The Ace” is. I had to watch it for years as he and Adam fought, I have to listen to it every time you and I are in a match, I have to hear it now every week on TV now that Steve, that asinine moron, left him in charge of the Starlets division. The outcome of this match isn’t going to be decided by how good Ace is or isn’t. It’s going to be about you and I. You don’t see me talking about how great Simon is every week, despite the fact that he currently has the longest title reign in NCW history. You don’t see me talking about how my brother is in the hall of fame and has beaten your husband in just about every match they’ve ever been in together. Why? Because it’s meaningless. You would think somebody who claims to be so smart would get that.
It doesn’t matter how good Jake is. It doesn’t matter how much he has accomplished. This match is between you and Emma and me and Crystal. That’s it. Who cares what Ace did. Who cares that you’re his wife. Crystal is the wife of a Todd Williams. You know another former World Champion and you don’t see her going on about it all the time. So why do you? Get over it dude.
You two want to know why I’m so care free? Why I act like nothing ever phases me? It’s because it doesn’t. I went through my phase where I let everything get to me and my life suffered for it. I lost who I was in all that mess and I don’t ever want that to happen again. I’m not fronting here, I’m serious. There is no armor to be broken down, there is no wall to tear through. If somebody beats me, then they just earned it, it doesn’t mean that I will sink into a hole and run away and never be able to beat them again. I’ll do everything I’m doing now and just come back better... try again, I have a countless amount of continues stored up. Life is a game... that’s the way I see it, and you’re just mad because I always end up with the high score.
Speaking of which... Emma.
I would spend a good amount of time trashing you here, you know because that’s like my favorite past time and all but I really don’t see a reason why I should. I’ve beaten you just about every single time we’ve ever faced. You have never beaten me one on one, you’ve never come close to even pinning me let alone making me submit. You’ll always be in my shadow as the person I first beat in NCW, you always be seen as the second tier level of talent while I was tearing through the division, and you will always know that I could have had your boycrush Andrew anytime I wanted, while you desperately groveled for his affection. It’s clear who the upper tier level combatant is in this scenario... so what’s the point of pwning you? Also... Kathy already did a good enough job for me.
I’ll just say... stop being so jelly. I’m better at this game we call “life” than you are. If you someday finally beat me, finally pin me... good for you... but it doesn’t matter to me, because I still have plenty of other accomplishments to fall back on, plenty of other things I can point out that say I’ve been better than you... keep trying, keep coming at me to try and beat me... fine, good for you... but stop acting like this is divine right of yours to one day dethrone me... because that’s just sad, and frankly.... a tad bit silly.
You two have made it clear what you’re trying to do... hold down anybody who stands opposed to you, with Emma as the string alonged little puppet for Kathy to point towards what she wants beated up, but things are quickly going to change now... now EMF has put their foot down and made their stance clear too...
...We’re going to stop you.
We’re not going to let you run this company, not let you mold this Starlets division in your own image, we’re not going to allow you to tarnish the reputation of a promotion that we helped build up and turn into the best Women’s division in the world. We are going to fight, we saw enough, we will beat you and show you just how wrong you are.
The. End.
[We come back to see Crystal sitting on the edge of her hotel room bed. The sounds of a soft knock on the door ring out through the room and Crystal stands up and answer it... to her dismay to see Zelda standing there holding a brown paper bag in her hands. Crystal sticks her fingers in her ear and turns her back to Z.]
Crystal: I’m not talking to you, and I’m not listening to you say those words anymore.
Zelda: I didn’t mean to offend you Crystal.... look, you’re my best friend and I’m sorry. I brought you some chili cheese fries to make up for it.
[Zelda holds up the bag of fries and waves them behind Crystal’s head. Crystal sniffs the air, lowers her arms and turns back around... obviously the fingers in her ear didn’t block out all the sounds of Zelda’s voice.]
Crystal: Dammit Z. I can’t stay mad at you... you’re my best friend forever.
Zelda: If only there was some way to shorten that sentence so you could spend less time saying it and more time eating your delicious chili cheese fries.
Crystal: Don’t start.
Zelda: I’m just sayin’.... but best friends again?
Crystal: Of course. EMF for life, a little fight like that will never stop us from being besties you know that, we’re too close for that..... now gimmie those fries.
[Zelda smiles and reaches into the bag, then suddenly jerks her hand back out, bringing up a vintage 1991 Atari Lynx II handheld gaming system which she promptly chunks right into the stomach of Crystal with a quick swing of her arm. Crystal bends over holding her gut in pain and falls to her knees. Zelda stands over her and holds out her arms.]
Zelda: That’s for leaving me there you jerk!
Crystal: owwww.... a 20 year old toy.... seriously?
[Zelda gets on her knees just like Crystal and gets a mere inches from Crystal’s face.]
Zelda: ...yo-lo.
[Zelda pushes the rest of the brown bag towards Crystal, which does actually hold some hot and delicious chili cheese fries as we fade to black one last time, as Zelda smiles and makes the EMF heart symbol with her hands over her chest and we’re done.]